Openly Gay Members - Page 2

RockyTopSNU · #16 03-04-2009, 01:08 AM

Im going to give you something to think about Beta here had 3 gay guys and they were quickly referred to as Betcha Date a GUY, the rep still hasnt gone away. It has been 10 years. My advice is don't lose out on great guys in the future because someone is trying to make a statement, one of our symbols is the book think about it.

Getting mine one day at a time.
LTH

Kevin · #17 03-04-2009, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RockyTopSNU

Im going to give you something to think about Beta here had 3 gay guys and they were quickly referred to as Betcha Date a GUY, the rep still hasnt gone away. It has been 10 years. My advice is don't lose out on great guys in the future because someone is trying to make a statement, one of our symbols is the book think about it.

Getting mine one day at a time.
LTH

I think culturally, in Edmond, OK, we are somewhat similar to Knoxville -- maybe not as Southern, but definitely as conservative. 10 years ago, I thought the same thing, and essentially, it was true. Acacia rushed a bunch of gay guys and since then has gone from around 80 to around 35 or so. I figured that freshmen pledges from conservative backgrounds weren't going to accept gays in the membership.

I think I was probably right 10 years ago. I'm certain that I'm wrong today. As far as I know, at least one of our members came out a few years ago. Since then, we've been doing better than ever at recruitment and have had huge success on campus, winning various contests among fraternities, getting top grades, we've had the last two consecutive student body presidents.

We can have a biblical debate as to which principles are more important, i.e, Jesus' 'one commandment' vs. the prohibitions in Romans, etc., but the bottom line, I think, is that each chapter ought to do what they feel is best. If a guy is acceptable to give a bid to or to approve for initiation, then maybe his sexuality enters into your thinking. That's up to y'all.

ealymc · #18 04-13-2009, 11:42 AM

I'm wondering if I have anything more to contribute here, but as a gay Sigma Nu, I suppose I'd be remiss in staying quiet...

I chose to come out to my brothers shortly after my 21st birthday, the fall following my initiation, which was 5 years ago this month. The truth of the matter is, most of my brothers were already well-aware... they just wanted me to actually own it so it could become one of the things we pick at each other about... if your chapter is anything like mine, we make fun of each other WAY more than we would ever allow anyone from the outside to do. The rest of my brothers had grown to know and love me for who I am, and when they were clued in to the fact I was homosexual, many had real eye-opening and personal growing experiences. I had broken nearly all stereotypes and no one had anything negative as far as my contributions and worth as a member. That was a personal victory because I knew perceptions had changed forever in these men just by me being who I am.

Naturally, as seems the case with many homosexuals, I had classic overachiever syndrome - you feel the need to find some validation by trying to be the best at whatever it may be. As a black gay man in a predominately white fraternity, I was in hyper mode - which in my tenure as an active worked wonders for our name on campus. Orientation Staff leader, student government executive, SOCIAL CHAIRMAN (my one true calling, I think), etc.. I helped really get Sigma Nu's name was out there... all positive. Kind of like my fraternal shout-out to 12 million viewers of Wheel of Fortune two Fridays ago. [You're welcome.

]

Bottom line for me: I think the overall perceptions and societal attitudes towards gays are shifting and there are great advantages to be gained from tapping into this previously untapped niche of rushees. You may not feel the need to actively recruit gays - to each his own - but if you happen to end up with one in your midst, embrace the situation, love your brother for who he is, and see the possibilities that may arise from harnessing this hidden gem.

P.S. I should have charged for my abilities in matchmaking - 3 couples married thus far...

All a product of a friend confiding to me her interest in a brother of mine - something she would never have done with any of the other men in my house.

RockyTopSNU · #19 04-21-2009, 10:25 AM

My response was never an attack to the gay community. In fact, I am very liberal... The point i was drawing at that at my school In eastern Tennessee that would murder our chapter. I am very sure we have had or will have gay members who never came out. However due to southern ideals a gay member would run us into the ground. I know your going to want to tell me that we can be the "First", "diverse","open", but thats now how things work in the SEC.

BTW this was said with complete respect and not meant to offend you, also if A-state is app state our chapter advisor was one of your founding fathers
Jerry Adams

Anyways thats my 2 cents

Getting mine one day at a time

LTH

Elephant Walk · #20 04-21-2009, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ealymc

I'm wondering if I have anything more to contribute here, but as a gay Sigma Nu, I suppose I'd be remiss in staying quiet...

