Dropping ADPi, Can I join another?

[ADPiEE]

I'm sorry that ADPi on your campus wasn't a good fit for you and I hope you find a group where you connect. Like others said, this may be another NPC sorority, a non-NPC sorority, spirit organization, religious organization, service organization, etc. Sometimes these things happen and it's good that you realized it before initiation.
Good luck in your search!

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by ijustwantout

Ok, so I totally understand that formal would be incredibly hard for me next year, but the fact of the matter is that I don't have a connection with any of the girls in my sorority. I feel bad for dropping, but I'm not enjoying it and I don't see any other option. If one of you guys have a suggestion for me that would be great instead of just being just the catty sorority girls you guys are proving yourselves to be. Thanks

Now I'm officially pissed.

You come onto a forum and start going off about how you don't like anyone in a sorority, which you then name, and then ask if you can drop and join another one.

Then when you are told 1) you CANNOT join another sorority for a year (seriously did you NOT listen when you were told about the binding agreement prior to signing your bid card?) and 2) that depending on your campus and year in school that recruitment next fall could be tough for you. You were told "go ahead and drop out".

So because you don't like our answers (which are the truth) we are "catty sorority girls".

So now I'm going to be the "catty sorority girl" that you insisted I (and every other panhellenic sister on here) is....

"yes, special snowflake you can drop out of ADPi because you are only an alpha member and join a new sorority right now. That pesky binding agreement rule between all the 26 national sororities doesn't apply to you".

[ijustwantout]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Now I'm officially pissed.

You come onto a forum and start going off about how you don't like anyone in a sorority, which you then name, and then ask if you can drop and join another one.

Then when you are told 1) you CANNOT join another sorority for a year (seriously did you NOT listen when you were told about the binding agreement prior to signing your bid card?) and 2) that depending on your campus and year in school that recruitment next fall could be tough for you. You were told "go ahead and drop out".

So because you don't like our answers (which are the truth) we are "catty sorority girls".

So now I'm going to be the "catty sorority girl" that you insisted I (and every other panhellenic sister on here) is....

"yes, special snowflake you can drop out of ADPi because you are only an alpha member and join a new sorority right now. That pesky binding agreement rule between all the 26 national sororities doesn't apply to you".

Hahahahahahaha :'D that was fabulous. Obviously I totally understand that I have to wait to join a sorority, that's a pretty obvious thing... The only reason I named ADPi is because I wasn't sure if I still had my Panhellenic eligibility since I was technically "initiated" as an alpha member and no other sorority at my campus has that. So you definitely need to settle, I have been very appreciative of everything most people have had to say (especially pursuing other activities outside of a sorority!) and will totally take their advice into consideration. No need to get pissed, it is not that big of a deal. I never talked crap about the sorority, I just don't feel like I fit in. Wow. Calm yourself.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by ijustwantout

Hahahahahahaha :'D that was fabulous. Obviously I totally understand that I have to wait to join a sorority, that's a pretty obvious thing... The only reason I named ADPi is because I wasn't sure if I still had my Panhellenic eligibility since I was technically "initiated" as an alpha member and no other sorority at my campus has that. So you definitely need to settle, I have been very appreciative of everything most people have had to say (especially pursuing other activities outside of a sorority!) and will totally take their advice into consideration. No need to get pissed, it is not that big of a deal. I never talked crap about the sorority, I just don't feel like I fit in. Wow. Calm yourself.

And DGs are "initiated" as Pi Alphas, etc, etc, etc. We all have some sort of formal pledging ceremony. You are not different. What was binding was SIGNING the Bid Card, not the formal pledging ceremony. Sorry you didn't pay attention when you had the opportunity to sign it.

Yes, you may quit but you do need to understand this may be your only shot at being Greek. If that's OK with you, it's certainly OK with us.

And we never, ever, ever like it when someone comes on here, says they don't like/fit/love/whatever their group and then NAMES IT! Very bad form, my dear.

[ijustwantout]

@titchou, I apologize, I am not a legacy for anywhere and am still very new to this whole greek system. I guess ya'll are right, I should never have mentioned the sorority name and for that I apologize. I guess I just felt the need to clarify, because I was just worried about the whole "initiation" thing. I definitely understand that formal next year would be super hard, and thank you for helping me understand that it was for signing my bid card.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by ijustwantout

Hahahahahahaha :'D that was fabulous. Obviously I totally understand that I have to wait to join a sorority, that's a pretty obvious thing... The only reason I named ADPi is because I wasn't sure if I still had my Panhellenic eligibility since I was technically "initiated" as an alpha member and no other sorority at my campus has that. So you definitely need to settle, I have been very appreciative of everything most people have had to say (especially pursuing other activities outside of a sorority!) and will totally take their advice into consideration. No need to get pissed, it is not that big of a deal. I never talked crap about the sorority, I just don't feel like I fit in. Wow. Calm yourself.

