A good woman is hard to find

[librasoul22]

Originally posted by sphinxpoet


LOL at image! You are right but when you say that but if you have a person that can do all those things......as a lot of women say "Why do the hell do I need a man if I can do everything for myself?" WHat happens if men can do everything now and dont need women(this is not my opinion just a question)

Well this is kind of a moot point. Because if neither of us relied on each other, life would cease to exist. Procreation is not shadow boxing! But seriously, I would hope that people aren't throwing their hands up in frustration just yet. I think th people that hold that "I don't need anyone" mentality are the main ones who are insecure about their own strength. I am inclined to ask these people who bitterly say they need no one...who are you convincing, me or yourself?

[RedefinedDiva]

I have to agree with you LibraSoul (Great Libra minds think alike! ) You need to stop worrying about what makes a "good" woman and start concentrating on being a "good" man. I am not trying to blow on you or put you down, but if you are such a "good" man, why can't you find a woman?

Before I continue, let me ask you a few questions.

1. Where do you meet these women that you date?
2. Is that short list of qualities all that you look for in a woman? (If so, I can name about 100 women off top that would fit that mold)
3. Do you think that those few things REALLY make a "good" woman?

As I read your posts, it seems as though you may not be finding a "good" woman because you seem to have such low regards for us. Not like I really should care, but I am slightly offended by the fact that you split us into these tired categories of not knowing what we want, wanting the thug life brothers, or trying to "create" a man, etc. Besides that, what about the fact that you and your "boys" have this theory that some women are so dense that you want them to shut up so you can just look at them? What makes them dense? Maybe they are not knowledgeable in a particular topic of conversation, but hold a wealth of knowledge about other things. What about other things? Have you ever made an effort to talk to a woman who was not so attractive, slim, etc.? Have you ever made the effort to help a woman work on the things that may not be up to your standards presently?

I can't speak for all women, or even most for that matter. I can't even speak for the women that visit this forum. However, I can speak for myself and say that maybe you need to check how you are stepping to these women, where you meet these women, and what you are really looking for. You should also check yourself. PLEASE do not take this as a personal attack because it's directed to all brothers who may read this: In MY PERSONAL opinion, a woman would (sometimes) rather put up a front (i.e. act "dense", aloof, uninterested, etc.), chill alone, or waste just one more day with her usual lowlife brotha before she wastes one MILLISECOND with a brotha with a stick up his azz. Feel me?

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva

I can't speak for all women, or even most for that matter. I can't even speak for the women that visit this forum. However, I can speak for myself and say that maybe you need to check how you are stepping to these women, where you meet these women, and what you are really looking for. You should also check yourself. PLEASE do not take this as a personal attack because it's directed to all brothers who may read this: In MY PERSONAL opinion, a woman would (sometimes) rather put up a front (i.e. act "dense", aloof, uninterested, etc.), chill alone, or waste just one more day with her usual lowlife brotha before she wastes one MILLISECOND with a brotha with a stick up his azz. Feel me?

You can speak for me on that one!

No matter how good looking a man is arrogance is always a turn off.

[Aspire]

I am finding it extremely interesting that in this discussion everything is seeming to point to a short coming on my part however if the role was reversed as it has been in several topics of this type and I was a female speaking on a lack of good men then it would be as I have heard time and time again I would be given every type of encouraging word to say that there was nothing wrong with me and that I should be patient and just do my thing and live etc.etc.etc

However since I am a man probably saying what many a brother who was not attempting to be a playa,pimp. etc. it is being constantly refrenced that I am insecure, not approaching a young lady right, or just basically a "boy" and not a man

Well how about this for those of you who are responding that are good women and single - why are you alone- and no one has really answered my question about what you as a female thinks makes a good woman- it is strictly an opinion not Bible Law that I was requesting.Mainly because sometimes when we look at people we tend to look from a biased view point or some standard that we our selves do not meet. For the women who have told me to look at self I have and as a person I continue to see the growth in me as an individual- and many of my experiences come from the fact that I have out grown many of the people I am around recognizing that fact I am looking for new areas to meet and find a strong woman- and I am not as shallow as to just not want some one because of their appearance,but if you don't take the time to be concerned about how you look as far as being well kept what does that say about you as a person.

