Boyfriends and Crushes

[AlphaFrog]

OP = 2005

Yeah...

[DeltAlum]

Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu...

[Scandia]

What would you do if the person you had a crush on (assume both of you are single and the person can return your love) also has a lot of other people crushing on him or her? Should you even bother pursuing the person? Or are you setting yourself up for heartache?

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Scandia

What would you do if the person you had a crush on (assume both of you are single and the person can return your love) also has a lot of other people crushing on him or her? Should you even bother pursuing the person? Or are you setting yourself up for heartache?

Yes, clearly if something is desirable to others, you should give up on it

[cheerfulgreek]

I dunno. That's such a good question. It's hard to tell, I guess that's where trust comes into the picture. My X was really cute and a lot of girls liked him and he cheated on me with one of them, so I just think for me it would depend on the guy. Generally if I think a guy's cute, then I know other women will too, so I'll just take my chances, because I wouldn't wanna be with a guy that wasn't cute.

[James]

Thats just silly.

ITs like saying you should find the most busted up person with some annoying personality disorder to date, just so you can feel safe because no other sane, non-busted-up, non-angst-ridden human being would ever want them.

Someone shouldn't be with you just because they have no other choice. It doesn't say much about them and it certainly doesn't say much about those that pick their mates that way.

Originally Posted by Scandia

What would you do if the person you had a crush on (assume both of you are single and the person can return your love) also has a lot of other people crushing on him or her? Should you even bother pursuing the person? Or are you setting yourself up for heartache?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by James

Thats just silly.

ITs like saying you should find the most busted up person with some annoying personality disorder to date, just so you can feel safe because no other sane, non-busted-up, non-angst-ridden human being would ever want them.

Someone shouldn't be with you just because they have no other choice. It doesn't say much about them and it certainly doesn't say much about those that pick their mates that way.

10 points for James

[Scandia]

ITs like saying you should find the most busted up person with some annoying personality disorder to date, just so you can feel safe because no other sane, non-busted-up, non-angst-ridden human being would ever want them.

Sadly, I have been told that about a person's looks (NOT personality or inner qualities). That it was good if he was ugly because that way nobody would want to steal him away from you. I understand where the persons were coming from- one had faced adultery, the other ones were close to the person who had been cheated on, so they wanted to make sure that there were no opportunities for the person to stray- but that is still not right.

I am glad they have changed their minds.

And I am not concerned about "ruining the friendship", since after all, he does not even live in my town and we only see each other a few times a year (though we talk online much more often than that).

[KSig RC]

Originally Posted by Scandia

Sadly, I have been told that about a person's looks (NOT personality or inner qualities). That it was good if he was ugly because that way nobody would want to steal him away from you. I understand where the persons were coming from- one had faced adultery, the other ones were close to the person who had been cheated on, so they wanted to make sure that there were no opportunities for the person to stray- but that is still not right.

I am glad they have changed their minds.

And I am not concerned about "ruining the friendship", since after all, he does not even live in my town and we only see each other a few times a year (though we talk online much more often than that).

TY WEBB: Do you do drugs, Danny?
DANNY NOONAN: Every day, sir.

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by Scandia

What would you do if the person you had a crush on (assume both of you are single and the person can return your love) also has a lot of other people crushing on him or her? Should you even bother pursuing the person? Or are you setting yourself up for heartache?

So what if other people like them? If you want him/her, put yourself out there.

I have never understood the point to that kind of rational.......

[Scandia]

I'm glad you're encouraging me to follow my heart. You don't even know me, and you are already much more confident in me than what some people were back then before I blossomed into a beautiful swan.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

If the roles were reversed, homegirl would have to blow me outta the water. Because I am like a "Maybach" and I would be pissed if he dumped me for a cracky whore is like a Pinto with an anti-theft device in South Central LA.

If he wanted the bootlegged crap, then hey, he can have her...

Old and busted vs. "New Hottness"?

You are tooo much!! Oh please believe I agree!

Originally Posted by Scandia

Sadly, I have been told that about a person's looks (NOT personality or inner qualities). That it was good if he was ugly because that way nobody would want to steal him away from you. I understand where the persons were coming from- one had faced adultery, the other ones were close to the person who had been cheated on, so they wanted to make sure that there were no opportunities for the person to stray- but that is still not right.

I am glad they have changed their minds.

And I am not concerned about "ruining the friendship", since after all, he does not even live in my town and we only see each other a few times a year (though we talk online much more often than that).

Even if you went to go get the most busted faced person on earth someone still saw something in them, maybe not their looks, but I have seen (which I am sure we all have) people who look far less than attractive in relationships and quite possibly they cheat too. Just like you (the general you) saw something in that person, dosent meant no one else will!!! The guy I am involved with is quite attractive, and other people think he is also, but that dosent mean I am going to tuck my tail and hide.

Originally Posted by KSig RC

TY WEBB: Do you do drugs, Danny?
DANNY NOONAN: Every day, sir.

You are funny!

[susan314]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

Even if you went to go get the most busted faced person on earth someone still saw something in them, maybe not their looks, but I have seen (which I am sure we all have) people who look far less than attractive in relationships and quite possibly they cheat too. Just like you (the general you) saw something in that person, dosent meant no one else will!!! The guy I am involved with is quite attractive, and other people think he is also, but that dosent mean I am going to tuck my tail and hide.

This is true - there are no easy answers. One could argue that an extremely good-looking person may have more opportunities/temptations to cheat. But one could also argue the danger of assuming that a less-attractive person would be less likely to stray - perhaps that less-attractive person would have confidence issues and/or not as much experience with the opposite sex, so they would feel the need to jump at any opportunity that comes his/her way...they may feel like they need to "prove something" and wouldn't want to pass on any prospects.

Its better to make your assessment on the character of the individual person involved, rather than try to lump "good looking" and "less-attractive" people into broad categories.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by susan314

Its better to make your assessment on the character of the individual person involved, rather than try to lump "good looking" and "less-attractive" people into broad categories.

I wasn't doing that, I was simply responding to the post, but I do understand what you mean.

[susan314]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

I wasn't doing that, I was simply responding to the post, but I do understand what you mean.

Oh definitely - I didn't mean to imply that you said that. More just a general statement. (In regard to the poster who mentioned she had been told to seek out "ugly" people because they were less likely to cheat - her friends are the ones who should have been looking at the character of the individual.)

Sorry for any misunderstanding!