Serious Preference Help Needed

[agzg]

Do you guys perform your preference from memory or read it from cards? I only ask this because we started doing it from memory when I was an active and it came off more heartfelt and personal that way. Idk whether my chapter is still doing it that way though.

Of course, if recruitment is next week that's not a possibility, but maybe something to think about in the future.

[gee_ess]

Depending on how large the pref party is, reading letters out loud could get dull. I have seen the letters incorporated into the one on one time between active and pnm. Active takes pnm into room, they talk for a while (time to get serious!) and then she says something like, " I am going to step away for a minute but while I'm gone, I want you to read this." It is a letter from a different active (most likely her "special person") who voila shows up in front of her after she is through reading the letter. This sets up the all important "closing of the deal." Very effective. The letter does not leave the house but is put in the Bid Day bag.

Also, taking a picture is another good pref night activity. As pnms enter the house, they are handed your GLO flower. Hire a professional and set up your entrance "route" so that there is a quick stop for a photo between active and pnm on their way to sit down. This is just another way to let the pnm feel special. Pics can be ordered at a later date.

Last but not least, I agree with those who are pointing out that the delivery of the pref ceremony/speech can be crucial. The speaker needs to be relaxed, and really connecting with pnms - not reciting the Declaration of Independence. This sort of thing takes practice, practice, practice.

[cbm]

The letter reading would cause me to be uncomfortable, and I agree that if you are having to listen to everyone else's letter it will get quite boring. Our pref nights / pledge classes were so huge this wasn't an option, but one of the houses I attended on pref night did something similarly personal to the letters. I was just uncomfortable, possibly because I knew that my heart wasn't at house XYZ and that I wasn't going to rank them first. Looking back, I think I probably made it somewhat akward for the active rushing me!

[xowest]

I graduated a long time ago, but my chapter used letters, and I think they were effective. I think our letters generally worked for several reasons. First, we didn’t start the night off with the letters. We did a meal first, so it gave the PNMs time to get comfortable before they received the letter. Second, we avoided the bore factor by taking the PNMs to our rooms to present the letters so they didn’t have to sit and listen to everyone else’s letters. (We were careful to avoid hot-boxing.) Third, we tried to make sure the letters did not read like form letters and were not too cheesey. Fourth, to the best of my recollection, the person preferencing the PNM did not write a letter. Instead, she talked to the PNM. The letters, instead, came from the actives who met the PNM throughout the week but did not pref the PNM- it was a way for them to make sure the PNM knew they liked her, even if they weren’t preferencing her. I just think it would be uncomfortable and cheesy for a PNM to sit there, in front of the active who is preferencing her, and read a letter from her. Finally, we ended with a group ceremony, so if the letter thing was a miss for some of the PNMs, then at least we weren’t ending on that note.

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by agzg

Do you guys perform your preference from memory or read it from cards? I only ask this because we started doing it from memory when I was an active and it came off more heartfelt and personal that way. Idk whether my chapter is still doing it that way though.

Of course, if recruitment is next week that's not a possibility, but maybe something to think about in the future.

We memorized everything, right down to initiation. I don't think anyone does that anymore.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

We memorized everything, right down to initiation. I don't think anyone does that anymore.

We made a push while I was a collegian to do things from memory - new member ceremonies, initiation, preference - I'm really not sure if they do it now but it was nice while it lasted - people actually understood what things meant!

[blackandgold55]

My chapter always did little notebooks (black and gold since its Theta) and several different sisters write short notes to the pnm, either saying how great they are and how they think they would fit in with us or even just saying what Theta means to them. Then at pref they got to read their books but had to hand them back when they left but we gave them back to the girls who joined on bid day.