need advice..

[honeychile]

Obviously, I can't speak for all sororities, but in a pre-exit interview, you would be offered all sorts of options. Many chapters have a fund for exactly this sort of problem, and many Executive Offices do, too. Please find out about them, before you completely make up your mind. I think you're going to find your chapter and/or alumnae much easier to work with than you imagine.

Also, VandalSquirrel brings up a very good point. When I went through Recruitment, we were advised that our first year's financial obligations would be MUCH higher than upperclassmen. If you're in with upperclassmen, there's a lot of items which the sisters will share, cutting your cost in clothing for various functions, and other economies.

But, if you've already made up your mind, then talk to your Big Sister now. Let her know, and give her a chance to advise you. That's what she's supposed to be there for. Good luck to you.

[LucyAnne17]

Originally Posted by chicky3829

yea the dues are that much money.. it would be half that but they forget to mention we have housing dues and stuff to send to nationals.. furnishing fees and all that which doesn't make sense.. i think they are just putting a label on sending them a ton of money because i dont see how we have to pay that much money just to maintain the house.. esp when i dont even live in it..
and to reply to zeta13girl, i don't have a job because i have a full courseload so theres no way i could maintain a job and keep getting the good grades i get.. plus my sorority doesnt understand if u have a job - they expect you to work around wat the sorority requires you to do.. it stinks!

I am confused by this statement. If you have to pay housing dues and all that, isn't it often cheaper to live in the house? Not only is your housing paid for, but ALL of your food as well. Trust me, living in an apartment is a lot more expensive than you think. I don't think a lot of people take into account the fact that when theyre in dorms/a house, its one amount.

You don't have to worry about whether the electricity/gas/cable/water/trash/internet/phone bill is going to be outrageous this month. And food prices are insane right now. You will easily spend 200-300 a MONTH on food alone.

Not to mention the TIME that you save by living in a house and not having to worry about making food, paying these bills, etc. It gives you that much more time for a part time job. You said you can't make all that money in the summer to pay dues, but what about working part time during the year too? Even 10 hours a week makes a huge difference.

AND- it is completely possible to have a job, be in a sorority, and get a 4.0. I've seen it done MANY TIMES. I myself work 30 hours a week, maintain a 3.5 for an academic scholarship, and pay for everything except tuition on my own. I am telling you, if you want it bad enough- it's possible.

I REALLY think you need to sit down with your advisers, e-board, whoever, ASAP, and explain to them your situation. MAKE them give you an exact budget- every chapter should have this. (on a side note, do you know if your chapter assesses? sp?) Then sit down and look at rents for your area, along will average bill prices. I'd be willing to bet you find its a better deal to live in the house.

You've gotten a lot of good advice here- so listen to it. There is always a way for you to stay involved and if you simply can't find one- obviously you don't really care as much about the organization as you claim.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by LucyAnne17

I am confused by this statement. If you have to pay housing dues and all that, isn't it often cheaper to live in the house?

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

[LucyAnne17]

Originally Posted by epchick

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

ugh that would be frustrating...did they ever end up getting a house?

[epchick]

Originally Posted by LucyAnne17

ugh that would be frustrating...did they ever end up getting a house?

No and from my understand they won't be getting a house in the near future.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by epchick

When I was an active we had to pay "housing dues" but we didn't have a house. It was suppose to go to a fund that would eventually buy a house, but it isn't like I (or any of my sisters) would see that money come to fruition.

maybe that is what chicky is talking about?

My chapter is currently doing the same thing. We still don't have a house, but a portion of dues goes toward Housing, and a percentage of all fundraisers does, also.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by chicky3829

yea the dues are that much money.. it would be half that but they forget to mention we have housing dues and stuff to send to nationals.. furnishing fees and all that which doesn't make sense.. i think they are just putting a label on sending them a ton of money because i dont see how we have to pay that much money just to maintain the house.. esp when i dont even live in it..
and to reply to zeta13girl, i don't have a job because i have a full courseload so theres no way i could maintain a job and keep getting the good grades i get.. plus my sorority doesnt understand if u have a job - they expect you to work around wat the sorority requires you to do.. it stinks!

What exactly is included in the $800? Is that just what you paid your first semester? Between dues, a parlor fee, a one-time housing and furnishing fee, badge fee, and other one-time National fees, $800 sounds on par for your first semester total IF your chapter dues are $400-450. If you live in the house, all you will have to pay are your chapter dues, plus anything not included (t-shirts, socials, etc. if your chapter does not have all-inclusive dues).

Or, do you mean that dues plus all the "extras" (t-shirts, socials, etc) totaled $800? Or did your chapter flat out lie about your chapter dues being $400-450?

[ASTalumna06]

I agree that it's definitely better to do it now. IF there is ANY way that your sisters can help you work through this situation, they'll have more time to figure it out now than they will at the end of the semester (with formals, finals, graduation plans, etc.). Springing it on them right before you'd be completely done with the sorority will probably make them think that you didn't much care to try to work out the problems you're having (even if you tried everything you could to stay). It just won't look good to drop on the last day that anything can be done about it... even if there's no possible way to fix it.

