A Question for the ladies of the NPHC(not for the sensitive)

[AKA2D '91]

That's , but why continue to say I can "callout", but do not? Aren't you just as guilty, basically INSTIGATING?
If it is counter-productive, why mention it on more than one occasion? You opened the door...I came on in.

There are many of us who are guilty, not only when it comes to the NPHC, but other groups on GC, therefore bring it out! You were the only person who said twice that "I can call out..." (Maybe we need to compare lists, you know to make sure it is accurate...we would not want to leave ANYONE out. )

Like I have said, I do not appreciate being falsely accused of anything, but until it happens PERSONALLY, I would not expect those unaffected to understand/comment.



[i]I cannot stand a liar nor a thief[i/].

[Happydaysf91]

Well --

People are people. Everyone doesn't do everything the same. Some people will visit some boards. Some will not. Some people will post all over and some will not. I think the problem is just because people wear certain letters people think thats how that entire organization is. Wrong!

At any rate...the same thing with the retaliation threads. Everyone doesn't handle everything the same way. Sure, some people may do stuff in pm. But others may choose not to. That's on them. We are all different.

Just look how 'we' are acting with the subject at hand. And yes, interest individuals are looking. Do we really want to look like this -- not because we are greek, but because we are black women????

Subject at hand....

Yes, there is competition and hostility. I think sometimes it continues on because that's the 'perception' we give off. When people make bad comments about BDQ when they are TWY they don't realize it looks as though they are competiting or dislike that org. And I know its just you have org. pride, but at the same time do you have to put down to lift up. And we are passing this 'perception' to the interested ladies. And they even say the same thing now. It was a time where interested ladies wouldn't down any org. prior to joining one. But now they feel comfortable and we let them do it and laugh. Pure craziness....and then the saga continues....

[DSTilmatic_1913]

I would just like to say that I agree with Keli (hey club!). My only reason for response in the SGRHO forum was to dispell the generalizations posted. We all know members of orgs (our own included) who joined for the wrong reasons but those are individuals. As I have said to others before, if our orgs are what we say they are (and I know Delta is then we are all worthy of praise in our own right. I have respect for all women in the different orgs but I do have a problem when the chants turn into slander.

P.S. I would just like to state for the record, that I was not aware of the fallen sister of SGRho. If I would have known, I would have surely offered condolences and so I offer them now during your sorority's time of mourning.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Personally I don't think this conversation is going to provide the answers we need simply because most of those who reply are confused about this issue as well. The rest will either read & not post or post & avoid the question entirely.

There's always going to be competition. All 4 of us are pretty much pulling from the same pool of women: college educated & public service oriented leaders. Friendly competition is fine, but some folks can't take a joke, some folks just say stuff to make themselves feel better, and some folks simple type before they think, as has been the case with a number of threads.

I was going to take the time to call out folks, but I decided against it. What good would it do? There are Sorors, AKAs, Zetas and SGRhos that have said some JACKED UP stuff, especially lately, and it's messed up that it's the same group of 5 or 6 total that don't know that "I love my organization" DOES NOT MEAN "I can put down/disrespect/make snide comments about your organization."

All of us, at one point or another, have claimed to be elitist. Being elite does not come from being first or large, or consitiutionally bound, or small. It does not come from having small lines or large lines. Nor is it validated by those aspects of our organizations. The fact of the matter is ALL of us are elite. None of us should slight another organization to prove or explain otherwise. Good natured joking among friends is one thing. But some of the comments that prompted this conversation are quite another...and quite embarassing.

Bottom line, you can have ORGANIZATIONAL PRIDE all day long, as you should. However, don't let your pride cause you to INSULT others who are not in your orgs. There is a difference between the "dissing in chants" that we all do and some of the derogatory remarks that I have seen on Greekchat.

[12dn94dst]

Instigating...kinda like what you're doing now, huh Via? I know I said I'd call folks out once but I rethought & removed it. You call folks out & then what? More mess? No thank you. But again, it's "ONLY GC...it's cyberspace" so it shouldn't really matter, or does it? But since you're so willing to call folks out Via, go ahead, say what u want, just spell my name right.


Moke, I said is I knew what was posted. You're right, you can't do much with folks that don't want to communicate, but one way or another it would have been resolved...that's just me. And yeah, if the post was edited, it would still be there but there was that month of posts that were lost whne GC went down, again, just putting that out there. The whole mess is just unnecessary. Forgive me for trying to get isht cleared up. Apparently some folks like keeping up mess & complaining about it, I don't happen to be one of those people and I don't happen to like seeing folks I consider friends involved in it either.




