Dating slump? - Page 2

bgsugirlie · #16 01-11-2003, 08:57 PM

Ok, well do you guys ever get really nervous when you go out with someone new the first time? I still feel like I'm in seventh grade sometimes...and I get so worried about things that I end up not even wanting to go out with the guy...but I force myself to and it ends up being a blast! This always happens to me with new guys...are any of you the same way?

By the way...those of you in a slump...live up being single! Most of the best memories I have are from when I was single and having a girl's night out...it makes for some crazy, unforgettable times!

D_Chi_Zinni · #17 01-12-2003, 12:28 AM

like I had a girl I had been going out with for a while right when I got to school, And I realized I was putting alot of effort into a relationship I could tell was not gonna go anywhere. Thats why I like being single at school now, I can go out have a good time and jsut be uncontrollably wild. Its exilerating, and I have the most memorable things happen

I love being single and I definately have more fun then when I was dating. This is not to say that I wouldn't want to date someone, I am just backing off of it and letting someone right for me turn up before I start dumping alot of effort into nothing.

Betarulz! · #18 01-12-2003, 02:48 AM

Geo's tip for breaking the slump...

This works for either sex (I've seen it) and while some what horrible and disrespectful both to the other person and yourself, it's worked for friends of mine.

What you need to do is go find the ugliest/nerdiest/least desirable member of the opposite sex (the bigger the dud the better) and hook up with them...go as far as you would normally go with someone you were really into OR until you lose all respect for yourself - whichever comes first. For the guys this means that you sleep with your slumpbuster...girls, I have no idea how far they'll go, but my friend went all the way.

Do this once (I can't stress this enough) and within two weekends you'll be out of your slump. Probably has something to do with lowering of standards, or confidence or something on why it works. Why it works for guys also plays of the fact that as soon as a guy has hooked up with someone he immediatly gets more attention from other girls. It's like he sends off signals that yes, some girl has approved him and he's safe for all of them...

Anyway try it...it couldn't hurt

ChiOqt · #19 01-12-2003, 04:02 AM

Don't get me wrong...while I may be in a slump, I must say I LOOOOVE single life....most of the time. When I see all my sisters upset over boyfriends, especially..then there's days when no one is around because they are all out with their men that I hate it. But after being in a relationship for almost 3 years, you gotta live it up while you can!

I wouldn't trade the crazy nights with my girls for anything....yet!

PandaOnProzac · #20 01-12-2003, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

Damn right!

LeslieAGD · #21 01-12-2003, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

No, when you meet that 1%, they're in the military and they leave.

But seriously, I've been in a slump for a long time. However, a large part of it is that I am very busy and don't go out to places where I might potenially meet someone.

Allie · #22 01-12-2003, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
But seriously, I've been in a slump for a long time. However, a large part of it is that I am very busy and don't go out to places where I might potenially meet someone.

Amen! I am the same way! If I'm not at work I'm in class, then back to work, then home for dinner and homework. Some place in there I fit chapter meetings, time with the girls, and running errands. I told my friends that dating someone is just inconvienent for me right now with my schedule.

I also LOVE being single. If I go out there's nothing to worry about. I have friends who lives revolve around their bf's, Ugh it makes me so mad that that can't be independent. And that their one goal is to keep there boy happy.

On a side note my friend just broke up with her bf of over 3 years. She said she was lonely, so I took her pet shopping. She got a hampster to replace her bf, and I will say that the hampster is more friendly and a whole lot cuter.

sigmagrrl · #23 01-13-2003, 09:00 AM

I'd like to direct you to an article about the opportunities awaiting your Single Self:

http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/arti...th/single.html

I know that this period of not dating someone has been the best time of my life.

AXOLiz · #24 01-13-2003, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Betarulz!
Geo's tip for breaking the slump...

This works for either sex (I've seen it) and while some what horrible and disrespectful both to the other person and yourself, it's worked for friends of mine.

What you need to do is go find the ugliest/nerdiest/least desirable member of the opposite sex (the bigger the dud the better) and hook up with them...go as far as you would normally go with someone you were really into OR until you lose all respect for yourself - whichever comes first. For the guys this means that you sleep with your slumpbuster...girls, I have no idea how far they'll go, but my friend went all the way.

Do this once (I can't stress this enough) and within two weekends you'll be out of your slump. Probably has something to do with lowering of standards, or confidence or something on why it works. Why it works for guys also plays of the fact that as soon as a guy has hooked up with someone he immediatly gets more attention from other girls. It's like he sends off signals that yes, some girl has approved him and he's safe for all of them...

