Bad news from No. Colo.

[TKEfromthe90's]

If they pull a charter and don't owe an explanation then what's the point of an International HQ?

No letter was sent, unless all the other alumni have been lying to me all these years...

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by TKEfromthe90's

If they pull a charter and don't owe an explanation then what's the point of an International HQ?

It seems to me that there are a couple of issues here. First, assuming an explanation is "owed," to whom is it owed? The actives of the chapter? Actively involved alumni of the chapter? All alumni of the chapter? The fraternity at large? Or does it vary with the circumstances?

And second, what form does the explanation take? Does it have to be a letter to chapter alumni? Does an announcement on the fraternity website or the fraternity magazine, with an assumption that involved members will see that, suffice?

And third, you keep talking about what your HQ owes you. What about what you owe your fraternity and your chapter? In your own words, "us alumni, myself included, are all talk and no action." Some might say that doesn't put you in the best position to complain.

In any event, if this has been bothering you for 10 years, I'd say it's time to move on. You say you've responded to requests for donations, but ask why you should now. It sounds like you've known for years the chapter was closed. Have you contributed in the last 10 years since the chapter was closed? If you have, then what has changed now? If you haven't, then you really can't complain for not being kept in the loop. Regardless, either do something constructive about the situation or let it go.

[33girl]

We're talking a 50 year old chapter....to expect every member to be involved with the chapter is unrealistic. When you're not talking about schools with houses that necessitate house corps, often the way alums look at things is "no news is good news."

It's up to you to keep your address current with hq (thus enabling thrm to send the donation requests)....but if you do that, yes, you are owed the courtesy of a form letter if the chapter that brought you into the organization is closed. To say that the only alums who "deserve" to find out are those in close contact with the chapter is along the same lines as the weighted legacy debate (i.e. a rushee whose mom is an active volunteer is on a higher tier than a rushee with a mom who for whatever reason didn't get as heavily involved).

[AZTheta]

Point of information and clarification: 33, I did not say that I expect every member to be involved with a chapter, nor did I say anything about the only ones who "deserve" an explanation are those in close contact. Those were not my words. Not at all. In this particular case, there was publicity, and I don't think he just found out about it last week.

Or if he did - well, there we go again.

I'm with MysticCat. Let it go. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Point of information and clarification: 33, I did not say that I expect every member to be involved with a chapter, nor did I say anything about the only ones who "deserve" an explanation are those in close contact. Those were not my words. Not at all.

Not really what I was saying either. My point has to do with perspective. Sure, a letter is a good idea, though I think there may be other appropriate ways to notify alumni as well. I'm just saying 10 years is a long time to stew about this for someone who hasn't been actively involved, and that speaks to me about a skewed perspective about what the fraternity owes the alum compared to what the alum owes the fraternity.

[AZTheta]

Got it. Thanks for catching that, MysticCat. I should have reference the "let it go" comment to apply to the specifics of tkefromthe90s.

What's the expression about "depends on whose ox is being gored?" That comes to mind.

Anyway, I am now going to take my own advice and let it go.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Got it. Thanks for catching that, MysticCat.

Oops. Maybe I wasn't clear—too early in the morning. I agree with what you said, and was piggy-backing to add my additional thought to it.

[AZTheta]

Oh, hell - let's all hold hands and sing kumbaya and eat somemores.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Oh, hell - let's all hold hands and sing kumbaya and eat somemores.

Mmmmmmmm....s'mores.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

Oh, hell - let's all hold hands and sing kumbaya and eat somemores.

I hate s'mores.

How about we pass around a bottle of bourbon instead?

[33girl]

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

I doubt he has been "stewing" about this for 10 years. More likely he was just doing a random internet search as we all do, found this page, thought about the circumstances again and it pissed him off again. That's normal. It happens a lot when old memories get stirred up, particularly on Facebook. I hope he gets righteously pissed enough to get his fellow alumni together and get support for restarting the chapter, since according to people who were actually there the many were punished for the actions of a few. Not speaking ill of the dead, but the other comments were coming from a very prejudiced place.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

I doubt he has been "stewing" about this for 10 years. More likely he was just doing a random internet search as we all do, found this page, thought about the circumstances again and it pissed him off again. That's normal. It happens a lot when old memories get stirred up, particularly on Facebook.

Which is pretty much what "stewing" means—not staying angry but not letting it go either, so that it's under the surface and random things can make it bubble up. And he did say

Originally Posted by TKEfromthe90's

I'm still bothered by this over 10 years later.

In any event, I'm getting a slightly different message from his posts than you are. Regardless, after 10 years, let go of complaining that you didn't get a letter and focus on what you can do going forward.