A Mad Men re-rushing story

[SC2013]

House Tours are the first time you get to see the girls' "rush school" put into action. During Convo Days, the president, VP, and rush chair all walk out hand in hand, welcome us, then walk back into the house and then we all file in after them, and at the end of the party the girls silently fill the door and wave goodbye until someone shuts the door.

House Tours is when door chants come into play. I've seen them before but it was so cute to see the freshmen PNMs' reactions! Seriously, every single door chant is adorable (albeit a little crazy!). And every house is beautiful by the way! We truly have an amazing Greek system at this school. On top of that, every single girl is involved, smart, driven, and social, so there's really no losing whatever house you join (although rushing with 999 other involved, smart, etc. women is daunting too!).

The first house I visited was Trudy Campbell. I remembered I had a not-so-fabulous time, simply because of the mirrored room/reverberating girl-voices fiasco . All of my roommates got this house back, and we all kind of figured our super-involved Trudy Campbell was looking out for us during rush, which shows how sweet she is and how much she loves her house . First off, let me say that this house has THE catchiest door chants, lawn dances, songs, etc. EVER. The house is beautiful. Oh my goodness. It's very sunlit and airy and easy to navigate. I managed to see our super-involved friend for the first time this semester and finally got to give her a hug! The first girl I was paired with showed me some of their rooms which were decorated beautifully (by the way, I'm positive EVERY sorority house has a room with the Audrey Hepburn picture in it ). She was super nice and funny, and I'm glad I got another shot at this house, and that we didn't have to yell ourselves silly to hear each other! She introduced me to her big, who was on the executive board. She asked me what year I was, and she said that she rushed as a sophomore too (yet another side note: I frequently get paired up with seniors or girls that rushed as sophomores for some reason--I'm young for a sophomore, but I've been told I act very mature and confident?). She was very outgoing, confident, and interested in what I had to say as well as happy to answer any questions I had about the house. I saw the first girl I'd talked to during Convo Days, and I made sure to say hi and be excited to see her, because I wanted to make sure she knew that I did enjoy talking to her yesterday, I just had a hard time hearing! I had a really great time, was glad I met some executive board members, and was very grateful I had a second chance at this house.

Joan Holloway I was paired up with a senior who was very very nice. As I've noticed with some girls in this house, she was a bit on the quieter side in terms of personality but still interested, interesting, and inquisitive. We sat down for a bit and I could kind of tell I'd have to be the one to ask questions, but this turned out to be really nice because I learned a lot about the house. She'd studied abroad the semester before and visited a lot of countries in Europe that I'd been to years ago. I'm really interested in learning different languages and traveling, so we had so much to talk about! Finally another Joan Holloway had to walk in and tell us that the party was over and pretty much everyone else had already left! I really liked how this house's House Tour wasn't so much a "here's our pretty house, check it out!" because ALL of the houses at our school are straight up mansions anyways. The fact that the "house tour" was organized so that it was less on aesthetics and decorating and more on connecting with and talking longer with a girl than on Convo Days was really important to me. Also, their door chant at the end was really funny and sassy and showed that they were a down to earth, non-prissy house that still had a lot of house pride and love of sisterhood.

Peggy Olson I was paired up with a very quiet girl, perhaps bordering on awkward I hate to say. I don't mean this as any kind of insult at all, but more as a description since, hey, I consider myself very awkward, but we sat down on a couch and I felt like my talking must have turned into babbling, the way she looked almost...angry! at the fact that I was so talkative. (I am not talkative in the slightest, by the way.) I was feeling kind of bad/worried and then my Peggy Olson friend from my hometown walked by with her PNM. This was the first time I'd seen her all semester and I was so happy (....relieved? ) to see her, and so she and her PNM joined us at the couch. This meant that she and I ended up catching up a little bit about our mutual friends and the rest of our summers, and I tried to make it a group conversation, and my friend's PNM was chatty but the girl I was paired up with was very silent! After a little bit we parted ways to walk around the house, I went upstairs and saw some rooms that were spacious and sunlit. I ended up on the landing of the 2nd floor and talking with a girl who I believe is on the exec board. I got to be my jokey self which was great, and walking past one of the wall displays (every house has them with pics of their philanthropy, socials, etc.) I recognized one of my guy friends, wearing some kind of Superman-ish costume, and I said, "Oh my gosh it's ______! He would be shirtless!" which is nice because generally it's kind of awkward for me to be shown these wall displays because after a year I generally already know the deal about socials, exchanges, etc. So I did get a better chance to meet the actual girls in this chapter...the girl from exec was nice, but the girl I was paired up with for most of the tour did not click with me very well. Of course, it could just be one girl, but I think generally exec members are going to be elected for their social, outgoing qualities that mean they get along better with everyone they meet, and of course my friend and I have lots in common from just being from the same hometown. So would all the regular, non-exec girls in this house that I didn't already know from back home (so basically 99% of the house) be as offput by my outgoing (by comparison ) personality? Since the next round, Slideshow, would be seeing "up to 4 houses," I knew I'd be able to find out more the next day, if the first girl didn't demand I get dropped! So far...it's not a good sign.

