Tell me if this would bother you.

[greekalumna]

A good first step might be to just ask your chapter advisor what she would recommend that you do regarding reporting the other chapter to nationals.
As for what the other chapter president told you, what would you do if she had said, "suzie was caught kissing a boy" without specifying whether that young man was African-American, Asian, Caucasian, etc: Would you relay that information to the other members of your chapter or just chalk it up to gossip? Your decision on Suzie's action should not include the race of the young man in question (this sounds like what you were going to do anyway) and really what sister hasn't been guilty of kissing someone during their college career.

[LeslieAGD]

Ridiculous.

Just keep the comment to yourself and judge her on her own merit.

[Lady Pi Phi]

I'm a little confused as to why kissing a guy would be an issue at all...Regardless of the colour of his skin, what if she was dating this boy, or starting to date this boy...or just felt like kissing him for shits and giggles. It's not like she was caught having sex on the front lawn of the house...it was a kiss. The fact that she was "caught kissing" any boy...should never have been brought up at all, and most likely was only brought up because he was African-American. It's a shame that people still hold attitudes like this and I would hope you would hold your chapter to a higher standard, and I would hope that your chapter is enlightened enough to realize that this should never be an issue. I hope you affiliate this girl based on her character and her good standing.

[Jhawkalum]

I'm a little confused as to why kissing a guy would be an issue at all...Regardless of the colour of his skin, what if she was dating this boy, or starting to date this boy...

I have to agree -- this could have been a totally innocent situation, such as a guy dropping her off at the end of a date. If they were only kissing, it doesn't sound like she deserves to have her reputation trashed -- I think we've all seen people committ much more serious ofenses on buses to parties or at formals.

It sounds like this president was looking for a way to bring up the fact that she was dating a black man. Be glad that you're above her and can recognize this blatant racism. If someone made a comment like that to me, I would be doubting their intelligence and the prestige of their big university and chapter. Recieve this new member with open arms and be glad you've rescued her from her former small-minded sisters.

[Blue Violet]

I was trying to be discrete....but basically, having male company is OK, making out with said company in the living room-NOT ok.You could be brought up on standards for that-especially if you are in your letters or whatever.

I personally don't care about her guy's color. But if she was acting like a ho-bag well I do care about that.(I don't think thats the case though!) BUT I still can't believe the Prez said what she said.

[breathesgelatin]

gosh, i wonder what that chapter would say about the several great bi-racial women we have in my chapter.

some people never fail to astound me!

[Serenity]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I'm a little confused as to why kissing a guy would be an issue at all...Regardless of the colour of his skin, what if she was dating this boy, or starting to date this boy...or just felt like kissing him for shits and giggles.

I was gonna ask the same thing. But then I figured maybe all NPC sororities had some type rule for behavior like this in the house...like no kissing allowed. I don't know...LOL!

Blue Violet, I agree with everyone else about not telling the rest of your chapter about the comment. Which, BTW, I would take as the general sentiment of the other chapter since it came from the president. Like another poster said before, the call was sorority business, not personal. IMO, I think she wanted to make it clear that that type of behavior is not acceptable in her chapter. So, in case the same sentiment was true at your chapter, she wanted to pass along that little "tidbit" of information. I think that's why she said the girl was "technically" in good standing.

Anyway, if she's in good standing, all that should be done is for you and your sisters to decide whether she'll be a good fit for your chapter. Good luck!

[milaspr97]

Originally posted by Blue Violet

I personally don't care about her guy's color. But if she was acting like a ho-bag well I do care about that.(I don't think thats the case though!) BUT I still can't believe the Prez said what she said.

That is true...if she was not being a lil lady like that ok...but what the president said ..she was totally out of order.

