need advice.. - Page 2

libramunoz · #16 01-21-2009, 01:40 PM

Have you thought about living on campus and in the dorms? I don't know if your sorority requires you to live in their house, but have you tried thinking about living on campus and getting the meal plan? This would be able to help you with some of your expenses.
Look into your local newspaper and I'd bet that there are Home Health agencies or someone needing someone to stay with grandma/grandpa/aunt or uncle fester at night and would be willing to pay a decent wage that would help you out.
What options, as far as a job, have you been able to look into? I know that you said that you're carrying a full courseload, but if staying in your sorority is something that you want to do, you should be able to find something that would help in deferring your sorority cost expenses.
I know that you said that your sorority doesn't care if you have a job, but I'd bet, if you asked some of your sorors, you'd find out that yes, some of them do have a job. People understand what things are like right now, they know that yes, Virginia, some folks will have to work to pay for what they need. No you will not be able to attend EVERY function, but by working, you will be able to have the PEACE of mind in knowing that you don't owe anyone and that your fees are paid for. Don't think that folks won't understand, don't assume, people are more diverse in their feelings and in their understanding than what you may be thinking.
Being able to work and maintain a full courseload is hard, yes, but it can be done! I know that when I was in school, I had a full courseload and yes, I had to work. I didn't work off campus, but I was on campus and I had to fulfull those workstudy hours, the RA hours, and I had to maintain my GPA in order to maintain ANY and ALL scholarships that I had for that year! It can be done, but you just have to make up your mind in doing it.
But if you feel that you can't stay in your sorority, talk with your big now. I think that she will be able to help you or show you the way to help more than what you think. I know that you are apprehesive in talking to her, but do now because there may be more options than what you think.

epchick · #17 01-21-2009, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyAnne17

I am confused by this statement. If you have to pay housing dues and all that, isn't it often cheaper to live in the house?

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

LucyAnne17 · #18 01-21-2009, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epchick

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

ugh that would be frustrating...did they ever end up getting a house?

violetpretty · #19 01-21-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicky3829

yea the dues are that much money.. it would be half that but they forget to mention we have housing dues and stuff to send to nationals.. furnishing fees and all that which doesn't make sense.. i think they are just putting a label on sending them a ton of money because i dont see how we have to pay that much money just to maintain the house.. esp when i dont even live in it..
and to reply to zeta13girl, i don't have a job because i have a full courseload so theres no way i could maintain a job and keep getting the good grades i get.. plus my sorority doesnt understand if u have a job - they expect you to work around wat the sorority requires you to do.. it stinks!

What exactly is included in the $800? Is that just what you paid your first semester? Between dues, a parlor fee, a one-time housing and furnishing fee, badge fee, and other one-time National fees, $800 sounds on par for your first semester total IF your chapter dues are $400-450. If you live in the house, all you will have to pay are your chapter dues, plus anything not included (t-shirts, socials, etc. if your chapter does not have all-inclusive dues).

Or, do you mean that dues plus all the "extras" (t-shirts, socials, etc) totaled $800? Or did your chapter flat out lie about your chapter dues being $400-450?

epchick · #20 01-21-2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucyAnne17

ugh that would be frustrating...did they ever end up getting a house?

No and from my understand they won't be getting a house in the near future.

ASTalumna06 · #21 01-21-2009, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epchick

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

My chapter is currently doing the same thing. We still don't have a house, but a portion of dues goes toward Housing, and a percentage of all fundraisers does, also.

chicky3829 · #22 01-21-2009, 04:30 PM

this has all been great advice.. but i really honestly cannot afford it so i dont need advice on how to TRY and afford it. i can't afford it. simple as that. what i was asking advice on is when i should let the chapter know that i will be dropping out...
thanks..

ISUKappa · #23 01-21-2009, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicky3829

this has all been great advice.. but i really honestly cannot afford it so i dont need advice on how to TRY and afford it. i can't afford it. simple as that. what i was asking advice on is when i should let the chapter know that i will be dropping out...
thanks..

Honestly, I'd be kind of pissed either way. I'd probably get over it faster if they were upfront right away about it than if they played along all semester like they were staying in and then announced they weren't coming back at the end.

And you might even talk to them about dropping out now and seeing if they'll refund a portion of your money so you can start saving again because it's going to be hella expensive living on your own.

