Mom involvement behind the scenes?

[DoctorD]

I've now gotten to an age that when I go help any Alpha Gam chapter with recruitment I'm asked "whose mom are you?" Never mind that my oldest child is in high school.

Moms are more than welcome to help with food and decorations in my experience. They are not present for any voting, or anything that is ritual related.

Frankly, many chapters near me couldn't do it without mom/alumnae help.

[carnation]

And frankly, I know several moms who go to help their daughters' chapters with a vengeance! They are star mom helpers--because their own chapters cut their daughters.

[Ladybugmom]

Originally Posted by carnation

And frankly, I know several moms who go to help their daughters' chapters with a vengeance! They are star mom helpers--because their own chapters cut their daughters.

This is very true...

[tootiepie2]

My daughters chapter has a very active mothers club. They halp in the kitchen during rush week. Of course they do not go out of the kitchen and have no contct with PMN's or even members. I helped one year but there were so many alums there I felt kind of in the way. We also decoroate the house for bid day,fall/ halloween, and Christmas. Each semester we have a special treat night after one of ther chapter meetings. We organize a mother daughter luncheonin the spring with a silent auction. All money raised is used to purchase something special for the house. One year I believe we bought a wide screen TV and a cabinet for it. I believe we were recognized at Phi Mu's convention as one of the top mothers clubs. We are very involved with the chapter but in no way do we have anything to do with any ritual/ membership private chapter matters.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Delta-adpi

What sort of role do moms of actives play during formal recruitment? Are they allowed inside the house during FR parties? Or do your moms simply bring up food before and then after the party schedule? I am not sure it sits well with me to have non-initiated moms in the house during such sensitive processes. Am I just overreacting?

I would say that basically if your house/rush is so huge that you need mom involvement to make things work, your house is probably also huge enough that the moms can be comfortably cloistered away from actually interacting with any rushees, or from any room where voting takes place.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I would say that basically if your house/rush is so huge that you need mom involvement to make things work, your house is probably also huge enough that the moms can be comfortably cloistered away from actually interacting with any rushees, or from any room where voting takes place.

LOL you guys are always wondering how we make the 1000+ PNM recruitment work down south.....

[ADPiEE]

Question..
When my daughter goes through recruitment, can I still assist my chapter at that campus?

Also, if your daughter wants to join your group, is it better for her to go through Formal recruitment or COB? I'm not even really sure how COB works since its been so long. Do all groups do COB?

[lyrica9]

ADPiEE - I'm not sure if it was school/chapter specific, but we politely asked alum moms of PNMs to not volunteer during recruitment.

Your other questions would depend on the school.

[DoctorD]

Originally Posted by ADPiEE

Question..
When my daughter goes through recruitment, can I still assist my chapter at that campus?

Also, if your daughter wants to join your group, is it better for her to go through Formal recruitment or COB? I'm not even really sure how COB works since its been so long. Do all groups do COB?

All groups do not COB. Formal recruitment is likely the best way to go, with an open mind to all chapters available at that campus. Legacies are not guaranteed anywhere. I can name a number of chapters with more legacies than quota going through recruitment.

Can you assist? Likely. Should you is the better question.

I have helped out many years at my home chapter, but if my daughter goes through recruitment at that school, that will be one year I don't help. I will already be a nutcase at home - the last thing I would want to do is impose that level of nervousness on my sisters or my daughter. I also don't want anyone thinking I'm trying to sway the process - particularly my daughter. I want it to be her decision, and I will support her and celebrate any way that decision pans out. Please know I'm not saying you wouldn't do the same. Just speaking from my own perspective.

My $.02. Your mileage may vary.

[DubaiSis]

Maybe there's another chapter in your area you can volunteer with at that time?

And I'd never recommend choosing COB over formal without extenuating circumstances (you need to get your grades up, you physically can't be there, etc.). COB is a great alternative if you've missed out on formal for whatever reason, but I wouldn't choose it in lieu of formal. It's too risky and with quotas being what they are these days, I think depending on informal is a very risky idea.

[rockwallgreek]

I don't have a home chapter, because mine closed. Fast forward to 1997 and my oldest was a PNM. I sweat some blood and tears through that recruitment and finally, just before bid cards were signed, said "if being part of the greek system is most important, list all options available.". She didn't. I was part of the volunteer service team at the time, so I was being very panhellenic. She chose to suicide and the next day I was so proud to call her sister. 2 years later, at the same school, daughter #2 went through. I was still panhellenic. She wanted to be an XY. OK, I just stayed out of those conversations and let her talk to her dad. I couldn't be NPC. Next year, # 3 went through. Iwas no longer VST, but would have never suggested that she tell the pres of XY that she didn't care... Now, all three are my sisters. Then came #4. I warned her that she would probably be cut from XY and AB. Why carry her when it was obvious? She is also my sister. The other two did invite her back to pref, still not sure why I helped a lot during those years, but I also gave up my VST position because it was just too awkward to be a mom/alum/VST member. Every year there were hurt feelings because I was at Initiation and their moms were't. The mom's from other GLOs are the best!

[Pearly]

I have helped in the kitchen during recruitment at my D's house and there are very detailed and specific rules ( 12+ pages) about what we can and cannot do. We have no interaction with the pnm's and must stay out of sight. The parents are all gone before any membership selection occurs. I honestly don't know how it could be pulled off without help. There are many alum's involved as well but my D's house has no actives in the kitchen so they need 20 or so helpers each day of recruitment and double that for pref

[ADPiEE]

Originally Posted by lyrica9

ADPiEE - I'm not sure if it was school/chapter specific, but we politely asked alum moms of PNMs to not volunteer during recruitment.

Your other questions would depend on the school.

Thanks for all the feedback Recruitment has changed so much from my day so this is really helpful information! I totally see your points.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by rockwallgreek

I don't have a home chapter, because mine closed. Fast forward to 1997 and my oldest was a PNM. I sweat some blood and tears through that recruitment and finally, just before bid cards were signed, said "if being part of the greek system is most important, list all options available.". She didn't. I was part of the volunteer service team at the time, so I was being very panhellenic. She chose to suicide and the next day I was so proud to call her sister. 2 years later, at the same school, daughter #2 went through. I was still panhellenic. She wanted to be an XY. OK, I just stayed out of those conversations and let her talk to her dad. I couldn't be NPC. Next year, # 3 went through. Iwas no longer VST, but would have never suggested that she tell the pres of XY that she didn't care... Now, all three are my sisters. Then came #4. I warned her that she would probably be cut from XY and AB. Why carry her when it was obvious? She is also my sister. The other two did invite her back to pref, still not sure why I helped a lot during those years, but I also gave up my VST position because it was just too awkward to be a mom/alum/VST member. Every year there were hurt feelings because I was at Initiation and their moms were't. The mom's from other GLOs are the best!

I'm really, really confused by this whole post.

[IL Anchor Girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I'm really, really confused by this whole post.

Thank you, I thought it was just me (after I read it for the 3rd time). Maybe the OP can clarify?