They're having a blast ! - Page 2

carnation · #16 08-24-2001, 03:24 PM

Justamom, it was harder for me to watch my daughter rush than for me to go through. My feeling when a group would cut her was, "How dare you? She's beautiful, has a 4.0, all these top-grade activities--what's WRONG with you?" (Actually, my child was pretty cool about it herself.) And my own mother was afraid for me to rush because she'd grown up on the U. of Arkansas campus and seen girls leaving school for good in tears during rush. Then I even got upset when fabulous girls from our hometown were cut left and right during rush at UGa and Tech. The girls said the sororities made it so obvious that they already knew who they wanted during rush and all but ignored them during parties.

I don't know what the answer is. It isn't letting everybody into any group they want because the locals at the college where I teach do that and it has always been disastrous (can't wait until they nationalize). You get lots of really wild girls in your group and your rep is destroyed. Furthermore, it kills the smaller groups. So does having really huge quotas, which may be why the huge-quota schools are unable to get any more sororities to succeed on campus. Everyone wants the biggies who are already established.

I just don't know what the answer is.

newbie · #17 08-24-2001, 08:06 PM

Please tell your girls that we wish them the best of luck!!! I hope they end up where they are happy!!

aephi alum · #18 08-25-2001, 10:51 AM

Good luck to your daughter and everyone else! I can't imagine a rush this cut-throat - it simply wasn't like this at my school (in the Northeast) - sororities cut hard for prefs, but until then virtually everyone was invited back. (But we only had 5 sororities and 2 rounds of invites...)

justamom · #19 08-25-2001, 05:33 PM

I have never been so angry in my life. My daughter just fell victim to dirty rush. I warned her, but she was so moved...I could just spit nails. Last night at one of her Pref parties, this young lady WHO WAS A FRIEND, said to her, "I better see you on our front lawn tomorrow." She told her,"Don't worry, we want you." She of course bought into it. She went to bed thinking she had made all the right choices, followed all the rules and was going to wake up tomorrw a part of______sorority. Yes she got her second choice, and yes, she does like them, but right now she is ready to drop. She called me ON THE BUS -said she felt like she was kicked in the gut. She is going to give it 24 hours to make her decision. THIS is why Greeks have problems!

Oh, I promised I would name the school. Haven't you guessed?
LSU

amycat412 · #20 08-25-2001, 05:40 PM

justamom,

sounds to me like your daughter ended up in the best sorority for her, even if it was her second choice. why be a part of a group who would make a veiled promise to her on pref night only to make sure they were requested as the #1 choice on more pref cards??

i would suggest/advise that your daughter give it some time. she likes the group she was bid by enough to have preffed them--and you mentioned in an earlier post that there were TWO houses of the four she preffed that she was really interested in--- please don't let her momentary disillusionment get in the way of what could be a wonderful sisterhood for her.

i had a feeling all along you were talking about LSU, and I would love to know which houses they are--but understand it may not be in the best interests of this board to name the one that dirty rushed her. Which one did she pledge?

Amy

justamom · #21 08-25-2001, 05:54 PM

Actually, she has called me twice. The first time was when they announced their house. In the background I could hear all the excited voices, "Who did so and so get? Oh she got her first choice...so and so got blah blah blah" and then, there was her usual confident voice sounding so tiny, so broken. I have kept all her e-mails and some of the things that happened were just plain wrong! I NEVER tried to influence her because I didn't want to color her opinions. Even when I was told things about this group, I never said anything because she liked them. Now I feel like I failed her in my capacity as someone she trusts. I know she is the type that will give it a good, hard look, but right now she is so upset with the whole system, it may not do any good. I do believe she will stick it out for the lock in. She is very astute, I don't know how she missed this one.

PenguinTrax · #22 08-25-2001, 05:59 PM

Justamom,

You and/or your daughter MUST inform Panhellenic about this recruitment infraction. This is a violation of the NPC unanimous agreements and the only way to put a stop to this kind of behavior is to report the offending chapter to the proper authorities.

