Adviser help - feeling unappreciated - Page 2

Tom Earp · #16 01-25-2005, 06:25 PM

The Problem is that many times Advisors are not respected, forget that That They, DA, Never went through the same things that a current Chapter is going through.

The We can do it isnt really true. As LXAAlum stated, Advisors are not needed until there are Problems.

Executive Committee is made of Active Members who should know what is going on. They can be voted out of Office if They are not following guide lines of IHQ Dogma.

Remember, They are Not Running Their Own Little Kingdom, They are Officers who are empired to do the best for the Total group.

Granted, there are Some Advisors who will go over board, but more than likely not because, they have been there, done it and dont want to see something done that will screw up the whole balance.

If Your GLO is like LXA, You are required to Have An Alum Advisor.

Not someone who just Graduated from that Chapter, but someone who has been around and has knowledge from some where else or has been away long enough from Your Chapter, usually 3-5 Years.

BSUPhiSig'92 · #17 01-26-2005, 10:58 AM

Let's face it, aren't there lots of people in our lives who take us for granted every day until they really need us? Why should fraternity/sorority be any different? Sometimes, a new executive board can seem really distant because you don't connect with them the same way you did with a previous one. People are different it just happens.

OleMissGlitter · #18 01-26-2005, 11:16 AM

I've been a Chapter Adviser for about 3 years now. I read somewhere in some manual once that they learn from their own mistakes...therefore, as long as they are not burning down the house or doing something crazy, I let them have their own ideas.
Sometimes, I just sit at meetings and listen to them talk about something or watch them plan an event. Every now and then I will give my 2 cents, but most of the time; I try to let them make their own decisions. I also never tell them, "Well when I was in college we use to do this..." I am there to make sure they are following the bylaws and rules. Anyway, when I first started I felt unappreciated, but now I have learned that the success of the chapter is my reward. When the chapter does well in recruitment or succeeds with a new philanthropic event, that is my appreciation...

pinkyphimu · #19 01-26-2005, 01:49 PM

i agree about letting the chapter make their own mistakes, but there are a few things i have stepped in on...in a tactful way. there was something they were planning for recruitment that honestly would have made them the laughing stock of campus, so the other advisor present and i let them know. they made changes (which still made my skin crawl, but was much more appropriate) and things went over just fine. i clearly put my foot down for things against policies, make suggestions when asked, and help out with what i can. the main thing that frustrates me is that i honestly don't want to have to chase the exec board down for information and to make sure they stay on top of their positions. i am not their mom, lol, but frequently, i wait till the last minute and ask, "how is xyz coming along?" and they look at me like i have nine heads and say, "what is xyz? when is it due?" oye. i also never expect the general chapter to appreciate me. the majority of my work is done with the exec board, so i know they don't always see what i do.

FSUZeta · #20 01-26-2005, 02:28 PM

to help the chapter to learn how an advisory position works. the chapter i advise actually thought that we advisors were paid to be advisors!!(if only!).when we found that out, we decided to hold an impromptu info. session during their chapter meeting with a schematic of the national organization volunteers and where everyone falls in that diagram and who(if any) are paid or get reimbursed for certain expenses. after that they looked on us in a whole different light.

Tom Earp · #21 01-27-2005, 05:35 PM

Paid Advisors, wow are many of the GLOs Chapters unknowing for sure!

What many dont actually know, the only pay is the satisfaction that Advisors get by seeing Their Charges as it were do well.

They do not understand the amount of time, the cost that acrued by what Advisors do, is for Just one Thing, LOVE.

AXiDTrish · #22 01-27-2005, 06:45 PM

Getting paid to be an advisor.....????

After the HOURS of emails, phone calls, meetings, text messages, and training (did I forget anything?) involved in starting a colony and installing a chapter....I don't think my org could afford our advisory board!

Thank goodness we love our letters!

LXAAlum · #23 01-27-2005, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FSUZeta
the chapter i advise actually thought that we advisors were paid to be advisors!!(if only!).when we found that out, we decided to hold an impromptu info. session during their chapter meeting with a schematic of the national organization volunteers and where everyone falls in that diagram and who(if any) are paid or get reimbursed for certain expenses. after that they looked on us in a whole different light.

The only increase we see isn't in our wallets, but in our hearts.

