Cut from legacy chapter, and almost every other chapter after first round

[Hearttoheart]

Originally Posted by confusedmom

She had recs for most of the chapters, 4.0+ GPA, many activities and awards, comfortable talking to anyone,etc.

First of all, I'm terrible sorry about your daughter. Rejection is never easy, as we all know. The good news is that she is young, and this has been a learning experience.

You said something that caused me to wonder...

You said she had a 4.0+ gpa. The plus you added leads me to believe you may be quoting a "weighted" gpa. Most sororities only look at "unweighted" gpa, so the highest gpa possible would be a 4.0. They don't really care how many advanced classes were taken, or that those advanced classes were harder than your average class. All they care about was the grade she made.

If you re-calculate her unweighted gpa, would she have less than a 4.0? Perhaps this is where her recruitment got sideways???

It's a thought anyway.

There are many, many clubs and activities on campus that sorority girls get involved in that have nothing to do with greek life. (My daughter's sorority requires they get involved in at least two additional activities other than her sorority) If you daughter wants to meet or make friends with these sorority actives through other clubs, it may help her chances in COB, informal spring rush, or rushing again next year.

Good luck to your daughter, and mom - hang in there, there is way more to college life that sororities!

[Titchou]

THat's a good point. The GPA that PH will give the chapters is the "core" gpa - in other words, only the core subjects that the U considers for acceptance....math, English, history,science, foreign language....

[confusedmom]

Thanks again to everyone. Her non-weighted GPA was 3.75, so I doubt that's the problem, though she did put 4.35 down on her application, so maybe they didn't think she follows directions?? We also realized that she went with a group of people to a fraternity party before rush when she didn't know she wasn't supposed to. She doesn't drink, but maybe just being there was a no-no. She's a rule follower and didn't even go to the football game Saturday because she "might" have gotten asked back on Sunday. They were told at orientation that they couldn't be anywhere where people might drink or their might be actives around.

The more I think about it, the more I think that it wasn't anything that she did or didn't do during rush, it was something else. The fact that she was cut so quickly by every sorority makes me think that something else was going on. It wouldn't be guy related since she didn't date much in HS. She knows a few girls from her high school class that go there, but not really any upperclassmen. The two upperclassmen she would have known from a charity organization we were in both graduated last year. I think we'll just never know and sorority life was just not meant to be for her.

[AGDAlum]

Confused Mom, I'm sorry about your daughter's experience, esp. Since her grandmother is an Alpha Gam! Check with your daughter and the Greek Lifr office to see if any chapters will participate in COB (continuous open bidding, which used to be called informal recruitment). Sometimes a PNM gets lost in the crowd of formal recruitment and shines in COB. (And may that AGD rec get to the right place!)

[AnchorAlumna]

My daughter was also released during recruitment. Her legacy sorority was no longer on campus....there were such outrageous lies told at that time bout it that I often wonder if she was let go because of that.
BUT - I will never know. Nobody will tell me, even if they could.
That one and done rule - I dunno, I often see it ignored.

Best bet is to get active on campus in other orgs, make tons of friends, study hard and get good grades. COB is a possibility - that's how I pledged although I did not go through formal recruitment. And that's how my daughter pledged - and to the sorority of her initial choice.

[AOIILisa]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

My daughter was also released during recruitment. Her legacy sorority was no longer on campus....there were such outrageous lies told at that time bout it that I often wonder if she was let go because of that.
BUT - I will never know. Nobody will tell me, even if they could.
That one and done rule - I dunno, I often see it ignored.

Best bet is to get active on campus in other orgs, make tons of friends, study hard and get good grades. COB is a possibility - that's how I pledged although I did not go through formal recruitment. And that's how my daughter pledged - and to the sorority of her initial choice.

I never went through formal recruitment either, but I ended up living on a dorm floor with a lot of Chi Omegas and AOIIs and ended up informally visiting both groups and getting a bid that way.

As a finance adviser to two chapters, I can tell you that sometimes spots open up in a chapter for one reason or another, especially after fall semester with seniors graduating early or taking early alum status due to internships and getting to know active sisters can be a good way to nab one of those spots.

[jenidallas]

Also with NPC encouraging chapters to reset total every year to median chapter size right after (72 hours) formal recruitment, that now means on many campuses up to half of the chapter may need to COB to hit total. (This obviously depends on how tightly they were clustered in chapter size at that point, but it's a positive move for this purpose.)

[SimplyMe]

Not going to lie, going to parties during recruitment is a good way to screw up your chances. There's a good chance it wasn't that and maybe she just wasn't clicking with the girls she was talking to or coming off wrong.
I don't know how your daughter's campus works, but mine never really seemed to follow the one and done rule. I saw so many girls end up with only 2 houses through most of recruitment, drop, then go again their sophomore year and shine (this mostly happens because my campus has terrible tent talk). She'll get to know many girls in sororities this year, and that can help her the following year. Also girls learn to just be themselves instead of coming off like they're bragging about their resume. It's more natural and easier to make a good impression to just have a good conversation. She sounds like she has a great head on her shoulders and I wish her the best of luck for next year.

[hopefulpnm.]

I was cut from recruitment after the second round but joined during informal recruitment this fall! It was so much more relaxed and easier to get to know the girls without 50+ other PNMs in the house at the same time. I went to an open house and then got coffee with some sisters the next weekend. Now I'm a SK and couldn't be happier!