bid day gone wrong..so sorry this is long but heres my story

[FSUZeta]

So I take it that the OP depledged? Did she mention that somewhere and I missed it? If she did not, then surely she must be initiated by now, in which case, she MAY NOT join another NPC sorority.

[angels&angles]

I'm guessing this is deferred recruitment, in which case initiation probably isn't until March-ish

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Well her post (which has been deleted - but was qfp'ed) said that she rushed in the fall after transferring. Her location says Arizona and all three public universities in Arizona have formal recruitment in the fall. The fourth is Embry-Riddle with only 2 chapters, so doesn't remotely fit the profile.

[pinapple]

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority

That says it all. Which means they have NO idea what went on during the recruitment process on the "active" side. Your friends may tell you the actives know you, they my even think you "dropped" them, but the truth is they know nothing. With RFM, they had to have filled their quota before your number came up. If they wanted you sooooo bad you would have been on the top of their bid list which would have placed you in their house. I think you need to pull your head out of your butt and realize you were not screwed. You were just not their first choice. Does it suck? Yes, but you have no choice but to get over it. You were another house's first choice and in my mind you screwed them over by not even giving them a choice. So now two houses didn't want you, one did but you told them to take a hike so you will go into your next recruitment down three house. Good luck with that.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by pinapple

That says it all. Which means they have NO idea what went on during the recruitment process on the "active" side. Your friends may tell you the actives know you, they my even think you "dropped" them, but the truth is they know nothing. With RFM, they had to have filled their quota before your number came up. If they wanted you sooooo bad you would have been on the top of their bid list which would have placed you in their house. I think you need to pull your head out of your butt and realize you were not screwed. You were just not their first choice. Does it suck? Yes, but you have no choice but to get over it. You were another house's first choice and in my mind you screwed them over by not even giving them a choice. So now two houses didn't want you, one did but you told them to take a hike so you will go into your next recruitment down three house. Good luck with that.

Ding ding ding!

This x 1,000

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by lillyluv93

My friends are in the PLEDGE class for that sorority. I have 5 friends that all pledged for that sorority and to this day each one of them tells me how they really wanted me and how girls they just met (who are already in that sorority) know who I am and always ask what happened to her? or oh "she dropped us" so actually, no, they're not saying it to "cheer me up"

For the love of pete, my 8 year old sounds more mature when she pitches a fit about something.

lillyluv, you sound like an entitled child. Your friends who are in the most recent pledge class from this past fall know diddly squat about what was discussed during recruitment.

#1 and #2 might have really liked you. They just liked a lot of other girls MORE. And all those girls liked them MORE than their other options too. That's why you didn't get a bid. And very few members REALLY know what was discussed and why you were so low on their lists. If you were dead set against #3, you shouldn't have put them on your pref card at all.

By all means, go through it again in the fall. Get your grades and recs in order. But don't expect a better outcome. You'll be at a huge disadvantage, so if you really want a chance at sisterhood, be willing and happy to accept a bid anywhere. If you're not, then don't sign a pref card.

[andthen]

Oh my gosh. 1. The OP is clearly not accepting the facts and moving on 2. I'm going to get some popcorn. Can't wait to see how it turns out during next recruitment for the OP.

Btw I'm glad someone QFP'd

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by AZ-AlphaXi

Well her post (which has been deleted - but was qfp'ed) said that she rushed in the fall after transferring. Her location says Arizona and all three public universities in Arizona have formal recruitment in the fall. The fourth is Embry-Riddle with only 2 chapters, so doesn't remotely fit the profile.

Whoops, that's what I get for skimming. I'll keep my mouth shut and enjoy the show.

