Recruiting Another Fraternity's Pledge - Page 2

lucgreek · #16 02-10-2011, 01:45 AM

I don't know your group's rules, but in mine, once someone rejects a bid (I'm assuming you gave these guys bids since you liked them so much), they have to be re-issued (and re-voted) a bid by the chapter. Membership selection is private, obviously, so I don't know what your group does. Have you discussed this with your chapter yet?

On my campus, it would cause a lot of drama if a pledge from one group and then immediately start pledging another. Your group could get the moniker of not being able to get their own guys so they have to steal pledges. On my campus, these sort of rumors linger for a long time. (Even more so if your group has had any recent membership struggles, "xyz needs to steal pledges just to survive")

If Nick can't handle the first few days of the pledging would he be able to handle yours? There were guys who I thought were assholes when I pledged, but ended up becoming really good friends with.

Personally, if I was in your chapter and you presented this situation, I'd vehemently take the no-bid stance. The guys already proved they're wishy-washy and joined for superficial reasons. They'll probably end up being members who occasionally show-up or members who quit a year or less after initiation.

Unless you're really hurting for members (and don't care about your reputation), I'd pass. Too much drama potential, no guarantee they'll be stellar members.

Personally I think you just have a big rush-crush still and are trying to convince yourself you can still get these guys. Let it go.

BemoreLXA · #17 02-10-2011, 05:07 AM

I'd say take them, but make sure your chapter can stand up to the backlash that comes with that. If you guys can't its a no go

AlphaFrog · #18 02-10-2011, 06:30 AM

Does the OP seem to be interested in "Nick" for a little more than a brother?

I really felt like I was reading something written by a girl about this guy she was crushing on. I dunno - that's the vibe I got, because guys just usually aren't that "into" their rushees.

Alumiyum · #19 02-10-2011, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BemoreLXA

I'd say take them, but make sure your chapter can stand up to the backlash that comes with that. If you guys can't its a no go

^This. Guys have switched from one fraternity to another as pledges on my campus, usually after being dropped and it doesn't cause that much drama, but I can very easily see how it could on some campuses. If it's worth it to your chapter to possibly receive some bad publicity from the other chapters on campus, do it. If not, don't.

LaneSig · #20 02-10-2011, 10:07 AM

#1 - If "Will" was given a bid to ABC, decides he made a mistake and wants to depledge, I don't believe the OP's organization can "re-bid"/bid him until next semester. At least that's how IFC worked on my campus.

#2- Have you talked to the officers/other members of your chapter? Are they willing to give "Will" a 2nd chance? He'll be totally screwed if he drops ABC to join EFG and EFG says, "You passed on us, we'll pass on you." You'll feel like a total d*** after encouraging him to drop his current group and then your group doesn't bid him.

#3 - Depending on the campus, for guys depledging one group and then pledging another group the next semester usually isn't that big of a deal. Off the top of my head, I can think of 2 of my chapter brothers who pledged other groups and realized that they made a mistake. Famously, David Letterman pledged Sig Ep at Ball State, then depledged and pledged Sigma Chi the next semester. I think Sig Ep got over it.

DeltaBetaBaby · #21 02-10-2011, 10:30 AM

Overall, I think the "next semester" aspect is important. If they drop now and join your group, that's probably bad news. I would think the best answer you could give them is "you are welcome to rush again next semester, and I can't promise you anything, but I would personally pull for you".

MysticCat · #22 02-10-2011, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

^^^You want to respect their privacy but started posting their real names halfway through?

I'm not even gonna say it.

Yeah, as soon as he slipped and said "Matt," I knew exactly who he was talking about.

christiangirl · #23 02-10-2011, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Yeah, as soon as he slipped and said "Matt," I knew exactly who he was talking about.

Oh hush.

Doesn't everyone always claim "Leave out details, that person might be reading this board?" And a few times, it happened (and were hilarious when those people posted in the thread).

sanjiyan69 · #24 02-10-2011, 12:07 PM

Just tell them to rush next semester when they are mentally ready. If they still wants to join, let them. It's fair game in the brand new semester in my book.

MaggieXi · #25 02-10-2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Does the OP seem to be interested in "Nick" for a little more than a brother?

I really felt like I was reading something written by a girl about this guy she was crushing on. I dunno - that's the vibe I got, because guys just usually aren't that "into" their rushees.

I'm with you on this one.

princessamy · #26 02-10-2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

I'm with you on this one.

I also agree. Most guys would just let it go.

lucgreek · #27 02-10-2011, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

I'm with you on this one.

Eh, I think that's a little unfair. I've seen similar posts from girls about rush crushes. I think he's convinced himself how great of guys they are and hasn't looked objectively at the situation.

Yeah most guys would let it go, but clearly he hasn't. I wouldn't read anything more into it than rush crush.

AlphaFrog · #28 02-10-2011, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucgreek

Eh, I think that's a little unfair. I've seen similar posts from girls about rush crushes. I think he's convinced himself how great of guys they are and hasn't looked objectively at the situation.

Yeah most guys would let it go, but clearly he hasn't. I wouldn't read anything more into it than rush crush.

Herein lies the distinction.

Also, that's assuming this poster is for realz to begin with, which I'm not ready to do yet.

lucgreek · #29 02-10-2011, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Herein lies the distinction.

Also, that's assuming this poster is for realz to begin with, which I'm not ready to do yet.

Eh, I guess we just see this from a different perspective. I think it's kind of an unfair double standard. I've seen worse from girls here and it was viewed as absolutely fine, but if it's a guy it has hints of some homo-erotic lust?

I mean, I definitely agree it's bordering on obsession with the OP. I just don't think it's any different than a girl obsessing over her rush crush.

Then again I'm a guy and never experienced any kind of rush crushing, so what do I know?

*insert debate about gender roles in society here*

Kevin · #30 02-10-2011, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moral Dilemma

Mine is one of them. You can even get punished for posting it on Facebook. I have been conditioned against saying it, but fortunately they can't find me on this website: RUSH RUSH RUSH RUSH RUSH RUSH

I am a fairly frequent GCer, but I wanted to respect the privacy of the people in the story and the other Chapter, so I made this fake profile. If you're still doubting me I would be more than happy to send you a PM.

First, take advice from NPCers with a grain of salt. The same rules do NOT apply with sororities.

Rush is really every man for himself. You can poach pledges until their initiates, and really, if anyone wants to bitch or moan about it, they shouldn't let their kids have reasons to drop.

If you think you can get this kid to pledge y'all, and think he's worth the effort, go for it.