NotSoRetro's Deferred Recruitment at a Private School

[CougarGrad]

All right, since Houston seems to no longer be an option, and nobody else has laid claim yet, I will sing... "it's up to you, New York... New York!"

[NotSoRetro]

Day Two

At that time, day two of recruitment was Philanthropy Day. Each chapter had some sort of craft or activity related to their philanthropy. We were told to wear fun casual, which I interpreted to mean one step up from Open House. I wore a black wool sweater with camel colored side button pants. This was my favorite outfit of all of recruitment week and with my great schedule in hand, I felt like a million bucks.

First house on my list was:

New York - I was picked up by a member who I had a class with first semester. Ordinarily that would have been a good thing, but I found this girl to be really annoying in class. Always asking questions, even when she didn't have a legit question, just to be the professor's favorite. She took me to a table towards the back of the room and sat me facing a wall (which made me nervous that they didn't want me). We do the craft, which I can't remember much about, and then watch a short video. After the video, the sister excused herself and just left me sitting at the table all by my lonesome. I tried to look calm and comfortable, but she didn't come back until they started chanting us out. I was not a happy camper and felt like there was no way I'd be invited back, but I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong here.

Los Angeles - I was picked up again by the girl from my high school, but was really quickly bumped by someone I had a class with first semester. I didn't know this girl very well and she was a bit shy, but I was so excited to be back because of this house's reputation. The craft involved painting and I remember that I was really embarassed by how bad mine turned out -- I'm normally pretty creative, but I guess I was too nervous or something. They had a cute little song instead of a video and I got to meet tons of sisters when we were done with the craft. At the end of the party, they chanted us out with a really fun and exciting song. I left feeling like I definitely wanted to come back and know more.

Atlanta - The chapter came out with a great song and picked us up individually, which made me feel really welcome. We went in and did another non-descript craft, but we had more in depth conversations than any of the previous chapters I had been to that day. My rusher was a girl I had met at some parties first semester. She was extremely engaging and asked me lots of questions about what I was looking for in a sorority. I gave her the usual answers -- a place where I can be myself, have a lot of fun and feel like I am giving back. She introduced me to the chapter's president which I was really honored by and told me that she hoped I would be back to see their skit tomorrow night. I was on cloud nine!

Chicago - I was really surprised I was invited back because I didn't fit their stereotype. Again, I was picked up by another brunette and she took me to do their craft which was very short and more like a party activity than anything else. Once we finished about five seconds later, there was a crazy level of energy and we were bumped from one girl to the next. Again, all their questions seemed genuine and I had an awesome time. I was so surprised that there were so many girls in this chapter like me. I definitely wanted to see their skit.

Boston - I was paired here again with an upperclassman that I didn't know all too well. She took me in to do the craft and we spent most of our time sitting together and chatting. I wasn't really feeling it at all. Everything we talked about seemed to just fall flat and I was so disappointed because this had been one of my faves the entire previous semester.

Miami - I had hoped that yesterday's experience wouldn't be repeated, and that I would enjoy myself here. But, a lot of people had released Miami the night before, and that made me a little hesitant to really enjoy the party. The girls came out of the house in a super cute formation, and walked down the front steps while singing to pick us up. I was picked up by someone I had never met, but she was ADORABLE! She introduced me to everyone she could find and really rushed me hard. I met the president, recruitment chairs, and got to talk to my neighbor who was a Miami. We didn't even go in to do the craft until way after everyone else. While I was trying to craft, we were bombarded by more sisters stopping by to say hi. I was the last rushee out of the house!

At this point, I was feeling very cocky about recruitment. I thought it was such a breeze and I was trying to evaluate what I would do if I got all my invites back from today since we could only go to four events tomorrow. I was pretty certain that New York would be out, but I didn't know what other house I would regret. Maybe Boston because the party wasn't that fun today? Maybe Miami because so many other rushees had released them? What to do?

Accept/regret wasn't scheduled for that night, instead it was the next morning. I could not stop analyzing and trying to make decisions. A lot of my friends who had been cut, had been cut by Boston, which made me feel honored that I got to go back. Conversely, a lot of my friends who seemed to be having good rushes had either already released Miami or were thinking they would release Miami at their next opportunity. I was pretty torn, without even knowing whether I needed to be or not, and was pretty sure that whichever chapters I chose to regret, I would regret with interest, in case I made the wrong decision.

The next morning, I walked to accept/regret and was feeling pretty confident. My name was called and I went over to my Rho Chi, who remember I thought was likely a Boston.

