Marrying Down? - Page 2

TheEpitome1920 · #16 05-28-2004, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ARTIC-U-LATE
Hello Ladies. Could the issue or stife be that some women enjoy the status of "documented" men, rather then some who just worked without going to through and completing the process of a formal education. I often find myself in this conversation with friends about whether I would even entertain the notion of dating a woman without "documented" education. As i get older and continue in my pursuits to be a college professor and widely published author- , I would feel uneasy in a relationship where a discussion about our college experience or the trials and error of graduate school is not revisited in the form of personal anecdotes. I guess that my academic pursuits are VERY important to me, I worked entirely too hard not to relish in it and to not have a women who is my EQUAL in every sense of the word.

Please note, this doesn't mean that we were raised in the same situation, but the level of personal rigor placed in creating a comfortable life for myself and my family. Just my thoughts...be easy.

I am looking....any of you ladies single?

Don't nobody want you Mr. Bougie!! I can see you now..."Can you provide me with documentation of this degree you speak of ?" LOL.

But I agree that it could trying to be with someone who may not have the same background as you. But...I know ya'll are going to laugh at me but it reminds me of Shrek 2, I just saw it yesterday,lol. Fiona was a princess but she fell in love with an Ogre. It worked for them!

Special1920 · #17 05-28-2004, 05:55 PM

I don't really like the phrase 'marrying down".
I have been married twice, neither husband has a college degree. Both are very good men, hard workers, intelligent, great jobs, the list of positive characteristics go on and on.
Although handsome, some sisters would not have looked twice at them, because they both came from the wrong side of town(chicago westside) and no degree, but their lost. This is why so many sisters are ALONE and will never marry. If he's a good man, dayum the degree.

TheEpitome1920 · #18 05-28-2004, 05:58 PM

That's a good point. I was just using the term used on the show. It implies that someone is beneath you because they have a different background.

And the west side of Chicago is the BEST side. Don't let those southsiders fool ya! lol.

msn4med1975 · #19 05-28-2004, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Don't nobody want you Mr. Bougie!! I can see you now..."Can you provide me with documentation of this degree you speak of ?" LOL.

But I agree that it could trying to be with someone who may not have the same background as you. But...I know ya'll are going to laugh at me but it reminds me of Shrek 2, I just saw it yesterday,lol. Fiona was a princess but she fell in love with an Ogre. It worked for them!

ROFL but she TURNED into an ogre and she was only a princess half the time. The other time she was rocking that ogre gear.

NinjaPoodle · #20 06-01-2004, 04:07 PM

Same general topic in the dating chat area
BLue Collar vs White Collar

ARTIC-U-LATE · #21 06-01-2004, 04:31 PM

THEepitome1920.....I will let you slide. Only because we have known each other so long. Through the years, I know damn well that we discussed this. Yo ass prolly agreed. Negro Please!-LOL

reddawn18 · #22 06-02-2004, 05:50 PM

I know I have had this convo with my friends all the time.

June's Essence has a write up on it "I married a Janitor and I'm happy" aka Men, Women and the New Power Gap.

TheEpitome1920 · #23 06-03-2004, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ARTIC-U-LATE
THEepitome1920.....I will let you slide. Only because we have known each other so long. Through the years, I know damn well that we discussed this. Yo ass prolly agreed. Negro Please!-LOL

Why you gotta air our conversations!! LOL.

TheEpitome1920 · #24 06-03-2004, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by reddawn18
I know I have had this convo with my friends all the time.

June's Essence has a write up on it "I married a Janitor and I'm happy" aka Men, Women and the New Power Gap.

Yeah I saw that article. Mad at the title.

LB1914 · #25 06-04-2004, 04:29 PM

I feel this is an issue and will continue to plague us for years to come.

I hate to sound uppity, but I personally cannot see myself marrying someone who does not have at least a BA or BS. I am currently working on an MBA and I plan to obtain a JD in the future. My future wife does not need to have a Master's, but she has to at least have a Bachelor's. I am aware that there are plenty of people out there that are doing well financially without a college education. However, I need someone that I can relate to.

On the flipside of that, my mother got remarried last year. Her husband(my stepfather)only has a high school diploma. I think it is really up to the individual in the end. Additionally, in my parents' generation there were plenty of people that were able to have careers without having to attend college or any other additional schooling. These are different times and we have different lifestyles these days.

reddawn18 · #26 06-04-2004, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Special1920
I don't really like the phrase 'marrying down".
I have been married twice, neither husband has a college degree. Both are very good men, hard workers, intelligent, great jobs, the list of positive characteristics go on and on.
Although handsome, some sisters would not have looked twice at them, because they both came from the wrong side of town(chicago westside) and no degree, but their lost. This is why so many sisters are ALONE and will never marry. If he's a good man, dayum the degree.

Not to pry but you said you were married twice, what ended the relationships?

reddawn18 · #27 06-04-2004, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LB1914
I feel this is an issue and will continue to plague us for years to come.

I hate to sound uppity, but I personally cannot see myself marrying someone who does not have at least a BA or BS. I am currently working on an MBA and I plan to obtain a JD in the future. My future wife does not need to have a Master's, but she has to at least have a Bachelor's. I am aware that there are plenty of people out there that are doing well financially without a college education. However, I need someone that I can relate to.

On the flipside of that, my mother got remarried last year. Her husband(my stepfather)only has a high school diploma. I think it is really up to the individual in the end. Additionally, in my parents' generation there were plenty of people that were able to have careers without having to attend college or any other additional schooling. These are different times and we have different lifestyles these days.

I can say this much, my aunt got remarried a couple of years ago. She has always told me she would never marry a man with at least a college education. She has her masters.

And who she married? A man who only has a third grade education and he provides for her! bought her a house and everything. So it has to do with the person. If he or she is sound. But I can tell you from my personal experience it never turned out so good. Its even harder when I try to better myself and the man can not get with the program. First thing out of his mouth is, "What you think you are white?" or "If I wanted a white girl, I would have gotten with one."

I guess my question is, when did black equate to ghetto and no education?

Maybe I got off the subject but it was burning inside of me.

And I read the Essence article. It was well done considering it was Essence (sometimes they have off months of good content).

LB1914 · #28 06-04-2004, 04:54 PM

One thing that I have always noticed in my graduate classes is that there are tons of women and only a few men. It is a single man's dream of course(lol), but I can imagine that it doesn't make the single women think that there are a lot of prospects out there.

98 Proof · #29 06-04-2004, 05:27 PM

Honestly, it should not be a problem, but society makes it a problem. It all depends on the individual. Both individuals are basically learning from each other. Look at it as an opportunity to share your life with your other. Marriage is about compromising, understanding, learning together. You are suppose to intertwine (make connections).

reddawn18 · #30 06-04-2004, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 98 Proof
Honestly, it should not be a problem, but society makes it a problem. It all depends on the individual. Both individuals are basically learning from each other. Look at it as an opportunity to share your life with your other. Marriage is about compromising, understanding, learning together. You are suppose to intertwine (make connections).

i agree with you but alot of people don't see it that way.