Is it so wrong to ask WHY folks feel that they have to make out of the way comments and is it wrong to expect an answer as opposed to getting suggestion of how the question could have been better phrased? Is it so hard to give a reason why people say the things they do? I mean, was it that you lost your composure for a few moments or are you like this all the time? Were you only taught to love your organization and that the others are beneath you? Do you buy into the stereotypes and challenge anyone who tries to tell you that you're not like that? Or is it that you just don't care about any other letters but yours and you only interact because you feel you have to?

Is it necessary to throw our comments about being pre-occupied with coloring the world pink & green or crimson & cream in a thread about increasing visibility? Is it necessary to create a thread with the same name on your board in "response." Is it necessary to remind everyone every everytime a relationshiop with a fraternity is mentioned that you have a consitiutional bond with a fraternity? Is it necessary to assume/suggest that just because organizations bring in large lines that they are not bringing in quality members? Is it necessary to dismiss folks as being bitter rejects? Is it necessary to cut the monkey over some invisible prizes and bragging rights garnered from a network that we're supposed to be boycotting anyway??

It's like a mini-race war around here sometimes. I'm starting to see why folks look at us as glorified gangs...that's how we act.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Instigating...kinda like what you're doing now, huh Via? I know I said I'd call folks out once but I rethought & removed it. You call folks out & then what? More mess? No thank you. But again, it's "ONLY GC...it's cyberspace" so it shouldn't really matter, or does it? But since you're so willing to call folks out Via, go ahead, say what u want, just spell my name right.

Do not try to put your idea on me. I only asked you a question as to why not do those call outs, when you mentioned it twice. That's not instigating, that's coming to you straight and point blank. You chose not to do that, FINE. Do not try to put the heat on me, but you know what, I'm a trooper, I can handle it, I'll take it.


Hell yeah, it matters. Again, for the third time (maybe fourth), as long as I am accused, you are dayum straight it will matter. I do not expect anyone to agree with what I have ever said on GC. I am not like anyone else on this board. We all have similarities, commonalities, but that is it. I'm not one who feels sorry for this and sorry for that...woo woo woo, be my friend, let's chat, let's do this, come join my organization...that's not me. (I know that was never mentioned, but I am adding that in for lagniappe) If one wants to make generalizations about the organization I am a member of, fine. Yet, when one targets me as an individual, it is another issue all together.

Glorified gangs? I do not believe in that mess. I act alone. Whatever I say, I say it. It is MY opinion, MY beliefs. It is not the opinion nor beliefs of my sorors, my organization, my sister, my mother...ONLY ME. (again, MY opinion)

I apologize again DeltaQTE...


The End!

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
say what u want, just spell my name right.

You know you need to quit, right? LOL

Moke, I said is I knew what was posted. You're right, you can't do much with folks that don't want to communicate, but one way or another it would have been resolved...that's just me. And yeah, if the post was edited, it would still be there but there was that month of posts that were lost whne GC went down, again, just putting that out there. The whole mess is just unnecessary. Forgive me for trying to get isht cleared up. Apparently some folks like keeping up mess & complaining about it, I don't happen to be one of those people and I don't happen to like seeing folks I consider friends involved in it either.

I didn't think about when GC went down and we lost posts. Good one there, cuz I'd forgotten about that. I agree, I think it's unnecessary as well, however, it won't silence me. You know, there have been a lot of things said on GC that have ticked me off, and I have never responded, trying to be the bigger person. Yes, I've talked about stuff with some sorors, and with others, too. But I'm like this: there is nothing that I will discuss amongst my sorors about something that happened on GC that I will not discuss out in the open. Kel, you know me, and you know how I get down. I think I've held my tongue quite nicely, and I'm tired of it. So while it might be unnecessary, I'm no longer holding my tongue. And I'm not sending any more PM's either, unless it's in response to a PM sent to me. You feel comfortable enough to write some crazy mess, I don't care if PM's do exist, I'm writing back. Call it petty, actually, you can call it what you want. I call it TIRED. I feel what you're sayin, Kel, I do, but I'm tired, that's all.

I mean, was it that you lost your composure for a few moments or are you like this all the time?

I'm kinda like this all the time, anyone who knows me knows I say what I think (remember the chicken episode during our spa day? LOL). But maybe this did catch me on a bad week. Or maybe it's the build up of all the BS, who knows?

Or is it that you just don't care about any other letters but yours and you only interact because you feel you have to?