I read post where women said they liked a well kept man, intelligent, confident,nice lips etc. a man with a job/finances someone who appreciated them and all they got were praises and amens however when I as a MAN spoke along the same lines my integrity and character came into question.

And for all of those females who disdained my comment about some females being dense or just wanting them to be silent because they are sounding like complete and utter air heads. How many of you have given out the wrong phone number because a brother was sounding like a complete and utter fool, or looked at another female and said she was stupid or an air head. The basic principal is this do not slander me for being selective about the requirements I have for a female that I want in my life nor simply be nieve enough to think that the list I presented was I complete one- and also ......................

DON'T ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE I AM A MAN THAT I DON'T DESIRE A HEALTHY,WHOLESOME, AND SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP JUST ASMUCH AS ANY OF YOU WOMEN"

so with that said please look at yourselves and tell me what makes you a good woman and so worthy to speak on behalf of the good women who are not capable of responding.

[RedefinedDiva]

You seem a little abrasive in your latest post. How about you take a breather and chill out for a minute because it's not that serious. Now I will carefully respond to your post as to not cause anymore misunderstanding on your topic.

Immediately after your original post, you were given encouragement to help with your saerch and patience. HOWEVER, you retaliated with appreciation for our words, but more or less rejected what we said simply because it may not have been what you wanted to hear. You continued to downplay our advice, as well as put down women as a means to make your point as to why you could not find a "good" woman. This leads to:

When one is "insecure," they tend to put others down as a means of covering up or making up for their own shortcomings. Also, that phase of comments came about after you CONTINUOUSLY tried to convince us that all of the women that you meet are dense or not worthy of your company. If EVERYONE that you meet happens to not be up to par, then, as we suggested, you should do some introspection. IN NO WAY did anyone refer to you being less than a man. That was a conclusion that you drew on your own.

The relationship status of those who have so graciously taken the time to respond to your post is not what's really in question. However, those who choose to respond will do so. I see no point. Aside from that, I can say (for myself only) that I can not list the qualities of a good woman because I am looking for a woman. I don't roll like that. Besides, I feel that qualities to be looked for in the significant other is entirely a PERSONAL matter. Although you put up a good argument, I still can not see how another's opinion can help to influence the type of woman that you want. You are still going to have your personal taste and preference.

No one ever challenged you integrity or character. You are MORE than welcomed to have preferences/requirements for the type of woman you choose to spend time with. The "questions" arose from the fact that NO ONE meets your standards. That's why it was suggested that you evaluate yourself or think about if you were actually sure about what you were looking for. No one is "assuming" anything about you. We are just qouting what you say and responding to it.

You are entitled to wanting the best for yourself. Good luck on your search and hopefully, those who respond after me can can add on more words of encouragement.

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by Aspire
what do you classify as a good woman? my list is as follows:

1. Saved
2. Attractive
3. Has a job
4. Has some type of self esteem
5. can hold a conversation
6 brings something to the table,other than her good looks
7.Can be classy in the board room,chill at the picnic, and freaky when necessary.
8. CAN COOK NOT MICROWAVE,BUT CAN COOK
9. Knows how to tell their girlfriends to MIND THEIR DAMN BUSINESS
10. CAN COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's say that you found a woman who possesses all of the qualities you listed - what would your intentions for this person be? Where would you see the two of you in the next 2-5 years? You say that the woman would have to be saved - are you saved and a member of a church? Would you attempt to build a life together with her? Do you tell your "boys" what goes on between you and the person you are dating? Some men need to be able to tell their "boys" to MIND THEIR DAMN BUSINESS as well!!! Men are just as quick to stick their nose into somebody's business as women are - some men are worse!!! If you want a woman to know how to cook - will you provide her with groceries, if necessary since you want her to feed you? Do you keep yourself well-groomed?
Just wanted to know