To see a chapter rise to new heights, or simply maintain standards, or to come through a challenge is payment enough.

It goes back to the old saying "you'll only get out of it what you put into it" really applies as a volunteer.

WesternAlumn · #24 01-30-2005, 01:06 PM

I want to thank everyone for their advice. It seems that too many of us have been through this.

Unfortunately, the ladies have made changes to their chapter / exec meeting times and it looks that I will be unable to attend either (I have a full time job and cannot drop by the house at their convenience). It looks like my participation as an advisor will be minimal.

I have been doing this for 5 years and it seems that every new Exec finds a new way to push me away. Maybe, they really don't want my help. They say they want alum support (as there has been very little) but they have not done anything to inspire the alum to come back to support them. (I know, whole other issue altogether...) Sigh, I have enough problems with my own life. I love my chapter and want to see it thrive and survive but all my dealings with the chapter lately have stressed me out! Why am I bothering with this? Why not just become another apathetic alum?

AChiOAlumna · #25 01-30-2005, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WesternAlumn
Why am I bothering with this? Why not just become another apathetic alum?

Because you aren't any ole burned out alum...You "do" care!! It's for these reasons that you are involved and without involvement from other sisters like yourself, the future of your sorority as a whole will cease to survive!

pinkyphimu · #26 01-30-2005, 08:37 PM

the other option for you is to take a different role in the ac so that you don't need to reschedule your life to try to help. or you could get involved on a more national scale. i am sure there is an open position just dying for someone to fill! you will be renewed with love for your org and probably feel more appreciated!

33girl · #27 01-30-2005, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WesternAlumn
IUnfortunately, the ladies have made changes to their chapter / exec meeting times and it looks that I will be unable to attend either (I have a full time job and cannot drop by the house at their convenience). It looks like my participation as an advisor will be minimal.

I have been doing this for 5 years and it seems that every new Exec finds a new way to push me away. Maybe, they really don't want my help.

Gawd, it's not all about you!!

Maybe they changed meeting times due to, umm, CLASSES or a conflict scheduling at the student center or something.

If you've got this much of a chip on your shoulder about it and think that everything they do is to push you away, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

WesternAlumn · #28 02-18-2005, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Gawd, it's not all about you!! Maybe they changed meeting times due to, umm, CLASSES or a conflict scheduling at the student center or something. If you've got this much of a chip on your shoulder about it and think that everything they do is to push you away, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

All I wanted was some advice from other advisors who have encountered the same thing that was happening to me.

To all those offering their kind words and support, I really appreciate it. It has helped me make a decision with regards to my volunteering as an advisor.

AChiOAlumna · #29 02-18-2005, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WesternAlumn
All I wanted was some advice from other advisors who have encountered the same thing that was happening to me.

To all those offering their kind words and support, I really appreciate it. It has helped me make a decision with regards to my volunteering as an advisor.

I don't remember how long ago you went to alum status, but there are a couple of things I've seen about advisory boards...

1) The closer the age you are to the girls, the harder it is to accept the changes of the chapter. I've been advising off and on since 1992 when I graduated from college. The changes impacted me much more then than it does now.

2) Those who graduate from the chapter they advise seem to have a harder time with advising the chapter. It seems this is due to the fact that they were once an integral part of the chapter and as an advisor the chapter becomes more distance and foreign to them than when they were active.

It may be if both these issues are impacting you, then you may need to take a breather and get some distance and perspective. There's nothing wrong with that. My advising took a 7-year hiatus at one point. I'm now the oldest advisor on the board (at the ripe old age of 30-something!!) and the only one who wasn't affiliated with the active house. I have less at stake when the girls make decisions that will impact them (unless it's a mistake that impacts the sorority as a whole!).

Good luck to whatever you decide!

Tom Earp · #30 02-18-2005, 06:07 PM

WesternAlumn, what AChiOAlumna said!

What many dont realize and I have seen it many times, when a New Alum goes back for visits, they are closer to Active Chapter.

It may take several years to realize, I am not an Active, but an Alum and have different prioritys on how things are handled.

Not to be an ass, but how close were you and did you try to judge and places rules of the good old days on them?

Hell, I have been there and I was the founder and told it was none of my business.

I am still doing after 40 years.

Is there a Chapter near you that you can spend time with and be away from The Closeness of Your Chapter which may be the problem?