Another Strange Situation

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by Richard(SNU)
[I]But I think it's wrong to lay all
the blame on Nationals having rules for "some dumb reason".

Nationals exist to uphold the dignity of the rituals that were created
by the organization's founders. If you reduce everything to "It was
just an oath, it doesn't really mean anything" where does that leave
you?

Okay, I understand the part about nationals making rule that you can't join another GLO in the same conference once initiated. That would ruin the secrecy that bonds GLO members together.

My issue is w/ the people who want to join another GLO within the same conference, who DIDN'T initiate into their previous GLO, and those who want to join another a GLO in another conference. Both are "legal".

Also, I'm not a fan of hard-core oaths.

[theta sig agd]

If you did NOT initiate then you can go to another GLO, there is nothing wrong with that. But if you have been initiated in one org I dont think you should be allowed to join another group.(excluding honors groups of course)

I just dont think it is right....

[TKESweetheart]

I think it should be OK to initiate into another group if you transfer to a DIFFERENT school. I know several people who were XYZ at a school and had to transfer and at the new school there was no XYZ. And then they met people in ABC who were really nice etc. As long as you don't go blabbing ritual stuff, I don't really see the big deal. In all seriousness, girls have it different than the guys. We have to go through formal rush where everyoe is really nice nice to your face and then you get in and you begin to see the real picture. Also, struggling chapters have the, in my opinion, bad habit of having neighboring chapters or alumni or seniors do all the rushing and then when you get in, all the people you loved and met during rush are not even around. We are different people at 22-23-24 then we are at 18. Things and people change. What if a chapter lost their charter and a member went to a new school really far away where there was no chapter to affiliate with? What is the real harm in them wanting to be involved in a sorority? Also, one of my old sorority sisters had to go to a school out of state really far away from us and they did have our Sorority there, but they treated her like dirt and ultimatey elected to not allow her to affiliate because they don't like to have affiliates. She was the sweetest person. I can't imagine someone not liking her. Anyway. I love my sorority, but I can see why some one would want to de-sister and join another. SOmetimes things happen that leave a bitter taste in your mouth and you want to start fresh.

[FuzzieAlum]

Maybe there are bad situations, but a promise is a promise and an oath is an oath. If I make the mistake of swearing to something I change my mind about later, too bad for me. I don't want to have a sister who thinks so little of her oath she will break it. It's not like we keep it a secret that you join for life. And if you're being rushed by girls from another chapter, that should be evident up front, and it's hardly fair to be disappointed because the sisters in your chapter aren't like that. There is, after all, a reason for the pledge period, and a reason a girl who depledges can still join elsewhere.

If your new chapter won't accept you, you can go alum or disaffiliate entirely. A chapter that won't accept a sister from elsewhere isn't living up to its ideals, and if I knew my org was doing that, I would want to kick those girls' rears.

Certainly, there will be girls now and then who transfer and don't have their chapter on their new campus. But they knew what they were doing when they transferred. Maybe giving up active membership was a hard thing to do although other factors outweighed it, but she still had a choice.

The NPC and NPHC (and I think the NIC) all have unanimous agreements stating that no member group will pledge anyone who is a member of another group within that conference. Technically, that leaves open the loophole that I could quit AXD and try to join an NPHC sorority. But I don't know of many NPHC members who would approve of that.

Also, when I initiated, I promised never to join any other "general" Greek letter fraternity. This is an AXD promise, but I bet most other orgs have similar ones. We can argue all day about whether NPHC orgs are "social" or "service," but they definitely are "general" in the same way NPC groups are - they are not honorary or academic or exclusively service (in the way APhiO is).

Sororities are so serious about this that when the AES sororities merged into the NPC, girls who had perfectly legally joined one of each HAD to give up one of the memberships.

Now, locals are a little different story. This is partially because if you make the no-double-joining rule applied to them, no local sorority could ever join an existing national organization.