[TurtleloveUCLA]

If she is at U of A she can only pref 2 houses, not 3. So many whine about "top" when ALL of the houses are huge and have much diversity. Each house is a home.
So many girls received bids to houses and didn't show up to bid day. My daughter was appalled at many girls behavior.
Active go through a lot of work. They have feelings too. Many were hurt by the rejection (immature whiners) of the PMN's.
This one needs to reconsider what a sorority is for. She hurt feelings by not showing up for bid day and giving a try. Shame on her!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by pinapple

That says it all. Which means they have NO idea what went on during the recruitment process on the "active" side. Your friends may tell you the actives know you, they my even think you "dropped" them, but the truth is they know nothing. With RFM, they had to have filled their quota before your number came up. If they wanted you sooooo bad you would have been on the top of their bid list which would have placed you in their house. I think you need to pull your head out of your butt and realize you were not screwed. You were just not their first choice. Does it suck? Yes, but you have no choice but to get over it. You were another house's first choice and in my mind you screwed them over by not even giving them a choice. So now two houses didn't want you, one did but you told them to take a hike so you will go into your next recruitment down three house. Good luck with that.

Beyond her friends being NM's...in many chapters, the final bid list is only seen by a very small number of people. I don't want to get into MS, obviously, but as an example, the active members are unlikely to all see every PNM's GPA or see how that factors into bid list preparation. So many of the women in the chapter could have thought the OP was really a sure thing, but none of them really know where she was. The bottom line is that she wasn't high enough on 1 or 2's list to get a bid.

[Sciencewoman]

Maybe someone behind the scenes "accidentally" erased her from the Bid List. Of course, that never really happens, but maybe she should have her friends ask what went on during MS, just to be sure.

I try not to be mean, but sometimes....

[pinksequins]

Under the OP''s version, she would have had to have been erased from two chapters. Not likely at all.

[LAblondeGPhi]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

#1 and #2 might have really liked you. They just liked a lot of other girls MORE. And all those girls liked them MORE than their other options too. That's why you didn't get a bid. And very few members REALLY know what was discussed and why you were so low on their lists. If you were dead set against #3, you shouldn't have put them on your pref card at all.

YES!!

OP - the first thing you need to know about the recruitment process is that it is complicated and that 99% of ACTIVE members do not understand the inner workings of the RFM process.

Plus, with highly selective chapters, they will probably have whole pref parties full of women whom they ADORE. I don't doubt that actives in your dream chapter really did love you and lobby for you and assumed that you chose to go elsewhere when they didn't see you in their pledge class.

While the membership selection process is private and secret to each individual chapter, I feel confident in saying (from years of seeing the same things being said by actives of all chapters) that most active members never know the detailed order of bid lists of their own chapters - they simply DO NOT KNOW where you were on the bid lists. They only know that they really loved you and wanted you.

Last thing, which I've said in other forums before. The difference between carried to the next round and released, or pledged and not pledged, can be razor thin between PNMs. There is an arbitrary cut-off that is assigned by Panhellenic (not by the chapter), and that often means that there is no statistical difference between how much a chapter liked the last woman invited and the first woman released.

I'm sorry you're so upset by the whole process, but you need to put your big girl underwear on now and learn to deal with disappointment in a mature way. This is life, girl.

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Maybe someone behind the scenes "accidentally" erased her from the Bid List. Of course, that never really happens, but maybe she should have her friends ask what went on during MS, just to be sure.

I try not to be mean, but sometimes....

If that were the case, it's highly unlikely that the average active would have any idea about it.

**IF*** anything happened, it most likely would have been a computer input error, and only an advisor or Panhellenic would be able to go back and double-check.

That being said, I'd bet money that this wasn't the case.

[Blue Skies]

As others have already explained, there was no mistake. You were at pref for your favorite two chapters (that alone means they did like you and could see you as a potential sister,) so you WERE on their respective bid lists. The question is what ranked number you were on each list. If you were number one, five, ten, etc. you would have matched and gotten a bid. Unfortunately you were on the lower end for each chapter and other girls matched ahead of you. If your favorite chapters each have 40 new members, then each one of those girls matched ahead of you.

Will you have success if you rerush? No one here can tell you that. You can certainly try. In your favor, you now have more friends in each chapter. To your detriment, you will be another year older and will now have a track record of not accepting a bid from a chapter that was on your pref card. Improving your grades, clubs, activities, and volunteer work might help you out.

In the future, do NOT put a chapter on your pref card if you have no intention of joining it.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by Blue Skies

In the future, do NOT put a chapter on your pref card if you have no intention of joining it.

This. By putting the third chapter on her list, OP took a bid from another PNM who probably actually wanted that third chapter. And that is also another reason why it looks bad that you declined the bid.