Creating a Co-Ed Local

[OrigamiTulip]

I live right down the street from Rollins, and have spent quite a bit of time there, including doing some of my practicum work in grad school with OSIL. NCM is a good group. My earlier point was that I just don't think its fair to judge an organization that has lasted a long time, and worked for a lot of people, on the basis of a handful of message board posts from one member.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OrigamiTulip

FYI - The split with Pi Phi, and creation of NCM took place back in 1970. Can't be that stupid of an organization to have survived for 37 years.

I know when the split occurred from the great Pi Beta Phi. It was on their Wiki page.

And my post had nothing to do with the OP because she isn't claiming to be representing NCM.

37 years and your claiming the group "has worked for a lot of people" (whatever that means) doesn't mean a group's not dumb. If I concede that they're not dumb, it's because of their philanthropy (which was listed on 2 unofficial sites) that I find admirable from the vague information that is provided.

[mneiai]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

What niche are you filling?

A group that would be social, that would be a lot more relaxed than the sororities on campus, especially since there are quite a few girls who have said they wish things such as sorority recruitment were as chill as what the frats do. It would also, hopefully, fill the void for all of the guys who don't want to be "frat guys" (with all the stereotypes, and truths when it comes to some of them, that go along with that), but would still like the closeness and experiences that a greek organization offers. (Note: I have actually talked to multiple males and females about this, this isn't just guesswork)

We have two organizations on campus that are co-ed, but both revolve around doing specific activities (one is a service organization and the other is for outdoors-y activities) and don't throw parties and only really take part in events/philanthropies with other organizations.

And I'm not sure why people think I'm ignoring the opportunities that my sorority has offered for me or why I think it's "disposable." And they're certainly not stupid. Every sorority girl I've talked to has had similar problems as we're currently having, with drama and conflict (and the ones that don't have that, always talk about problems with their nationals, yet another reason why starting a chapter of a national is not appealing). Wanting to be in something that is coed doesn't mean I hate my sorority, more that I think the idea of segregating organizations by gender is somewhat ridiculous.

I would, also, assume that the "Pi Phis rock. NCM looks stupid." comment isn't considering the fact that Pi Phi is dead on this campus, yet NCM is still around....I'd say Pi Phis very much didn't "rock," here.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by mneiai

A group that would be social, that would be a lot more relaxed than the sororities on campus, especially since there are quite a few girls who have said they wish things such as sorority recruitment were as chill as what the frats do.

NPC in the last couple years has advocated that each campus take a look at different styles of rush, and if you would like yours to be more "chill," you can do so, without changing your sorority into a fraternity. If the majority of groups on your campus dislike the rigidity of formal rush, they don't have to be stuck with it.

However, if you're the only group that feels that way, why not just break away from campus Panhellenic and do rush on your own?

I guess I'm just confused as to why you want to take 37 years of history (quite admirable for a local group) and toss it, when all you need is to realize that a "sorority" doesn't mean only one thing. Unless you mean that people could belong to your sorority AND the co-ed group you're trying to start.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by mneiai

A group that would be social, that would be a lot more relaxed than the sororities on campus, especially since there are quite a few girls who have said they wish things such as sorority recruitment were as chill as what the frats do. It would also, hopefully, fill the void for all of the guys who don't want to be "frat guys" (with all the stereotypes, and truths when it comes to some of them, that go along with that), but would still like the closeness and experiences that a greek organization offers. (Note: I have actually talked to multiple males and females about this, this isn't just guesswork)

Why can't the members work within their organizations to defy stereotypes and make things more laid back? This is why it seems that your current membership is disposable to you.

Founding new organizations based on criticisms of the current organizations (you didn't provide any niche, service interest, or foundation that is more substantive than that) often does not end well. The new organization is often filled with bitter people whose entire existence is based on NOT being a part of "that other stuff." Also, don't be so cocky as to think that you all will not have your own issues and stereotypes to deal with.

Why not just petition for change within your respective orgs and work closely with one another for some co-ed effect? I know it won't fully be co-ed but there are also pros and cons with co-ed.

I think the response you're getting from us isn't because you want to start a new organization. It's because of your reasons for starting a new organization.

Originally Posted by mneiai

I would, also, assume that the "Pi Phis rock. NCM looks stupid." comment isn't considering the fact that Pi Phi is dead on this campus, yet NCM is still around....I'd say Pi Phis very much didn't "rock," here.

They rock at a lot of other places, though. And NCM could still look stupid, however, THERE is the only thing we would have to go based on because it's a local. And a local that has very little info circulating about it.

I don't know why NCM (the name is still dumb) came from Pi Phi. Was it that Pi Phi lost its charter or were they just unhappy actives?

Ok I'm so confused.

To the OP, by starting this new co-ed club, are you saying that you'll be ending NCM? Or will NCM continue on campus and you're just breaking off from it?

