This may be a stupid question...

[kayfaith]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply!

UVA17 - The D9 members in my family have told me to stay away because of hazing, too. D9 sororities and fraternities have such rich history as well. I just hate that they don't have formal or informal recruitment information avaliable. Were I to skip rushing for a Panhel in hopes of some type of NPC winter recruitment, I'd be really disappointed if it didn't work out. I guess when you think about it, some of the traditions aren't that different (stepping vs. skits?) and I definitely understand why D9s are historically important. I'm just drawn to the other more because I like being able to see exactly how involved they are on campus, exactly which philanthropies they represent, what the chapter GPAs is, etc.

I get what you mean about being a chameleon! For me that switch has always been around my latino friends vs everyone else, though. All of my black and white friends (especially the girls that were like sisters growing up) are basically the same in every way except for their opinion on Justin Bieber and One Direction.

Old_Row I'm assuming you go to 'Bama, and if so, I'm jealous. I actually posted this thread because of an article I read about a girl like me that rushed at your school. The last thing on my mind when it comes to getting involved with greek life is dating. However, if I found out that greeks didn't want me to date a white guy because "it didn't look right" I'm not sure if I could handle that. I have strict parents, and some of my older southern family is/was pretty set in their ways. None of them ever gave me a problem for dating a guy of a different race, though.

Katmandu and Missouri Ivy I'm a little worried about my age, but like I said in my first post, if people ask me why I'm a little older, sharing won't be a problem at all. Oh! From reading around, I've figured out how smart you GC users are. I've probably given enough away by now, but oh well. At my current school I hold office in a very time consuming and involved organization. Again, this is why I'm drawn to Panhels! Being a leader/involved is something I actually care a lot about. I just don't talk about what I do at school a lot because it feels arrogant and self-absorbed. Other people out there do much more amazing stuff than me.

tld221 It is the type of hazing that I've (personally) been warned against that has me kind of scared of D9. You're right about PR and connections, though. I guess physical violence isn't limited to one race over another. But I'm a kickboxer. Literally. If you hit me, I'm going to return the favor faster than someone can say "sisterhood". Fighting outside of the gym just feels classless and detrimental to my education/future on all levels though, which is why I want to avoid that situation entirely. I have never been in a physical altercation at school or anything like that, and that's something that shouldn't change!

KDCat thank you! You're sweet. Being sheltered isn't a problem for me at all. I've had a girl come up to me before at camp and ask me where I got my tan because she was sick of being orange. People have a heart attack when they see my hair after I go swimming/get caught in the rain/shower and don't blow dry it. And of course, I've seen people say things that were harmless but not in the best taste in general. The way I see it, we're humans, and we all make mistakes. I don't pretend to know everything! Before I was 18, for example, I didn't have any Muslim friends. Life is a learning process. I just hope I'm lucky enough to find a sorority that is open enough ask me anything they might be curious about, you know? I wouldn't want my future sisters to feel as if they have to change who they are around me.

Happy 4th, everyone! I hope you all have an amazing day

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by kayfaith

Thank you all for taking the time to reply!

UVA17 - The D9 members in my family have told me to stay away because of hazing, too. D9 sororities and fraternities have such rich history as well. I just hate that they don't have formal or informal recruitment information avaliable. Were I to skip rushing for a Panhel in hopes of some type of NPC winter recruitment, I'd be really disappointed if it didn't work out. I guess when you think about it, some of the traditions aren't that different (stepping vs. skits?) and I definitely understand why D9s are historically important. I'm just drawn to the other more because I like being able to see exactly how involved they are on campus, exactly which philanthropies they represent, what the chapter GPAs is, etc.

I think you're just not interested in NPHC sororities, and that's okay. But you can't really say you prefer one because they give you more information than the other.... that's kind of... I don't know, not really accurate. The information is there, it's just not presented in the same manner.

I think your families just tell you about the hazing because they know you wouldn't fit in an NPHC org -- and you know you wouldn't fit, either, and that's fine.

[kayfaith]

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge

I think you're just not interested in NPHC sororities, and that's okay. But you can't really say you prefer one because they give you more information than the other.... that's kind of... I don't know, not really accurate. The information is there, it's just not presented in the same manner.

