Playing Hard to Get- A question for the guys and the girls! - Page 2

damasa · #16 10-11-2001, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bucutie02
I dont want you guys to get the wrong impression of me, i am not a player. I think that when i do sometimes play hard to get its more because im shy than anything else. If a guy is interested in me and im interested in him- then he will know it trust me! On that same note, i also let a guy that is interested in me know if i dont feel the same way. Sometimes, however, its hard for the guy to completely know it because like i said before, i can be very shy. With that being said, i wouldnt flirt with a guy or lead him on if i was uninterested- i think thats wrong, and besides, i dont have enough guts!

I am actually a sweet person, and i dont like to hurt people!

I honestly believe you...but, put it in the perspective of a male.
The majority of males like a little playing hard to get to some extent, but we can only take so much, anything beyond that we think that the girl might be trying to play us, isn't into us, doesn't want anything to do with us...or something else. So a lot of the time, the guy will just bail out, it's not that he doesn't want to wait, it's he doesn't know what the hell is going on LOL. And when a girl is playing hard to get..they don't usually like to tell....

bah.....
one confused d

Tom Earp · #17 10-11-2001, 05:03 PM

I am at the point that if a girl showed any interest, hard to come by or not, I would be thankful!

Wow I would be estatic, gleeful and down rite happY

your best used to be a Stud!!!!!

IowaHawkeye · #18 10-11-2001, 05:26 PM

Oh come on now Tom, you can't fool us, we know youre a pimp

Dionysus · #19 11-15-2002, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bucutie02

Girls: Do any of you play hard to get, and if so- did it help or not?

I do now! It helps me for some strange reason. Oftentimes, when I show strong and consistant interest, rejection usually follows.

librasoul22 · #20 11-15-2002, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
I have met very few girls that know how to play hard to get properly. In fact scratch that: I have never met any girl that played it properly. Usually (this is no reference to anyone here) girls that play hard to get usually are unable to send proper signals (shy or whatever) and aren't the types to actually just flat out go after what they want . . and they usually get upset when the boy didn't read their minds and ask them out anyway. . .

Real hard to get is making sure the boy knows you are interested and sending the clear message that he is going to have to spend some major time and material assets to get you.

James...all hail James...

James · #21 11-15-2002, 11:51 PM

I kind of jumped to here so am sorry if I repeat someone else's point.

If you play hartd to get because you are shy and fear rejection thats a bad strategy. There are some cloak and dagger female players on here that can show you the pointers I am sure.

Quote:

Originally posted by bucutie02
Dont get me wrong, i also believe in there being a fine line between playing hard to get and just playing some one. I dont ever play anyone. What i need to do is just have more guts to talk to guys that are interested in me or vice versa. I can be shy when i first meet a cute guy- so i should start there

KappaKittyCat · #22 11-16-2002, 12:25 AM

At this point in my life I'm in a bit of a rut. I gave up playing hard to get years ago because it wasn't getting me anywhere but ignored. I like people who are straightforward; they're a breath of fresh air, and in my opinion there are not enough of them.

However, loads of guys seem downright petrified by straightforward. Either that or they think I'm easy. So it scares away the guys I do want and just winds up attracting those who want nothing more than a quick lay with no strings attached.

Sigh...

valkyrie · #23 11-16-2002, 02:47 PM

I think that there *is* a happy medium here somewhere. I'm all about being straightforward and all that, but I'm not going to be making the first move all the time. If I make the first move, the guy is going to have to make the second. And probably the third.

I'm all about rules -- not The Rules (I think that's a bunch of crap) but MY rules. If you like me, call. If you don't (and you said you will) it's going to be difficult for you to get anywhere. But I'll admit that as direct as I can be, I'm probably not the one doing the calling -- he's going to have to call me, and I will call back, but probably not right away. Something like that...

James · #24 11-16-2002, 02:59 PM

Ah the games we play . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
But I'll admit that as direct as I can be, I'm probably not the one doing the calling -- he's going to have to call me, and I will call back, but probably not right away. Something like that...

valkyrie · #25 11-16-2002, 03:12 PM

James, the thing is, that if I make the first move, the guy is going to have to do some calling as well. I am not going to pursue something with someone if it's not very clear to me that he is interested. I mean, if he's not going to make an effort, there are plenty of other guys who will, you know? And when I say I won't call right away, I mean I'll call within a few hours. I think that's not so bad...

James · #26 11-16-2002, 03:38 PM

I think that most of the games we play with others are really games we are playing with ourselves.

Kind of a mental game that tries to make us the least vulnerable while getting the other person to declare their position.

The problem, is that both people are playing that same game with different versions and rules.

Not knowing each others rules makes it really hard. Its a wonder we ever win.

justamom · #27 11-17-2002, 08:01 AM

DeltaBetaBaby-On a similar note, you should actually BE hard to get. If you fill your life with what makes you happy, friends, activities, etc., you will only give those things up if a guy proves that he is worth your time. You shouldn't be lying to him or not returning calls, but if you happen to be busy, more power to you. It sure beats sitting around waiting for him.

To me, this is the BEST advice. The only exception is you wouldn't give those things up (which I don't think DeltaBetaBaby really intended to imply). You would end up setting time aside and/or rearranging your schedule to INCLUDE the addition of this person in your life.

I do think one reason this "game" is played stems from what we learned in HS. EVERY guy wants the same girl and likewise every girl wants the same guy. Hence-they were hard to get and when/if you DID get them-YOU became a "hot" property.

h2oot · #28 11-18-2002, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby

On a similar note, you should actually BE hard to get. If you fill your life with what makes you happy, friends, activities, etc., you will only give those things up if a guy proves that he is worth your time. You shouldn't be lying to him or not returning calls, but if you happen to be busy, more power to you. It sure beats sitting around waiting for him.

Absolutely!