I suicided

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

Nonetheless, my friend SIP'd, and I thought she had a pretty good reason.

Again, this depends hugely on chapter size. At a school where the NM classes alone are 100+ women, I'd tell a PNM to suck it up.

[als463]

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia

I usually keep my mouth shut, but I find it rather annoying that you feel the need to comment on almost every post about a woman not wanting to be a member of a certain sorority for whatever reason and attack her for thinking she was "too good" for that sorority.

Not thinking that you would fit in or not wanting to be a part of a certain chapter doesn't mean that you believe you are "too good" for that sorority. Sure, there are women who think they are "too good" for lower-tier groups but that is not always the case. For what it's worth, when I went through recruitment there were a couple of chapters that were considered very "top tier" that I personally didn't feel like I would fit in with at all - so it's not always about feeling "too good" for a chapter.

Every woman's situation is different and every woman going through recruitment needs to do what is right for her. In my opinion, it's better to suicide if you only want a bid from one chapter and would decline a bid from another chapter because then you're not taking a spot away from a girl who would love to be in the chapter you're not interested in. Quit being so harsh - you don't know anyone's particular situation and this poster didn't provide us with enough information to start drawing conclusions.

OP, actions have consequences. I'm sorry that recruitment didn't work out the way you wanted it to, and I wish you the best of luck in your college career.

I don't buy it. The OP's university had a quota of something like 130 new members. These are huge chapters. I am aware of what chapters struggle and what chapters don't. In chapters of 300+ women, using the excuse that you "didn't feel comfortable" is nothing more than lip-service. If you can't find someone in a chapter of 300+ women to befriend, maybe the problem isn't with those other chapters you didn't connect with. Each of these organizations have great women in them and to suicide at a major SEC school where girls can easily get cut completely, means you are willing to take a big risk. She should have really thought of the outcomes. Would you rather be a member of XYZ or not be Greek at all? We aren't talking about a school where being Greek is no big deal. We are talking about a major SEC school where Greek life is huge. She rolled the dice and she lost. I feel no sympathy.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by als463

I don't buy it. The OP's university had a quota of something like 130 new members. These are huge chapters. I am aware of what chapters struggle and what chapters don't. In chapters of 300+ women, using the excuse that you "didn't feel comfortable" is nothing more than lip-service. If you can't find someone in a chapter of 300+ women to befriend, maybe the problem isn't with those other chapters you didn't connect with. Each of these organizations have great women in them and to suicide at a major SEC school where girls can easily get cut completely, means you are willing to take a big risk. She should have really thought of the outcomes. Would you rather be a member of XYZ or not be Greek at all? We aren't talking about a school where being Greek is no big deal. We are talking about a major SEC school where Greek life is huge. She rolled the dice and she lost. I feel no sympathy.

Maybe the woman makes her choice because she doesn't want a small handful of people she clicks with.

This is her choice, and not one of us has the right to chastise her for her choice, rather only to remind her that choices have consequences. Second-guessing or putting her down is petty.

[maconmagnolia]

Originally Posted by als463

I don't buy it. The OP's university had a quota of something like 130 new members. These are huge chapters. I am aware of what chapters struggle and what chapters don't. In chapters of 300+ women, using the excuse that you "didn't feel comfortable" is nothing more than lip-service. If you can't find someone in a chapter of 300+ women to befriend, maybe the problem isn't with those other chapters you didn't connect with. Each of these organizations have great women in them and to suicide at a major SEC school where girls can easily get cut completely, means you are willing to take a big risk. She should have really thought of the outcomes. Would you rather be a member of XYZ or not be Greek at all? We aren't talking about a school where being Greek is no big deal. We are talking about a major SEC school where Greek life is huge. She rolled the dice and she lost. I feel no sympathy.

You don't need to feel sympathy for her, but you don't need to be a judgmental ass towards every single girl who comes on here saying she doesn't feel comfortable in a certain chapter. You do not know her reasoning and you have no place to make judgment.

