Sisterly advice needed

[Greek_or_Geek?]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Do you mean, she either has to be active or terminated?

I think it all depends on how much the chapter wants to pursue it, quite frankly. A chapter low on numbers who has no feeling one way or another about the girl is a TOTALLY different kettle of fish than one who has to turn away sisters they want because of an inactive still taking up space on the roll but not participating...or an inactive who plays havoc with the sorority's reputation.

Oh I get that chapters would handle things differently depending on their situation and the sister, but I would think that at the point where the inactive sister is getting ready to graduate, what happens? I mean if someone is initiated their freshman year, leaves for a year sophomore year then comes back to campus but never reactivates, does she get to be an lifetime alumna when she graduates if no one does anything about it? I know, this is more rhetorical but it really got me to thinking since this poster seemed to believe she had many options.

Also (and I am guessing this would vary depending on groups) wouldn't the nationals eventually wonder why the inactive was still taking up a spot in total but not paying any dues?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek?

Also (and I am guessing this would vary depending on groups) wouldn't the nationals eventually wonder why the inactive was still taking up a spot in total but not paying any dues?

DING DING DING!

Yes. It's not just paying dues, though...it's meeting all of your requirements as a sister, only on of which is financial. I would be surprised if any national group would be okay with this.

[twinstarsweetie]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Re: bolded sections

I questioned the "seniors comment" also. And, FWIW, OP, we haven't used the term "standards" in a Very Long Time. (I'm not directing that at IL or at TL, I'm questioning why a relatively new member would use that term). So... is anyone else connecting any dots here?.

Regarding the bolded text, this girl was just initiated last spring as a junior. My chapter has a history of initiating juniors, so it's not that weird. She has many friends in her class (now seniors) which makes her going theta make more sense. My read of the situation is that these girls are simply playing "follow the leader" and thus the problem will leave when she does. Also I don't know why I call it standards, that's the term my theta mom used when I was a new member so it kinda stuck.

That aside I'm not going to engage them unless I have to. My nature is very non-confrontational but at some point I do need to stand up for myself, I too often let myself be bullied. I don't really have anyone in the chapter right now, my theta mom graduated, my big graduated and went inactive her last semester here besides. I didn't take a little before I left so I don't have any family, and the girls I was closest to graduated last year. That's part of the reason I reached out to this community, I was feeling very stressed and unsure and wanted to get a couple opinions from other thetas out there.

My boyfriend and I were living and working together during the time away from school, we were both overwhelmed and we had both really lost our ideas of ourselves in our time at college. We needed a breather and a reminder of how important our education is, like I mentioned we were dealing with most finical and social issues as a couple. I know that this can be hard to understand for the girls who have been in school without interruption, I NEVER wanted to come back and force myself on an unwilling chapter. I know that they're not going to see my point of view and I'm not fully going to see theirs. I just don't want one sister's prejudice to mold the chapter's idea of me before I even get a chance to know them.

Besides that, I don't think she has a reason to be upset at me. I have never spoken to the girl in my life, the only thing I have done is be with the guy she apparently wants to be with.

Oh, also I have talked to various chapter officials and due to my rather complicated status I am an alumni who has the option of becoming an active sister. Don't ask me because I don't fully understand myself and I am VERY HAPPY with this so I'm not going to ask any questions, lol.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by twinstarsweetie

Regarding the bolded text, this girl was just initiated last spring as a junior. My chapter has a history of initiating juniors, so it's not that weird. She has many friends in her class (now seniors) which makes her going theta make more sense. My read of the situation is that these girls are simply playing "follow the leader" and thus the problem will leave when she does. Also I don't know why I call it standards, that's the term my theta mom used when I was a new member so it kinda stuck.

That aside I'm not going to engage them unless I have to. My nature is very non-confrontational but at some point I do need to stand up for myself, I too often let myself be bullied. I don't really have anyone in the chapter right now, my theta mom graduated, my big graduated and went inactive her last semester here besides. I didn't take a little before I left so I don't have any family, and the girls I was closest to graduated last year. That's part of the reason I reached out to this community, I was feeling very stressed and unsure and wanted to get a couple opinions from other thetas out there.

My boyfriend and I were living and working together during the time away from school, we were both overwhelmed and we had both really lost our ideas of ourselves in our time at college. We needed a breather and a reminder of how important our education is, like I mentioned we were dealing with most finical and social issues as a couple. I know that this can be hard to understand for the girls who have been in school without interruption, I NEVER wanted to come back and force myself on an unwilling chapter. I know that they're not going to see my point of view and I'm not fully going to see theirs. I just don't want one sister's prejudice to mold the chapter's idea of me before I even get a chance to know them.

Besides that, I don't think she has a reason to be upset at me. I have never spoken to the girl in my life, the only thing I have done is be with the guy she apparently wants to be with.

Oh, also I have talked to various chapter officials and due to my rather complicated status I am an alumni who has the option of becoming an active sister. Don't ask me because I don't fully understand myself and I am VERY HAPPY with this so I'm not going to ask any questions, lol.

Just curious as to where the rest of your pledge class is in all of this.