Quote:
Originally posted by IowaHawkeye
dear sister, unfprtunately OSU is no longer #1 in the BCS - Miami has that dubious honor this week by the slimmest of margins!
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I posted this on another thread...
Looks like it needs to be added to this forum as well...
BCS, College Football on
Verge of Complete Disaster
By NORMAN CHAD
AOL Exclusive
This is the time of season in which the BCS reaches a boiling point. And if either Miami (Fla.) or Ohio State loses before the end of the year -- a virtual certainty, my friends -- well, then, the BCS will boil over.
For we will have about 125 college football teams with one defeat, and even if America happens to be at war against Iraq, the BCS brouhaha will overshadow any Baghdad bombs.
Naturally, the whole thing will be decided by a computer.
Before we go any further, let's go over The Big Picture one more time, with feeling:
Should there be a national championship playoff format in college football? Yes.
Do we absolutely need a national championship playoff format in college football? No. (What we absolutely need is health care reform. And shorter lines at the post office.)
Also, before we go any further, please remember:
The BCS is pretty much just BS with a middle initial.
Anyway, absent of a playoff system -- which, incidentally, would not end all the current arguing and shouting, it would simply redirect the arguing and shouting to who's in and who's out -- we are left with the wonder and rapture that is the Bowl Championship Series.
The BCS rankings, as many of you sadly know, are a compilation of the average of the coaches poll and the Associated Press media poll, the average of seven computer evaluations, plus factoring in the variables of strength of schedule, quality victories and total number of defeats.
In other words, it would be easier to chart Drew Barrymore's relationship arcs than it would be to dissect the BCS formula.
The first BCS problem here are the human elements -- who can trust coaches or sportswriters?
Coaches have built-in biases, plus they don't watch too many games.
Sportswriters also have built-in biases, plus they're generally eating while watching too many games.
So when either group tries to tell me which are the nation's top teams, I'm inclined to tune these folks out and tune in to 'Father Knows Best' on Nick at Nite.
(This would be as good a time as any to address the angry e-mails I've received about AOL's own college football ranking, the mysterious and maligned Couch Slouch Eight. Some of the irate mob are missing the point. First and foremost, I'm just trying to have fun. Secondly, I'm just trying to show people that no one can really know who No. 1 or No. 2 or No. 22 is -- we're talking about teams in different parts of a very large country, facing vastly dissimilar schedules and usually not playing each other. It's like trying to decide if Catherine Deneuve or Catherine Zeta-Jones is a better actress -- well, maybe that's a bad example -- or if the Big Mac or the Whopper is a better burger. We all have varying tastes and opinions, and unless the teams or actresses or burgers in question meet in a postseason playoff -- preferably at a neutral field, screen or grill -- it's all conjecture and hot air.)
The second BCS problem here is the inhuman elements -- who can trust a computer, or don't you all remember the HAL 9000 in '2001: A Space Odyssey'?
Jeff Sagarin, my butt.
(These computer programmers are largely rumpled madmen sitting in the basement of their parents' home, alternating between reading data printouts and spitting out sunflower seeds.)
If we went by computer, the New York Mets would never get a chance to win the 1969 World Series and the Baltimore Ravens would never make it to Super Bowl XXXV. If we went by computer, the incomparable Steve Buscemi would be working as a street mime outside a Tallahassee, Fla., dinner theater.
Computers are good for two things -- Tetris and Minesweeper.
I would trust the bastard child of a personal injury lawyer and an insurance claims adjuster before I'd trust a computer.
(Computers? Computers? Please. I'll tell you how unreliable they are: A computer dating service led to my first marriage.)
Besides, on any given day a computer could have a virus, and the next thing you know, Cornell is ranked No. 3 in the nation.
So when Ohio State loses to Michigan this Saturday, or when Miami loses to Pittsburgh, Syracuse or Virginia Tech sometime soon, the nation will turn to Gateway and Dell, and, believe you me, somebody's computer server is going to crash trying to figure out the Bowl Chaos Series possibilities.
Me? I don't need a computer. I have a microwave and a blender -- and the firm belief that Duquesne is No. 1.
The Couch Slouch Eight
With Montana becoming the third consecutive No. 1 team in the Couch Slouch Eight to tumble from the unbeaten ranks, the inevitable finally transpired -- Duquesne now occupies the top spot. Are the Dukes Fiesta Bowl-bound? Of course not. More likely, they will be headed for the ECAC Bowl, despite recording four shutouts this season and outscoring their final five opponents 237-17.
Congratulations to running back Ian Smart of No. 4 C.W. Post, who scored four times in the Pioneers' 35-16 victory over Pace to set an NCAA career all-division record with 94 touchdowns.
Miami (Fla.) remains in its entrenched No. 8 position, after several lackluster practices during its bye week.
This week's Couch Slouch Eight:
1. Duquesne (11-0)
2. Dayton (10-1)
3. Ohio State (12-0)
4. C.W. Post (11-0)
5. Boise State (10-1)
6. Rutgers (1-9)
7. Miami (Ohio) (7-4)
8. Miami (Fla.) (9-0)
Others receiving votes: Maryland, Culinary Institute of America, McDonald's Hamburger University.
Heisman Watch
Our Heisman Trophy favorite, Hawaii's Timmy Chang, completed 35 of 64 passes for 369 yards as the Warriors won at Rice, 33-28. Chang had to shake off jet lag, the time-zone change and "mainland malaise," not to mention it was windy and chilly in Houston, plus, let me tell you, I've never done a good day's work myself in that God-forsaken city, so it was a steady, if unspectacular, Saturday for the sophomore sensation.
Meanwhile, our Heisman Trophy co-favorite, San Diego State's Adam Hall, was carted off the field with a concussion in the second quarter of the Aztecs'
49-21 loss to Colorado State, the victim of a facemask by linebacker Drew Wood. Hall had completed 11 of 15 passes for 120 yards and probably was en route to another 500-yard day. For the season, he has completed 272 of 452 passes for 3,253 yards and 17 touchdowns. "And the Heisman goes to Adam Hall!" Boy, that's got a good ring to it.
I hope my (80 plus year old) father has the sense to stay off the Columbus streets. But I wouldn't bet on it.
Linear Mode
