How to get more friends in my sorority?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I was reading this and thinking are they seriously answering her? The last sentence in her post speaks volumes especially the need to specify "full" Black.

Hilarious. A "full" Black woman is able to rush and receive a bid but the "Sounds of Blackness" can't be overcome in the end.

They also shouldn't have answered it if she was "fully" white. You're either grown and capable of figuring some basic things out on your own or you aren't. If you aren't, please leave Greekdom to those who are. We don't raise children.

[33girl]

I saw the full Black part too but just decided to ignore it because I didn't even know what to say to that.

This apparently is a semi-common problem and I think it's because so many NPC groups make a point of not "separating" the pledges - but for a lot of women (especially in large chapters) pledgeship is the only time that they really get to stand out unless they're a superachiever type. When you get immediately integrated into a chapter and are allowed to do all the things initiated members do, it's easy to be overlooked (esp in large chapters).

[KSUViolet06]

Who allows NMs to do everything an initiated member does?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Who allows NMs to do everything an initiated member does?

There are some sororities (they've mentioned it on here) where NMs attend regular chapter meeting, etc. - everything but ritual. I'm not going to call them out.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Who allows NMs to do everything an initiated member does?

Outsider's perspective/

It seems like NMs in NPCs can do everything that initiated members do except wear crests and attend chapter meetings.

/outsider's perspective

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Outsider's perspective/

It seems like NMs in NPCs can do everything that initiated members do except wear crests and attend chapter meetings.

/outsider's perspective

I can't speak for everyone of course but that is not so for us.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I can't speak for everyone of course but that is not so for us.

Those are two of the things that stood out in the 23,042 "OMFG WHY ARE NPC/IFC/NPHC/NALFO/ABCDEFG ORGS SO DIFFERENT!?" threads.

[Miriverite]

Outsider's perspective/
It seems like NMs in NPCs can do everything that initiated members do except wear crests and attend chapter meetings.
/outsider's perspective

I wouldn't say necessarily "everything", but in a couple of the sororities on my campus, NMs are allowed in regular chapter meetings, but they can't be present for opening/closing and certain other rituals (candlepass, etc.)

[blueiris10]

Originally Posted by Miriverite

I wouldn't say necessarily "everything", but in a couple of the sororities on my campus, NMs are allowed in regular chapter meetings, but they can't be present for opening/closing and certain other rituals (candlepass, etc.)

^ most of the chapters on my campus are the same. i think it may be more common than some people think.

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by ladygreek

I was reading this and thinking are they seriously answering her? The last sentence in her post speaks volumes especially the need to specify "full" Black.

Ugh. I admit it. I did NOT see/read that line.

[caprice89]

The "full black" comment was that I am the only person in my sorority that is not Caucasian. However, one other girl is biracial.

I'll take the advice on trying to spend more time with different people and asking them out. Even though when I've tried doing this girls flake out on me. Even my big and my little both had problems keeping dates with me. It was frustrating especially since they were close and hung out with each other more than myself.

In my chapter, everyone is assigned to a committee by exec and I've never been assigned to a committee that I was really interested in.

Overall, I'm just saying there is a lot of favoritism going on and I want to find ways to overlook that and feel like I'm actually welcomed and part of the sisterhood.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by caprice89

The "full black" comment was that I am the only person in my sorority that is not Caucasian. However, one other girl is biracial.

I'll take the advice on trying to spend more time with different people and asking them out. Even though when I've tried doing this girls flake out on me. Even my big and my little both had problems keeping dates with me. It was frustrating especially since they were close and hung out with each other more than myself.

In my chapter, everyone is assigned to a committee by exec and I've never been assigned to a committee that I was really interested in.

Overall, I'm just saying there is a lot of favoritism going on and I want to find ways to overlook that and feel like I'm actually welcomed and part of the sisterhood.

