Guidance

[AlphaFrog]

I am impressed by the maturity displayed by the OP. I don't really have anything to add other than good luck, and I sincerely hope things work out for you.

[FSUZeta]

drop. your reasons for dropping are sound, and legitimate, and it seems you have given it a great deal of thought. it also sounds like this particular chapter may be on the way to losing it's charter, and you wouldn't want to get caught up in that mess.

as others have noted, it is very unusual that the majority of us are urging you to drop. we usually try to help the op find a way to find some value in his/her membership, but not this time.

[nosnow2012]

Thank you all for your input.

I have decided to go through with depledging and will notify everyone next week. How much information would you all advise me to reveal about how I came to my decision. I realize some of my reasons for depledging could be considered offensive to brothers of this fraternity and the last thing I wish to do is to offend anyone.

Thanks again!
-Drew

[AlphaFrog]

I think this is definitely a "less is more" case. They don't need the messy details. Follow procedure, stay polite and graciously exit. You can leave it at "I just don't think I'm a good fit for this chapter, but I was honored to get to know you all". Something to that effect. Then, once you're out, avoid saying anything negative about them. You've given us no indication that you would do otherwise, though, so good luck, and hopefully things work out well for you!

[DubaiSis]

This is is also a good one to learn for real life. When you quit a job, you don't have to give them every bitch and moan and you don't have to tell them where you're going. That bit me in the ass one time. I liked the old employer so I was open about what I was doing. I didn't see the new job as competition, but they did and made me get out right then (so as not to steal client lists I suppose). It made me sad that I couldn't have a friendlier break and could have if I'd just kept my trap shut.

[nosnow2012]

Hi again,

I have just contacted the fraternity to notify them of my decision. They have accepted my decision, but the Chapter Advisor asked if I'd like to meet with him to discuss the the situation. I'm not sure if it would be wise of me to agree to meet as he is expecting me to give the in-depth details of how I arrived at my decision.

I've talked to a few of my pledge brothers about my decision and they were sad to hear I was leaving, but wanted me to hangout whenever I could. I just feel like if I meet with the Advisor and reveal everything I could wind up making some enemies through the grape vine. I'm looking for a clean break to get on with the rest of my college career. What would you guys suggest I do?

[AlphaFrog]

I don't honestly see any good coming out of meeting with the advisor. If the chapter is as far into the things you've described, you'd sadly probably hurt yourself more than you'd help the chapter by reporting it. Any changes that the advisor would try to make from the info her got from your meeting (assuming he doesn't know what's going on in the first place) is only going to cause resentment and animosity towards both of you. As much as I want to encourage you to "take a stand" and "do the right thing", I think it's best to make a clean, fast break.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I don't honestly see any good coming out of meeting with the advisor. If the chapter is as far into the things you've described, you'd sadly probably hurt yourself more than you'd help the chapter by reporting it. Any changes that the advisor would try to make from the info her got from your meeting (assuming he doesn't know what's going on in the first place) is only going to cause resentment and animosity towards both of you. As much as I want to encourage you to "take a stand" and "do the right thing", I think it's best to make a clean, fast break.

agreed! decline his offer to meet.

[nosnow2012]

I'm having trouble wording a response to the Advisor in which I don't sound selfish in my decision. Any more guidance? You guys have been extremely helpful.

[jazing]

Is this Advisor an alumni of the chapter, or someone from nationals? Perhaps if it is someone from nationals and not the chapter itself (as in having a large commitment to his previous chapter) it might do some good to talk to the advisor.

[nosnow2012]

This advisor is an alumnus from this particular chapter. Not a national advisor.

[WCsweet<3]

Dear (Advisor's name),

Dropping has not been an easy decision for meI have spent a great deal of time weighing the pro's and con's of my decision. Further guidance in the decision is not needed although I appreciate your reaching out to me. I hope to remain friends with the chapter and to not create any ill will.

Sincerely,
Nosnow2012


or something like that.
Make it obvious that this wasn't an easy decision or just a whim. I believe you still want to be friends with many of the guys in the chapter and didn't want rumors going around, so put in little details, but make it obvious that you have made your decision.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by WCsweet<3

Dear (Advisor's name),

Dropping has not been an easy decision for meI have spent a great deal of time weighing the pro's and con's of my decision. Further guidance in the decision is not needed although I appreciate your reaching out to me. I hope to remain friends with the chapter and to not create any ill will.

Sincerely,
Nosnow2012


or something like that.
Make it obvious that this wasn't an easy decision or just a whim. I believe you still want to be friends with many of the guys in the chapter and didn't want rumors going around, so put in little details, but make it obvious that you have made your decision.

THIS! (Except please don't abuse apostrophes in "pros and cons". )

[FSUZeta]

good suggestion WCSweet.

[WCsweet<3]

My bad with the apostrophes. I've never been that great when it comes to those. Actually grammar has never been my strong suit.