Asking girls if they want to COB, without coming on too strong?

[tld221]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

^^^^^^OMG. This is a really big thing with my volunteer role as well.

I work with a chapter who has NEVER done COR. EVER.

This year, their university raised total.

It has been really interesting explaining the concept of "you need to make friends with women" to them.

My favorite response to that "but I'm a sophomore/junior/senior, I don't know anyone except other Sigmas!" or "Everyone I know is a junior/senior and they don't have time to join."

Your class standing is not an excuse. Unless you NEVER go to your classes, eat in the cafeterias, go to the gym, etc. you KNOW tons more unaffiliated women than you think you do.

NPHC swerve:

Most of our UG membership is invited to membership as upperclassmen, which ideally cuts out that "all my friends are my sisters/Sorors" feeling. Most NPHC Greeks are also involved in a bunch of stuff as upperclassmen before membership as well-you just balance it out.

With respect to COB/R... Ill only speak for Sigma, but it's rare that a woman, interested or not, is going to feel "rushed." Introducing you (or getting you acquainted) is going to be personal and direct, but from the beginning Im aiming to earn your friendship first.

I compare it to the difference between (lord am I dating myself) being a contestant on Singled Out or The Bachelor (hell even Flavor of Love) and navigating the dating world on your own (courting and building a relationship, them mutually deciding what's best).

Even for the NPHC orgs that have larger pools of candidates showing interest...like COB, those candidates would've had at least one opportunity to connect with a member one on one. I highly doubt an interest shows up to one of our rushes not having make a connection with a member or introducing themselves for the first time to everyone.*

But...I'm just telling you what you may already know.

*of course varies by campus, region and org.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by tld221

NPHC swerve:

Most of our UG membership is invited to membership as upperclassmen, which ideally cuts out that "all my friends are my sisters/Sorors" feeling. Most NPHC Greeks are also involved in a bunch of stuff as upperclassmen before membership as well-you just balance it out.

With respect to COB/R... Ill only speak for Sigma, but it's rare that a woman, interested or not, is going to feel "rushed." Introducing you (or getting you acquainted) is going to be personal and direct, but from the beginning Im aiming to earn your friendship first.

I compare it to the difference between (lord am I dating myself) being a contestant on Singled Out or The Bachelor (hell even Flavor of Love) and navigating the dating world on your own (courting and building a relationship, them mutually deciding what's best).

Even for the NPHC orgs that have larger pools of candidates showing interest...like COB, those candidates would've had at least one opportunity to connect with a member one on one. I highly doubt an interest shows up to one of our rushes not having make a connection with a member or introducing themselves for the first time to everyone.*

But...I'm just telling you what you may already know.

*of course varies by campus, region and org.

They need to bring back Singled Out.

That is all.

[IrishLake]

Singled out without Chris Hardwick though. Dude is still a douche and I have to tolerate him when I watch Talking Dead every week.

This is a good thread. The group I advise does something similar. (We don't hold COB events, they are invitation only).

[KDCat]

I belonged to a chapter that was in the middle of open recruitment all the time.

Stuff that worked:

1. Holding study groups at the house and invite the women you would like to COR to study with your group.

2. Dinner. Our recruitment budget/food budget included space for inviting PNMs to dinner. We just told the recruitment chair that we were bringing someone to one dinner and that she was a PNM. Our cook was always way better than the dorms.

3. Every sister should belong to at least one outside organization. No one should ever say "But the only people I know are my sisters!" Cheer-leading, theater, band, sports, professional organizations, Bible study, Neuman Center, whatever, are a great way to meet PNMs who you have something in common with.

[ringojackson]

Thanks for all the ideas! I'm on spring break now, but when I get back to school I'm going to really try to get to know the girl a little more and sort of befriend her while we're working on the project.

[DGTess]

I simply cannot recommend this post at Fraternal Musings highly enough.

You're already so far through the process ...