Pledging by Non-Citizens

[GoldenAnchor]

My alma mater has a pretty big International population (~15-20%) so there are a lot of those students in greek life. There were at least 2-3 in a chapter any given year. My husband was born in one country, raised in another, and a citizen of yet another and we met through our respective chapters. The biggest difference for him was slang, a good portion of the common slang used in his secondary school was offensive here in the states. It took some time and “light bullying” (his words) to adapt to American culture.

[Titchou]

I advised a chapter in FLorida that had several members originally from Central and South America. Most had been in the US since they were small children so were adapted to American culture

[DGTess]

My pledge class had a sister that was an American citizen but had not lived in the US until she attended college. Her father was a diplomat and she was raised in China and Vietnam. Culturally, she adapted exactly as everyone else, but then, all but one person in my chapter was a first-generation greek.

[AnchorAlum]

Our chapter had two members who had been Cuban refugees as little children and became citizens. We also had a Canadian sister. This was of course in the late 60's/early 70's and it wasn't even thought of as a big deal. They were just three great girls who were good members and representatives of our chapter. End of story.

[Titchou]

Serious question: Why would you not delete your own account?

[33girl]

If this is your cheery disposition, I’d hate to see you when you’re cranky.

Also, I don’t think you understand what a tantrum is.

But at any rate, buh bye.

[Kevin]

I'm not sure why you'd want to discontinue your participation here. You've contributed a great deal in a short period of time. It just seems as if you really don't understand how to communicate with people outside of your bubble, which is a problem in U.S. civil discourse of late. Many of your queries, e.g., why HBGLOs place an emphasis on being incorporated could have been solved with a pretty simple search. In other cases, e.g., that you thought there was a discussion to be had about why Sigma Chi should be shut down for something which maybe happened 12 years ago, I don't think you really thought the question through and may have erred in judgment.

I've also noted that early on, you thought some language, i.e., calling Democrats some sort of perjorative was acceptable. While that may be exactly what you refer to Democrats with in the closed circles you communicate in, that you would think using such language in a place like GC where viewpoints are diverse is beyond me. There are Republicans, Trump supporters, Biden supporters, Democrats, who all interact here without the level of vitriol that you inspire.

You'd benefit from having conversations, even tough ones, with people you disagree with. Learn to take an F-U in stride. If you're going to light these fuses, don't expect the moderators to help you deal with things when the attached bombs explode.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by Kevin

It just seems as if you really don't understand how to communicate with people outside of your bubble, which is a problem in U.S. civil discourse of late. Many of your queries, e.g., why HBGLOs place an emphasis on being incorporated could have been solved with a pretty simple search. In other cases, e.g., that you thought there was a discussion to be had about why Sigma Chi should be shut down for something which maybe happened 12 years ago, I don't think you really thought the question through and may have erred in judgment.

I've also noted that early on, you thought some language, i.e., calling Democrats some sort of perjorative was acceptable. While that may be exactly what you refer to Democrats with in the closed circles you communicate in, that you would think using such language in a place like GC where viewpoints are diverse is beyond me. There are Republicans, Trump supporters, Biden supporters, Democrats, who all interact here without the level of vitriol that you inspire.

You'd benefit from having conversations, even tough ones, with people you disagree with. Learn to take an F-U in stride. If you're going to light these fuses, don't expect the moderators to help you deal with things when the attached bombs explode.

Mic Drop

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If you're going to light these fuses, don't expect the moderators to help you deal with things when the attached bombs explode.

This is ultimately what it boils down to. He's trying to start arguments and get people riled up, and then he plays dumb and innocent when things blow up.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

This is ultimately what it boils down to. He's trying to start arguments and get people riled up, and then he plays dumb and innocent when things blow up.

I work with lots of victims of domestic violence, and that right there is an abusive tactic called gaslighting. Pushing someone's buttons 'til they go ballistic, then convincing them that they are the nutball.

It's a tactic employed by narcicists and internet trolls--and it's not a tactic that they consciously employ, it comes natural to them. It is how they communicate with others.

But I also leave room for maybe there's a cultural issue, maybe there's a Spectrum issue. I try not to assume that everyone is awful and I'm happy to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It seems he probably communicates within a bubble. He says things which one would never say in diverse company. So again, I leave the door open to the possibility that he just doesn't have the skillset to communicate with folks from different backgrounds.

I have to give the benefit of the doubt because I remember who I was about 20 years ago. I'm sure some of y'all do too.

[ChioLu]

I don’t know how many international students went through recruitment at UCLA this year, but it’s usually a couple of dozen. And those students have great success in recruitment. Chi Omega usually has at least one international new member each pledge class.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

I don’t know how many international students went through recruitment at UCLA this year, but it’s usually a couple of dozen. And those students have great success in recruitment. Chi Omega usually has at least one international new member each pledge class.

The University of Chicago also likely has international students with successful recruitments, but GC has no regular UofC members to help glean stats. Or do we?

[Titchou]

I agree that he doesn't seem to understand social conventions so it could be a spectrum issue or just a difference in cultures. He could use some good old southern etiquette classes. He obviously didn't attend cotillion in middle school.

[AnchorAlum]

Originally Posted by Titchou

I agree that he doesn't seem to understand social conventions so it could be a spectrum issue or just a difference in cultures. He could use some good old southern etiquette classes. He obviously didn't attend cotillion in middle school.

Hmm. Being a Southern girl, I have to say it's obvious to me that he's not the only one in this forum who didn't go to Cotillion.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlum

Hmm. Being a Southern girl, I have to say it's obvious to me that he's not the only one in this forum who didn't go to Cotillion.

I already knew that - or maybe they flunked it!