How do I support my man when he pledges?

[ILoveMyMan]

OK, for everyone's information, I am not out to get the fraternity. This is a serious issue for me. I did not know that saying which fraternity my man is pledging was not allowed. Like I said, I am not Greek, therefor I am not familiar with this whole thing. I thought that since I have not said his name or where he is from that it was ok. Obviously it's not. my bad, I didn't know. All I wanted to know was how could I be there for him and how could I help him understand what I am going through and I was hoping that some of you who have been through this already could help me out. I meant no disrespect to anyone. Any other questions?

And you are all welcome to e-mail me at ILoveMyMan@greekchat.com

[This message has been edited by ILoveMyMan (edited February 28, 2001).]

[Hootie]

I applaud you ILoveMyMan by being patient with your man and by trying to understand what he's going through.
Similarly, people go through different changes once they enter college life and it often tears couples apart.
I, like the others, recommend getting involved in things for yourself. There is nothing worse than sitting around being lonely missing your man. Have you thought about going Greek yourself? Perhaps that would be very rewarding for you and then you could have a common bond. Plus you'll find sisterhood in a GLO to be lifelong. Their support and strength could help you in the future should things not go the way you want.
But either way, I've learned not to sit around and wait for a man. Do stuff for yourself and be your own person! You'll regret it and wonder where all your time went if you don't!
Good Luck, and lets remember that not EVERYBODY knows what is "okay" and "not okay" to talk about!
Greek Love,
Hootie

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What do you get when you cross and Alpha Omicron Pi and a Sigma Phi Epsilon? A beautiful Chi Omega!!!

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by Hootie:
Have you thought about going Greek yourself? Perhaps that would be very rewarding for you and then you could have a common bond. Plus you'll find sisterhood in a GLO to be lifelong. Their support and strength could help you in the future should things not go the way you want.

NOPE!! Sorry, I disagree with that reasoning for joining a GLO, especially a BGLO. DO NOT JOIN A SORORITY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF!! You join a sorority because you are committed to their ideals and principles as well as sisterhood.
What I would recommend while your boyfriend is busy pursuing his interests is that you spend time with your friends, STUDY , work out, catch up on your sleep, read a book, etc. As Hootie said, joining a SORORITY is a life long endeavor and it should be pursued for more than just the SUPERFICIAL REASON as my man is busy joining a fraternity so I might as well ATTEMPT TO JOIN a sorority. We have too many people in our orgs who join for the wrong reasons and end up not contributing ANYTHING BENEFICIAL!!

I LOVE MY MAN, be strong and DO YOUR THING while your man is out doing his own. DO NOT LOSE WHO YOU ARE FOR A MAN, EVER!!

[AXO Alum]

Originally posted by Serenity:
LOL! That was just too funny, AXO Alum.

Always looking for a laugh!!

ILOVEMYMAN:

You said "I did not know that saying which fraternity my man is pledging was not allowed." -- now you do so I would suggest editing your post to take out the name of the org. since we try to respect all org's on here, and that did come across as offensive. People on here can be very critical of each other (yes, including me) but we always try to remember that although we come from different backgrounds, we are all greek together. You would not have gotten such a negative response if you had left out the name of the organization.

[chickenlittle]

Young Lady,

Just keep loving your man. His process will not last forever. If you truly love him and he truly loves you, love will last forever.

Just understand that he is seeking a lifelong commitment. So if you love him like you say you do, you need to just be there and respect what he what he is doing.

Who knows, by doing this, it may help you to also become a lifelong commitment.

I understand why you posted. I am sure you did not intend to put any orgs business out there. You just wanted to gain a little understanding.

Tell your man how you feel and what you did, so he knows. If he understands, that's all that matters. We have no right to judge your intentions over a computer terminal.

Patience is a virtue. He will have some free time sooner or later.

[Crimson Diva]

I understand that you knew nothing of the greek life process. Now you know that discretion is of the upmost importance. The best thing you can do is be patient and understanding. Realize that for a while your man may not have much time for you and that the time he has may be devoted to studying and any sleep he can manage to get, but it won't last forever. This is no reflection of his love for you.