Rushing again

[als463]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

If you are on a competitive campus where the chapters usually take mostly freshmen, chances are you already had your best chance of getting a bid to a sorority that's "good enough" for you. Now you'll be away for an entire semester so you have no more opportunities to make a good impression and unless some of those sorority girls are now your besties, they won't care about you come formal. You will never know unless you actually go through recruitment, but my Magic Eight Ball predicts:

I couldn't have said it any better, myself. If you have already determined that you are "too good" to take a bid from one of the other two sororities on campus (on a very competitive campus), please safe yourself the time and just don't rush. If you are looking at recruitment with your nose in the air, you don't deserve sisterhood. You've already determined who is good enough and who isn't. Don't waste the time of incredible women who could potentially be your support systems for the rest of your life if you are just going to turn them down. Don't bother.

Thank you for your feedback and I do understand where you are coming from. I really don't want to waste my time or the sisterhood's times but I definitely do not think I am "too good" for any of the sororities on my campus! Gosh no!! I just do not think I am a good fit for those. Plus, the two sororities who "wanted me" are not competitive and they give bids to about anyone really. It is the other three that are competitive which unfortunately are the ones that I feel are more similar to me and my values. (And it is not because they are competitive and more selective that I like them if that crossed anyone's mind).

I understand i did it once, I probably should not go through it again to receive the same results (or no results because I have already dropped) but I just don't want to see like the girl who thought she was "too good".

[kddani]

Originally Posted by I_Wish

the ones that I feel are more similar to me and my values. (And it is not because they are competitive and more selective that I like them if that crossed anyone's mind).

What, do the other two groups slaughter puppies or something?

And your parenthetical doesn't mean much, because that's what it still comes across as.

[shadokat]

Man, lighten up on the girl. Yes, she got invited back to pref for two other sororities, and she said she didn't see herself as a fit. Let it go!

To I_Wish, I do agree with the advice that if you went through once and didn't receive a bid the first time to the orgs you were interested in, you are likely to have the same outcome, barring some miraculous change. So prepare yourself for that.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

[ComradesTrue]

To the OP:

You have been given good feedback regarding the uphill battle that you may be facing.

My concern is that on a campus with only five sororities that you can't see your self in almost half of them. Really? No matter how you spin it that just comes off as elitist.

Consider this- a pledge class was added when you went through the first time, and now a second pledge class will be added this coming year. That is half the chapter turning over since you saw them during recruitment. Much can change.

You won't be greek if you don't go through recruitment. However, you likely won't be greek if you maintain this mentality. The two groups that you won't even consider may be your best shot at being in a sorority.

Go through with a very open mind. If one of your three works out then great. But think long and hard this semester about how much you want to be in a sorority and if you will honestly give either of the other 2 a chance.

Originally Posted by Blondie93

To the OP:

You have been given good feedback regarding the uphill battle that you may be facing.

My concern is that on a campus with only five sororities that you can't see your self in almost half of them. Really? No matter how you spin it that just comes off as elitist.

Consider this- a pledge class was added when you went through the first time, and now a second pledge class will be added this coming year. That is half the chapter turning over since you saw them during recruitment. Much can change.

You won't be greek if you don't go through recruitment. However, you likely won't be greek if you maintain this mentality. The two groups that you won't even consider may be your best shot at being in a sorority.

Go through with a very open mind. If one of your three works out then great. But think long and hard this semester about how much you want to be in a sorority and if you will honestly give either of the other 2 a chance.

Thank you shadokat

And yes! That is very true, for all I know I could go through rush and absolutely love one of the two that I think I don't now. I guess the key is an open mind which I will be sure to keep if I go through rush again.

[Barbie's_Rush]

It's always amazing to me when a pnm says there's "nothing wrong" with the only chapters who continue to see her as a membership fit. It usually says there's a disconnect between the way the pnm sees those chapters and their members and the way she sees herself. Multiple chapters usually aren't wrong about this kind of stuff.

[FSUZeta]

i agree with shadokat---please don't poke the pnms.

pnms have every right to decide which sororities to go back to and which invitations and bids to accept , just as we, as sorority members, get to decide who to invite back.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

i agree with shadokat---please don't poke the pnms.

pnms have every right to decide which sororities to go back to and which invitations and bids to accept , just as we, as sorority members, get to decide who to invite back.

Sure they do, however what people are expressing is that having that attitude going into rush again only hurts her chances. And her comments - as a non-member - went beyond the "I don't fit" into "They'll take anyone."

She doesn't seem particularly offended by the feedback.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by I_Wish

Plus, the two sororities who "wanted me" are not competitive and they give bids to about anyone really.

Originally Posted by I_Wish

Wow that did sound really pretentious of me!! The girls in the two sororities are really nice people but I personally cannot see myself hanging out with them, doing the kinds of activities they do etc...

Sorry, but this is pokeworthy. She has NO idea of the membership selection procedures of the two groups she is spurning. I also really wonder what the "kinds of activities they do" are.