I think your families just tell you about the hazing because they know you wouldn't fit in an NPHC org -- and you know you wouldn't fit, either, and that's fine.

You're probably right about my family. I know that NPHC or not, greek organizations have that element of secrecy. I do not believe I'm entitled to excessive information. The five D9 members I know all seem so vague when I ask questions, though! It's not like I unleash my full petulant journalist potential on them either. My main question is always "how was your chapter involved in your campus?" or something about philanthropy, which I did not think was exclusive to one type of GLO.

Also the whole "they'll come to you" advice that I keep getting from family/ex-mentors is just, well, confusing.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by kayfaith

You're probably right about my family. I know that NPHC or not, greek organizations have that element of secrecy. I do not believe I'm entitled to excessive information. The five D9 members I know all seem so vague when I ask questions, though! It's not like I unleash my full petulant journalist potential on them either. My main question is always "how was your chapter involved in your campus?" or something about philanthropy, which I did not think was exclusive to one type of GLO.

Some NPHC members have the idea about NPHC membership this way: "If you're in, then you know. If you're not in, then you don't need to know."

NPHC orgs are involved in philanthropy - we just call it by a different name, community service. That is probably why you are getting this look from your NPHC family members. Ask them about their community service projects. Or, better yet, look up the community service projects of the D9 orgs on their international websites.

That's another philosophy behind D9 membership - if you want to be a member you will do your own research to gain knowledge, and not ask anyone questions you should be able to figure out on your own.

Also the whole "they'll come to you" advice that I keep getting from family/ex-mentors is just, well, confusing.

Back in the day, early 1960's, when my mom was an undergrad, the DST chapter on her campus (Texas Southern Univ.) would invite a young lady to membership by tapping her on the shoulder. Up until the early 1990's, a person could not become a member of a D9 org, or 'pledge', until their sophomore year in school. So that meant the D9 chapter had a year to 'check you out', so to speak. If they liked what they saw, you were extended an invitation to membership, if they did not like what they saw, then you never got the invite.

For the most part, the way D9 orgs handle membership today is there are about 2 -3 open invitation information sessions. There you will leave your contact information. If the chapter is truly interested in you, then you will be invited to a closed (invitation only) information session. If the interest is still mutual, then you will be given the specific information for membership. Usually, at this point you are given information about dues and MIP (membership intake process).

I think the big difference you see between NPC and NPHC is how we handle our recruitment process.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Some NPHC members have the idea about NPHC membership this way: "If you're in, then you know. If you're not in, then you don't need to know."

NPHC orgs are involved in philanthropy - we just call it by a different name, community service. That is probably why you are getting this look from your NPHC family members. Ask them about their community service projects. Or, better yet, look up the community service projects of the D9 orgs on their international websites.

That's another philosophy behind D9 membership - if you want to be a member you will do your own research to gain knowledge, and not ask anyone questions you should be able to figure out on your own.



Back in the day, early 1960's, when my mom was an undergrad, the DST chapter on her campus (Texas Southern Univ.) would invite a young lady to membership by tapping her on the shoulder. Up until the early 1990's, a person could not become a member of a D9 org, or 'pledge', until their sophomore year in school. So that meant the D9 chapter had a year to 'check you out', so to speak. If they liked what they saw, you were extended an invitation to membership, if they did not like what they saw, then you never got the invite.

For the most part, the way D9 orgs handle membership today is there are about 2 -3 open invitation information sessions. There you will leave your contact information. If the chapter is truly interested in you, then you will be invited to a closed (invitation only) information session. If the interest is still mutual, then you will be given the specific information for membership. Usually, at this point you are given information about dues and MIP (membership intake process).

I think the big difference you see between NPC and NPHC is how we handle our recruitment process.

Great explanation!

[DubaiSis]

If you are actively trying to find a new university home, I think I'd get on the stick and do it as soon as possible. It's possible that you could get in to some schools already this fall, couldn't you? Transferring schools is fine if 1-you can't afford four years at the school you want or 2-you are somewhere and are really just not happy, but doing it as a plan doesn't seem like the best choice. Of course, you haven't said why after this year you will be able to transfer. Maybe it's a family issue?

