Rush - What to NOT do or say

[breathesgelatin]

Originally posted by twinstars


IF YOU HAVE DEFERRED RUSH (AFTER CHRISTMAS BREAK)....
Don't forget that the upperclass Greek women are watching you during fall term, whether you have open contact (are allowed to talk/hang out) or not. They are observing you in class, at parties, in extracurricular clubs, etc. Some rushees are completely unaware that what you do during the term before rush week really does count, either for you or against you. By the time actual rush begins, many Greek girls will already have formed an opinion of you by observing you in other situations. You need to be on your best behavior most of the time in public. Don't talk loudly about sororities in public places... you never know if a sorority girl is standing near you, or if one's boyfriend is. This is especially true at small colleges where the gossip mill is out of control.

NO JOKE!!! Are you a W&L Theta??? Because this is our school all over...

[James]

Wow lol.

So the idea (on both sides) is not to go beyond small talk and don't ing anything up that really gets to know the person better!

[tcsparky]

Originally posted by James
Wow lol.

So the idea (on both sides) is not to go beyond small talk and don't ing anything up that really gets to know the person better!

That's SO cynical.

However it sounds, there is more to it than that.

[James]

Weeeelllllll . . .

You are saying, and please correct me if I am wrong lol, that in the extremely limited amount of time you have with the person you should avoid any level of conversation that goes deeper than excited small talk . . .

Nothing wrong with that at all mind you, but why not call a spade a spade?

Originally posted by tcsparky
That's SO cynical.

However it sounds, there is more to it than that.

[XOMichelle]

I never agree with James, but here is one instance where he does have some insight.

Althoug I understand staying away from topics that can get people all riled up like abortion, affirmative action, race, and religion (unless you are going to say, well, I like to discuss big isses, and my sisters have been a big source of intelectual thought for me...), the best rush conversations I have has have always been on the "out of bounds topics". Why? becuase everyone has stories about boys and beer (even if you don't drink), or about crazy roommates, or about intelectual discussions you have had in other places.

I know we want everyone to feel welcome, and it is silly to expect to be able to discuss deep things with someone you hardly know, but I always feel really restrictd by all the things I can't say.
-M

[sugar and spice]

Well, yes and no.

There are thousands of things you can talk about during rush that have nothing to do with the off-limits topics. When I rushed, I talked at length with some girls about why our parents didn't want us to join sororities, drivers' ed, our experiences running track in high school, the restaurants in Madison we loved . . . things that were in no way related to the things you're not supposed to talk about. And now that I'm the rushing side, I've realized that I can tell a whole lot more about a girl from her attitude and the way she answers questions than what we actually talk about.

But the rush conversation is limiting, I agree. There were times when I wanted to kick in some harmless anecdote about some fraternity or drinking but I stopped myself just in time. I wish we could talk about those things just so it would give the rushees a better idea of what the houses are about -- if your house is a social house, you want the rushees to know that! And personally I don't think I'd ever want to cut a girl for talking about drinking unless she started saying stuff like, "Oh my god, I was sooo wasted last night, I passed out in the basement of some fraternity house."

Now obviously, rushees can talk about whatever they want to talk about during rush, it's just that avoiding certain topics will maximize the amount of houses that want them back.

And I still maintain that talking about money during rush -- asking her what her parents do for a living, etc. -- is tacky.

[MoxieGrrl]

I imagine when recruitment is the first time you are meeting someone, staying away from the "Bs" is a good idea. However, on a small campus with deferred recruitment....well, you almost have to get a bit more personal during the process. On my campus, we have had classes with these girls, partied with them, been in the same clubs as them, etc... if we were to suddenly completely switch gears, it would almost seem shallow on our part.

[CarolinaDG]

When I rushed, I knew to stay away from the B's, but I also knew that this one particular sorority mixed a lot with my ex-boyfriend's fraternity, so I hoped that this would help me out a little bit, so I mentioned it. She, in turn, said, "Was the break up hard?" Why, yes, it was, I thought we were going to get married, as a matter of fact, and am still not over him.... If you're going to talk about the boys, then please please please make sure to avoid touchy subjects at least.

[James]

XOMichelle. Thank you for the validation! lol.

I have written upwards of 2400 posts on Greekchat, many of them serious, about topics such as leadership and management.

ITs nice to know that your knowledge base is so much greater than mine in those areas that you not only "never" agree with me, but that you are always right lol.

Interestingly I have agreed with you on many of your posts and I do believe that some of our posts were nearly identical in their points of view. How odd eh?

Originally posted by XOMichelle
I never agree with James, but here is one instance where he does have some insight.


-M

[maggieaxid]

i wish gc was around when i was going through rush!
my biggest thing about rush conversation is when a PNM talks all about another glo or her boyfriend's glo. I find it such a turn off. Granted, if you don't feel like you will fit into the house, we understand....but, at least have some manners and be friendly. you never know who the sister's are friends with.
a little story....
a pnm came to my house during first round, with over 400 girls rushing. she was really stand-off ish and when she would speak it was like she was making the biggest effort in her entire life to talk to me. so the party ended and later that night i ran into some of my friends in XYZ sorority who i had known for two years and lived with. they mentioned how great this girl was at their party. i told them about my experience with her. the next round she was invited back to my house, but this time when she did speak all she talked about was how wonderful XYZ was and how she couldn't believe she was wasting her time at all the other houses. this got me peeved. the next day, i saw my friends in XYZ and told them about this girl and how rude she was, but i didn't mention anything about her bringing up XYZ. they ended up cutting her. whether it was something i said, i will never know....but, i can only say that sometimes friends in other sororities take your opinion very strongly.

[AOII*Azra-elle]

Speaking of PNM's talking about other GLO's..we had some girl come through our house last fall and one of our ladies was talking to her and asked if she had any questions for her and the girl told her that she didn't even want to be there. That she didn't like sorority girls and doesn't know what she rushed b/c we didn't have the chapter she wanted to be in on our campus.

My sister just steered away from it, but those of us around her were in total shock!!!!

We are supposed to steer away from the 5 D's: Dudes, Daddies, Drinking, Doin' it, and Drugs. Haven't had anyone bring up political issues yet, but then again we've only done formal recruitment 3 times. Never know what could happen.

[MSKKG]

Remember that you are a guest in the sorority's home and act accordingly. On the flip side, the sorority members must remember that they are hostesses and act accordingly.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by MSKKG
Remember that you are a guest in the sorority's home and act accordingly. On the flip side, the sorority members must remember that they are hostesses and act accordingly.

Wonderful and sound advice to all concerned, MSKKG!

I once had a pnm say to me (all identities changed), "My name is Amy, I'm a freshman, I'm a pre-med major, I'm from Canada, and I'm not a legacy. What else do you want to talk about?" With a little panache, she might have pulled it off, but her attitude while saying it left a lot to be desired.

honeychile

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
Instead of asking for tips for recruitment and hearing, "keep an open mind" and "be yourself":

Everyone should read:My Advice to Sorority Rushees by southern_theta

[LeslieAGD]

If you have a friend in a particular chapter, DON'T assume you're automatically going to be in. Make an effort to meet people and make a connection.

DON'T dress provacatively and/or cake on your make up. People will make assuptions that you're trashy/superficial.

DON'T be that annoying person with a cell phone at a rush party!!!