[pinkyphimu]

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
So, just so I'm clear on the matter, the consenous here is to just sweep it under the rug, and act like it didn't happen or doesn't matter?

i don't think anyone is saying to pretend like that girl didn't make the comment. instead of giving that info to the chapter to aid in the decision of whether to allow her to affiliate, we are suggesting that she keep it to herself....and bring the info to her advisor and her national's attention. the other women in her chapter do not need the info.


blue violet,
"I was trying to be discrete....but basically, having male company is OK, making out with said company in the living room-NOT ok.You could be brought up on standards for that-especially if you are in your letters or whatever."

is this a chapter rule or a national rule? i am in shock that you could be brought to standards for kissing someone in the living room!! and i can't imagine that it should make any difference whether you are in letters or not. i completely agree that if they were having sex in the living room, then that would not be appropriate, but i really don't feel that it is any business of the chapter that she would be going to!!! i am glad that you decided not to bring your chapter's attention, however, i wish you would reconsider telling your national org about the incident.

[phisigsigchic]

OMG! I would have BLOWN UP at that girl. Who in the hell does she think she is? It is sad to see that in the year 2002, we still have people like that who are in CHARGE of a whole chapter of women. Now, as for the other girl, let her in and get to know her. Obviously, she doesn't agree with the rest of the chapter. Being in a bi-racial relationship myself (I am Latina, my boyfriend is black), I get very offended if anyone of my sisters were to say that about me. But to them we are just another couple. You could maybe talk to this girl about what the president said and get the low down. And honestly, TELL YOUR NATIONAL! I am so sure they would love to know that a president of one of their oldest chapters is one racist prejudice jerk (I could say a whole lot more ) Because action needs to be taken. If they have a problem with a sister just KISSING someone of another race, what would they think about girls from other races rushing? (I can take a wild guess that their chapter is NOT diverse). While my chapter lacked diversity as well, they were always looking for other girls (its just hard to get them since they join traditional black, latina, or asian sororities). And when they met me, they welcomed me with open arms. My origin was not an issue. And thats how you guys have to be. Because it sounds to me like you guys are obviously much better and above that other chapter.

[Optimist Prime]

If I had a racist chapter I would want to know about it.

[Blue Violet]

Hmmm, without giving it away, a girl at the that "Single letter chapter" -who EVERY body loves, is the daughter of a national officer. Triple legacy or something.So, I am guessing national has a clue.

[IvySpice]

National knows that the president of this chapter is running it in a racist fashion and isn't doing anything about it?

Don't they realize just how bad that's going to blow up in their faces?

Remember what happened to the chapter I won't name at an SEC school which allegedly discussed a PNM's race while deciding to cut her? Maybe it really happened, maybe it didn't, but the chapter got gigantic, national bad press over the incident. The New York Times had "All-white sorority keeps black girl out" headlines the next day...and they DID print the GLO's name.

When this single-letter chapter makes a tiny slip and reveals its racist core to the outside world, they're going to have CNN setting up shop on their front lawn. Only this time, the accusation will be true...and it may bring the chapter down.

Ivy

[Blue Violet]

Ivy-I know exactly which chapter you were referring to and even with the bad press they got, They have made quota or more every year, they are still on campus, they are still going strong.That bad press did not affect their intake one little bit.National made them go to a sensitivity seminar or some crap. Look at your BIG schools. How many non-whites do you see? When I look at my national website and click on the links to other chapter-they all have their newest new member class picture on it. Count how many girls aren't white. You will not run out of fingers.

[DigitalAngel126]

I don't give a flying f*(|< what anyone says, Miss Prez was in the wrong. How ridiculous...She was caught kissing a black guy. FUCK THAT. Sorry to be so volitale, but racism is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves... My step father is racist like a mofo and I had to move out of his house because of it..I couldn't handle being around that much ignorance and stupidity. It is VERY disturbing to me that this disgrace is a chapter president, Do they think no one will find out that they are the way they are? Especially when someone is so loose-lipped to say something like she said to you!!! I'll stop myself before I get too passionate and start offending people, but seriously...what an idiot!!! Maybe she's inbred???