As a Big 10 rep (Go Hawks!) I can't imagine being of mixed race would be an issue. Back in my day (a LONG time ago), we were excited to expand the gene pool, so to speak. Who wants 100 blonde friends?

[kayfaith]

DubaiSis it is a family issue, but also an issue of commitment. I have a potential externship as well as a job that I have to see through to the end. Also, I will have my Associate's degree when I transfer by sticking this year out. Since I'm so into OOS schools it'll make transferring in as a junior a lot easier. I agree with you though, I do need to pick my top 5 soon. I plan on applying by the end of the fall semester, so I should have time to use my resources for financial aid thoroughly before I make the switch. Thanks for replying! Your school seems fun.

[DubaiSis]

NOT that this is any guarantee, but you might pay attention to schools where there will be a new colony next year. Juniors and seniors are wanted in new chapters to balance out the membership. They also want women with excellent leadership cred.
Now, not all schools who could be expanding in 14/15 have decided to do so (in fact most haven't) but there are some schools who seem more ripe for expansion than others.

[kayfaith]

Thanks so much for that explanation, DubaiSis.

sigmadiva I agree with Titchou, that was really informative, so thank you as well. I kind of want to -facepalm- after that. I literally research everything, so it was probably really obtuse of me to not realize that I could check the national org websites.

[tld221]

I <3 Soror sigmadiva! And Sen and ASTalumna06 for saying what I was thinking.

Kayfaith: I'm sure the overarching theme you're getting from all of us across the Greek spectrum is: do you, whatever color/age/class standing you are.

(The advice on looking at schools that are colonizing is an interesting tidbit. Not that your know when an NPHC chapter was chartering on a new campus, but I wonder if you g women transfer to schools hoping they'll be part of a chartering line.)

[GammaGirl1908]

Chiming in to say that although I eventually decided to join an NPHC after college, I did consider joining an NPC during college (at a Big 10 school), and I had many friends of a range of races in NPC orgs while a student. So, I do have an inkling of your considerations. (I also am not biracial, but I was raised in a predominantly white atmosphere, so I know **exactly** what you mean with the acting white / acting black terminology, ungraceful though it may be. Sigh.)

Anyway, the point I wanted to emphasize is the one made upthread that if you are otherwise an excellent candidate, and yet your heritage -- or anything else about you -- is a problem, that means that organization is not your greek home. You don't WANT to be there if they don't want you there. Simple as that.

Whether you want to be there and whether they want you there is exactly what you'll discover while you're going through the process of choosing -- and being chosen by -- your organization. To me, deciding which org to join is not about NPC vs NPHC; after all, there are plenty of non-black members of NPHC orgs and there are plenty of non-white members of NPC orgs (and note that plenty of black people have no desire to be part of an NPHC, and plenty of white people have no desire to be part of an NPC). Instead, it's about finding the place where you really want to be, and that also really wants you to be there ... regardless of the makeup of the org OR your heritage.

Having both sides of that equation in balance is the most important factor.

Side note: Also, if I can give you a teeny piece of advice for life ... I really recommend avoiding starting sentences with "This may be a stupid question, but..." It ranks up there (down there?) with "No offense, but ..." and "Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Own your statement, or if it really IS offensive or stupid, rethink or rephrase it.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by GammaGirl1908

Side note: Also, if I can give you a teeny piece of advice for life ... I really recommend avoiding starting sentences with "This may be a stupid question, but..." It ranks up there (down there?) with "No offense, but ..." and "Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Own your statement, or if it really IS offensive or stupid, rethink or rephrase it.

Received similar advice from a professor: never disclaim your words (in reference to your writing). If you're bold enough to write/type it, own it.

[kayfaith]

Originally Posted by GammaGirl1908

Side note: Also, if I can give you a teeny piece of advice for life ... I really recommend avoiding starting sentences with "This may be a stupid question, but..." It ranks up there (down there?) with "No offense, but ..." and "Don't take this the wrong way, but..." Own your statement, or if it really IS offensive or stupid, rethink or rephrase it.

Definitely noted. Thank you.

The whole "be yourself" sentiment that everyone has offered so far is reassuring, too.