I'm kinda thinking that money is just the excuse you're using (maybe even to yourself) and you're really dropping for other reasons. If you really wanted to stay in, you'd figure out a way.

ETA: is it just the sorority your parents won't help pay for? Would they help out with your housing (dorm or apartment) otherwise?

chicky3829 · #24 01-21-2009, 04:58 PM

they wont pay for the sorority.. they will help me pay for my housing.. they didnt want me to join the sorority in the first place but now with different financial stuff that has been going on they cant afford to help me out with the sorority anymore..before they were helping out reluctantly because they knew it was something i initially wanted to do

and there are other reasons im dropping out but i dont think it would be smart to share it on a public forum when it concerns my sorority and only my sorority..money is a MAJOR factor but there is a ton of other factors playing into this.. not just money..
i know that is super vague and everyones gonna be like "we cant give u advice if u dont tell us the whole story" blah blah but i cant tell you it because it wouldn't be right to do that.. so sorry..
i think i have gotten what i needed out of this thread though so thanks to everyone who replied!

LucyAnne17 · #25 01-21-2009, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicky3829

they wont pay for the sorority.. they will help me pay for my housing.. they didnt want me to join the sorority in the first place but now with different financial stuff that has been going on they cant afford to help me out with the sorority anymore..before they were helping out reluctantly because they knew it was something i initially wanted to do

and there are other reasons im dropping out but i dont think it would be smart to share it on a public forum when it concerns my sorority and only my sorority..money is a MAJOR factor but there is a ton of other factors playing into this.. not just money..
i know that is super vague and everyones gonna be like "we cant give u advice if u dont tell us the whole story" blah blah but i cant tell you it because it wouldn't be right to do that.. so sorry..
i think i have gotten what i needed out of this thread though so thanks to everyone who replied!

I figured there was something more to it. If you're leaving because of hurt feelings, go ahead and tell everyone now. If you wait until the semester is over and dissappear, you will not be leaving on good terms with the sisters you still want to remain in contact with. At least with some warning maybe some will understand and you can salvage friendships.

KSUViolet06 · #26 01-21-2009, 05:15 PM

If you're going to drop out, I suggest being as up front as possible and telling everyone as soon as possible. Like I said before, sticking it out until the end of the semester gives the appearance that you are staying. No one wants to THINK their Little Sis is sticking around when she really isn't. So, the sooner the better.

chicky3829 · #27 01-21-2009, 05:32 PM

thanks to everyone for the advice!
i'm going to try and discuss it, at least with my big, so i don't drop it on her at the end of the semester! i really like her and dont want to lose that friendship! thanks for the advice!

kddani · #28 01-21-2009, 05:59 PM

Sounds like money is just an easy excuse and not facing the real issues. If money were the real issue there are plenty of ways to work with that and figure that out. Since you've dismissed those ideas, it's pretty obvious that the money is just a convenient excuse.

If you dislike the sorority so much that you want to leave, why do you care so much about when you do it and what people think? You're leaving either way. You don't like it, don't want to be in it, so quit and open a spot for another girl who wants to be in your chapter and participate.

KSUViolet06 · #29 01-21-2009, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

Sounds like money is just an easy excuse and not facing the real issues. If money were the real issue there are plenty of ways to work with that and figure that out. Since you've dismissed those ideas, it's pretty obvious that the money is just a convenient excuse.

If you dislike the sorority so much that you want to leave, why do you care so much about when you do it and what people think? You're leaving either way. You don't like it, don't want to be in it, so quit and open a spot for another girl who wants to be in your chapter and participate.

I wonder if this is an apprpriate point for an "Oh snap."

I think this is probably the truth of the matter.

kddani, you need to come back and be around here more often.

violetpretty · #30 01-21-2009, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

Sounds like money is just an easy excuse and not facing the real issues. If money were the real issue there are plenty of ways to work with that and figure that out. Since you've dismissed those ideas, it's pretty obvious that the money is just a convenient excuse.

If you dislike the sorority so much that you want to leave, why do you care so much about when you do it and what people think? You're leaving either way. You don't like it, don't want to be in it, so quit and open a spot for another girl who wants to be in your chapter and participate.

EXACTLY. I'd say the overwhelming majority, if not all, of women in my chapter who withdrew their membership "because of money" really did so because they were unhappy/apathetic with their membership. I can't think of anyone that withdrew that was super-involved and dying to save her membership.