Say something nice or nothing at all! - Page 2

xyratia · #16 07-11-2001, 05:50 PM

I was a pretty good girl in high school. I never drank, did drugs, or slept around. I went to college and lived in an apartment. I had a "temporary lapse in judgement" when it came to boys. I wasn't promiscuous, but was very gullible. Needless to say, my name is somewhat slandered. I am still a good person with a remarkably good gpa, a good personality, and I get along with everybody. Still, I'm worried that when I got through rush this fall I will have problems because of rumors that got out of control. And I'm afraid that if I do get a bid, the rumors will come back to haunt me anyway. I think everybody should keep an open mind--people can change.

xyratia · #17 07-11-2001, 05:51 PM

I was a pretty good girl in high school. I never drank, did drugs, or slept around. I went to college and lived in an apartment. I had a "temporary lapse in judgement" when it came to boys. I wasn't promiscuous, but was very gullible. Needless to say, my name is somewhat slandered. I am still a good person with a remarkably good gpa, a good personality, and I get along with everybody. Still, I'm worried that when I got through rush this fall I will have problems because of rumors that got out of control. And I'm afraid that if I do get a bid, the rumors will come back to haunt me anyway. I think everybody should keep an open mind--people can change.

33girl · #18 07-11-2001, 08:07 PM

Re worried senior's comment about buying into the package, I always say that something every chapter needs in rush, more than a good skit or cool house, is someone with an incredibly well-tuned bullsh** detector. Some people should be theater majors and don't even know it.

Also what is "moral" and what is not depends on the campus....some places, if you've slept with one guy, you're a whore because you're not a virgin. I don't want to get into a big moral discussion so I'll just say this: look at the girl in your chapter who is perpetual sunshine and never has anything bad to say about anyone. If she can't summon up anything nice to say about a rushee, THINK TWICE. One "no comment" from her is probably more telling than any of the stories anyone has heard!

USFSDTAlum · #19 07-12-2001, 12:57 AM

worriedsenior:
before you are in the system, or have intricate knowledge of the system, maybe you should refrain from bashing the system.
Maybe you should re-read what people have posted in what the look for in a PNM. Money and looks are great and all but if she's going to sit on her ass for a semester and not contribute, not attend, and not show up next year, another group can have her! As far as GPA, that shows me that she worked hard in HS to achieve something, also remember that formal rush is very fake on both sides. Both the sororities and the rushees and putting their best sides forward, and that often means brushing some facts under the table. Would YOU tell a potential employeer that you were indiscreet about your personal relationships. No, I hardly think so , that is not something that comes up in polite convesation. The sisters aren't sitting their going, what your name? age? where are you from? how many people have you slept with?...And as far as that goes, you can usually tell the in a ten minute conversation the girls who want to join a sorority for boys and beer. They are the ones talking about the parties they want to go to, while the worthwhile PNM's are talking about the community service they preformed in HS. SO yeah, your "friends" will probably get a bid somewhere, why does it matter if you are not in there chapter.
On another note:
we have list of words that we are supposed to use, and if these don't fit I have heard some other *colorful* (wink, wink) terms used. But I have never heard in argument in my chapter about looks/weight/ etc. If she is an asset to our chapter she will be one regardless of whether she is a size 6 or 16 or 26.( we must remember that the majority of girls going through rush are well to do, attractive, with good grades, and personality) that does not mean by any means that this is a required thing.If it comes down to 2 girls for a spot and one is an air headed twit, albeit beautiful, rich, smart (on paper) but only wants to join b/c her boyfriend is an XYZ, and someone who is less attractive, not as wealthy, but is gung-ho about taking on chapter responsibilitys, the bid is going to the second girl.

worriedsenior · #20 07-12-2001, 07:06 AM

33girl,BRAVO!!!!

ZTAMich · #21 07-12-2001, 02:13 PM

This past Spring during Rush we had a list of some adjectives to use during voting when identifying a girl and whatnot. However, NICE was a word we were discouraged from using bc it's so general. From then on it became a joke whenever someone says "Oh she's a nice girl" we say "NO she's a lively, energetic, good Zeta Lady". It can be so hard sometimes during rush to not say the wrong thing!

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~*~to be true to ourselves, to those within and without our circle ~*~

shadokat · #22 07-12-2001, 02:16 PM

Yes, nobody is allowed to say someone is "nice, sweet"...use adjectives that really mean something ya know. And when you "con" someone, it has to be legit. For instance, one girl came through rush and said the only reason she came back to our party was because she only got invited back to two. It was said "under her breath" and someone overheard it. When it was time to "con", that was a legit con, and she got the cut.

ilovemyglo · #23 07-13-2001, 12:45 AM

Okay worriedsenior I know what you mean...
Let me just tell you my story... I went through rush as a sophomore. My freshman year I hung out almost exclusively at a Fraternity house, though. I never had sex with any members (I only dated one member and we were together 8 months including my rush period). I know for a fact that the house I joined, well, there were some girls there that expressed concern about me joining because they had heard I had slept with people there. They did not know this for a fact, though. One of the girls that was most concerned called a brother of that fraternity and bluntly asked him. He told her that indeed I had never had sex with any of his brothers and that he thought highly of me. That helped her but did not completely sway her. She ended up realizing that rumors are just that.. that is why HEAR SAY IS NOT ALLOWED!! We have a system that means you have to have a pro also. However you have to realize, we had a girl come through asking us what our drug policy was because she was an occasional user... when you are going through rush this is inappropriate behavior and very tactless. We dropped her because you can't hold a spot for someone who maybe smoking pot with your letters on, or worse yet, has it in your housing. I am not saying it made her a bad person, it just isn't what the values of my sorority stand for. You have to realize when you are deciding on who will be your sisters you are not just deciding for your chapter, but also for every sister out there that wears your pin/badge. You want them to be proud of the women you give the honor of being a sister too.

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"...and love her for her womanhood."