I hope your daughter does give her new sorority a chance and she doesn't let this experience make her bitter and anti-Greek.

Please e-mail me if you'd like more information. We'd also like to know where your daughter is pledging!

LeslieEMU · #23 08-25-2001, 06:09 PM

Justamom, please tell your daughter to wait at least a week and give her new sorority a chance! If she decides to stay in, can you let us know which sorority she is pledging? Also, as Barbara mentioned, let your daughter know that she really should let Panhel know so this doesn't happen to more girls!

aopirose · #24 08-25-2001, 06:18 PM

justamom,

I just knew that you were talking about LSU. All the signs were there plain as day. I bet that I can even tell you which group it was too. I am very sorry that your daughter is so hurt, but like Amy said, maybe it will turn out that her second choice should have been her first choice. I can also appreciate your hurt and disappointment. You do all you can to try to protect your children but sometimes things are out of our reach. However, there is something that you can do about this. Please encourage your daughter to report this. That is the only way it will stop. If you would like to rant privately, please contact me anytime.

justamom · #25 08-25-2001, 06:21 PM

I think she will know which way she is leaning after a lock in. If you can't get to know girls at a slumber party, when can you?
I gotta go, I really need to change the name of this thread.
How about THEY WERE HAVING A BLAST!

cutetiger · #26 08-25-2001, 06:59 PM

Justamom, I can imagine how your daughter feels. I too am a student at LSU (one of the most cut-throat rushes in the south). I must say however, from what you have told us, no matter which sorority that she chooses on campus she will be a wonderful asset to not only them, but the greek community as a whole. Just tell her that we are praying for her and that they "dirty rushers" will get what they deserve in the end.

I would however report this incident to the Greek Affairs office. As you well know LSU has tried to continue to fix the problems within the greek organizations on campus. They can't fix what they don't know about. Talk it over with your daughter and see what she has to say to it.

B.

justamom · #27 08-25-2001, 07:39 PM

Up down, up down...now she is UP! I tell you, this daughter of mine blows me away sometimes. (Proud moment) She came to the same conclusion...How great can you be if you have to lie...Oh a "rose" by any other name...

She had the opportunity to get a look at her pledge class AND as you know, she already liked them. SHE IS HAPPY! REALLY HAPPY!

One girl that she has known since grade school went to THAT HOUSE and she is dying laughing. There are other aquaintances as well, but there's always one that stands out as "special". Hate to say it, but sometimes revenge can be sweet.

She knows some of the pledges from her gatherings and is so pumped up she can't wait. She also told me that one very high profile house did not make quota...

AS THE WORLD TURNS!

Aphigal · #28 08-25-2001, 07:44 PM

Ok so now we are dying to where she pledged?

Who made quota and who didn't?

dzsaigirl · #29 08-25-2001, 07:50 PM

I am sorry that the rush experience for her had to be tainted. I certainly hope it wasn't my sorority (which has a chapter at LSU), that dirty rushed her, but it doesn't matter which sorority dirty rushed her...it's just WRONG! This is supposed to be fun and you should want to go with a group you can trust!

Anyway, I am so happy to hear that she now has a sorority home!!!!!!!! Where did she end up?

justamom · #30 08-25-2001, 08:14 PM

Notes from the bus---I would LOVE to say where she ended up as one of MY best college friends was in that soro. I just think it unwise to indicate any soro would be second to a house that stooped to such a low level. In honesty, if my daughter HAD listened to her cousins and various people in the first place she never would have fallen for that tripe. I wanted her to go where she is now or the other soro which is composed of wonderful girls.

If I had a real source on the quota issue,more than girls on a bus, I would state it. It doesn't surprise me though. An INDIVIDUAL of said sorority said some things early in the summer that hurt the feelings of potential members in our community. I hope this story isn't considered to be bashing. I am known for my propencity to speak the truth more than my tactfulness. In fact, I was thinking of starting a thread called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. There was much good that came to all who started this journey. they may not realize it yet.