You are the one who posted that we were being "catty". What did you think would happen? Did you really think you could call us "catty" because you weren't getting the answers you wanted and no one would call you out on in it?

We all understand that our chapters may not be everyones cup of tea, but to come on this forum and giving names is a whole other issue entirely. You could have easily said "I joined a panhellenic sorority during formal fall recruitment and I'm just not feeling it". Instead you said "I joined ADPi and I'm just not feeling it".

As a non-initiated member of a sorority, I don't think you are going to quite understand the LOVE that one has for their chapter and for greek life in general.

I would be saying this even if it wasn't ADPi you were talking about.

[pbear19]

I agree that she shouldn't have posted the name of her sorority.

But, maybe I'm being too pragmatic, but I wonder if we (as in GCers) aren't a little overzealous at times about people who want to drop. Being in a sorority can be a major time commitment and major financial commitment. If someone isn't enjoying their experience, why make them feel ashamed about it? I believe in the lifetime commitment, but I am not so sure how well that is communicated or how meaningful it is to someone who is 18 and unhappy.

Just my personal opinion.

[als463]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

You are the one who posted that we were being "catty". What did you think would happen? Did you really think you could call us "catty" because you weren't getting the answers you wanted and no one would call you out on in it?

We all understand that our chapters may not be everyones cup of tea, but to come on this forum and giving names is a whole other issue entirely. You could have easily said "I joined a panhellenic sorority during formal fall recruitment and I'm just not feeling it". Instead you said "I joined ADPi and I'm just not feeling it".

As a non-initiated member of a sorority, I don't think you are going to quite understand the LOVE that one has for their chapter and for greek life in general.

I would be saying this even if it wasn't ADPi you were talking about.

ASUADPi, come on. Stop being so serious over this--I mean, this special snowflake is clearly too good for anyone. No, for real though, I'm with my NPC sister on this one. You know I stand behind my macon magnolia sisters. The girl is being pretty tacky by thinking she is too good for an organization and going as far as calling it out. Consider your organization lucky that this girl wants to drop out. I wouldn't want this young woman as my sorority sister.

[33girl]

I don't know that it's trying to shame someone, so much as it is being realistic.

If you're in a chapter of 100+ people, it's very unlikely that with today's shortened and sanitized pledge periods you've met and gotten to know everyone well enough to know if you "fit," and dropping may mean that you won't get another bid, simply because you're a year older. This isn't a "for sure" thing, but the person considering needs to think about this. They also need to realize that in every chapter of 100+ people there will be people they just can't stand. In other words, chapter #2 is not going to be filled with 100 soulmates. That just doesn't happen.

If you're in a smaller chapter and you've met everyone and don't fit, that probably is legitimate, but you also need to know that if the other groups thought you would "fit" you would probably have gotten a bid there to begin with. It sounds awful and condescending, but the sorority actives do know better than the rushees about things like this sometimes.

This all being said, using real names of groups is tacky and she could have found a more discreet way to word the Alpha initiation question.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by als463

ASUADPi, come on. Stop being so serious over this--I mean, this special snowflake is clearly too good for anyone. No, for real though, I'm with my NPC sister on this one. You know I stand behind my macon magnolia sisters. The girl is being pretty tacky by thinking she is too good for an organization and going as far as calling it out. Consider your organization lucky that this girl wants to drop out. I wouldn't want this young woman as my sorority sister.

I love you als463

[pinksequins]

I agree wth pbear and 33Girl -- sometimes there simply isn't a good fit that has little to nothing to do with snowflakedom. This can be particularly true, as 33 points out, in smaller Greek systems where chapters can have distinct personalities. Rather than have someone as a member who just isn't feeling it, it could be better to just call it a day and move on. It seems the OP recognizes her options and is making an informed choice. She also seems to recognize that naming a group might not have been the best idea.

OP, let's call it a day and good luck with your endeavors.

[als463]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I love you als463

Right back at ya' ASUADPi!