She read my invite list back to me:

Chicago
New York
Boston
Los Angeles
Miami
Atlanta

All six back again! I regretted with interest New York right away and then without much more thought, I regretted with interest Miami. I had had fun, but I really wanted to be in a top chapter and I just couldn't justify releasing a top chapter Boston over Miami. Plus, I loved my Rho Chi and I was pretty certain she was a Boston and I didn't want to release her chapter.

I went back to my room, shared the good news with my mom, and by the time I hung up with her, most of the girls on my hall were back and tons were in tears. Apparently, there had been a lot of cuts and some were pretty harsh. Girls being cut for grades from houses they had best friends from home in. New York released a triple legacy whose mother was involved with her GLO's nationals! Many, many scandalous cuts had gone down and I was happy I wasn't a part of any of them, but heartbroken for my friends.

We went out to lunch together to try and stay positive and then came back to the dorms to get ready for skit night.

[CougarGrad]

Keep it coming! I'm enjoying it. Although since I seem to be good at picking the ones who don't keep making the next bracket... maybe I will refrain from rooting for anyone in particular this round.

[TriDPrincess]

I'm rooting for Chicago- I love that city!

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Ahh! No more Miami!? What is a Miamian to do? I guess I'll root for Atlanta.

[MerryGPhiB]

This is a great thread! keep the story coming!!

[Buttonz]

Why do I get the feeling that her Rho Chi is a Miami?

[sthrnsweetie007]

I don't know but I have that feeling too or that her Rho Chi is from a sorority she totally didn't expect her to be from.

[NotSoRetro]

Just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to update anything further until tomorrow afternoon. Sorry for dropping off -- I know that annoys me, but some things have come up at work and with family. Thanks for reading my story and I can't wait to finish sharing it.

[lovespink88]

aw thanks for the heads up at least!

[ZTA72]

Originally Posted by NotSoRetro

Just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to update anything further until tomorrow afternoon. Sorry for dropping off -- I know that annoys me, but some things have come up at work and with family. Thanks for reading my story and I can't wait to finish sharing it.

Thanks for letting us know..I've been tuning in frequently for updates!

[NotSoRetro]

Skit Night
Panhellenic had sent us information about proper attire for each day before recruitment. It would have been helpful if this had included pictures, but instead we were left to decipher exactly what a term like "snappy casual" actually meant. Ugh! Skit Night attire was listed as business/church attire. I had heard from older friends that traditionally it had been suggested PNMs wear suits. At 18, I had no idea that there were different kinds of suits -- social suits, cocktail suits, business suits, etc. I just knew I needed a jacket and matching bottoms. I also wasn't thrilled about spending a lot of money on a suit.

My brother took me shopping (he lived in our college town) before winter break, and we found a brown wool business suit on sale at a reasonably nice store. It fit pretty well, but the pants were a little short. It was also definitely a business suit. I had paired it with a gold silk shirt. I can't remember the designer of the shirt, but I know I loved it, because it was some designer that I had heard other girls talk about. Theory, maybe? Anyway, because the pants on the suit were a bit short, I needed flat shoes. And this is where I made the biggest fashion mistake of my life -- I bought round toe camel flats and wore them with my almost too short dark brown business suit pants -- I looked like a clown (in hindsight of course).

So I put on my ensemble and head to get my schedule. I already know where I am going and I am feeling pretty good, but a bit self conscious in my business suit. Most of the other girls in my dorm are wearing similar black suits, or just a business casual outfit, so I don't feel too out of place... yet. When I get to the student center, I realize I totally misinterpreted this suit thing. Girls are wearing Chanel-like social suits, DVF dresses with cute little jackets, bootcut pants with gorgeous heels -- not my frumpy interpretation. There's no time to change though and I decide to just make the best of it.

Onto the first skit...

Atlanta - I am picked up by a girl I have never met before, but have seen around campus. We walk into the house together and I am given a cup of pink punch and led into a room that is draped in white fabric and has white tables all around. We sit down at a table and she tells me about their skit and how it exemplifies their chapter. The skit is supposed to show that any type of girl can thrive as an Atlanta. She asks me what I am involved in on campus, what I want out of a sorority and I tell her that I want to be really involved in my chapter, live in the house and have the sisters I have never had before (my family is all boys). She smiles and leads me into the room where the skit will take place. This room is draped in black and they perform an adorable skit, but it doesn't have all the special effects I was expecting to see -- my campus was definitely a frills campus then. Their entire chapter is in the skit in some way though, and I think that's really cool, I could see myself up on that stage in a year. We're escorted out, and a girl I went to high school with taps me on my shoulder to give me a hug and let me know that she hopes to see me tomorrow -- I hope for the same thing.

