rejected

[James]

Speaking for no one but myself . . .

I know you are speaking the truth and I have seen some of the pettiest, small minded, and and the most downright silly reasoning (if you can call it that) go into consideration of a new member.

Usually these people invent these rationalizations to avoid having to say they don't like the person.

I truly wish they would just stand up in the meeting and say, "look i just don't like the person, can't see past that, and don't want them in." It would save hours of debate on points the person really doesn't care about anyway.

Of course this isn't always the case and sometimes I have seen people make dispassionate decisions based on the good of the chapter with a clearly defined criteria.

Let me change "sometimes" to "once".

I am offering general criticism/advice and even when using the word you, I mean it in a general fashion.

Usually we would not take up an older member, based solely on that reason, only if we felt threatened in some way by their supposed perspective or maturity.

I am not even going to touch the woman vs. woman issue .

[SweetestDiva]

Originally posted by 33girl:
To my understanding, a rejection letter is used by NPHC organizations. deeplyhurt, you didn't say but I'm going to assume that's what you were interested in.

I agree... rejection letters are commonly used in BGLOs.. that's most likely the situation here.

[AOX81]

pledgetrainer2,

You may be telling the truth about your organization but not everyone eles's.

Of course you want to choose girls who are going to fit in with you and add to your sorority but being older and overweight has nothing to do with a persons personality and they shouldn't be judged on it.

No, my group doesn't have all of the hot girls. We have all different kinds of girls. We don't judge on looks. Our president is over weight, but if it doesn't bother her then it doesn't bother us. We give bids out to girls who seem genuinely interested and who we feel will make a difference.

Everybody needs to stop being so superficial and look for the real qualities in people.

Have a nice day

[Miami1839]

I'm guessing you rushed a BGLO too. So I'm not sure if this helps but heres my opinon. I noticed that you are returning to school after 5 years. What happened during those 5 years. I know of many ex military men/women who make great prospects for greek organizations.

Now I am only speaking for my chapter.

I know one of my brothers was ex military and he pledged at age 25(ex airforce and Chilean). True he was older but I'm only speaking about my organization. I myself was 21 when I pledged. We had our standards but we didnt go around looking for just young people, older people, those that partied like rock stars or a "specific" criteria. Obviously nobody is the same(thats what made our chapter diverse), but we did want someone to fit the image of our chapter, our national ideals, and someone that could contribute to our chapter. Plus, we were one of the more popular organizations on campus.


Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alum
Epsilon Mu
George Mason U.



[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited March 15, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Miami1839 (edited March 15, 2001).]

[damasa]

pledgetrainer:

WOW...that's about all that I have to say, I'd be ashamed to post..let alone be apart of an organization that discriminates in the ways that yours does.

Discrimination of age, WEIGHT??? Looks like they fell in a tackle box. wtf is that? That is just wrong. The only thing that you posted that had any correlation to accepting an individual into the organization, is the fact of having no personality. In this case, your personality sucks! Why did they pick you?


damasa...sick of discrimination and stupid comments by ignorant people.

[pledgetrainer2]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by damasa:
[B]pledgetrainer:


Discrimination of age, WEIGHT??? Looks like they fell in a tackle box. wtf is that?


That is having an piece of metal coming out of ever part of your body. And no, that isn't cool for a preppy sorority look.

No personality? And we have posts that go on for thirty pages about the members who have won beauty pagents and we are proud of them, but we don't make it ANY part of how we pick members-do we?

At no place in society do we not discriminate at some point. Go try to get a job looking like some of these people I have described. How many nose rings and eyebrow rings do you think are too many, when you are looking at people going through rush?

And, how many three hundred pound Tri-Delts do you see? I'm not a tridelt, but I haven't seen any in any of the sororities on my campus.

I know many people with great personalities that don't have great looks. We aren't talking about them. I've even seen derogatory comments about having to take legacies, because their looks are not so great.

If you take offense to me posting the truth, that is your problem-not mine.

[This message has been edited by pledgetrainer2 (edited March 18, 2001).]

[damasa]

i took the tackle box thing the wrong way..but about the weight..that's still wrong...
Maybe it's just crazy confusion...i talke it you belong to a sorority...or a fraternity of women...and i've heard that women discriminate more against these sorts of things...
Nevertheless, i don't think that because someone has piercings, tattoos, or are overweight, should be automatically red flagged for initation. Yet, like I said, women tend to be more harsh in this...from experiences that i've witnessed or heard of.

Or maybe I just belong to such a diverse fraternity that it is our beliefs to not discriminate against anything. We belive in strong character and how they will contribute to their greek org. for the rest of their life.

One last point: Imagine that you were 300 lbs., as you stated, when you were pledging, and you didn't get accepted, how would you feel?

[pledgetrainer2]

I didn't say that I liked it-at all-I was just saying what it's like when we have to make decisions.

I think deciding who would get bids and who wouldn't was the worst part of being in a sorority. It caused a lot of hard feelings among members when their favority didn't get a bid.

As far as the 300 lbs.-there have NEVER been any that I've seen even go through rush, so I won't worry about it until it happens.

[pledgetrainer2]

I want to say again that I don't go along with this mentality, but if we don't talk about it, right here, how are we going to change anything. I am glad that you posted what you did, but you are wrong if you think that they don't circle fat. It is STILL going on and it needs to stop! I'm not going to name who is doing it, but it's not just one sorority, either. It's just time to get real! Let's talk about things that need to be changed and then lets change them. You are wrong about why I don't see 300 lb. girls during rush, though. They just don't come out at my school. It's hard for ANY girl to go out for rush, even legacies, so I can just imagine how much courage overweight women must have. Now, I'm not advocating sororites with weight problems! But, there are plenty of wonderful people that we are overlooking and need to go out and get after regular rush, if they didn't go through rush and even try. Why is it ok for the fraternities to pledge older guys and overweight men, and women's groups don't do it? And again-I know that there are exceptions to the rule, but look around people!

[amycat412]

Yes, I have to agree with pledgtrainer. we don't have to condone behavior to recognize that it happens.

At my school overweight women, or women being discriminated against for racial or religious reasons were taken to a separate room at one of the chapters, and no one knew what was happening to them while they were there, there were sisters rushing them as if all was fine and dandy -- but those were the women cut that night.

It is VERY unfortunate that bias exists in these circumstances, but in far too many cases, it does.

Now how do we change it? I believe the alums can take a more active role in this--it is, and I mean no disrespect at all here-- it is harder for the actives to have a more global view of things--they are in the midst and they can get caught up in things for the wrong reason--for example--thinking an overweight woman will hurt their socail standing...

I'd love to see this bias change--all it does is feed the negative stereotypes of greek women and play to the image of women presented by the media. Images that are largely unattainable.

[33girl]

Originally posted by amycat412:
Yes, I have to agree with pledgtrainer. we don't have to condone behavior to recognize that it happens.

Now how do we change it?

This thread has gotten way off topic, but what the hell. I think we went here before, but I can't find the thread.

So how do we make INNER beauty a priority over OUTER beauty?

I said before - the first step to changing attitudes such as these is to start from the top down. I've seen some really narrow-minded, judgemental national officers and chapter consultants - in my org and in others. If your national president or whoever isn't putting a stop to this kind of BS, who will?

I'm not suggesting giving everyone and her sister a bid - I would never say that, but look farther than their dress size. On some campuses, sorry to say, it takes a lot of guts to take that step. I think our organizations need to take less time discussing whether calling someone "pledge" is hazing, and more time discussing why in this day and age so many women feel that their appearance is the most important thing about them. Sororities are supposed to be about a support system, not feeling insecure because you don't measure up to another woman's looks.