[sphinxpoet]

Originally posted by FeeFee


Let's say that you found a woman who possesses all of the qualities you listed - what would your intentions for this person be? Where would you see the two of you in the next 2-5 years? You say that the woman would have to be saved - are you saved and a member of a church? Would you attempt to build a life together with her? Do you tell your "boys" what goes on between you and the person you are dating? Some men need to be able to tell their "boys" to MIND THEIR DAMN BUSINESS as well!!! Men are just as quick to stick their nose into somebody's business as women are - some men are worse!!! If you want a woman to know how to cook - will you provide her with groceries, if necessary since you want her to feed you? Do you keep yourself well-groomed?
Just wanted to know

No one...and the SPHINXPOET MEANS NO ONE!!!!!!!! should expect from thier partner that which they cannot do themselves. If you want your woman to be a dime all the time then hit that Gym Brothers! If you expect her to cook then turn on the food network. You expect her to be saved then you best be saved! Do what you can do and expect no less from someone else!

Sphinxpoet

[librasoul22]

Originally posted by sphinxpoet


No one...and the SPHINXPOET MEANS NO ONE!!!!!!!! should expect from thier partner that which they cannot do themselves. If you want your woman to be a dime all the time then hit that Gym Brothers! If you expect her to cook then turn on the food network. You expect her to be saved then you best be saved! Do what you can do and expect no less from someone else!

Sphinxpoet

They are chanting the Sphinxpoet's name...

Sphinxpoet, Sphinxpoet, Sphinxpoet...

[strawberry_02]

Well I think good men are very hard to find and so are good women. But they are out there. I also feel that you should be equal to the person you are seeking to find.A lot of people have said that you have to look inside a person, and I believe that is very true.But that first instant attraction is most likely physical. And someone I don't find attractive I just can't see myself being with. Now I have gotten to know some brothas who upon first glance,I didn't feel were attractive.But after getting to know them, what was on the inside was even better than I could imagine.

[Sugar_N_Spice]

Originally posted by sphinxpoet
No one...and the SPHINXPOET MEANS NO ONE!!!!!!!! should expect from thier partner that which they cannot do themselves. If you want your woman to be a dime all the time then hit that Gym Brothers! If you expect her to cook then turn on the food network. You expect her to be saved then you best be saved! Do what you can do and expect no less from someone else!

Sphinxpoet

It is hipocritical for one to say "I want this, this, and this in my mate", yet they are non of these things themself. Ask yourself this: If I were to meet my ideal mate right this second, and he/she possesed all the qualities that I desire, would he/she want me? If the answer is "No", then you need to focus on improving yourself (which, as we all know is a lifelong process) and getting yourself to the point where you could answer "Yes"...no one is perfect. However, I respect a person that is actively improving him/herself...

[Koss28]

A good woman is hard to find. My latest saga ended in failure. A friend at work introduced me to one of her friends via e-mail and said she was a good woman. Who knows, she probably is. But anyway, I talked to her for a couple weeks and she was into church and everything. I thought that was cool. Then came the day we were suppose to meet. I told her I was going to stop off at Happy Hour after work to meet up with some of my partners then we could meet later on. She was cool with that. Well on my way out, I stopped to help someone change a flat tire and was 30 minutes late. She got pissed off at that and won't talk to me again.

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by sphinxpoet


No one...and the SPHINXPOET MEANS NO ONE!!!!!!!! should expect from thier partner that which they cannot do themselves. If you want your woman to be a dime all the time then hit that Gym Brothers! If you expect her to cook then turn on the food network. You expect her to be saved then you best be saved! Do what you can do and expect no less from someone else!

Sphinxpoet

And let the members of the church say.... AMEN!

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974


And let the members of the church say.... AMEN!

AMEN AMEN AMEN!!!!!

And I too am chanting Sphinxpoet, Sphinxpoet, Sphinxpoet!!!!


Sphinxpoet - Thank you for your reply