Also, I don't know what your specific financial situation is, but with the way the economy is right now, I would like to think that chapters would be much more understanding when someone indicates that they might not be able to afford their dues.

Talk with your big. And definitely find out the exact amount of your dues. That shouldn't be something that you have to question and wonder about.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

If your chapter does have a house then isn't there some way that your financial difficulties might make it possible for you to live in the house next year, thereby combining many of your expenses? It just might work. I have seen two women be active officers, have excellent grades and work not one but TWO jobs (not everyone can do this). But they loved their chapters so much that it was worth the sacrifice and they got so much out of it.

No matter what you decide to do, it seems like you should be working during the year anyways because no job is going to hold you ALL semester with housing, gas, etc. going on, even if you take sorority out of the equation.

[ISUKappa]

I have a feeling there's probably a communication breakdown between the chapter and how they're explaining the fees. The term Dues may not be all-encompassing. I know for both my undergrad chapter and where I advised, the Dues only included that portion of the house bill that was used for Officer budgets. It didn't include the room/board, parlor fee, or fees sent to Headquarters.

You would actually be surprised at how much money it takes to run a chapter house. It's a lot. But if you're not living in, you should theoretically have a somewhat reduced fee (I can't speak for your chapter, though, only from my personal experience). We called that the "parlor fee" and that gave every member, even those who didn't live in, the "right" to come over to the house at any time, use the common areas (to study, use the house computers or just hang out ) and eat a few meals each week.

Generally, I've found living in an apartment is actually more expensive than living in a chapter house. With the chapter house, your meals, utilities, etc... are all taken care of in the entire bill. Living in an apartment, not only are you responsible for your rent and food, you also have to take care of all the utilities and making sure all the bills are paid on time.

[CrackerBarrel]

If the other expenses are things like an apartment and food have you looked into moving into the house?

I don't know about sorority houses, but at least in my experience living in the fraternity house is significantly cheaper than living elsewhere. Rent is really low, utility bills are included, meals are included, you don't have to drive out to buy food, if sorority row is on or near campus you don't ever have to drive anywhere really.

[libramunoz]

Have you thought about living on campus and in the dorms? I don't know if your sorority requires you to live in their house, but have you tried thinking about living on campus and getting the meal plan? This would be able to help you with some of your expenses.
Look into your local newspaper and I'd bet that there are Home Health agencies or someone needing someone to stay with grandma/grandpa/aunt or uncle fester at night and would be willing to pay a decent wage that would help you out.
What options, as far as a job, have you been able to look into? I know that you said that you're carrying a full courseload, but if staying in your sorority is something that you want to do, you should be able to find something that would help in deferring your sorority cost expenses.
I know that you said that your sorority doesn't care if you have a job, but I'd bet, if you asked some of your sorors, you'd find out that yes, some of them do have a job. People understand what things are like right now, they know that yes, Virginia, some folks will have to work to pay for what they need. No you will not be able to attend EVERY function, but by working, you will be able to have the PEACE of mind in knowing that you don't owe anyone and that your fees are paid for. Don't think that folks won't understand, don't assume, people are more diverse in their feelings and in their understanding than what you may be thinking.
Being able to work and maintain a full courseload is hard, yes, but it can be done! I know that when I was in school, I had a full courseload and yes, I had to work. I didn't work off campus, but I was on campus and I had to fulfull those workstudy hours, the RA hours, and I had to maintain my GPA in order to maintain ANY and ALL scholarships that I had for that year! It can be done, but you just have to make up your mind in doing it.
But if you feel that you can't stay in your sorority, talk with your big now. I think that she will be able to help you or show you the way to help more than what you think. I know that you are apprehesive in talking to her, but do now because there may be more options than what you think.

[chicky3829]

this has all been great advice.. but i really honestly cannot afford it so i dont need advice on how to TRY and afford it. i can't afford it. simple as that. what i was asking advice on is when i should let the chapter know that i will be dropping out...
thanks..

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by chicky3829

this has all been great advice.. but i really honestly cannot afford it so i dont need advice on how to TRY and afford it. i can't afford it. simple as that. what i was asking advice on is when i should let the chapter know that i will be dropping out...
thanks..

Honestly, I'd be kind of pissed either way. I'd probably get over it faster if they were upfront right away about it than if they played along all semester like they were staying in and then announced they weren't coming back at the end.

And you might even talk to them about dropping out now and seeing if they'll refund a portion of your money so you can start saving again because it's going to be hella expensive living on your own.

I'm kinda thinking that money is just the excuse you're using (maybe even to yourself) and you're really dropping for other reasons. If you really wanted to stay in, you'd figure out a way.

ETA: is it just the sorority your parents won't help pay for? Would they help out with your housing (dorm or apartment) otherwise?

[icelandelf]

Originally Posted by chicky3829

this has all been great advice.. but i really honestly cannot afford it so i dont need advice on how to TRY and afford it. i can't afford it. simple as that. what i was asking advice on is when i should let the chapter know that i will be dropping out...
thanks..

ASAP.