It has nothing to do with worrying about revealing rituals or sharing secrets. (I'd be more worried about a drunk sister telling her boyfriend.) It has to do with joining a sorority for life, for the right reasons, and for realizing the depth of your commitment. A lot of people join to make friends, but there is more to sorority life than that. If your choice of sorority didn't work out, well, if friendship is what you are looking for, presumably most Greek women have what it takes to make new ones.

[AlphaSigLana]

TkeSweetheart-- I think that you make some strong points.
As a transfer student myself it is weird not to have my sorority at my campus, but at the same time I have found so much more to get involved in. Of course it would be cool to to have gone through rush again. I am now an associate member of Alpha Phi Sigma(criminal justice honor society-- I don't have the gpa to be full fledged-- but I can still wear the letters etc). I am really excited about this, plus I can't imagine being in a sorority again bc of all the drama I went through.
My question is has a sorority/fraternity ever lost gone under? Example lets say that all of the ASA chapters were taken off every campus-- and they could never come back. Now if this were to happen-- would it be fair to let someone join another chapter?

[Optimist Prime]

sometimes fraternties merge

[TKESweetheart]

I had several "drunk" roomies divulge MUCH to me over the course of the last 5 years and, my ritual included, NONE of us pledged to not join something else. We pledged to keep all secrets and sorority business to our selves etc. etc. But joining another group was never expressly forbidden. There was one poor girl in my sisters dorm who had transfered from another school because she changed her major and her chapter at that school had gone under and those girls were told they could rejoin a different org.(THey were national NPC) and the girl did at my sisters school. THen one of her old sorority sisters found out and got mad and "reported" her to both headquarters. She was de-membered from BOTH and she didn't even know what she was doing was wrong. We all felt so bad for her. She was a really active member and was really nice and had great grades and everything. Neither sorority will let her be a member and now she can't be anything. I think that is so sad. I only know her because she's my sis's friend but that's what my sis says about her. Anyway, maybe there could be an extenuating circumstance clause or something. I agree this shouldn't be a common thing or be rampant on a campus, but there should be some measure for people in this situation. Seriously, I am the only one of my highschool buddies that has had a great greek experience. All of my other friends (about 11 or so of us) de-sistered, de-pledged, never talks to anyone any more, had nothing nice to say about her sorority, thinks sororites are dumb, all her sorority sis slept with her b-friend, blah blah blah and they all had GREAT pledge quarters because everyone was kissing thier butts.Anyway, I know I am playing devils advocate here! I'm always rooting for the under dog......

[Optimist Prime]

I would never join another fraternity. I think its IFC that we can't.

[AchtungBaby80]

Does anyone know how long the no-double-membership rule has been around? The reason I'm asking is because once I was upset and frustrated with my chapter, and my dad said, "Well, why don't you just quit and pick another one?" which made me think that maybe that was legal back when he was in school. But maybe he was just mixed up...

[Optimist Prime]

Um...
I think a DU started DChi. So who knows. In my fraternity, its always been understood that you don't ever join a different fraternity. LIke one dude back in day transfered and was no theta chi there. He was asked to join Delta Mu (I think was the name) but could not. So Delta Mu became Gamma chapter. I think that pretty much sums it up

[TKESweetheart]

I know several men who were at schools (Ah-hm Alabama) and when they went to school in another state joined another frat and the guys didn't care. My old boyfriend told me that guys are not "petty" (his word not mine) liek girls and that if there is a rule about no double joining-no one really enforces it. In my old b-friends frat, even if you were a transfer and you already were in the fraternity, theymad eyou pledge again. They didn't have affiliates, only brothers. If you were from another school, even if you had been president of your chapter, you had to re-pledge and they didn't have to let you in. I thought that was abit harsh. But there national/HQ nacks them up on it everytime... Probably everyone is different. I know different schools are just different. At my school all the greeks hang together.the Sigma Chis go to the ATO's parties etc. But at my sisters school, you'd NEVER go to a bar/party/mixer with another group. It just wasn't done.That was like being a spy or a traitor or something. I thought that was dumb. Anyway.....