Just Spring COBed, feel really disconnected

[DubaiSis]

The good news is it sounds like your chapter is doing a great job with you and trying their best not to overwhelm. They may be failing at that, but at least they're trying!

Do reach out to your pledge sisters. It may be a small group, but all the more reason to hang on to each other. And life lesson #486, you will be making those awkward, hey, I'm DubaiSis and I'm in your pledge class. Want to go to coffee? conversations a lot in your life. Getting more comfortable with it now is a good thing.

[melindawarren]

I'm glad to hear that everything's going well!

Originally Posted by etadrisophila

Frostique:

It is ok and normal to be nervous - however, think about it- you are a great communicator via the written word- you will be just as great via the spoken word.

Have a great evening and let us know how things go tonight!

I know that you're trying to make a point, but I have to say that (and I don't know frostique) not everyone who communicates brilliantly on the internet or in writing is an excellent speaker. They're very different skills, and conversation relies on the ability to pull out fast responses that are directly related to what the other person says.

Again, nothing to do with the OP, but it's really not always the case.

[frostique]

Originally Posted by melindawarren

I'm glad to hear that everything's going well!



I know that you're trying to make a point, but I have to say that (and I don't know frostique) not everyone who communicates brilliantly on the internet or in writing is an excellent speaker. They're very different skills, and conversation relies on the ability to pull out fast responses that are directly related to what the other person says.

Again, nothing to do with the OP, but it's really not always the case.

I totally know what you mean haha. In professional settings, like interviews or presentations, people tell me I seem really well-spoken and in control of myself. But when it's personal/casual conversation with someone I don't really know, I sometimes start to get a little uncomfortable. Because then it's more "CRAP what do I say to make this person like me" haha.

[LAblondeGPhi]

frostique - It sounds like you have such a good head on your shoulders, and that you've joined a great group of women. I wanted to add my two cents of encouragment:

1) I agree that formal recruitment (as a sister, recruiting others) is one of the most bond-tastic times for a chapter. Often it's when the previous year's new member classes really integrates with the older girls. So you have that to look forward to in the fall!

2) (I say this because many of us have experienced this in one way or another, and many new members post about said situations on these forums) In a chapter of 250, remember that not all of the sisters will know what's up as far as new COBs, and the new members from fall probably won't recognize all of the sisters yet anyway. If you ever have an encounter with a sister who seems less welcoming than others, she's probably a fall member who isn't sure if you're an older sister who came back from being abroad, an older member she just hasn't met yet, or a visitor to the house, etc. Confusion will happen at some point, so don't take it as any kind of reflection on you.

3) Formal recruitment will be a great time to build those conversation skills! I think that recruitment practice was the single most beneficial activity in my life for building those skills.

4) Ask your new member educator about what activities are coming up, and make an effort to go to them! Social events are always fun, but the activities where you get to know the sisters better are study marathons, sisterhood activities, IM sports games (playing or just cheering), studying/watching tv at the house, skit/competition preparation (Greek Week, Spring Fling, LipSync, etc.)

Good luck! I think you're going to have a great time!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by frostique

I totally know what you mean haha. In professional settings, like interviews or presentations, people tell me I seem really well-spoken and in control of myself. But when it's personal/casual conversation with someone I don't really know, I sometimes start to get a little uncomfortable. Because then it's more "CRAP what do I say to make this person like me" haha.

Introverts are often very good at public speaking, which surprises people, but it is a totally different type of task than 1-on-1 interaction.

[DubaiSis]

Straying off subject a smidge, one of my sisters dated a radio guy for awhile. He literally had groupies and was great on the radio, but man oh man was he a lousy conversationalist. The first time you met him he seemed really in tune with you, then after awhile you realized he was briefed on what you were into and could ONLY talk to you about that thing and brought it up over and over again like you're some one dimensional person with one interest in life. ACK.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by frostique

I totally know what you mean haha. In professional settings, like interviews or presentations, people tell me I seem really well-spoken and in control of myself. But when it's personal/casual conversation with someone I don't really know, I sometimes start to get a little uncomfortable. Because then it's more "CRAP what do I say to make this person like me" haha.

Me too! That's why I brought it up. I'm still learning how to make small talk and have a great conversation. But I'm very good at public speaking. Go figure. Point being, I completely get your situation, but you seem to be making the best of it.

[pbear19]

I'm the same as a couple of you - I have no problem with public speaking whatsoever, but still think that I am very awkward when it comes to conversational speaking. There's something about public speaking that just calms me down, takes away the pressure. Which is weird, because I know it's opposite for most people. I don't even mind unscripted public speaking, or having to come up with an impromptu response. (I'm in law school, and have no serious fear of the courtroom aspect of litigation, for example.)

But put me in a room where I have to socialize, and it takes a great effort of will to get started. Once I have been there for a bit and have relaxed, I'm ok, but I still get a decent amount of anxiety at first.

All that is beside the point. I really just wanted to post to tell the OP that I'm really glad things are looking up, and I'm excited for you to continue to get to know your sisters and find your niche within the sorority!!