Parents Have a Negative Image of Greeks

[Glitter650]

HEY !!

my parents weren't really against me joining a sorority... but didn't really understand the whole deal. I agree showing them after you've joined that nothing horrible has happened to you and that your grades are doing just fine, I really don't see how they could have anything against it. About the financial form.. I know my soror has a form like that... but if you are financially independent they don't have to sign it, so definitely just make sure about that ahead of time.. also if the group you get a bid from does require both signatures.. maybe you could contact the nationals your self and explain and they maybe able to work something out ?? Maybe not.... but just a suggestion. HAVE A GREAT RUSH and don't worry too much I know going against your parents wishes is hard, but you have done your research and know what an amazing experience this could be for you. I"m sure your parents will learn this in time. OH YEAH Lauren just to let you know Phi Sig has a alumna ceremony, no pin ... but we do have ritual for woman who are going alum.

[aephi alum]

Financial responsibility letters... Every GLO is a little different. AEPhi has them, but only requires a parent's co-signature if you're not of majority age when you pledge. I submitted mine without a co-signature and it was fine. If you have friends who are in the sororities represented on your campus, ask them. If your parents have to co-sign regardless of your age (or if you're not of majority age) there may be an appeals process by which you prove that you and you alone can meet your financial obligations. Don't let this little point factor into your decisions during rush - you'll cross this bridge when you get to it.

Parents dead set against you joining a GLO... I feel your pain. My father was, and still is, vehemently anti-greek. I told him I was going through rush and his attitude was "It's your funeral." My parents never cut off my tuition or anything, but sorority dues were strictly my responsibility (which is fair).

My advice: Go through rush, and if you do join a sorority, prove to your parents by your own example that your grades haven't slipped, you're not shacking up with random guys, you haven't started drinking, etc. Share with them the relevant parts of your new member education program (we had an entire session on alcohol abuse, for example). If you need them to sign that financial responsibility letter, maybe you can cut a deal with them - say, if your grades don't slip, they sign.

Some GLO web sites and some Panhel web sites have a "for parents" section - encourage your parents to check these out.

BTW, Lauren, AEPhi has an alum ceremony too (but no pin).

[33girl]

Originally posted by justhey76


Oh NO!!! I am absolutely POSITIVE that my parents will not sign anything like this. Should I factor this into the descision making process? How can I find out which sororities might require this on my campus? If it helps, they are
Delta Zeta
Alpha Sigma Alpha
Sigma Sigma Sigma
and Alpha Omicron Pi
I looked around on the national and local webpages for info about that after I read this, and its pretty hard to find anything about that, so I am still in the dark. Any other resources? Or maybe you know if these houses require that parent signature?
PS Thanks for all the advice.

I'm an ASA and as far as I know we don't have anything like that.

My parents were not against it, just somewhat puzzled. Comparing it to Masons helped, so if your dad is a Mason try playing up that angle.

Are you going to Northeastern State? If so, I know I can speak for the grades issue...our chapter there took home more scholarship awards from convention than, I think, all the other ASA chapters combined. Not that I am pushing ASA but it might help to tell your parents that the system includes one of the top grades-wise chapters in their sorority.

[AOIIBrandi]

I don't recall having my parents sign a financial responsibility form for AOII. We also had sisters whose parents did not know they were members.

Please take the advice of the other women also. Have your parents check out the greek life sections of the university's website, and also check out the parent's sections on the organization'a national webites. I know AOII has this. Here is the link:

National web address: www.alphaomicronpi.org

Parent's section:

PM me if you need more info...

[dzrose93]

Originally posted by justhey76


Oh NO!!! I am absolutely POSITIVE that my parents will not sign anything like this. Should I factor this into the descision making process? How can I find out which sororities might require this on my campus? If it helps, they are
Delta Zeta
Alpha Sigma Alpha
Sigma Sigma Sigma
and Alpha Omicron Pi
I looked around on the national and local webpages for info about that after I read this, and its pretty hard to find anything about that, so I am still in the dark. Any other resources? Or maybe you know if these houses require that parent signature?
PS Thanks for all the advice.

Justhey76,

Delta Zeta does not, to my knowledge, require a parental signature on anything. I certainly don't recall having to get my parents to sign anything for me! I'm sure that some GLOs require this in order to insure that the member is not going to shirk his/her financial duty to the GLO... I suppose having a parent's signature as a back-up means that the parents agree to pay any costs that the member doesn't. However, I honestly do NOT believe that DZ has this policy.

Good luck with Greek Life... I know many sisters who had anti-Greek parents who are now very involved with DZ because they attended a Parents' Weekend and were impressed by what they saw. My parents were never anti-Greek, but I can still remember how pleased my mom was when I would bring some of my sisters home to visit for a weekend. Getting to know my sisters personally really made my parents feel more attached to DZ.

[carnation]

I know we didn't sign anything when our daughter pledged AOII!

[FHwku]

Some of our members parents come to some events we're at, or host, and have a look for theirselves.

[Kevin]

Until you're actually in a certain sorority you won't really know what you have to work with as far as selling your parents on the idea.

This is one of those times where as well-meaning as your folks are they don't know what's best for you -- you do.