[shadokat]

At 18 years old, not a lot of college women are mature enough to understand sisterhood for a lifetime, and the fact that joining a struggling chapter may actually present itself as a leadership opportunity and the chance to mold a new reputation for a sorority. They are looking to find a group to fit in, and if it's the best group on campus, all the better.

[carnation]

We need to give the PNMs the benefit of the doubt in their choices and not second guess why they made them. When they say they had their reasons for cutting ABC, why should we run them down? I cut one good sorority because they were heavily, heavily into athletics and I figured they'd hate me when I didn't want to sign up for a sport. I cut one of those considered "top tier" because they were so condescending and rude to me and all those around me. I would've been ticked if someone on an anonymous board had said, "Yeah, we know you cut them because they were small, snob." I discussed this recently with a woman who was a PH officer when I helped advise at one SEC school--she said that she cut ABC when she rushed because they were so into winning the Greek musical shows and she figured they'd hate her when she began to sing. That chapter is fantastic.

Truth is, we have no idea why they cut who they cut. Actually, many of us hardly remember the reasons our teenage selves cut groups.

Yeah, in an ideal world, all the girls who were cut would band together and strengthen a smaller group. Why won't they? Because especially at a huge school , they will know at most a couple other girls who dropped out and especially in the South, no one (including PanHellenic) is going to hang out a banner that says "Meeting at 6 tonight for girls who dropped out of rush". Other teenagers would be too embarrassed to show up. Also, they would have to arrange something with a group that wanted to take them all on. How would they? And what would happen if the group didn't care for some of the girls?

Have you ever seen this in a small town? There's an older unmarried woman and some of the locals keep saying, "She didn't have to be single, Billy Bob and Bobby Bill wanted to marry her." She has to hear this crap the rest of her life even though both men might have been worthless crackers...why should she have to listen to people second-guessing what she felt to be the right decision for her? Why should we be playing Lofty Greeks With Insight who say, "You had the choice to be Greek, you cut the only groups who wanted you." That's horribly rude. You don't know why they cut them, you don't know why they were cut. Some people on here have been rude enough to say "your dream sororities didn't want you." How do you know? Actually at many big schools, the sororities would love to have dozens of the girls they cut but they had to cut huge numbers. Have you ever been in a room where the sorority is required to cut hundreds of girls in one night?

What gives anyone the right to decide why a teenager cuts a group? If you weren't there, you don't know.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by carnation

We need to give the PNMs the benefit of the doubt in their choices and not second guess why they made them. When they say they had their reasons for cutting ABC, why should we run them down? I cut one good sorority because they were heavily, heavily into athletics and I figured they'd hate me when I didn't want to sign up for a sport. I cut one of those considered "top tier" because they were so condescending and rude to me and all those around me. I would've been ticked if someone on an anonymous board had said, "Yeah, we know you cut them because they were small, snob." I discussed this recently with a woman who was a PH officer when I helped advise at one SEC school--she said that she cut ABC when she rushed because they were so into winning the Greek musical shows and she figured they'd hate her when she began to sing. That chapter is fantastic.

Truth is, we have no idea why they cut who they cut. Actually, many of us hardly remember the reasons our teenage selves cut groups.

Yeah, in an ideal world, all the girls who were cut would band together and strengthen a smaller group. Why won't they? Because especially at a huge school , they will know at most a couple other girls who dropped out and especially in the South, no one (including PanHellenic) is going to hang out a banner that says "Meeting at 6 tonight for girls who dropped out of rush". Other teenagers would be too embarrassed to show up. Also, they would have to arrange something with a group that wanted to take them all on. How would they? And what would happen if the group didn't care for some of the girls?

Have you ever seen this in a small town? There's an older unmarried woman and some of the locals keep saying, "She didn't have to be single, Billy Bob and Bobby Bill wanted to marry her." She has to hear this crap the rest of her life even though both men might have been worthless crackers...why should she have to listen to people second-guessing what she felt to be the right decision for her? Why should we be playing Lofty Greeks With Insight who say, "You had the choice to be Greek, you cut the only groups who wanted you." That's horribly rude. You don't know why they cut them, you don't know why they were cut. Some people on here have been rude enough to say "your dream sororities didn't want you." How do you know? Actually at many big schools, the sororities would love to have dozens of the girls they cut but they had to cut huge numbers. Have you ever been in a room where the sorority is required to cut hundreds of girls in one night?

What gives anyone the right to decide why a teenager cuts a group? If you weren't there, you don't know.

Did you not read the part where she said she didn't want those groups because they'd give a bid to anyone?

And yes, actually I've been in a room where a sorority had to cut almost 500 in a night.

[carnation]

I did read it. And there have been several who've tried to say that they didn't cut based on tiers but we've had several posters who refuse to believe that PNMs drop out for reasons unrelated to tiers.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by carnation

I did read it. And there have been several who've tried to say that they didn't cut based on tiers but we've had several posters who refuse to believe that PNMs drop out for reasons unrelated to tiers.

Because everyone comes to greekchat when they've been cut by the "fat ugly girl" chapter.