Read before rushing...

[BUpibeta]

I'm amazed that no one has responded to what DeltaBetaBaby posted at the origin of this topic. As I read what was posted, my mouth literally dropped open. It is embarrassing that these poor HS girls are reading this, and knowing no better, believe what you say.

This is the first thing I do not agree w/.
<<1. Never say do anything in front of a Rho Chi that you would not do at a party. RC's are supposed to disaffiliate, but in many cases they do NOT. If you say or do something that offends her, the chapter WILL find out. The same goes for Panhellenic officers.>>

I go to a private Southern school where Rush is EXTREMELY competitive, cut throat, etc., yet I have never heard of nor have I experienced this kind of deception through a Rho Chi. Rho Chi's are supposed to be someone that the rushees can trust when they cant trust anyone else. It's difficult to talk to other potential members about rush because who knows who they talk to, and during silence you aren't supposed to talk to anyone except for immediate family members. Rho Chi's are the only ones who have the ability to give an unbiased opinion to rushees. My Rho Chi's were amazing, and I felt like I could talk to them about anything. They gave awesome, unbiased advice, and I don't think potential members should be told to distrust them. And Dianne, it is an embarrassment to Panhellenic that you have already figured out how to cheat the system and the new girls trust by talking to your friend who is a Rho Chi. I can't believe you are actually bragging about that.

Problem # 2.
<<4. When asked what you did over the summer, talk about something other than your part-time job. Chapters are looking for women who can make a financial commitment, and, unfortunatley, part-time jobs may sound as though you can not. If you went on any sort of vacation, that is a much better topic, even if it was one week and your job was three months. >>

Are you kidding me? So if you have a job you aren't financially capable of being in a sorority??? That is such a stereotype that is being continued thru an ignorant statement such as that. So basically what you are saying is that if you don't have daddy's money paying for everything, and have no responsibility for yourself, you cannot be a sister w/ us. Just disgraceful. My parents have instilled responsibility in me since the age of 16. I had my first job then, and my parents are very well off. I have never "needed" to work, yet it gives me a sense of accomplishment and worth. My parents do not cater to my every need, and I have had a full time job every summer since I was legally allowed to. I would think that someone w/ a job would be MORE able to pay the dues than someone who did not. Also, I would think that responsibility is a character trait you would want in a member of your chapter. Because of my job experience, I now have the ability to juggle many things at once. This will enable me to be an awesome intramural chair next year. I could go on and on about this, but I will stop now. I just think it is a disgrace to tell girls they should have to hide the fact that they work. To put it simply, that is just ridiculous.

If I was not a member of the greek system and read these posts, I would laugh first of all and then thank the Lord that was not something I was a part of.

We need to respect people for who they are and what kind of character they have... not anything else.

Sarah

[TinkerbellMTSU]

I have to agree with Sarah about the the job thing. By choice, not need, I volunteered at a Girl Scout camp at 14, taking care of horses (yes, this means shoveling horsey doo-doo). Ever since then I have had jobs (mostly in the summer, some during school). My mother gave me an allowance, but I chose to get a job so I could learn responsibility, build a resume, and have more money, thus more freedom to buy and do things that I wanted.
This past summer I worked at a Girl Scout camp, and I don't see why I should have to hide this. I was underpaid, and if I'd cared about making even more money, I could have worked 40hrs/week retail or restaraunt. Instead I chose to be a role-model to younger girls, and it was an enriching, though not always easy experience. I even got a certification in First Aid/CPR there.
I don't see why I should be ashamed of this. It shows that I have the will to help others, and goals in life as well. I wouldn't want to be in a sorority with girls who think that it's okay to live off of other people's money for the rest of their lives, anyhow.
To think that some people graduate from college and don't even know how to write a resume! I began writing a resume at age 12 that included my babysitting experience!!! LOL maybe I can make some money in college helping people write their resumes!

Sorry, I'm just rambling now...