Once you become a member of a sorority then they will probably be able to suggest methods to help you with your situation. I served as the Marshal (Pledge Educator) a couple of years back and actually called parents that had issues with our fraternity.

They're looking out for your best interests and unfortunately whatever information they are working with (preconceived notions, past experiences) is wrong. They'll probably need something pretty strong to change their minds.

Best of luck with rush though!

LHT
Kevin

[PhiStar]

You know, my parents didn't know why i decided to rush either, they thought it was a silly waste of money. But now they hear about the cool things we do and are cool with it.(Plus they saw my grades go up my sophmore year (i rushed sophmore year) compared to my freshman year when i wasn't involved in anything. ) My dad is still a little iffy on the sorority topic, but my mom reads my Aglaia when it comes to their house. This year i gave my mom our mothers pin, and she wears it all the time and everytime i notice it she gives me a huge smile

I say rush, greek life is amazing.

[thetakates]

My parents actually encouraged me to go Greek. But that is probably because I didnt my freshman year and ended up having a really really bad year and being miserable in college. So to my parents it was a blessing to get me involved in something. I think most of my problem my freshman year was taht I was definitely not adjusting well because the only people I met just wanted a constant party. I was never like that in high school and I was always very involved. I guess i went into a depression because I basically had NOTHING to do. That brought my grades down and made me withdraw from many people that I had always been close to. I know I am one of the few exceptions to the rule that collge kids try to follow about not beinng to involved their first year in school. I feel though that it has made a 100% positive change on things in my life. I now have an opportunity that not many other college kids have and I am able to learn many things that are going to be helpful to me in the future. I know that I will be a much better teacher in the future because of the leadership and philantrophy skills I have picked op over the year I have been involved in my GLO.

I know some of the girls that pledged in our spring class didnt tell their parents they went greek until after they were initated. These parents then had to accept the fact that their children had done this. I think this should be used in extreme cases though. so if you were super involved in high school I greatly encourage you to go Greek or else find something else on campus that interewsts you. But going Greek is only something will truly be able to describe once they have joined because it is a beautiful thing. I think your parents will be able to appreciate your involvement especvailly if you have really really good grades! If anything I have to say about GLO's it is that I became less of a partier after I joined and I feel that is because I had a little better self-esteem because I was a member of a group that will accept my differences. Someitmes the people that oyu meet arent at all like this. And without joining a GLO you might have a better opportunity to fail into the wrong crowd.

I think a good idea would be to check out the sororities at your schools national headquarters website and show them to your parents. Maybe they need to see what these organizations are all about! Or there are also 800 numbers as Delt Alum mentioned.

I would keep in mind though that it is your money, and your college experience. What ever you feel like you need to do I would do. Despite what my parents would have said I would never had not gone Greek. It truly has been the greatest experience in my life.

Keep us all posted on what goes on!

[AGDLynn]

To be honest, I don't remember if new PNMs parents have to sign financial awareness statements. I do know that the collegiate and parent/guardian are required to sign our chapter's housing agreement so that the parent/guardian is aware of the costs, liability issues, etc.

Parents are also sent scholarship status letters to let the parents know how the chapter is doing. ((This past semester was great!))

AGD has a "Strive for Pi" (3.14 GPA) scholarship program and many chapters have Parents' Clubs. If your new chapter doesn't have one, see about starting one. The other parents will appreciate it!

Good luck!

[DeltAlum]

I'm a little torn here after reading some of these posts.

If you are footing the bill for everything, and can still pay to belong to a sorority, I can't think of a good reason why you shouldn't.

However, I really hate the idea of deceiving your parents. Things can be stressful enough with the lifestyle changes you will be going through shortly, without adding this kind of misunderstanding.

I still hope you can find someone in their age group for them to talk to so that you both have some solid information to soften the "you vs. them" conversation.

[Blaire]

Man, I remeber when I told my parents of my intentions to rush! They were very apprehensive...my mom especially. She bought into all the terrible sterotypes that I would be treated cruelly and unjust. And then she met my big sis! After meeting her and others of my chapter, she absolutley fell in LOVE! I gave her the Delta Zeta mothers pin for Christmas, and she wears it to church almost every sunday. And, to anyone who listens, she tells them what a god-send and positive thing my sorority is and continues to be! Give your parents time, and they will see this too, I promise!
ps and also metion that each frat and sorority has a philanthropy that they support..such as make-a-wish foundation, The Childeren's Miracle Network, and the Hearing and Speech Imparied.

Proud to be DELTA ZEE! No matter the letter, greeks do it better!

[justhey76]

Thanks for all the advice, once again. But to clear things up, I think DeltAlum thought that I just wasnt going to tell my parents. I dont want you to think im just deceiving my parents! My parents know, I told them straight up that I am going to rush, and if i received a bid, i will pledge and initiate into a sorority. They already know it, they just arent happy about it, and I dont want to do something that makes them unhappy.
33girl, yeah, Northeastern State University in Oklahoma, (im not sure that that is the one you were talking about, but if it is, that is REALLY REALY cool, and ill be sure to tell my parents about it)

[33girl]

Yes, I did mean Oklahoma. Good luck and have fun in rush!