[als463]

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia

You don't need to feel sympathy for her, but you don't need to be a judgmental ass towards every single girl who comes on here saying she doesn't feel comfortable in a certain chapter. You do not know her reasoning and you have no place to make judgment.

Oh, the irony in telling others not to be judgmental while at the same time being judgmental.

[ladybug12]

We all need to remember that a new NPC rule is automatically resetting campus total to either average chapter size or median chapter size within 72 hours of bid day. On most campuses, this creates a few open spots for chapters that made quota but need to grow a bit to catch up in size (may have had a large group of seniors graduate in the spring, for example).

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by ladybug12

We all need to remember that a new NPC rule is automatically resetting campus total to either average chapter size or median chapter size within 72 hours of bid day. On most campuses, this creates a few open spots for chapters that made quota but need to grow a bit to catch up in size (may have had a large groups of seniors graduate in the spring, for example).

Local Panhel has to vote to use the rule, and not everyone has accepted it yet. I don't know the situation here.

They can choose to reset total to largest chapter size, mean chapter size or median chapter size.

[SoCalGirl]

Originally Posted by als463

I'm pretty certain every chapter there made quota. Every chapter at this university is amazing and I find it pretty sad that you felt you were "too good" to be in one of these sororities. I can also tell you that this campus does so well that they rarely have COB events in the spring. In fact, for the chapters that choose to COB, they usually only take a handful of (meaning like 5) ladies. Next time, you should give EVERY chapter a chance. I mean, that "other sorority" was willing to consider you.

Not wanting to join a specific chapter =/= thinking you're too good for said chapter.

I really wish people would quit using that as a definitive statement.

There are plenty of reasons to not feel comfortable in a group.

How many times has GC given one woman grief for "taking a spot" for a chapter she didn't think she wanted and another woman praise for "giving the group a try" even when she didn't think she fit in with the group? This poster chose to SIP and it didn't work out. Now she has to deal with the outcome.

Good Luck OP with whatever you do!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Not wanting to join a specific chapter =/= thinking you're too good for said chapter.

I really wish people would quit using that as a definitive statement.

There are plenty of reasons to not feel comfortable in a group.

How many times has GC given one woman grief for "taking a spot" for a chapter she didn't think she wanted and another woman praise for "giving the group a try" even when she didn't think she fit in with the group? This poster chose to SIP and it didn't work out. Now she has to deal with the outcome.

Good Luck OP with whatever you do!

Those chapters are huge. I find it hard to believe that anyone would have a hard time fitting in to a group of 130 NMs. als may have been harsh, but she's pretty spot on.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

Not wanting to join a specific chapter =/= thinking you're too good for said chapter.

I really wish people would quit using that as a definitive statement.

There are plenty of reasons to not feel comfortable in a group.

This. Completely.

HOWEVER, OP, ya pays yer money and ya takes yer chances. My family is constantly reminding young folks we know that choices have consequences.

[Griffins&Quills]

I was under the impression that all PNMs attending pref are on the bid list somewhere. Which is why chapters have to be okay with all girls attending pref, as they could potentially walk through the door on bid day, even if she's the very last name on the B list.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by Griffins&Quills

I was under the impression that all PNMs attending pref are on the bid list somewhere. Which is why chapters have to be okay with all girls attending pref, as they could potentially walk through the door on bid day, even if she's the very last name on the B list.

Yes. If you go to pref, you should be on the bid list somewhere, unless something ungodly awful comes out about you.

[AZTheta]

She WAS on the bid list! BUT she SIP'ed. And she wasn't high enough on the bid list before her desired chapter met quota. Ergo, no bid for her. That's the risk she took.

So she was eligible for a snap bid from any other chapter, but she was SOL when it came to the chapter she SIP'ed.

[QueenD]

Someone said that Panhellenics have to vote to adopt the automatic total adjustment rule. The Greek system at my campus has informed us that this is not the case. Automatic total adjustment is to be treated as NPC Policy and any exceptions must be approved by the NPC area adviser. This is consistent with what national officers of my org say has been communicated at other schools.

[Griffins&Quills]

Is the automatic total adjustment new? Or is that something that has been in place?