[DSTCHAOS]

I didn't know exactly why NCM came in, either. That's why I didn't think the OP was claiming to represent NCM.

[AlwaysSAI]

The Op has also mentioned experiencing drama in her sorority and hoping to avoid that with a co-ed org.

/Just sharing/

I'm in a co-ed org and we have more drama than I have ever experienced in my all-female GLO.

/Just sharing/

[DSTCHAOS]

Ohhhhh nooooo, AlwaysSAI, men are sooooooo much more funererer and laid back than women are. They aren't gossipy, petty or catty and that's why a lot of women hang with guys rather than girls. No drama. Right?

Did your Sigma Alpha Iota chapter have a "no dating" rule, since it's co-ed? I know this isn't a requirement for co-eds but some chapters do it. I also heard people talking about "no dating" rules for single-sex organizations' chapters. This would prevent the drama from chapter brothers dating each other and from chapter sisters dating each other.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Ohhhhh nooooo, AlwaysSAI, men are sooooooo much more funererer and laid back than women are. They aren't gossipy, petty or catty and that's why a lot of women hang with guys rather than girls. No drama. Right?

Did your Sigma Alpha Iota chapter have a "no dating" rule, since it's co-ed? I know this isn't a requirement for co-eds but some chapters do it. I also heard people talking about "no dating" rules for single-sex organizations' chapters. This would prevent the drama from chapter brothers dating each other and from chapter sisters dating each other.

No Sigma Alpha Iota chapters are co-ed. We hold social status and therefore are exempt from title IX. We are historically all female and chose to do whatever it took to remain that way. A man can only be inititated as an honorary member under two categories:
National Arts Associate - a man or woman who is nationally recognized for distinguished contribution to the arts.
Friend of the Arts - a man or woman who is supportive of and actively involved in the arts at a local or regional level.
They don't participate in the full initiation ritual--they recieve a seperate ritual. They are told some of our secrets during the ceremony and since they learn our grip and password they are allowed to attend full ritual ceremonies, but don't participate in them.

My co-ed org would be Phi Sigma Pi National Honor Fraternity founded in 1916 by six men who wanted an org that emphasized SCHOLARSHIP, LEADERSHIP, AND FELLOWSHIP. They did not choose to remain single sex after title IX and thus women were granted membership. And, no, we don't have a "no dating" rule. There is actually a brother who has dated two women--both members of the chapter.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Based on the OP's location, I assume that it's Non Compis Mentis, a local at Rollins College that seems to have been started by members of the former Pi Phi Chapter.

And yes, they spell it compis, not compos.

They have a wine tasting in their chapter room???

And serious question because I really do find this intriguing, do they wear the English letters "NCM" or do they translate it into greek as Nu Chi Mu or something similar? Have they ever considered adopting greek letters instead as they get further away from the original split?

[maxdielr]

coed is cool i'm in one and we have so much fun in it. i lov the guy in this and the gurl are pretty coool
but u shold know that is a lot of work
AlphaPhi Omega
COED SERVES FRATERNITY

[MysticCat]

^^^^

That sig -- COED SERVES FRATERNITY -- made my day.

[Frenzy]

Lambda Lambda Lambda is a Co-ed fraternity with 2 chapters right now at UCONN and at SUNY Buffalo, And 2 more possible chapters might be joining us.

Follow the 12

[CougarGrad]

Listen, original poster... since you did ask for advice... I looked at the NCM website and read your posts on this thread. Before you make any moves, ask yourselves this: Do you REALLY want to start over? All over? Making new rules and policies? The trial and error of the whole process? The blood, sweat, and tears, which will by far outweigh the "fun" for at least the first few years? I mean, if you really are up for the tasks (and there will be many of them), then good luck.

There must be some reason why NCM (assuming that we're correct and this is the sisterhood you were talking about in the first place) chose to invite you to become a sister, and why you accepted the invitation. Dropping everything and creating a new group just because there is "drama" or some of you don't like how things are going isn't necessarily the answer. Your organization's got longevity and tradition... it sounds like you need to band together to improve the sisterhood.

Maybe it's just the kind of person I am, but based on the information you've given, if I were in your spot, I'd feel like I was abandoning my previous group without giving it my all.

There will always be some drama wherever you go, even if you form a new co-ed organization. There will always be people who don't work as hard as others. There will always be people you can't rely on for assistance or sisterhood. If you're trying to get away from those things in favor of an organization that is more "laid back" or "chill" in some ways, I'm afraid you might be disappointed.

And hey, I'm not chastising you. You do whatever you want, and I sincerely wish you good luck no matter what you choose. I just know that if it were me, I'd work to make better what I already have.

*Edit* And my bad for not remembering before I wrote that out that this thread's nearly a month old... but oh well.