The truth? My main concern is Alpha Kappa Alpha, period. It might sound harsh, but that's my truth. I am not INVESTED in anything else. And we can go on and on all day about how we all do the same thing, yada yada yada. But we all pledged our orgs for a reason. There is a reason I am not a Delta, Zeta, or SGRho. Would it upset me if all the others went away? Yes, it would. To me, AKA is the end all be all, but I know everyone doesn't feel that way, so I like that there are 4 of us. Everything is not for everybody. I think about AKA DAILY. No other org gets that from me, so if that translates to that's all I care about, so be it. Is that necessarily a bad thing? I don't think so. As far as interacting because you have to, I'm not sure I understand that one, can you clarify a lil' bit?

Is it necessary to create a thread with the same name on your board in "response."

Necessary? Don't know about necessary, but I wouldn't say it was unnecessary, either. I didn't start the thread, but I'm glad it was started. It turned into a beautiful thread that truly brought tears to my eyes. Did I see it as a response? Nope, because there are some things in those posts that only a soror would understand, so it couldn't be a response, technically. But I do think it served its purpose. And what is so bad about responding in a positive light?

And, Kel, I'm not tryin' to keep stuff going, believe me I'm not. I just want to respond to your questions, so that you get some opinions and stuff on this board. Everyone doesn't know that we are cool, and to keep from the 'gang' mentality, I'm just putting that out there. I am not trying to go back and forth with Kelli, just responding to her questions, so that they are not avoided.

[DELTAQTE]

AKA2D'91 I am not offended, I got you e-mail, sorry my box was full, I cleaned it out

I am not offended by opinions, I am offended when someone comes at me in an immature manner and expects me to be the bigger person. Hence an e-mail I got from one member of Pan-Hel who was offended with something I said, well she showed her azz in that letter, and I'm suppose to just take it? No sir!


And I'm tired of having to defend my sorority just because we have more members. I'm tired that it "has to be something" else besides that my sorority works hard to be where we are at for people to want to join, it's ridiculous


I think we are all doing a good job with dialogue right now, nothing major so far


QTE

[12dn94dst]

Originally posted by Ideal08
My main concern is Alpha Kappa Alpha, period. It might sound harsh, but that's my truth. I am not INVESTED in anything else. And we can go on and on all day about how we all do the same thing, yada yada yada. But we all pledged our orgs for a reason. There is a reason I am not a Delta, Zeta, or SGRho. Would it upset me if all the others went away? Yes, it would. To me, AKA is the end all be all, but I know everyone doesn't feel that way, so I like that there are 4 of us. Everything is not for everybody. I think about AKA DAILY. No other org gets that from me, so if that translates to that's all I care about, so be it.

That doesn't translate into being all you care about. If it was, you wouldn't be upset if the rest of us went away.

Originally posted by Ideal08
As far as interacting because you have to, I'm not sure I understand that one, can you clarify a lil' bit?

Interacting because you have to in a "i really don't care for these folks, but in the interest of sisterhood/greek unity/NPHC-ness, I will" sense.

Originally posted by Ideal08
And, Kel, I'm not tryin' to keep stuff going, believe me I'm not. I just want to respond to your questions, so that you get some opinions and stuff on this board.

I know Moke. Good looking out with the answers.

[Swamp Thang]

Whoever said it's not the org but a disgruntled member hit the nail on the head. Here's one true story.

At my chapter, in the fall of 94 (I was still a neo), we had an interest meeting. One of our Founding Chapter Bruhs son didn't make the next line because he had a 2.4 GPA.

We had one guy who we let start the process because he had a 2.47 and was enrolled in 3 classes + we knew that the transcipts with the grades from the next Quarter would be the ones used by the intake team.

Now, our Founding Chapter Bruhs son knew ole boy didn't have a 2.5 but he thought that the Bruhs, somehow, FIXED his grades. In other words, he was mad because he thought the Bruhs just didn't want to eff with him. "Why didn't they fix MY GRADES TOO?" [that type of thing]

Next QUartEr, he went Sigma.. and from then, till he graduated, became the biggest Omega hater in Alabama (the state).. I ain't even playing...

so, I said all that to say this...

A lot of folks who start drama are people who are disgruntled because they got turned down or the 'REJECTED' letter from the Sorority they originally wanted to join... and then, for whatever reason joined Frat/Sorority XYZ...

If you think about it.. I'm sure you know at least one greek like that..

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Interacting because you have to in a "i really don't care for these folks, but in the interest of sisterhood/greek unity/NPHC-ness, I will" sense.

Ok, I understand now. Nah, that's not me, lol, cuz that's phony and I don't do phony. But it is SUCH a loaded question, because who would be honest about doing that? I really hope no one does that, that's pretty foul.

