The Bitch Post

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I am going to bitch about men for a change. How does "My date canceled on me, do you want to go to my impromptu tonight?" translate into "I have a big crush on you"? Dammit! Quit thinking so highly of yourself!

(can you tell I am referring to one man in particular?)

Alright, I will revoke my bitching because he finally got it through his thick skull.

I will, however, bitch about the following:

My car is a piece of crap! I can't even put my new plates on because the holder is so corroded.

I hate control systems! I am never going to finish this assignment.

Anyway, you should all go to Voodoo Online and relieve your frustrations on someone else.Voodoo Online

[stillwater15]

i hate the fact that i'm currently unemployed and the jobs that people want to offer me don't pay enough.

i hate the fact that my current love interest and i have piss poor communication. so, i'm going elsewhere.

i hate the fact that i have to go elsewhere, when we spent so much time, trying to get to know one another.

i hate the fact that it's still winter. oh how i long for days w/90 degree temperature, so i can wear sundresses.

[ansturge]

thought you might need a picker-upper

so here is something for all of you with man troubles -- myself included: Warning its pretty long

Why Cucumbers are Better Than Men


the average cucumber is at least seven inches long
cucumbers stay hard for a week
a cucumber won't tell you size doesn't count
cucumbers don't get too excited
a cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety
cucumbers are easy to pick up
you can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket ... and you know how firm it is before you take it home
you only eat cucumbers when you feel like it
no matter how you slice it, you can always have your cuke and eat it too
cucumbers can get away any weekend
with a cucumber you can get a single room ... and you won't have to check in as "Mrs." Cucumber
a cucumber will always respect you in the morning
you can go to movie with a cucumber ... and see the movie
at a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat
a cucumber can always wait until you get home
a cucumber won't eat all the popcorn or send you out to get Milk Duds
a cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival
a cucumber won't ask "Am I the first?"
cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin
cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin
cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin
with cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once
cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall
cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups
cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bad with your boots on
cucumbers aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits and nuts
you can have as many cucumbers as you can handle
cucumbers never need a round of applause
cucumbers won't ask:

Am I the best?
How was it?
Did you come? How many times?

cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski/tennis instructors
a cucumber won't want to join your support group
a cucumber never wants to improve your mind
cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations
cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one
a cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator
a cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over
no matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh cucumber
cucumbers can handle rejection
a cucumber won't pout if you have a headache
a cucumber won't care what time of the month it is
a cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet
with a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry
cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow
cucumbers won't give you a hickey
cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot
Afterwards, a cucumber won't:

want to shake hands and be friends
say, "I'll call you a cab."
tell you he's not the marrying kind
tell you he is the marrying kind
call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist
take you to confession

cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month
a cucumber won't make you go to the drugstore
cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for him
a cucumber a day keeps the ob-gyn away
a cucumber won't work your crossword with ink
a cucumber isn't allergic to your cat
with a cucumber, you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the flu season
cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car
a cucumber won't consume all your food or liquors
a cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library
cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest
a cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hair spray
cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor
cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub
a cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet
a cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower
with a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it
cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold
cucumbers can't count to "10"
cucumbers don't tell you they like you better with longer hair
a cucumber will never leave you

for another woman
for another man
for another cucumber

a cucumber will never call and say, "I have to work late, honey." and then come home with the smell of Channel No a 19 on him
a cucumber never snaps your bra, or pinches your butt
you always know where YOUR cucumber has been
you won't find out later that your cucumber:

is married
is on penicillin or have AIDS
likes you, but loves your brother

a cucumber never has to call "the wife"
cucumbers never have mid-life crisis
a cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move
cucumbers never have to tell you what they did while on vacation
cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do
a cucumber won't wear shorts to your office party
you don't have to wait until halftime to talk to your cucumber
a cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve
a cucumber won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde
cucumbers never want to take you home to mom
a cucumber doesn't care if you always spend the holidays with your family
a cucumber won't ask to be put through Medical school
a cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually
cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers
a cucumber won't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy."
a cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised catholic, jewish, or orthodox vegetarian
it's easy to drop a cucumber
a cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything

[ZTAngel]

UGH! My roommate is a pig!
I think she's physically incapable of cleaning up after herself. She leaves empty cartons of milk sitting in the fridge. HELLO?!?!?! IT'S EMPTY!!!
I don't think she's ever once touched a mop or a broom. Whenever me or my other roomie clean the apartment, the pig roommate is always there to mess it up the very next day.
She left a rotting cantaloupe sitting on our countertops for days until I said to her, "Hey, it smells like crap! You mind throwing it away?!"
Her attitude is 10 feet in front of her at all times.
I hardly ever speak to her anymore except for the occasional "hello" and "goodbye". She then has the nerve to say to my other roommate, "Ya know, ZTAngel's birthday is in a few days and she never invited me to come hang out with her for it. Why is that?" Gee! I really wonder why too!