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by ijustwantout

@titchou, I apologize, I am not a legacy for anywhere and am still very new to this whole greek system. I guess ya'll are right, I should never have mentioned the sorority name and for that I apologize. I guess I just felt the need to clarify, because I was just worried about the whole "initiation" thing. I definitely understand that formal next year would be super hard, and thank you for helping me understand that it was for signing my bid card.

You need to stop using the word initiated NOW. You have not been initiated. You went through a pledging ceremony. Completely different thing. You have not been initiated in ANY way. Do whatever makes you happy, but you will probably need to do it without being Greek... and that's ... OK (said in my best Stuart Smalley voice)

[LaneSig]

Ok, I'm probably going to get a)flamed for this or b)told to stay in my own lane, but where in the op's original post did she ever say that she felt "too good" for the sorority chapter or that the chapter didn't get to hook up with "the best guys"? All she said was that she wasn't feeling connected and did not cut down the chapter in any way shape or form. (Should she have named the sorority? Probably not; but newbie's make mistakes.)

I saw nothing about her stating that she was too special, too good, or more "fabulous" than the chapter. I saw nothing about her saying that she hadn't met her best friend yet. She simply stated she wasn't feeling the connection. Should she have explained further? Yes. Maybe the actives all like to drink and party and she doesn't. Maybe the actives all like to have Bible study and she's an agnostic. Or, vice versa. We don't know.

Why does GC automatically assume that if someone doesn't feel a connection with a sorority/fraternity that the said organization is the smallest and least popular group on campus? That the poster thinks they are too good for a group? Maybe the group is one of the most popular on campus. The op might have gotten all caught up in recruitment and tent talk, accepted a bid, and then found out she's not really a good fit. (And please don't tell me that that doesn't happen. I've read the rush stories where y'all have talked about friends who ended up in top groups and dropped out or realized later they didn't really like the other members.)

Do I blame the op for her 2nd response? The comment about catty? No. The first 3 responses were straight and to the point. They didn't read into the situation or make assumptions. After that, the assumptions and the dogpiling began.

Sometimes new posters come on here and make some truly unbelievable comments and remarks - and, I have no problem with the answers they get (and have given some myself). Sometimes new posters come on here with honest questions that they should ask their own organizations, campus, panhellenic, but don't realize that or know who to ask. IMO, the latter happened here. But people made assumptions that made the poster defensive and she struck back. I'm really having a hard time blaming her.

Let the flaming and stay-in-your-own-lane comments begin in 3..2..1...

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by LaneSig

Ok, I'm probably going to get a)flamed for this or b)told to stay in my own lane, but where in the op's original post did she ever say that she felt "too good" for the sorority chapter or that the chapter didn't get to hook up with "the best guys"? All she said was that she wasn't feeling connected and did not cut down the chapter in any way shape or form. (Should she have named the sorority? Probably not; but newbie's make mistakes.)

I saw nothing about her stating that she was too special, too good, or more "fabulous" than the chapter. I saw nothing about her saying that she hadn't met her best friend yet. She simply stated she wasn't feeling the connection. Should she have explained further? Yes. Maybe the actives all like to drink and party and she doesn't. Maybe the actives all like to have Bible study and she's an agnostic. Or, vice versa. We don't know.

Why does GC automatically assume that if someone doesn't feel a connection with a sorority/fraternity that the said organization is the smallest and least popular group on campus? That the poster thinks they are too good for a group? Maybe the group is one of the most popular on campus. The op might have gotten all caught up in recruitment and tent talk, accepted a bid, and then found out she's not really a good fit. (And please don't tell me that that doesn't happen. I've read the rush stories where y'all have talked about friends who ended up in top groups and dropped out or realized later they didn't really like the other members.)

Do I blame the op for her 2nd response? The comment about catty? No. The first 3 responses were straight and to the point. They didn't read into the situation or make assumptions. After that, the assumptions and the dogpiling began.

Sometimes new posters come on here and make some truly unbelievable comments and remarks - and, I have no problem with the answers they get (and have given some myself). Sometimes new posters come on here with honest questions that they should ask their own organizations, campus, panhellenic, but don't realize that or know who to ask. IMO, the latter happened here. But people made assumptions that made the poster defensive and she struck back. I'm really having a hard time blaming her.

Let the flaming and stay-in-your-own-lane comments begin in 3..2..1...

I completely agree with you. Naming the organization was a bad choice, but people have not felt connected to all of our chapters for one reason or another. I was surprised to see this thread go beyond the first three posts.