I chose to come out to my brothers shortly after my 21st birthday, the fall following my initiation, which was 5 years ago this month. The truth of the matter is, most of my brothers were already well-aware... they just wanted me to actually own it so it could become one of the things we pick at each other about... if your chapter is anything like mine, we make fun of each other WAY more than we would ever allow anyone from the outside to do. The rest of my brothers had grown to know and love me for who I am, and when they were clued in to the fact I was homosexual, many had real eye-opening and personal growing experiences. I had broken nearly all stereotypes and no one had anything negative as far as my contributions and worth as a member. That was a personal victory because I knew perceptions had changed forever in these men just by me being who I am.

Naturally, as seems the case with many homosexuals, I had classic overachiever syndrome - you feel the need to find some validation by trying to be the best at whatever it may be. As a black gay man in a predominately white fraternity, I was in hyper mode - which in my tenure as an active worked wonders for our name on campus. Orientation Staff leader, student government executive, SOCIAL CHAIRMAN (my one true calling, I think), etc.. I helped really get Sigma Nu's name was out there... all positive. Kind of like my fraternal shout-out to 12 million viewers of Wheel of Fortune two Fridays ago. [You're welcome.

]

Bottom line for me: I think the overall perceptions and societal attitudes towards gays are shifting and there are great advantages to be gained from tapping into this previously untapped niche of rushees. You may not feel the need to actively recruit gays - to each his own - but if you happen to end up with one in your midst, embrace the situation, love your brother for who he is, and see the possibilities that may arise from harnessing this hidden gem.

P.S. I should have charged for my abilities in matchmaking - 3 couples married thus far...

All a product of a friend confiding to me her interest in a brother of mine - something she would never have done with any of the other men in my house.

How weird is it that I know this guy...or at least his brother?

Small world.

ealymc · #21 04-21-2009, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elephant Walk

How weird is it that I know this guy...or at least his brother?

Small world.

Here I am... PM me and see if I know who you're talkin about...

KyleMcGuire1983 · #22 09-02-2009, 03:17 AM

SNUIGC, I was wondering if we could get an update on that situation from a year and a half ago. Did you let his orientation affect your chapter's evaluation of him as a candidate? I hope you guys did the right thing.

AnotherKD · #23 09-02-2009, 07:44 AM

Have you spoken with your chapter/regional advisor? I know I was in a sorority and things might be different for you guys, but either Sophomore or Junior year, we had a sister come out as gay and so our regional advisor chose to kick her out of the sorority...

Kevin · #24 09-02-2009, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Have you spoken with your chapter/regional advisor? I know I was in a sorority and things might be different for you guys, but either Sophomore or Junior year, we had a sister come out as gay and so our regional advisor chose to kick her out of the sorority...

That's awful.

AnotherKD · #25 09-02-2009, 09:34 AM

No kidding. One of the few major things that made me very disillusioned about my group. I'm not saying KD in general, but just my chapter...

Kevin · #26 09-02-2009, 10:31 AM

I'm actually surprised that a chapter or regional adviser has that sort of authority, but I guess sororities work very differently. That said, you probably shouldn't be airing your grievances with the decisions of your organization in a public forum. Although I'm sympathetic, I recognize that your issue is something y'all need to handle internally.

AnotherKD · #27 09-02-2009, 11:00 AM

Hell, that was about 10 years ago. Since people don't know where I went to school... I was just saying because it was relevant to the topic.

Kevin · #28 09-02-2009, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Hell, that was about 10 years ago. Since people don't know where I went to school... I was just saying because it was relevant to the topic.

You would be surprised how well some people here pay attention. Don't count on anything like that staying secret for long if you continue to post here.

kddani · #29 09-02-2009, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

No kidding. One of the few major things that made me very disillusioned about my group. I'm not saying KD in general, but just my chapter...

It seems like almost everything you've posted is negative towards KD. Now, I know KD isn't perfect, and I have my own beefs with it, but why join a message board and really just post things about how you regret joining, etc., but then have something like KD for life in your signature? It just doesn't make sense.

Also, what you posted in this thread is likely not even the whole story (as these things tend to rarely be) and sounds more like rumor and conjecture than fact. There are a lot of factors that go into something like this and it's not right to speculate.

Sorry to the SN's for interfering in this thread, which I believe is a conversation all GLOs need to have.

AnotherKD · #30 09-02-2009, 11:47 AM

Yes, I'm sorry for hijacking, SN's, but just responding.

I say thati n my signature because I am a KD and will be for life. It's like me saying that I'm proud to be a woman, though there are definitely women out there that I do not like/get along with. Same with KD. I am proud to be a part of it and the greek system in general. There were just some people in my small chapter that made my experience not what I had imagined it would be.

As far as the openly gay issue, I just wanted to stress to the SN's that they should probably ask their alumni or regional advisors. I know that it affected my chapter because I was on the exec board when the board and advisor had the meeting as to whether or not to "allow" the girl to stay in. I agree with you that conjecture and rumors fly about within greek life- but this is not one of them, as I was there.

Thanks for listening.