Do Parents Understand?

[SigkapAlumWSU]

I wouldn't say that my parents were exactly thrilled when they learned tat I joined, but at the same time, they have always let me explore anything that interests me. They told me that I had to make sure to keep my grades up if I wanted to stay in. I think that they've noticed that I'm a much more outgoing person since I've joined, and that I am involved in more that I would be without the sorority, and for that, they are happy.

[APhiAngel]

my parents are great about me being greek. when I first decided that I was going to join, my dad (who went to a predominately male university in Mass. in the 70's) told me very sternly that I did not have to do anything that makes me feel uncomfofrtable (i.e. hazing), he was really funny about it. but now they love that I am greek and they love all of my sisters as well. We have a lot of our events at my parents house and my dad loves that 45 women and at our house. My mom, likes it too, everytime some sisters see her (my parents own a local business and pretty much ALL the greeks from our school go there, so they know a lot of them) they tell her that she should be an A.I. I think after 3 years of asking her to join, I think she wants to now.
It's great to have parents who support what you do esp. when they see you put your heart and soul into it!

[LuaBlanca]

My parents, right now, are kind of indifferent about it. They don't like the "[stereotypical] image" that is associated with GLOs. But like I told them, they weren't too happy when I decided to try out for colorguard the summer before my freshman year of high school, and by the time 2nd semester rolled around they loved the girls and supported me 100%. I know the same thing will happen this time too if I do decide to rush and get a bid.

My mom wasn't born in America, and neither of my parents went to college, so they really don't know what they're talking about aside from the Lifetime movies and Dateline hazing stories they've seen. At one point I said to my mother "Do you REALLY think they'd make a movie or do a news segment on a group of people that was doing something good? No, because it's not nearly as interesting. How many times have you seen "Habitat for Humanity," or "greenPeace" on the news? Not too often, but you know they're there and that they're doing good things. You're not going to hear about the thousands of college kids involved in this who DIDN'T get hazed and who AREN'T drunk party-crashers." That shut her up for the time being...!

If it works out and the time comes to pay dues, I don't think they'll be paying. I probably wouldn't ask them to anyway.

[MysticCat]

There are lots of Greeks in my family, going back at least four generations, so it wasn't a big deal at all. I think my parents just trusted me to use good sense.

[meridionaleDG]

My Dad was all about it and encouraged me. He also supported me and helped talk to me when I called him crying the last night during recruitment. He was President of the PIKES when he went to my school - so he knows being a member of a greek org. can be really rewarding. When I drove home from recruitment he had DG letters all over my house outside. Hahaha - it was the funniest thing. I think he knew more about my sorority than I did before I went through my new member education process. I told him I really liked Delta Gamma during recruitment - and I guess he got on the wbesite that week and started learning the colors and the facts.

My mom didn't go to a school with sororities, and so she was very happy for me. She said she always felt like she missed out by not being able to join a sorority (but I am going to help her take steps to become an Alumnae Initiate of DG!!).

So, I guess I was pretty lucky. I really had no conflict from my parents about wanting to go through recruitment - if anything I had their full support. My brother is a different story. hahaha

[sugar and spice]

I was the first person in my family to go Greek, so it's not suprising that they carried a lot of stereotypes as to what Greek life is about. I actually didn't tell my parents I was rushing -- I told them after I'd accepted my bid. I thought my mom would be okay with it and my dad would freak out, but it turned out to be the other way around. My dad basically told me "different strokes for different folks" and that even though he would have never joined a Greek organization, it was okay if it was something that appealed to me. My mom was the one who was all like, "But sororities are full of sluts who drink all the time and don't care about school and blah blah blah . . ." In the end they were both impressed with the thought I had put into it and the research I'd done -- I brought up Tri Delta's no-hazing policy, the fact that sorority women at my school have a GPA that's comparable to the all-women average (in fact, this semester the sorority average was higher! ), the volunteer work we do, stuff like that. I pay my own dues, so it's not like they could have stopped me if they had wanted to.

I think my mom still believes the stereotypical stuff -- I'm pretty sure she thinks I got hazed, that we drink too much, etc. She caught an episode of "Sorority Life" this season which didn't help.

My advice for anyone whose parents are anti-Greek is just to do as much research as possible and then present it to them. Point out that all NPC organizations have anti-hazing policies, but that even if you were getting hazed, you'd be strong enough to walk away from the situation. Emphasize that while Greek organizations are primarily based on social activities, they also have a strong emphasis on academics, philanthropy, and sisterhood. Point out how they can help you in your future career, or how, if you move from one city to another, you can meet up with the alumnae chapter there and have instant social connections to make the transition easier. After you accept your bid, point your parents in the direction of your organization's national website so they can do some more reading and see what it's all about. My mom looked at the Tri Delta website after I accepted my bid, and she read about our work with St. Jude's, all the famous Tri Delta alums, the alcohol and hazing policies, and the long history of the organization. I think that helped her to understand a little bit more about how sororities are more than just the stereotypes.

[CatStarESP4]

When I rush the NPCs at Stony Brook, my parents weren't really supportive of my wanting to join a sorority. They were born and raised overseas, but they have lived in the country for about 40 years, so they understand what Greek Life is about. It wasn't until cofounded my wonderful sorority that they were supportive and proud of me.

[AchtungBaby80]

My parents were happy I went Greek. Of course, my stepdad was sort of miffed that I didn't join the same sorority as my sisters, but he got over that and the fact that my chapter was definitely not the coolest one around when he was in school, so he's fine with it. He was in a fraternity, too, so he understood. My mom was thrilled because she never got to go to college and she never had the chance to be in a sorority. So everything worked out.

My dad, on the other hand...well, that's another story.