OK, I don't think you actually read most of the posts. DON'T "ask people out" like it's the prom or something. If you're going to grab lunch, ask someone to go with you on the spur of the moment, but for the most part - just HANG OUT more. And go to ALL (including non-mandatory) events.

People finding more in common with one person than another is not "favortism." It's just simple friendship.

Regarding the committees, you've only been a full active in your sorority for a semester. It's the same concept as freshmen congressmen not getting the plum assignments the minute they get to DC. Even if it's something that bores you, MAKE THE BEST OF IT!

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by caprice89

The "full black" comment was that I am the only person in my sorority that is not Caucasian. However, one other girl is biracial.

I'll take the advice on trying to spend more time with different people and asking them out. Even though when I've tried doing this girls flake out on me. Even my big and my little both had problems keeping dates with me. It was frustrating especially since they were close and hung out with each other more than myself.

In my chapter, everyone is assigned to a committee by exec and I've never been assigned to a committee that I was really interested in.

Overall, I'm just saying there is a lot of favoritism going on and I want to find ways to overlook that and feel like I'm actually welcomed and part of the sisterhood.

Stop being insecure and awkward. Before you can be happy/secure with a group of women, you've got to be happy/secure with yourself. Don't forget that your sorority wanted you or else you wouldn't have gotten a bid in the first place. A sorority isn't the place to be withdrawn and meek. You have to put yourself out there and not be so caught up with what you perceive as favoritism. When you exhibit confidence and joy in being a member, others will see it. Plus, if there really is favoritism going on, let them know it doesn't affect you by having a great time anyway.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by caprice89

The "full black" comment was that I am the only person in my sorority that is not Caucasian. However, one other girl is biracial.

So I take it she is "fully" accepted? What is your relationship with her? What about your other pledge class sisters? Me thinks there is more to this story.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by caprice89

The "full black" comment was that I am the only person in my sorority that is not Caucasian. However, one other girl is biracial.

I'll take the advice on trying to spend more time with different people and asking them out. Even though when I've tried doing this girls flake out on me. Even my big and my little both had problems keeping dates with me. It was frustrating especially since they were close and hung out with each other more than myself.

In my chapter, everyone is assigned to a committee by exec and I've never been assigned to a committee that I was really interested in.

Overall, I'm just saying there is a lot of favoritism going on and I want to find ways to overlook that and feel like I'm actually welcomed and part of the sisterhood.

Caprice89: How big is your chapter?

PS. You posted last fall that you dropped out of recruitment and was interested in COR. I'm assuming that you did join?

Originally Posted by caprice89

I'm a sophomore and I went through formal recruitment this year and at the end I was very confused and overwhelmed with my experience. No one in my family is Greek and I had no idea what to do at the end of the last round. So, I withdrew out of recruitment and was advised to do informal.

Well, now I really regret that decision because I really really really want to go Greek and I'm afraid that now I won't ever get to join a sorority. I want to do informal but I have no idea where to start, who to ask questions, and how can I try to get in touch with the sororities I'm interested in without seeming like I'm creepy? The ones I want to see are the ones that preffed me so I'm sure it won't be a huge problem if I got in touch with them but... I have no idea where to begin.

Can any of you help guide me in the right direction?

Originally Posted by caprice89

They weren't my original choice and I was afraid and very emotional.
I went through the whole recruitment process except I didn't do the last vote.

It was a very quick decision and the pi chi who told me about informal recruitment who told me she would give more more info hasn't done so. So, I feel like I've been forgotten and was given bad advice. When I could have just finished, got a bid, and not be so depressed right now

Then, you were upset about stereotypes:

Originally Posted by caprice89

So ever since I've joined a sorority I've been paying attention to how people talk about them. I'm getting this feeling that the only sororities that people care about is the ones that have the most attractive girls. I'm starting to feel very self conscious because I've been reading so much stuff that says a good pledge class or house is a sexy one.

I know I shouldn't be worried about this but if I knew this before I probably wouldn't have done it.