When Defriending Hurts !! - Page 2

33girl · #16 11-02-2009, 08:20 PM

A guy that I went to HS and college defriended me - I sent him a message and asked what was up. He said that some of my friends had been writing "inappropriate things" on my page and that he was worried about his kids seeing it. At first I thought, awww, how dadlike - then I thought about it AGAIN and realized the friends posting inappropriate things were people he was ALSO friends with, who had the same if not worse on their pages!! So I just put him on block so I can pretend he doesn't exist. We have had a very weird relationship over the years - he's either the sweetest guy on earth or treats me like something on the bottom of his shoe. I have the feeling he's always wondering "will this social interaction cause me to be seen positively?" He's James Spader in Pretty In Pink, basically.

westcoastzta · #17 11-02-2009, 08:35 PM

My first 'crush' from kindergarten won't accept me as a 'friend' on FB....pisses me off as I can see he is friends with others that go back to elementary school...I tried twice and then wrote him off. On the other hand, I've had a 'suggested friend' of a girl I was once on cheer with. I hated her then and will not friend her now. I've also had to 'hide' a couple of friends public comments as I too am friends with my daughter and some of the stuff these guys write are waaaay out there. I don't want her seeing what he posts. It's for fun for me, a way to keep in touch and follow peoples' lives.

33girl · #18 11-02-2009, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by westcoastzta

I've also had to 'hide' a couple of friends public comments as I too am friends with my daughter and some of the stuff these guys write are waaaay out there. I don't want her seeing what he posts.

If this referring to what I posted, his kids are around 6 and 4. They don't have FB.

I have curbed my urge to be saucy with an old friend as his daughter's on his friends list.

christiangirl · #19 11-02-2009, 10:44 PM

I only friend those people I know. I've denied lots of people I don't know (or know and don't like). However, if I fall out with a friend, I don't "defriend" them on the off-chance we may reconcile.

I don't see why anyone would take offense from being denied by someone they didn't even know. That doesn't change who you are, it just means they don't know you!

AGDee · #20 11-03-2009, 07:39 AM

I have told my daughter and her friends who have friended me on Facebook that I could, at any time, make my page adults only and defriend them, just so they know. I have a cousin who unfriended me and that's fine with me. He said something at a wedding this summer that everytime he logs in his whole news feed is me cuz I'm on a lot and his other friends aren't. Doesn't matter to me that he unfriended me.

AnchorAlumna · #21 11-03-2009, 11:52 AM

I'm amazed that I get friend requests from people I don't know. I just click "ignore." I do think my son and daughter-in-law may be uncomfortable with me as a friend, seeing all their posts. They seem to have quit posting after I friended them - heck, I'm on there more than they are! I feel like telling them it's OK if they want to un-friend me.

Senusret I · #22 11-03-2009, 12:02 PM

I put a disclaimer on my profile that states I defriend for any reason or no reason at all, and that thems are the breaks.

agzg · #23 11-03-2009, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I'm amazed that I get friend requests from people I don't know. I just click "ignore." I do think my son and daughter-in-law may be uncomfortable with me as a friend, seeing all their posts. They seem to have quit posting after I friended them - heck, I'm on there more than they are! I feel like telling them it's OK if they want to un-friend me.

I'm not saying that you do this, but while I don't mind my boyfriend's mom and stepdad knowing what I put on facebook (I tend to save the expletive-riddled updates for Twitter), I hate that every time I post a status my boyfriend's mom "likes" it.

I could post "just snorted a line of coke and am on the highest high of my life right now" and she'd click the like button. Really? The stuff I post on facebook is not that interesting. You don't need to like everything.

tld221 · #24 11-03-2009, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I put a disclaimer on my profile that states I defriend for any reason or no reason at all, and that thems are the breaks.

LOL awesome.

dukemama · #25 11-03-2009, 02:40 PM

One of my FB "friends" defriended me, but it was a former coworker who I was never super close with so I didn't take it to heart. I've also gotten some out-there requests to friend people I've never heard of; usually I just put them on Ignore and they go away. A few of the more skeevy- looking ones, though, I've actually blocked.

ree-Xi · #26 11-04-2009, 04:57 PM

I will refuse requests, and sometimes, I accept them and then delete them a few days later. And the others, I pick and choose what I show.

Regarding family members, kids or people you work with - you can create "Friend Lists" and determine what people see. For example, I have some cousins that I prefer not see everything I put up, but who would get really pissy should I not have accepted their request. So I put it that they can't see updates/wall posts or pictures that other people tag me in.

As for different groups of people, I may choose to hide certain profile info. It's worked out pretty well for the most part.

christiangirl · #27 11-04-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

As for different groups of people, I may choose to hide certain profile info. It's worked out pretty well for the most part.

Aaaaallll of my older family members are on limited profile: parents, aunts, uncles, older cousins, whoever. No seeing the wall, no looking at pix unless I authorize. They're pretty much limited to my info and family photos.

AnotherKD · #28 11-06-2009, 08:37 AM

Being "friends" with my manager has definitely made me think twice about what I post. Then again, I never posted anything as bad as this about my work:

http://tastybooze.com/2009/08/facebook-fail/

Also, I friended my big whom I had lost touch with. She accepted. Then, a couple of months later, I saw that facebook was suggesting that I become friends with her. I always wondered why she defriended me. A few weeks ago, she sent me a friend request. Seems kind of bipolar to me.

33girl · #29 11-07-2009, 12:00 AM

She might have added a lot of people to play sorority life or mafia or something and then pruned them off...and got you accidentally...but I'd think she'd tell you if she made a mistake like that. Unless she's really embarrassed about playing SL or MW.

ree-Xi · #30 11-07-2009, 12:14 AM

I just went through my friends list and got rid of about 20-30 people. They were mostly people I have never met, but know people I know, as well as former coworkers from years ago. The problem is, the people I don't know never once introduced themselves or posted on my wall, and these certain people I used to work with never communicate, despite their seeking me out, and my initiating contact.

If all you want to do is keep tabs on me, then buh-bye. I don't need 500 "friends". While I appreciate the power of networking, I don't believe in just keeping connected in case something would come of the connection.