Greek Romantic Troubles. - Page 2

prettyv · #16 03-17-2011, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

BTW, thanks for removing the entertainment potential of this thread.

Sorry. Let me try again.

U guyz are so unfair. We are soooooooo IN LOVE, and you don't get it. His letters look much nicer on a sweatshirt than mine

But honestly:
To answer some of the curiosity/logistic questions, there's no "you can only lavalier once" rule in the house, but I there is skepticism. They're fairly selective about what girls they let wear their letters. Most girls are ones who it's obvious that there is a serious future between them. Also, he hasn't ASKED his brothers, it's just obvious to the both of us that there would be at least SOME resistance. Which is absolutely fair. I wouldn't want every girl who claimed to be in love in my fraternity to be able to give our letters to guys. I understand that.

The part I have trouble with is where I am inexperienced. It's not so much about the letters as the fact that he's been in love before, and there's tangible evidence of that? It's hard for me to fathom, but I am pretty bad at relationships/love in general.

I do appreciate your honestly, everyone, even when it stung. My sisters are amazing women with a lot of admirable qualities.... tough love is not one of them.

DrPhil · #17 03-17-2011, 10:13 PM

I like prettyv.

Good luck to you and yours.

prettyv · #18 03-17-2011, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum

That's the question that you need to answer. Do you love him for all that he is - or do you just "love" him because he's a member of XYZ fraternity and you want to be able to wear his letters?

To answer this, no, this would never be a deal breaker.

AZTheta · #19 03-17-2011, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyv

Sorry. Let me try again.

U guyz are so unfair. We are soooooooo IN LOVE, and you don't get it. His letters look much nicer on a sweatshirt than mine

(And I don't think there are prettier letters than the ones you wear, FWIW!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyv

I do appreciate your honestly, everyone, even when it stung. My sisters are amazing women with a lot of admirable qualities.... tough love is not one of them.

Sometimes tough love is exactly what we all need. When I was a teenager, my father once said "you can tell AzTheta anything, as long as it isn't the truth." Boy did that ever sting, but I grew immensely from that comment. He pointed out that I was impossible when I didn't hear what I wanted to hear. Now, *shrug*, I roll with most punches. I grew up, thankfully.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I like prettyv.

Good luck to you and yours.

Ditto.

MysticCat · #20 03-17-2011, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyv

The part I have trouble with is where I am inexperienced. It's not so much about the letters as the fact that he's been in love before, and there's tangible evidence of that? It's hard for me to fathom, but I am pretty bad at relationships/love in general.

The reality is that this is something you're just going to have learn to live with and deal with, so now is as good a time as any. You can't undo history -- he was in love with someone else. He's not now, but that past experience is (probably) part of what made him who you love now. As long as he's not being insensitive about earlier relationships, accept them for what they were and move on.

As far as his letters go, tell him as long as you have him that's all you care about and don't mention the letters again. If he decides to bring it up with his brothers, that's his business and his decision.

Optimus Prime · #21 03-17-2011, 11:04 PM

Good luck Prettyv. You seem very level headed and I hope everything works out for the best

psy · #22 03-17-2011, 11:25 PM

Quote:

ETA: I actually confused psy with prettyv there.

LOL. I was wondering for a moment there...

33girl · #23 03-18-2011, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prettyv

The part I have trouble with is where I am inexperienced. It's not so much about the letters as the fact that he's been in love before, and there's tangible evidence of that? It's hard for me to fathom, but I am pretty bad at relationships/love in general.

Some people are in love a zillion times in their life. Some only once. The one who is in love only once isn't necessarily "more" in love than the zillion-timer.

If anything, thank his whiny ex. She taught him a good lesson - don't cave about important things because it might really screw you down the line.

DrPhil · #24 03-18-2011, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psy

LOL. I was wondering for a moment there...

I was also wondering. LOL. I had to re-read the posts and the usernames. My fault.

DeltaBetaBaby · #25 03-18-2011, 02:54 PM

Look at it this way: there were probably lots of things wrong with him that he already fixed for you.

adpiucf · #26 03-18-2011, 06:30 PM

Lavaliering is a status symbol. He's already thinking about engagement. I think that says a lot more than a stupid letter drop.

jhawk2817 · #27 05-26-2011, 02:26 AM

classic case of taking-greek-life-too-seriously.

I am third gen Pike, with two of my uncles AND 4 cousins + my own brother joining Pikes in 11 different schools. So trust me when I say it gets old. Dont get me wrong, I like the tradition and all, but introducing heartaches in relationships on silly premises and traditions suitable for teens is just a tad too much.

Plus, it is not his fault that you were not close to any guy before you met him. How do you expect him to wait for you (retrospectively) in the past while he had a chance of meeting people. Solution: There is none, because I dont see a legitimate problem here.

33girl · #28 05-26-2011, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Lavaliering is a status symbol. He's already thinking about engagement. I think that says a lot more than a stupid letter drop.

I don't agree with this at all - that it's only a status symbol - and calling lavaliering "stupid" is pretty whack.

If lavaliering in your experience has been lame, sorry, but that's not everyone's experience and no reason to trash it.

agzg · #29 05-26-2011, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhawk2817

classic case of taking-greek-life-too-seriously.

I am third gen Pike, with two of my uncles AND 4 cousins + my own brother joining Pikes in 11 different schools. So trust me when I say it gets old. Dont get me wrong, I like the tradition and all, but introducing heartaches in relationships on silly premises and traditions suitable for teens is just a tad too much.

Plus, it is not his fault that you were not close to any guy before you met him. How do you expect him to wait for you (retrospectively) in the past while he had a chance of meeting people. Solution: There is none, because I dont see a legitimate problem here.

WTF? Why does this even matter? Your uncles' experience gives you more credibility somehow?

Way to bump a thread where the OP got her vent out and came to a good conclusion just so that you could give a (now irrelevant to the OP's situation, I would assume) stupid opinion with a good dash of "Well I know because I am related to 7,000 Pikes" even though that doesn't matter.

RE: Other people's opinions on lavaliering, I tend to be with 33girl. For me, it was just never something I wanted, but that doesn't mean some of my sisters who eventually were lavaliered by their boyfriends didn't see it as significant evolution in their relationships. I do think that most of the women I know who were lavaliered did end up marrying their college boyfriends and they seem to be doing fine. It might not matter after college but there are a crap ton of things that don't matter after college.

katydidKD · #30 05-26-2011, 12:37 PM

Some rainbows: I know of two girls that were lavaliered and the guy is now married to someone else. Their spouse was not lavaliered because of the one-person rule. He just made a mistake, but it'll still work out