online dating

[chideltjen]

More online dating fun!

So after reading this thread I decided to check out eharmony cuz i was bored/sick on a friday night.

That personality profile took FOREVER. and some of the things listed i am not quite sure i would want someone to be reading about right away. that takes the whole fun out of meeting someone in person without knowing anything. you won't have much to talk about if the person already knows all your personality quirks and hobbies.
Oh well.

So anyway, I can't get very far without paying, and it's kind of expensive too. And initially i don't get any matches. fine whatever.
The next day my spam folder is full of "you have a match" emails. So there are four guys there.
One was a guy passionate about hunting and worked in retail.
One was on a debate team, enjoyed politics (I hate politics) and was passionate about chess (woo hoo...)
One was 29 with a 2 year old daughter (alright, where's the momma)
And the other was a ballet dancer. Seriously.

I closed my membership.
The sad thing is that my boss who is 27 wants to try online dating cuz he doesn't have the time to actually meet girls in person. Yeah I told him these stories... probably shouldn't have.

[aphigirly]

i met my boyfriend online. we met on a messageboard that was populated by people who went to ncsu (i currently go there, he graduated from ncsu and now goes to grad school in atlanta).

we just started talking one day because i had imed him to see what middle school he went to and if he knew some of the people that i knew.

anyway, we then started talking on instant messanger more often. we actually realized that we knew a lot of the same people. he was good friends with my best friends older brother when they were in highschool, and was also friends with my roommates at the time.

then after a year of talking to each other on instant messanger we started talking on the phone all night to each other. then last year during thanksgiving he came up and stayed with me for a couple of days and that was the first time we had met face to face. we then saw each other during christmas, and for the last year have alternated traveling to see each other. now i am planning on moving down to atlanta over the summer to go to georgia tech for grad school

one thing, i have troubles admitting to people that we met online. he has no problems telling people how we met...but i usually tell people that we met once or twice a long time ago and then remet online (this is what i told my mom). i dont know why.....i think i am afraid of people instantly labeling me as a loser.

i do have to say....we only would have gotten this far because we knew a lot of the same people. i probably would have never met him if he was not such good friends with my best friends older brother. but because they were, i felt a lot safer talking to him and meeting him

[gphiangel624]

Ok, so what about if you met someone in person, but they live so far away that you won't ever see them or really talk to them unless it's online? Is this nuts and what would guys say is the possibility of it working for people who can deal well with long distance relationships?

[aphigirly]

i started to write a response.....but it was really long, so i pmed you instead

[James]

Knowing you gorgeous, its just another desperate way to make yourself unhappy

I have little doubt there are good partners close to home . . . .

Originally posted by gphiangel624
Ok, so what about if you met someone in person, but they live so far away that you won't ever see them or really talk to them unless it's online? Is this nuts and what would guys say is the possibility of it working for people who can deal well with long distance relationships?

[gphiangel624]

Originally posted by James
Knowing you gorgeous, its just another desperate way to make yourself unhappy

I have little doubt there are good partners close to home . . . .

Thanks James... I think you're really the only one who knows exactly what I'm talking about.

New Jersey is closer than Australia, by the way.

[MooseGirl]

online dating is tricky...

i tried it out this past holiday season cuz i was bored....i met a guy who's profile seemed perfect - everything i wanted, same interests - then i met him, had no spark, nothing...
I went on 3 dates with him to give him a chance, but nope.
Since then, I've deleted my profile - I would never pay for anything anyway.

I've found most of em just want sex, and well I can get that elsewhere.

My sorority sister met some guy off the net - they've been married a couple years now.

Another one just met her boyfriend a while ago - they're moving in together this summer.

I guess to each their own!

[Kevin]

Originally posted by gphiangel624
Ok, so what about if you met someone in person, but they live so far away that you won't ever see them or really talk to them unless it's online? Is this nuts and what would guys say is the possibility of it working for people who can deal well with long distance relationships?

I did it once, would not recommend. Lived about 500 miles (almost on the dot) away. She was down in Beaumont, TX. I was up in the Oklahoma City area. We met at a CKI divisional event that I attended. I did go down at least once a month while we were an item. It had its ups and downs. Was a very interesting relationship. Would have probably been something very serious had it been local. It sucked though being so far away, so 3 months into it, we decided that it wasn't a good idea.

On the other hand, my younger brother met a girl from Knoxville, Tennessee at a Young Life retreat. They've been together for I think 2 years. She went to school for 2 years at Furman (She's a Chi-O). After making it work for those 2 years, she transferred up to Oklahoma University to be closer to him. She's currently staying with their parents back in Knoxville and he's leaving in a couple of days to go propose to her.

Long distance relationships can work. Most often, they do not. In my opinion, like James said, you can probably find someone just as good close to home. Personally, I don't find it to be worth the trouble. It takes a hell of a committment. Personally, I wouldn't recommend it. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do here. Just weigh the pros and cons and go with whichever wins out.

[AEPhiSierra]

one of my pledge sisters has had pretty good luck with jdate. so far none of them have been "the one" but none of them have been wierd or crazy either so she keeps on trying.

[Lisa Fishman]

I've used Jdate before. It's not too bad. I've met many interesting people through it.

[CatStarESP4]

I am on PerfectMatch and Chemistry (I have yet to finish my profile on this site).

A few months ago, I joined eHarmony. I didn't see any match that 'rang my bells' or piqued my interest. I cancelled my paid membership as well as closing my account.

I am also on UU Singles.

[Senusret I]

I joined match.com and my best matches are all white guys in their 50s.

Not that I wouldn't date white people or even someone outside of my age range, but on the internet, it's very hard to determine if a white guy or old guy is only sending me a message because I'm his fetish.

Ya know?

That's why I generally stick to my own age range (or slightly above) and race, when it comes to internet dating.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I joined match.com and my best matches are all white guys in their 50s.

Not that I wouldn't date white people or even someone outside of my age range, but on the internet, it's very hard to determine if a white guy or old guy is only sending me a message because I'm his fetish.

Ya know?

That's why I generally stick to my own age range (or slightly above) and race, when it comes to internet dating.

i hear you. i had a similar experience with match.com - my matches were, for the most part, older, divorced, white men who may or may not have fetishes.

but from my understanding of match.com and your profile options, were you selecting your (racial and age) preferences to match potential mates? in other words, if you left the race and age categories very broad, did you select potential matches' profiles to reflect the same, or specifically men who are into black men?

if anything, that's one way to judge if its a fetish thing or not. but you probably knew that, youre a smart guy.

[tld221]

as to MY feelings about internet dating?

ive tried different sites and come up with dismal results. i dont find anything wrong with finding dates online and wouldnt judge anyone for it. for clarification, are we including social networking sites under "internet dating?"

if anything i feel like dating sites don't attract a certain "type" of person. most Americans date, right? it has wide appeal and i would expect the populations of these sites to be microcosms of who's "out there" in the dating world. so finding "the one," IMO, will be more or less the same online as it would be IRL.

[LightBulb]

Originally Posted by veemers

...but then we broke up because he has a Batman phobia.

Best reason for a breakup ever.