Boston - In the line outside of their house, it is completely apparent I have gotten it ALL wrong with my outfit. I am nervous, because this chapter is full of stylish girls and I don't want them to see that maybe I don't have it together in that area yet. We're led into the house while loud music plays. I am picked up by someone I have never met before. She's not in the skit, so she leads me into the skit room and sits to talk with me for a bit. She tells me that their skit requires a lot of talent (PM me if you want details, but I think it might give away the campus and chapter), and she's more of a quiet member anyway. I respect that, but also know I don't want to be a background member of my chapter. Am I paired with her because that's what they'd see me as if I pledged? Their skit is nothing short of amazing, but it's not something I could see myself doing. I don't relate with the songs -- I didn't go to private school or boarding school, like one of their jokes, and I kind of feel like I would just be pretending if I joined here. I'm disappointed, but I still try to put my best face forward and leave feeling like I could potentially be invited back.

Los Angeles - I am so honored to be back at Los Angeles. I had heard a rumor that they had only been cut by 3 pnm's so far this week -- I know everyone wants to be a Los Angeles, and that there's nothing negative to say about them. I am picked up by someone I had a class with first semester, but didn't really know. We go straight into the skit, and are seated on risers. The set is very elaborate and it's clear to me that this will be a great skit. The talent level of the members in the skit was really high -- excellent singing, etc. The chapter looks amazing and it's the kind of chapter that anyone would be lucky to be a part of, but I am not feeling any real attachment. Maybe my disillusionment with Boston is spilling over, but I don't think I'll be coming back to Los Angeles.

Chicago - While I am lined up outside Chicago, I see my roommate who is on her way to Los Angeles. She says that while she was in Chicago, one of her rushers mentioned me to her and said she loved me. I ask my roommate (who I have neutral to negative feelings for) if she's interested in Chicago, and she says yes, but not as much as other chapters. Besides, I think they want you way more than they want me. They talked about you a lot! I am feeling really good when their doors swing open and they run out to pick us up. They are playing and singing a cute song and lead us into an amazing set. It's like a dream sequence sort of set and at the very front of the room is a college dorm room set. I was picked up by a completely new girl and she leads me in and gives me a quick intro on the skit. It is performed by sophomores only and is one of the biggest bonding experiences she's had in the house (she's a junior so she's not in the skit). We watch the skit and it's really funny! Afterwards, their entire sophomore class sits on stage together and one of the main characters talks about what Chicago means to them and what they are looking for in their new class. I am touched! It's really meaningful and I feel a strong connection. After the skit, my rusher sits next to me and then the sweet girl who picked me up on day one joins us too. They talk to me about why I would want to be a Chicago and ask if I feel at home here. As we walk out, I cannot wait to come back to Chicago tomorrow. I know I am at home here!

We have another long, long night before accept/regret the next day. I am pretty sure I am going to get cut by at least Boston. I feel like it's been just too perfect at this point and I am pretty nervous about getting my list, because I really really want to be invited back to Chicago and Atlanta. I can't imagine having to go back to the other two at this point, even though they are strong chapters.

[NotSoRetro]

I go back to the dorms for the rest of the night, and I see my friend from across the hall, Lauren (the Miami). I hadn't anticipated that I would feel this way, but I feel ashamed I released her chapter. Sort of like I had slapped her and our friendship in the face. It was still silence so we couldn't talk, but this was weighing very heavily on me.

I decided to go talk to our RA, who was not Greek, because I just need a more impartial view. My mom wasn't really helpful at this point, because she just didn't understand having never gone through and not having been to a normal college. My RA, Jamie, was so understanding, but she told me something Lauren had shared with her that made me feel even worse. Lauren had told Jamie that she really wanted me as her little sis and hoped that I would be able to see that although Miami wasn't the best chapter on campus, it would be a great home for me. Lauren wasn't comfortable rushing me because she really just wanted for me to be happy.

After my conversation with Jamie, I felt badly still, but not quite badly enough to change my thinking. One, I had cut Miami and there was no way I could be one now, and two, I thought I was top house on campus material. I had gone to all of the "best" chapters today and that's where I would end up pledging. I was sad to realize that I wouldn't be able to call Lauren a sister, but generally ecstatic with my recruitment.

[Just interested]

Didn't you regret with interest. Maybe, just maybe....

[tangelo212]

I am truly enjoying this story.
I think you describe a lot of the emotions PNMs experience during recruitment perfectly. I would have totally felt the same way about Lauren and Miami--I think it is a really common feeling many girls have during the process and can relate to.