Should you join a "lower tier" sorority?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

At others, it really is tough to make that decision because a large % of the student body is Greek and that one bid is likely the only one they will get (there is no "I'll try again next year.")

Ah, but many PNMs don't realize this.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Originally Posted by Jen

Are there really a lot of people who have to choose from the number one house AND a lower house? I always found that the sororities that cross rushed each other were usually on equal footing regarding whatever was considered important on the campus (whether it be size of a group, social status, physical looks of members, etc).

At my school this has been happening more an more frequently since 2007. It's kinda interesting too.

[ddd907]

I've discussed this with friends from home who go to other schools (some are greek, some are not) and most of the time they always say that the houses that are thought to be "lower" always seem to have the best sisterhood.
I think that a lot of times the "higher" ranked houses let that status get to their heads, as a result, everything (sisterhood, friendships, conversations, and interactions with the rest of the greek community, etc.) tend to be pretty fake and often those houses have major problems with b*tchiness.
It's pretty interesting to look at from an outsiders position, as well as assessing it on your own campus.

**I just wanted to say (especially for PNMs) that this doesn't mean that's how it always works, it's just what I've observed at a few schools

[littleowl33]

This has been said, but it's worth reiterating - if join XYZ when you really wanted ABC, and if you are going to spend the next four years comparing the two, dissing ABC and acting miserable at XYZ, then don't waste your time (or XYZ's time). If you feel like you can suck it up, learn to love XYZ and work to make your experience great, then go for it. I'm a very big believer in your experience being what you make it.

When I was a freshman, my chapter was really struggling. The other three groups were hovering around 100, while Kappa was hovering around 40. During recruitment, it seemed like everybody got invited back to Kappa, and everybody was talking about how ugly/fat/awkward all the sisters were. They were really sweet and genuine, though, and that's why I joined despite the fact that they were not my original first choice. On Bid Day, my pledge class was less than 1/4 the size of the other groups'. But I think the recruitment chair did a fantastic job, because almost every girl in my pledge class went on hold an officer position every year. Right now, our President, two of our VPs, and a bunch of other important officers are from that class. There weren't many of us, but I think we really turned the chapter around. A lot of times, that's all it takes.

In recent years, we've pledged several girls who were originally pledges of what most would consider the top two hottest/most popular/most desired groups on campus. The first time around, they were ecstatic because on Bid Day, they had managed to receive a highly coveted bid from the groups that were every PNM's dream. But they were quickly discovered how unhappy they were - they didn't fit in, and they found that the sisters were very different than they had seemed during recruitment. They dropped out, waited a year, and re-rushed. They've been very happy with us.

And to be fair, we've had girls who weren't happy with us. One girl in my pledge class freely admitted to me (on Bid Day!) that she was only pledging because Kappa was (in her eyes) the strongest nationally of the four on campus, and since she was going into the corporate world, she needed the connections after graduation. She didn't make any effort to connect with her pledge class, attend chapter events or get involved at all. She got one of her friends to COB and pledge with her so she wouldn't have to suffer through it alone (ironically, those two girls no longer speak - and the friend she dragged to COB is now a chapter VP and Panhellenic President!). Anyway, she lasted less than a year before realizing that you just can't coast through membership without doing anything, and is no longer a member.

We've had a few other girls join us because they just wanted to be Greek - they didn't get their top choice and they just wanted some letters. Some changed and grew to love it (after a few weeks of sulking), and one or two never did. They stuck with it, but didn't contribute much or get much out of it. Those are the cases that are really unfortunate.

I guess my main point is, again, your experience is what you make it.

[33girl]

^^^Fantastic post!!!

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by Jen

Babypink, I'm thinking the RFM has a lot to do with cross rushing starting to show some diversity. I've noticed it the last few years too. We almost always cross rushed with two particular sororities, over the last few years it's become much more mixed.

I agree that RFM seems to be affecting the pref night results regarding high/low diversity.With those heavy first round cuts, a pnm can end up with a range of choices with regard to tier/size. Maybe this lends itself to more "If I don't get my first choice, I will drop" hysteria?

[DubaiSis]

You'd be surprised. I was in a smaller house (I refuse to call us lower tier because we were awesome.. just small) on campus and the girls we preffed were oftentimes also preffing the "top" houses on campus. Now unfortunately some girls did that on purpose because we had a great location and they did it to make their pref night easier, but there were others who had us and 2 other "top" houses and they were considering all 3.

[KSUViolet06]

Serious question: Is there anyone else who had never even heard the phrase "top tier" used in relation to sororities until they came to GC?

I suspect that sorority women at various schools don't just sit around and discuss how "top tier" they are (or aren't).

I have friends who are sorority alumnae from a variety of schools (from southern places like Ole Miss to western schools like USC) and this just isn't something we just sat around and talk about.

I mean, if one's chapter was considered the best on campus, it wasn't like they went around discussing it.

