"When I have kids..." - Page 2

AlphaSigLana · #16 10-24-2002, 03:37 PM

CarolinaCutie-- I'm with you-- I have baby fever too! Luckily I have a cute 18 month old nephew to old me over until Mr. Right comes along. Even though babies are cute, I'm worried about when they are teenagers bc I put my mom through 5 yrs of hell.

valkyrie · #17 10-24-2002, 03:57 PM

As for my answer...I have to say I agree with UKAXO. I have just never wanted kids, and everybody has always told me that it would change when I got older. Well, I'm older and it hasn't changed, I just have zero desire for kids. If in a few years that changes, cool, but I would never have more than one (unless I had twins or something), and I really don't think it will change. I don't even really like kids -- I mean, older kids are okay but I don't like babies *at all* -- I never have. Yeeek.

lovelyivy84 · #18 10-24-2002, 04:13 PM

I want kids, eventually. I love children.

If I get married I will have kids. If not, then no kids- I was raised in a single parent home, and while I love my mother and think she did the best job she could do while working two jobs to make ends meet, it is not a situation that I would choose to bring a child into. If I have kids it'll be in a two parent situation.

I do not foresee myself ever undergoing the expensive and time consuming fertility treatments. There are so many wonderful black and hispanic children in the system with no one to love them that I actually really want to adopt. I would like to have a child of my own body, yes. But if I can't I won't be too broken up about it personally.

lol, my boy Ted made the comment that if/when I have kids they will be eerily good with warped senses of humour. That West Indian discipline is NO JOKE (although I will not beat my children). I could almost feel a bit sorry for them- I am fair, but strict.

librasoul22 · #19 10-24-2002, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
As for my answer...I have to say I agree with UKAXO. I have just never wanted kids, and everybody has always told me that it would change when I got older. Well, I'm older and it hasn't changed, I just have zero desire for kids. If in a few years that changes, cool, but I would never have more than one (unless I had twins or something), and I really don't think it will change. I don't even really like kids -- I mean, older kids are okay but I don't like babies *at all* -- I never have. Yeeek.

Gawd valkyrie. Have you rented my brain, or what?

I am NOT having kids...and I don't really think that is a bad thing. I just don't think the world is ready for another little librasoul, lol.

bucutie02 · #20 10-24-2002, 05:11 PM

I think I am so ready to be a mom! I want to get married and have kids. The whole nin yards! Of course, i would want to finish my education and then get married.

I love kids, and cant wait to have my own. I work at a montessori school so i see children all the time. I will say though, i wouldnt want to work with children and have my own at the same time. When i have kids- i want to stay home with them!

I really wouldnt mind being married and having a child right now, and im 22!!!

xo_kathy · #21 10-24-2002, 05:17 PM

When I have kids, as I am thinking I will someday...I will never use the term "playdate". I HATE it! Just my $.02

RedRoseSAI · #22 10-24-2002, 05:36 PM

There are so many reasons why I don't want kids right now.

I cringe when I see babies. I get exasperated when I hear whining toddlers. I feel pity for all the moms that I see wearing stained sweatsuits, frizzy hair, and bags under their eyes. Gee...they look so happy...motherhood must be just the greatest thing.

I'm not ready to go through the discomfort of pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, and the sacrifice that follows. I'm not ready to lose my identity and relegate myself to a routine of sleepless nights, dirty diapers, feeding, burping, etc..

I've heard people say that motherhood is wonderful. I don't get it. I don't know if I ever will. Occasionally I think about the freedom and the comfort my husband and I have, and how that would be destroyed if we had a child. I'm still in my selfish phase, and I'm not interested in giving up my lifestyle for a baby.

If that makes me coldhearted, so be it. Perhaps I'll change my mind when I hit my early 30s. I can definitely see us with a family, but not anytime soon, that's for damn sure!

Dionysus · #23 10-24-2002, 05:52 PM

Hell to the NO!

Going through the wrong time of the month is too much for me.
I can't even imagine going through labor. Morning sickness, uh no.
Changing sh*tty diapers and cleaning up vomit, NO WAY! Putting my life on the hold to take care of little midgets, you got to be kidding.

BUT, having little Dionysuses running around, priceless.

Dunno, hard decision.