Anyway try it...it couldn't hurt

It's true. As much as I hate to admit it, it works, although from my experience, you don't have to hook up. For New Year's, I went out, had a few confidence-boosting drinks, dressed to the nines (but before I had the drinks, of course...

) and chatted up every guy in the place without paying attention to looks, age, etc. I wasn't looking for anything more than conversation- and Mardi Gras beads - and I ended up talking to/making out with/going out with some really cool guys. That one night gave me enough confidence in myself to start talking to guys that I find cute, funny, cool, etc.

I'd like to add a clause to the slumpbuster hooking up rule...don't do it with an ex. My friend was annoyed with her slump and ended up hooking up with her ex - and doing more than they had done when they were together - because she wanted ass and he was handing it out. After she got over the initial, "I got some," euphoria, she ended up feeling, well, desperate, which isn't exactly a confidence booster. While it ended up forcing her to realize that what she wanted was a relationship AND she has to go out and put forth effort to find a guy she would want to have a relationship with, I seriously doubt the hooking up was worth the disappointment it caused. But that's also tied into the original, "Only go as far as you would normally go," concept, as was stated in the tip. Had she found someone new, she wouldn't have gone as far AND probably would've come to the same conclusion about what she wants AND would've had more confidence and zero bad feelings.

TxTechCutie · #25 01-13-2003, 10:31 PM

I TOTALLY feel your pain! I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year when he got in to the school he's always wanted to go to, so being the good girlfriend I was (notice past tense) I dropped everything INCLUDING a full ride to St. Mary's in San Antonio to move up to Austin to stay together. Everything was wonderful until he started pledgeship and I decided to break up with him, during the 2 month duration. We were gonna get back together, but I kinda went a little umm...crazy when I found out he was seeing this other girl so needless to say...things didn't work out. But I've gone on dates with other guys and things just arn't the same. So I've decided to just be a single girl and have fun and not worry about the dating scene. I figure if the "right" guy comes along, he'll show up without me having to look for him.

annice22 · #26 01-13-2003, 10:51 PM

I'm going to go out this Thursday with some of friends and hopefully not run into any of the guys but that really impossible be Thursday night is party night here. I'm going to wear some of cute little clothes and have fun with my girls and have a blast and have fun all night and then go home and get ready for class the next day.

Hopefully I'll feel a little better

AGDPrincess70 · #27 01-13-2003, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

I beg to differ! I've wanted to get with a guy who I'm "just friends" with for years, but I'm afraid to do anything because I don't know if he feels the same way!

Any suggestions?

KSig RC · #28 01-14-2003, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AGDPrincess70

I beg to differ! I've wanted to get with a guy who I'm "just friends" with for years, but I'm afraid to do anything because I don't know if he feels the same way!

Any suggestions?

Seduce him?

-James
--oh shit this isn't the alter-egos thread . . .

White_Chocolate · #29 01-14-2003, 02:36 PM

After 'dating' a friend of mine, we finally decided to call it quits. basically, i was his girl but he had an attitude about him that made me want to hurl. . .and it was worse that we were 'kicking it' before we dated.
I love being single. I love going out by myself and meeting my friends at a bar. . .and flirting to see who can get the most numbers. I love to dress up so now, I shop for outing clothes. Dating is nothing but a crutch for people who can't deal with reality by themselves. Some people HAVE to have someone or they might kill themselves.

And then, there are the few who could give a holy nacho cheese dip if they have someone because they are too concerned with more important things in life . . .like what color do I want to get my toes painted next when I go to the spa or if I should have a mocha chiller before or after my spa appointment.

decisions. . .decisions. . .

You're only young once. . .

AXOLiz · #30 01-14-2003, 02:54 PM

I like being single, but at the same time, I've been single for pretty much my entire life and am getting to the point where I'd really like to be dating someone. I'm hesitant to use the word "boyfriend," since I don't want to be in one of those couples where you're glued at the hip, but I would like to have a guy in my life that I care about in a romantic way. I know a lot of girls who want a boyfriend so they can get engaged and married in the near future, but I know I'm way too young for that. I want to spend quality time going out with my friends AND have a boy to date regularly at the same time. I want to have the best parts of being single and the best parts of being in a relationship. It'd limit the number of guys I could pick up and all, but I don't do that all that much anyway.

I just hope I'll eventually find a guy that I genuinely like and care about as much as I like my friends, since until that happens, I don't want to sacrifice any of the fun times I have with them.