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by DST_philoso4
People!!! When others 'beg to differ' or have a different perspective on certain issues, why do we attribute it to them being insecure, or not being accepted etc. ? Ideal is not the first, (and I'm sure will not be the last) to use this reasoning. I mean, when someone has things to say about certain orgs. It seems to me the 'conditioned response' is you are insecure

I am not saying I attribute it to being insecure based on the opinions of an org. But if you make threads talking about HOW COME NO ONE RESPONDED TO MY POST, I FEEL IGNORED, THEY DIDN'T WELCOME ME, that screams insecurity, IN MY OPINION. If you come at me and say you think AKA sucks, I'm not going to think you are insecure because you hold that opinion. But if you come at me and ask me why I didn't respond to your post????? On a message board??? Where is the opinion in that? So I'm not going against people's opinions, hell we all have them. I'm going on BEHAVIORS.

[DztndDiva]

I agree with Swamp Thing when he said that most of the drama comes from people who got rejected and then joined another organization.

Another part of the 'problem' is what happens at probate shows. Don't you understand that its just a show. This is ABC's time to shine and call all the other organizations "out" about something. Don't take it personal. I mean I love DST just as much as any of my Sorors, but we all know they were AKA's (just an example) so why get mad when they mention it. The key word is WERE. The same goes for the rest of the organizations. For example, on my campus, the ladies of EFG got into a fight (promise it wasn't us) and the ladies of TUV called them out at their probate. Now, I'm not saying this was right, but EFG made their own bed, they had to lie in it.

The problem on my campus is getting the other sororities involved. All the frats will partake in any event given by another Greek organization, but the sororities won't. Even cook-outs! We (Pan-Hellenic Council) cannot get the other sororities to partake in the activities and if they do......they don't socialize. What's the problem? Lack of participation is something I don't think I'll ever understand.

[12dn94dst]

Originally posted by Happydaysf91
I heard the other day that one group during a step show called another group paper and threw paper at them? Where's the grad advisor/pan council/administration.? Do you think the women that are in that organization (the ones that got dissed) are really going to be down with the ones who did this????? NO!

Yeah, some chants are cute....but I've heard more than just your 'AKA is what a Delta ain't....what a Zeta wanta to be.....' kind of chants where people are just poking fun. I've heard chants (sorors included) where people are calling folk out of their names/ talking about folks history/ saying some orgs. should be fraternities and etc. That's not cool! And even though we think its in fun, some time it goes too far.

On those points, I agree with you. I mean, who is anyone to call someone else, ESPECIALLY someone in ANOTHER ORGANIZATION paper? Are we suddenly privy to everyone's process? Do we cross pledge? Did I miss that memo? The situations you've described go WAY BEYOND dissing chants to being flat out mean and there's no reason that. It's like the respect for the fact that there are 4 of us for a reason is totally gone, if there ever was any to begin with, and that's sad.

[12dn94dst]

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
I mean, was it that you lost your composure for a few moments or are you like this all the time?

charge it to lost cool/being tired of the drama.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Were you only taught to love your organization and that the others are beneath you? Do you buy into the stereotypes and challenge anyone who tries to tell you that you're not like that? Or is it that you just don't care about any other letters but yours and you only interact because you feel you have to?

Of course I love my DST. I'm not an AKA or a Zeta or a SGRho for a reason. My love for Delta does not include disdain of or disrespect toward the other three organizations. I was not taught that. I did not, and do not, teach that. You will not hear me say, nor will I think that I cannot & will not hang out with someone JUST BECAUSE she is a AKA/Zeta/SGRho.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Is it necessary to throw our comments about being pre-occupied with coloring the world pink & green or crimson & cream in a thread about increasing visibility?

It has no place in a converation of that type.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Is it necessary to remind everyone every everytime a relationship with a fraternity is mentioned that you have a consitiutional bond with a fraternity?

I don't see why. We all know our own histories and traditions. No one's history is better than another's.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Is it necessary to assume/suggest that just because organizations bring in large lines that they are not bringing in quality members? Is it necessary to dismiss folks as being bitter rejects?

As I commented earlier, are we suddenly privy to everyone's processes? Do we all suddenly know what everyone's selection pool was? Were we there for the chapter's discussion & vote? Are we getting documents saying who was rejected from what? I highly doubt it. Without that information, we are unqualified to make such sweeping generalizations. TRUE, there are SOME CASES where someone was rejected from one org, acceptied in another and is now hating on the org that rejected them. But that CANNOT be the source of ALL the hostility. If it is, then maybe we do need to publish lists of who was rejected & distribute them.

Originally posted by 12dn94dst
Is it necessary to cut the monkey over some invisible prizes and bragging rights garnered from a network that we're supposed to be boycotting anyway??

I've said my piece on that one. I've never been more embarassed in my life as I was when that conversation was taking place.