If I was a guy, I would say hell yes! I would have the b*tch barefooted and pregant! I would see how many children I can make. (you all know I'm totally joking)

And for those that recieved the news that you are infertile, look on the bright side. You can screw around all you want without worrying about having rugrats popping out you.

swissmiss04 · #24 10-24-2002, 06:21 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dionysus
And for those that recieved the news that you are infertile, look on the bright side. You can screw around all you want without worrying about having rugrats popping out you.

[/B][/QUOTE

Somehow I don't think that would be much consolation for someone who really did want children, or were unsure about it. I want kids but may be unable to have them, and I don't know how I feel about adoption considering so many of my adopted friends had psychological difficulties especially during adolescence. I have a few years to decide how I feel.

valkyrie · #25 10-24-2002, 06:53 PM

LOL libra! The problem is, it would be to the great benefit of the world for awesome people like us to reproduce. Oh well...

Optimist Prime · #26 10-24-2002, 07:05 PM

Who doesn't have psychological problems during adolesence?

Fewdfreak · #27 10-25-2002, 01:56 AM

Ever since I was little I never really wanted kids. When we played house, I never liked taking care of the dolls. Kids, I don't like them. When I am in stores and hear kids crying, sometimes I just want to yell "Someone shut that kid up" even though you really can't. The reasons I don't want kids? First of all, the woman has to be the one to take care of it, has to carry the kid, change it most of the time, and if I were to have a kid, and then get a divorce or whatever, I would be the one that had to be stuck with the kid. I seriously would be like "Ex-hubby, YOU take the kid, it was your sperm!" Secondly, I would have to put my life on hold, it may seem selfish to some who don't share my view, but I am my priority, I don't go out of my way to make others happy, or try and please people, it's just too much work, I do what is good for me, and if I had a kid, I'd have to tend to their needs, and it would get in the way of my perogative. I'm by no means narcissistic or anything, I'm nice, not selfish, etc... buy my career is/needs to be first and foremost. This is what I value. Not to be offensive or anything, but I see so many girls out there willing to settle with men they don't like, or have kids and give it all up, if you really, truly love the child, then more power to you, but I'm not one of these women, I can't understand why one would want to voluntarily have a child, but I applaud those who do, because they often turn out to be the best parents, my parents are the greatest ever, they were just meant to have me and my sister. I'm not like that, I don't like kids. I'm lucky that I have two friends who share this view, (we used to joke that we were the Schopenhauer cult) one is a guy, and wanted to get a vasectomy, and they told him he had to be 21, and the other is a girl, who, like me, is unrelenting in the fact that we do not want children.

I babysat for two years, and my mom thought that it would change me to "like" kids, no, it didn't. They were just a job to me. When people have kids, and everyone is ooohing, and ahhing, I kinda just go with the flow and am like "Yeah, cute, nice, bet you will really like him when he hits the terrible twos." I'm very much detached from kids, and hopefully I will never have any. Although I am only 19, I don't think my views will change much.

juniorgrrl · #28 10-25-2002, 08:40 AM

I'm not ready for kids right now, but eventually, I would like to have them.

My boyfriend and I have talked about our future family and we are both in agreement on having 2, maybe 3 kids. We are both in awe at the idea of how sharing yourself with someone you love can make another person. Its pretty amazing when you think about it

He's great with kids, I'm pretty good with them, too. He's the youngest and I'm an only child, so we've had our whole lives to be selfish. We don't want kids right away, we'd like some time after we get married to enjoy being with each other. But 5, 7 years from now...

Munchkin03 · #29 10-25-2002, 09:02 AM

I've noticed a lot of people saying, "I may be interested in having children when I get older"...or something along those lines. What exactly is "older"? 25? 30? 45? Is it when you're out of school and established in a career? Is it when you've done all of your "irresponsible youth" stuff?

I definitely want kids, although I understand the people who don't. I'm the youngest, and I've had quite a while to be self-centered. I would like to be established in a career, which I don't see happening for a while. I'm thinking somewhere around 30, where I'm somewhat established in my career, in a stable marriage, and somewhat financially secure (meaning I have a savings established).

carnation · #30 10-25-2002, 09:06 AM

Hey, I do want to warn you guys about waiting too long to start attempts to conceive. This has been in the media a lot lately--how even waiting until 30 may be too late for some people. I waited until almost 29 to have my first and got lucky. Many of my closest friends waited that long and were never able to conceive.