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***Tinkerbell***

~~~Don't worry, be happy!~~~

[Angelic]

I would also have to agree about the job thing. Last year during rush I was talking to one of the rushees during an event. We were talking about summer jobs and I asked her if she had worked this past summer. Her response was 'Nope. I have never worked a day in my life.' To me this shows lack of responibility and initiative. Not the fact that she hadn't had a job but because she was so proud that she hadn't. But this girl was wierd to begin with..during house tours her pager went off and she picked up a girls phone in the house and called her friend back!!!

[veruca76]

Okay, I actually do know of houses on my campus where girls were told to ask what you did that summer and evaluate it in terms of: summer job=poor vs. trips to europe=well off. They would also try to judge how expensive your haircut, shoes and watch (don't wear one) are. However, this was actually one of the weaker houses on campus. Someone made this point before, I don't know who. But often times it the weaker houses trying to boost their image that play games like this whereas the stronger houses are looking for more important things.

[Liv4ChiO]

Well, I have a summer job, work during the school year, and am jetting of to Italy next Friday, what does that make me? What you do in your spare time is no judge of your monetary worth. Being on scholarship doesn't mean you need them, and working part time doesn't mean you're poor. I like having the extra spending money, the job market is super competitive now, and my work is interesting! If you want, you WILL find a way to pay dues, it is possible! I should know, I pay for mine, and still have enough to indulge my shoe fetish.

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Travelling with no boundaries, moving in imaginary.

[Tom Earp]

Hells Bells from a male! I was a soda jerk, grease monkey, mopped and waxed floors, lumped semi trailers, built combines, and worked at a chemical company!
I had to pay to get to college!!! My Daddy told me Boy, you can work and get a car and work, or you can work and go to college!
I took the later! DA!
Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, I was born with wit a wooden paddle on my butt!
NEVER, NEVER be embaressed by what you are! If you do, then YOU embaress Yourself. If you look at many important people they grew up on the wrong side of the tracks! They became important people that run the every day life of us all. I grew up on the tracks! I will never rue the things that I have done in my life as they are my prints on the world that I live in! I hope you have the same good luck that I have had in my life time!

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Tom Earp LX Z#1
Pittsburg State U. (Kansas)

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Okay, guys, I stand corrected on the part about summer jobs. Although there are houses that will see this negatively, those are probably chapters you don't want to be a part of anyhow. At one house, when I said I worked all summer, it was followed up with "really? what do your parents do for a living?" which is a question no rushee should ever have to answer.

As a side note, though, other vacations, etc. may just happen to be a more interesting conversation topic.

On the other hand, I stand behind what I said about the Rho Chis. If you come into your rush group talking about getting drunk, hooking up, or anything else you shouldn't be doing, don't think that your rho chi won't tell the chapter. If you bash a house in front of your rho chi (which you shouldn't be doing anyway), and it happens to be her house, you can be damn sure you won't be invited back.

This is not some terrible betrayal on the part of the rho chi's, it is just how things are. She has the right to speak up if she really does not feel you should be in her house.

[Harmony]

Just remembering some tips:

1) Try not to mention names in conv.
Ex-my big was telling me about this girl who was rushing my sorority and was telling her all about this guy John Doe in XYZ fraternity who she was in love with and was so excited we did a lot of stuff w/ them because she really wanted to snag him. Unfortunately, John Doe was my big's b/f of 3 years. Yeah...needless to say, she didn't recieve any more invitations back.

2) Some excellent advice I recieved before I rushed was to notice your surroundings. Girls in each house are going to tell you the same things...we do all these wonderful philanthropies, we're very diverse, etc etc etc. WHile they're all true, actions speak louder than words. Look around at how the sisters treat each other. DO they all smile at each other or are they shooting each other nasty glares when they brush past? Do they offer to help another sister out who may be passing out drinks or the such or do they just let her struggle an ask for help? Stuff like that. It was really great advice.

3) DO NOT drop out just because the sorority of your dreams cuts you!!! You WILL end up in the right place if you play by the rules. You may be devestated, but just pick yourself up and go back to the houses that asked you back. They see something awsome in you, so look for whats awsome about them, too.

[AlphaChiGirl]

I'm glad the issue of jobs has been cleared up. I had written a post, but my server got nutty and I wasn't able to send it. What I was going to say was that in my chapter, we look favorably upon girls who work during the summer, and especially during the school year. We have Deferred Recruitment, and by the time it rolls around, a semester has passed and most girls are familiar enough with their academic/financial situation and if they're willing to take on the added financial burden, we're more than willing to call them our sister. Part of it's just the school I go to. Tuition, room, board, and all that costs a grip, and it's pretty hard NOT to find someone who did AT LEAST an internship over the summer. Most of our girls work during the summer, and about 75%work during the school year. I don't think I'd want to be in a sorority with women who judged me on how I spent my summer, using that information to decide whether or not I can pay to be a member.

One thing I definitely feel is important is personal appearance...and I'm not talking about dress. I know that during the school year, I saw a lot of girls running around sloppy drunk, hooking up with guys left and right, and being really idiotic in discussion sections (flirting with TAs, etc). They didn't do so well in Rush, because by the time it rolled around, they had fairly bad reputations.

The advice for women going through Deferred Rush is a lot different from that for those going through "traditional" Rush. Maybe over Winter Break, we can come up with some additional advice?

[lilbittynikki12]

I'm a bit worried about something. I am really looking at rushing Kappa Delta but the only thing that I am worried about is I used to hang out at this certain fraternity and well I kinda dated this one guy there and well things turned pretty bad between us and I am hoping that the KD girls that I hung out with there won't let that affect their decions of me when I'm rushing.