[Shellfish]

They probably have been described as most popular, even if the word tier wasn't used.

This doesn't crop up for guys, though, does it? When I think of my own alma mater, the composition of fraternities seemed to be based more on common denominators such as being on the same teams or just being a bunch of similar guys who liked hanging out with each other, not what other people thought of them.

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Serious question: Is there anyone else who had never even heard the phrase "top tier" used in relation to sororities until they came to GC?

I suspect that sorority women at various schools don't just sit around and discuss how "top tier" they are (or aren't).

I have friends who are sorority alumnae from a variety of schools (from southern places like Ole Miss to western schools like USC) and this just isn't something we just sit around and talk about.

I wouldn't say we sit around and talk about it, but I think sisters do have a definite feel for how popular each group is, or what kind of girls each group attracts. We only have three groups now, so there's not much to debate... and I guess one group by itself can't be a "tier".

[littleowl33]

Originally Posted by Shellfish

They probably have been described as most popular, even if the word tier wasn't used.

This doesn't crop up for guys, though, does it? When I think of my own alma mater, the composition of fraternities seemed to be based more on common denominators such as being on the same teams or just being a bunch of similar guys who liked hanging out with each other, not what other people thought of them.

Maybe it's just my campus, but the fraternities here bash each other waaaay more than the sororities do. They're really competitive about creating "tiers" and hating on certain groups. There are basically a few "top tier" groups that throw the biggest parties, a bunch of "middle tier" groups that are pretty diverse and tend to attract guys based on who actually gets along best, and a few "bottom tier" groups that tend to be new, small and/or not have a specific sports team associated with them. We have a fraternity colonizing right now and the other fraternity guys are just vicious in degrading them... it's very catty and low, in my opinion. I think they're just worried they'll steal pledges from them and they think bashing them is the best way to maintain their position.

[ellebud]

The question as to whether anyone will rank a "less" desirable (whatever that ultimately means) above a top tier house: My daughter did all the way through. She had solid reasons for choosing what she did. At her university all the chapters are good, no kidding. Two are smaller. But my daughter felt that one "top" house had a vibe that she wasn't going to join. I am being VERY vague on purpose.

Yes, she was "lucky" that she wasn't cut from her choices and she ultimately made the decision. But if she had received her number 2 house she still would have been thrilled...and walked by the houses that she felt didn't match who she is as a person.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by littleowl33

I wouldn't say we sit around and talk about it, but I think sisters do have a definite feel for how popular each group is, or what kind of girls each group attracts. We only have three groups now, so there's not much to debate... and I guess one group by itself can't be a "tier".

I'd say this. There's one group on my campus nicknamed "Visa Discover Mastercard" even by non-greeks because they are thought to take only rich women.

Not true, 'cause I was invited for pref there and I am very, very far from rich, but it's still the reputation they have.

I don't think anyone ever talks about tiers, but people think in terms of them.

Talking about it just isn't classy and most sorority women are classy. at least that's what I like to think!
---

In response to the "Should you join", I think if you feel at home who cares what "tier" it is. Yes, you may not be looked at as the most popular group on campus. But, you'll have real friends, not just girls who wear the same letters as you.

IMHO, size doesn't matter. Some girls LIKE smaller groups. My chapter is about 30 women and I adore it. I know everyone really well. I earned a leadership position right away. My candidate class helped transformed our chapter through our dedication and creativity. I love my chapter and my sisters, even if we have 90 fewer girls than every other house on campus.

Finally, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. One year, we had a girl who went through spring recruitment who turned down a bid. She went through Formal in the fall and got a bid to a well-established house on campus, who was part of our Homecoming group for that year. We talked a lot during float making (she was a really nice girl so there were no hard feelings!) and she mentioned once how she had no idea who was in her new member class let alone in her chapter! She'd see a girl on the street with XYZ letters and not recognize her. "I wish I would have accepted that bid," she mentioned, "so I could know everyone".

She is now very, very happy in XYZ and on their Exec Board, so it has a happy ending. You just always think life is better in the bigger, more popular chapters- and that isn't always the case. It is what is best, personally, for you. For me, a small chapter is perfect!

[Shellfish]

Whenever I read the posts from PNMs who say they're disappointed by their list of invites or their bid, I wish they would take some advice from Mike Damone of Fast Times at Ridgemont High: "Act like whevever you are, that's the place to be." But by act I don't mean pretend but behave: feel confident that where you are (anywhere in life) is probably pretty darn good. If you like butterscotch ripple when most people around you like chocolate, well, feel like butterscotch ripple IS actually the cool ice cream.

[Elephant Walk]

I'll go ahead and say this (not knowing what people have said):

It depends on your motives for joining a sorority. Is your motive primarily to have sisterhood or to be a part of the social elite and throw rad parties? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the social elite who throw rad parties don't have sisterhood. But if your primary goal is to have sisterhood I would say that joining a "lower tier" sorority is okay.