[Munchkin03]

My parents were pretty chill about the whole thing--gotta give it up to crunchy granola parenting. They have always trusted us to make the best decisions for us, and that included Greek Life--they were familiar with both NPC and NPHC recruitment, and let us know what was smart/stupid to do in regard to those processes. I was responsible for paying dues, which was my choice--I figured that with my parents paying tuition, room/board, books, and airfare at a very expensive school far away, I could pay my sorority dues out of my summer job. It had nothing to do with whether or not my parents supported my decision to go Greek. Last year for Christmas, my mother made my sister and I quilts in our colors, so now a red and green quilt graces my bed!

Originally posted by sugar and spice
I was the first person in my family to go Greek, so it's not suprising that they carried a lot of stereotypes as to what Greek life is about. I actually didn't tell my parents I was rushing -- I told them after I'd accepted my bid. I thought my mom would be okay with it and my dad would freak out, but it turned out to be the other way around. My dad basically told me "different strokes for different folks" and that even though he would have never joined a Greek organization, it was okay if it was something that appealed to me. My mom was the one who was all like, "But sororities are full of sluts who drink all the time and don't care about school and blah blah blah . . ." In the end they were both impressed with the thought I had put into it and the research I'd done -- I brought up Tri Delta's no-hazing policy, the fact that sorority women at my school have a GPA that's comparable to the all-women average (in fact, this semester the sorority average was higher! ), the volunteer work we do, stuff like that. I pay my own dues, so it's not like they could have stopped me if they had wanted to.

I think my mom still believes the stereotypical stuff -- I'm pretty sure she thinks I got hazed, that we drink too much, etc. She caught an episode of "Sorority Life" this season which didn't help.

I agree fully. I didn't tell my parents about rushing until after I got my bid and then I was like "Listen, I'm doing this, what do you think?" I was extremely surprised to hear my dad say "Do you want us to send you a check or something?" My reaction was !

Now my parents have kind of switched roles. My mom saw pictures of me with my Big as well as the paddle she made me and she was like "She's cute and really creative!" My dad, on the other hand, is more worried about what FGP can do for me than what I can do for it. We've been going through a lot of struggles (check them out on the Local in Trouble thread) so I'm working my booty off this summer to keep us going.

[KillarneyRose]

My parents were fine with my joining a sorority, just as they've always been fine with anything else I've ever wanted to do. They always said they taught my sister and me to know our own minds then just sat back and hoped they'd done a good job I hope to use this same approach with my daughters, but somehow I think that I'm waaaaaay too "Type A" to do that!

As for initiation fees, dues, etc....it never occured to me to ask my parents to pay for those things. At that age I was very into being an Independant 80's Woman My sister, on the other hand, frequented the Bank of Mom and Dad for her fees, dues, formal dresses, etc. and I guess they figured since they were footing most of the bill to send her to an Ivy some sorority stuff was just a drop in the bucket. She always was so spoiled!

[BSUPhiSig'92]

My parents were dead set against me joining a fraternity, mostly because they had convinced themselves I would just goof off and flunk out. My dad was Navy all the way, and my mom had been in a local in the 50s when they still had 10pm curfew in the women's dorms! Their perceptions of fraternities was based mostly on "Animal House" which they both thought was hysterical. They reluctantly gave their permission for me to join Phi Sig after much persuasion (and a little begging), but that if my grades dropped one little bit I would be out of their so fast my head would spin! Gradually they got over their reluctance as they got to know my brothers and saw what confidence and leadership I gained from the chapter (and maintained an acceptable, but regretfully not stellar gpa). My mom even said to me a few years ago that joining a fraternity was the best thing for me. She was especially touched at my brothers and chapter that sent flowers to my dad's funeral and the outpouring of support from the Greeks on the campus I advise.

[AlphaGamJLo]

Coming from an Asian home, my parents still don't understand about all the fraternity/sorority stuff. Ever since I was little, they were all about school, school, school. They support all my decisions about education, since they pay for what I need when I'm in college. However, when it comes to my sorority, I basically have to work for to pay for my dues and financial obligations.

[Betarulz!]

My parents have been wonderfully in support of me going Greek.

My parents both went to Nebraska, so they knew about the Greek system, and my dad was rushed really hard by PhiPsi but couldn't afford it so didn't join. My mom never considered sorority life, although my aunt (her little sister) joined AZD three years later.

I had talked about going greek a little bit during my senior year, and so I don't think it was much of a surprise when I finally decided to do it. We were actually at my freshman orientation day when my dad and I decided to tour some of the houses and that pretty much set me on the path.

I think that the biggest reason they were okay with it was because I was going out of state and they thought it would be good for me to have the support of the house.

My mom was obviously apprehensive, but after I started looking at Beta, she found out that her boss was a Beta and she really began pushing Beta despite the fact that she didn't really know anything about the house.

Still apprehensive about it though, the day we moved me in, she totally fell for the house and is a huge supporter. She now says that if my little brother wants to go to Nebraska he has to join my house, otherwise he can go to KU or pay his own way at Nebraska!!!

[SDTSarah]

My parents were okay with it, although I don't think my mom really gets it. She went to Vanderbilt in the 60's and she was from New Jersey...I think the sororities were WAY too Southern for her! I think she was surprised that I said I wanted to rush, but she never discouraged me from it. Both my grandmothers, aunts, and cousins were in sororities, so it definitely is in our family. It was so cute when I went to make my paddle...my mom was helping me place the teddy bear and decide what letters were best...it was definitely a warm and fuzzy moment.

My dad was never in a fraternity, but since he teaches at my school, he knows (and likes) a lot of my sisters. All in all, my parents are glad I joined. They know I need to be around people!