Rejected Candidate and Prominent Family Member at Institution

[BadCat25]

At this point it doesn't matter why they didn't give you a bid. The fact is that they didn't. You must let it go and move on. Don't try to rerush these guys. Drop them completely. Never have anything to do with them ever again. See if you can join another fraternity, if that is even possible at this point. If not, become involved in a student organization and leave greek life behind.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

At this point it doesn't matter why they didn't give you a bid. The fact is that they didn't. You must let it go and move on. Don't try to rerush these guys. Drop them completely. Never have anything to do with them ever again. See if you can join another fraternity, if that is even possible at this point. If not, become involved in a student organization and leave greek life behind.

Okay, thank you.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

At this point it doesn't matter why they didn't give you a bid. The fact is that they didn't. You must let it go and move on. Don't try to rerush these guys. Drop them completely. Never have anything to do with them ever again. See if you can join another fraternity, if that is even possible at this point. If not, become involved in a student organization and leave greek life behind.

Agree 100%. As much as it hurts to be in your situation, but that's the truth. I really wish you all the best. I promise, this too shall pass, even though it stings right now.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Agree 100%. As much as it hurts to be in your situation, but that's the truth. I really wish you all the best. I promise, this too shall pass, even though it stings right now.

Thanks. I guess it felt like a bad rejectance at best, betrayal at worst, even though they didn't have to (or need to) guarantee me a bid (although they did do that for some freshmen).

I will probably go through rushing again and look at other opportunities. Like I said before, maybe I'll re-look at the other fraternity that I passed up on as well as some of the other fraternities I didn't get to know well. I guess I'll also cut down on the specifics so I don't look like I'm trying to do any spying or anything like that. However, I'll playing the field as a Junior now instead of a Sophomore.

[DTD Alum]

Perhaps the problem was that you spent most of the time asking them about what they liked about the fraternity, their pledge process, etc. While those are good questions to ask, it really shines no light on how you get along with them. The rushees we loved always bonded with us talking about something that interested the brothers...sports, politics, music, business, girls, movies, whatever.

At the end of the day, instead of trying to find excuses, it could just be because you didn't get along with the brothers and didn't have a lot in common with them. If all you did was talk about their process, you really have no legitimate gauge on if you have anything in common with them.

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by Macintosh

Thanks. I guess it felt like a bad rejectance at best, betrayal at worst, even though they didn't have to (or need to) guarantee me a bid (although they did do that for some freshmen).

I will probably go through rushing again and look at other opportunities. Like I said before, maybe I'll re-look at the other fraternity that I passed up on as well as some of the other fraternities I didn't get to know well. I guess I'll also cut down on the specifics so I don't look like I'm trying to do any spying or anything like that. However, I'll playing the field as a Junior now instead of a Sophomore.

not a word, but I think I may use it from now on. Is rejectance the masculine form of rejectment?

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

Perhaps the problem was that you spent most of the time asking them about what they liked about the fraternity, their pledge process, etc. While those are good questions to ask, it really shines no light on how you get along with them. The rushees we loved always bonded with us talking about something that interested the brothers...sports, politics, music, business, girls, movies, whatever.

At the end of the day, instead of trying to find excuses, it could just be because you didn't get along with the brothers and didn't have a lot in common with them. If all you did was talk about their process, you really have no legitimate gauge on if you have anything in common with them.

That's true. It could just be that overall, I kind of thought that I had a lot in common when in reality, there were not that much things in common. I mean, I guess it was somewhat hard for me to gauge what they really liked and tune into it. I mean besides video games and some TV shows, I didn't get to use some of what I like in common. I could have easily brought up what I liked, but I kind of took a more passive, jump into the conversation look, than a "hey this is what I like" in certain situations.

@angels&angles The same rules that apply to acceptance applies to rejectance.

Once again, thanks for the info and advice. I'll mull it over, but it seems like if I'm going to join a GLO, I need to find something that's more to my style. However, I wanted to use one of the Fraternities to explore a more balanced style and I don't think I can directly achieve it by just saying "Hey, you guys look cool, maybe I should join you" approach.

[angels&angles]

I like your logic, but acception isn't a word and neither is rejectance.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Is rejectance the masculine form of rejectment?

Originally Posted by Macintosh

@angels&angles The same rules that apply to acceptance applies to rejectance.

I don't know about you, but I've never heard of anyone receiving a rejectance letter before..

[FSUZeta]

it is always a possibility that you didn't receive a bid due to your prominent relative, but i know 4 nieces/nephews of a college president who did receive bids on the campus that their uncle served as president. in addition, i know a daughter attending the college where her father is president who had all the sororities vying for her when she went through rush. it is more about the individual, rather than their circumstance.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

it is always a possibility that you didn't receive a bid due to your prominent relative, but i know 4 nieces/nephews of a college president who did receive bids on the campus that their uncle served as president. in addition, i know a daughter attending the college where her father is president who had all the sororities vying for her when she went through rush. it is more about the individual, rather than their circumstance.

Hmm, thank you very much for the insight. I guess it lands more on me not conforming to their image of a brother.

[BadCat25]

I am going to give you some more tough love. Why would you want to join a chapter where you had to conform to their image of a brother rather than being the person that you are? When I went through sorority rush I wanted to join this one chapter so bad because I wanted to be just like them. When they cut me I was devastated and almost dropped out of rush but stuck it out and joined my sorority where I am probably a better fit. So as I said before, please let it go and move on. To continue to torture yourself about this does you zero good.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

I am going to give you some more tough love. Why would you want to join a chapter where you had to conform to their image of a brother rather than being the person that you are? When I went through sorority rush I wanted to join this one chapter so bad because I wanted to be just like them. When they cut me I was devastated and almost dropped out of rush but stuck it out and joined my sorority where I am probably a better fit. So as I said before, please let it go and move on. To continue to torture yourself about this does you zero good.

Thank you. I agree with what you said and you just reaffirmed what my parents said.

I did end up talking to one of the other brothers that I knew. Take it for face value : Apparently the ones that did like me and overall wanted me there, did stand up for me, and if it weren't for the one person leaving because of GPA, I could have had the scale tipped for me. Overall, there were not enough people to support me.

I do like these guys but I now understand that we can be friends, but we're not going to be brothers. They'll still invite me to parties and other functions, but I won't pledge under them to join their fraternity.

Thanks for all of the advice people! I truly appreciate it.

[BadCat25]

I just don't know what to say. This fraternity rejected you but you still want to be friends with them and attend their parties and functions? All this is going to do is prevent you from finding a group of people, possibly in another fraternity, who do like you and really want to be your friend. As is said before, let it go and move on. Dump these people and never ever have anything to do with them ever again.

[Macintosh]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

I just don't know what to say. This fraternity rejected you but you still want to be friends with them and attend their parties and functions? All this is going to do is prevent you from finding a group of people, possibly in another fraternity, who do like you and really want to be your friend. As is said before, let it go and move on. Dump these people and never ever have anything to do with them ever again.

No, the fraternity is still offering to invite me to go to their parties, they do this with people not in as well as those who drop. With that being said, it's best that I move on.