[aggieAXO]

to bad I hate cucumbers but I like pickles-can that be a substitute?

Anyways....

I hate the fact that I went to school for so long and still get paid like shit.

I hate the fact that my best friend is moving to Houston.

I guess that's it.

[KarenC725]

I hate the people that walk in the middle of the hallway, just enough to one side so that you can't get through. I may need to get to work too!

I hate that I won't know until the day before if I'm going to Florida or not.

Just had to update

[SparkliiQTMTSU]

hmm what do i need to bitch about..Well A#1 would be GUYS!!! ugh i am soo sick of waiting around and playing these damn mind games and they say that girls are difficult!!

this damn weather too man its cold as everything one day and then hot the next...CANT it just make up its mind!! it needs to get warm and just stay that way!!

hmm anything else well school but I can deal with that

Oh yeah being sick!! UGH I have mono right now and it sooo sucks really bad I get tired soo easily but yet I dont wanna lay in bed at home I gota be out doing stuff!! but I get all tired and feel like crap soo easily oh well


nichole

[Eirene_DGP]

I hate my annoying a$$ roommate. She annoys the hell out of the rest of us everytime the power bill comes. She wants to pay it on the day it comes. Ok, we all don't have $50 sitting around. Then she never sleeps at night. She stays up all night banging stuff in her room, takes a shower at 4am, and cooks breakfast at 5am! What kind of BS is that?? Then her mom calls every morning at the crack of dawn with this fake british accent (They lived in London for less than 6 months and came back with an accent)!!!!

I hate the retarded tennis girls who wanna call Public safety everytime we turn the stereo up instead of politely ringing the door bell to ask us to turn it down. Wait until the next time they have a booty call, I am going to call PS just for the hell of it to get them in trouble.

[SAE1955]

Man if some of you women spent as much time worrying about school and other more important stuff then you do about guys, life might not be so difficult....Why are you women so stuck up on relationships while your still in college? Don't fool yourself, most guys aren't looking for serious relationships in college

[FuzzieAlum]

Hey, we're not all still in college here!

[dzrose93]

Originally posted by FuzzieAlum
Hey, we're not all still in college here!

Thanks for pointing that out, Fuzzie! I'm one of the GC college grads myself.

[AlphaGam1019]

Originally posted by SAE1955
Man if some of you women spent as much time worrying about school and other more important stuff then you do about guys, life might not be so difficult....Why are you women so stuck up on relationships while your still in college? Don't fool yourself, most guys aren't looking for serious relationships in college

Do you have relatives who are regular posters on GC? lol

[AchtungBaby80]

I despise 8:00 am classes. I also despise my 7:30 pm night class. Both are pains in the arse.

I get frustrated by professors who can't speak intelligible English!

I really, really don't like the way corporate America works. You're supposed to have six years of work experience before you graduate from university!?! I don't want to go down that road, but I might have to because my college pushes its students that way. Can I just stay home and run the sweeper in my high heels and pearls?

I don't like people who drive up behind you while you're trying your damndest to parallel park your truck in a space big enough for an Izetta (sp?) because that's all there is on this campus, and they flash their headlights impatiently and give you mean looks because you're in their way. I can't park while people are watching, OK? I get performance anxiety!

[Tom Earp]

I always figure If Wishes Were Chicken Shit, I would have a damn Coop full!

If you wake up everymornig roll out of bed and your feet hit the floor, and you know it, it must be going to be a good day!

I always had 7:30 class, last class got out at 11:30, the Huddle opened at 12:00 Had a 3.89 that Sem. taking Corp. Finance, Marketing, and Econ. Of course that was a few miles back down the road!

School Hours suck now, as take a morning class and some night classes!

Of course I do not know, as only work at my shop 6 days a week!

[DeltAlum]

I hated 8:00 AM Classes.

Now, I deal daily with people in three of the four time zones -- sometimes four.

So my office hours are 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM.

You gotta love that.