Unsuccessful rush? - Page 2

Eve · #16 09-23-2002, 08:50 PM

I'm not going to name my school until the dust has settled. I'm sure none of you would know it anyway.

As for the issue of being in fifth year and them wondering about my marks, no worries there. They know what program I am in and it is HARD to get into so they know what my marks must be like. The thing about my program that might be a turn-off though is that girls already in a sorority who join my program often scale down their involvement A LOT due to the work-load.

Honestly, I may be biting off more than I can chew anyway. I did my first girl scout meeting tonight (I'm a new leader), I'm on the student council for my program (in a minor position, but still it is a responsability) and I have 4 1/2 hours of school and 6 hours of homework every day.

But I do really want to give this my best and I'd be willing to maybe let a few other things slide (other than school of course) in order to do it.

I am thinking about calling my Rho Chi to ask why I was dropped. If it was just about my age or a concern about my available time to contribute I will try the snap bid or a COB. But if it was my personality I'd kind of like to know so I can just call it quits. I don't know what the protocol is though, can I ask that question?

Thanks for your help.
~Eve

maggieaxid · #17 09-23-2002, 09:00 PM

Your Rho Chi won't be able to tell you why you were dropped. She will only be able to speculate. Voting/Selection processes are secret and they don't normally let out why someone was cut.

Eve · #18 09-23-2002, 09:08 PM

So in other words I shouldn't bother asking?

What if I get a snap bid, what hapens then? I got cut before any dues were mentioned and before we were given the breakdown of what happens with them and before I'd accept I would want to know that stuff.

I'd also want to ask why they were offering me a spot now after dropping me. I know well enough not to ask why they dropped me in the first place, but I think I'd want to know what made them give me a second chance. If it was because they actually liked me and they made the wrong choice dropping me I'd be okay with coming back. But if not, if it's just about making quota, well, that would really genuinely make it the "buy a friend" club my geek-friends have nicknamed it.

Then again I don't even know how common snap bids are here so maybe I'm fretting about nothing.

~Eve

aephi alum · #19 09-23-2002, 10:49 PM

Eve,

Rho Chis are completely disaffiliated from their sororities during rush, so they aren't privy to even their own chapters' discussion and voting. If your PX is a good one, she'll take the time to chat with you, but she won't be able to tell you why you were cut.

If you are offered a snap bid or COB bid, you'll have the opportunity to talk to the sorority's treasurer to discuss financial issues before you make your decision... if you're offered a bid, call her.

As for why you were dropped, sometimes great women fall through the cracks... it's unfortunate but it happens. Don't let it get to you... just hold your head high, and pursue informal rush or alumna initiation, whichever is appropriate.

texas*princess · #20 09-24-2002, 03:52 PM

I've noticed that in this thread, and others I have read, time is a big thing to some NPC sororities (i.e. they see how many other organizations the rushee is involved with, etc.)

Do the NPC houses take the number of organizations a rushee is in, in a positive light (ex. "Wow this girl can really manage her time taking 12 hours of school, working part time and being invloved in these other organizations") or do they kind of "look down" on it (ex. Well since she is this major, she will be spending way too much time doing homework, or since she is in those other organizations, she won't have time for us")?

I've always wondered that, not having gone through NPC recruitment myself.

FuzzieAlum · #21 09-24-2002, 04:01 PM

I've never heard any sister say a PNM was too involved in school/extracurricular activities. It's usually the PNM who is worried about having the time.

justamom · #22 09-24-2002, 04:38 PM

Eve, I would like to offer a different slant on this thread.
You were cut and you feel bad. It has happened to so many, please know you are in the company of some wonderful young women. Will you ever know WHY? I would tend to think not. On the surface I would agree with the possibility of confusion over your status and then, the age difference between you and other freshmen girls. I really want to know WHY you wanted to be in a sorority. Was it for sisterhood? Was it to see what it's all about?
Most (not all) women going through recruitment are DYING to be in a sorority and that emotion along with the giddiness of being a freshman is a very energetic quality. Maybe the actives couldn't read that in you.

Are you in a town with a Junior League or Junior Forum? Many are now on a volunteer basis. This too is like a sisterhood-just no mixers or exchanges with the Rotary or Young Men's Business Club!

Another good source if you aren't 22 is Big Bothers and Big Sisters. BOTH the League andBB/BS will take you far in the business world and because there aren't any specific letters attached, it will set you up socially as well. I wouldn't sit around worrying about the "whys" of this, I would find something else that suits your age and educational status better. Of course as pointed out, seeking alum status in a sorority could work as well, but sometimes it's good to look at the bigger picture. Being exposed to people your age and OLDER will do far more for you at this point in your life. Like Greek life, they are demanding of your time, it takes serious commitment but rewards you every day of your life.

maggieaxid · #23 09-24-2002, 05:31 PM

JAM- You are so wise!

CarolinaCutie · #24 09-24-2002, 09:51 PM

... The Junior League... reminds me of The Southern Belle Primer or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma... too precious.

But JAM's advice is indeed very wise. There are plenty of organizations out there!

sweetie adpi · #25 09-24-2002, 10:45 PM

junior league reminds me of the ya ya's...

"that's so junya leeeg" -- hehehehe

mmcat · #26 09-24-2002, 10:56 PM

you are so good.
seriously sweetie...
you already have figured it out. there's tons to do out there.
sure, try cob.
but you know, as a bud tells me, you are a free agent. there's a whole lot of world looking for helpers and that bond is huge.
do what you heart tells you to, and guess what, you'll be ok.
lol

aggieAXO · #27 09-25-2002, 01:39 AM

Eve,

I am sorry you had a disappointing time with rush

. I was in graduate school the second year I was in my sorority and found that I had no time for my sisters or the sorority at all. I can't imagine being a pledge during that time period as pledges have a great deal of things to do every week (at least we did). I guess another good question to ask if you were to COB is all the requirements of a pledge and then realistically look at your program and see if you can devote enough time to both. Good luck with your decision.

Eve · #28 09-25-2002, 07:01 AM

Someone asked why I wanted to be in a sorority and why another group wouldn't do. I am involved in a lot of other social groups and have been off and on for years. But I don't think any other group develops the closeness of a sorority, nor do they have as much in common with each other. Sure I'm a little older than the other girls, but we'd still have more in common than I do with the other scout leaders (who all range from being old enough to have children in scouts to old enough to have children MY age). And the other clubs on campus are focused such that you get together to do some activity and then you go home, you don't get to know each other beyond that common interest.

So that's why I am interested in sorority life. It's not the parties, it's not really the philanthropy, I could throw my own parties and do my own volunteer work. It's about having someone (or rather a lot of someones) to share it all with.

~Eve

RosmaPomia · #29 09-25-2002, 12:01 PM

Eve,
I am so sorry that it didn't work out with recruitment. Recruitment is a very stressful time and with larger schools many great girls get lost in the shuffle. JAM's advice is great. I would like to encourage you to try to look beyond the age thing with girl scouts. I too am a young troop leader but I found that the age is only an issue if you make it an issue.
Please don't let yourself feel as though you aren't a beautiful accomplished woman because of recruitment. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL ACCOMPLISHED WOMAN.