Jane Sterling I had a long break before this house so it was dusk by the time I got here. The house is drop dead gorgeous, probably my favorite (not biased because of my sister...although my sister's university doesn't have Greek housing so she's always jealous of this house!). Going to this house always makes me feel light as air...it's just very natural, laidback, chill, but fun. Along with Joan Holloway, they have that "tomboys who like to still dress up and look nice" kind of vibe, which I love. I've been inside their house before and always liked it, but I think last year I remember it being slightly old looking, guess they must have spruced it up because it looks even BETTER than it did before...and before it was gorgeous. The first girl I talked to was great, I felt like I was talking to an old high school friend or something. We went up to the second floor and we stopped by one of the smaller bedrooms, a girl was there and somehow we got to talking about a mutual friend. Then the first girl and I walked across to a 4 person bedroom which is ginormous and as we left the room I saw the picture on the door of the girls that lived in that room, and I recognized one of my friends that lived on the same floor as me last year. Downstairs I was introduced to another girl and immediately we both kind of looked at each other funny. "I know I've met you somewhere before...!" We both lived in the same building last year but on different floors, but we had some mutual friends and we had fun trying to figure out where on earth we'd seen each other. She was very laidback and so easy to talk to. When she walked me out the door we hugged, and I'm pretty sure I've hugged other girls that have walked me out the door but this just felt unforced, just like saying bye to any other real friend.

At the end of the day I knew that rankings didn't matter because I had 4 houses and could be invited back to 4, but in any case I ranked them:

Jane Sterling Maybe my sister and I would be SISTERS, too?
Joan Holloway The house that just makes me feel a "this is where I could be, dressed up to the 9s or rolling out of bed in weirdo pajamas" sense of peace.
Trudy Campbell Really the nicest second chance I've ever had.
Peggy Olson Only time will tell?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Of course, it could just be one girl, but I think generally exec members are going to be elected for their social, outgoing qualities that mean they get along better with everyone they meet

Nah, not really. One word: treasurer. (No offense to all the treasurers out there.) There can also be other exec board positions that can be just sheer hell, and it's all about finding the girl who can get the job done and will suck up all the crap that comes with it - regardless of whether she's the most beloved sister in the chapter.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Nah, not really. One word: treasurer. (No offense to all the treasurers out there.) There can also be other exec board positions that can be just sheer hell, and it's all about finding the girl who can get the job done and will suck up all the crap that comes with it - regardless of whether she's the most beloved sister in the chapter.

Right. Outgoing -- social chair, rush chair, pledge trainer, and president (sorta)
Not so important -- treasurer, secretary, scholarship, risk management, vice president, house manager, philanthropy

[SC2013]

I might as well throw out what I wore during each round, hopefully it will help others going through rush (although this isn't a southern school, so probably will seem too informal for some):

Convo Day 1: purple-grey halter with a high waisted floral patterned skirt, grey gladiator sandals.

House Tours: one of those 2-in-1 kind of dresses. I actually found a picture of it online, although the top part of mine was black and the necklace was more subdued. I wore black cutout heels with it.

Slideshow: Blue maxi dress, silver jewelry (by that I mean silver colored jewelry, I'm a spaz and don't trust myself with fancy shmancy expensive stuff), and woven espradrille wedges

Pref: a blue/purple type of floral dress, I actually felt a bit overdressed at pref! I wore darker pewter jewelry and black heels.

[33girl]

I can't see your pref dress unless you went wearing a red X.

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I can't see your pref dress unless you went wearing a red X.

I did! It was very memorable!

I went back and changed it, hopefully it's viewable now.

[*winter*]

So...are you done with rush? Nice outfits BTW! Must be somewhere warmer than where I'm at

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by *winter*

So...are you done with rush? Nice outfits BTW! Must be somewhere warmer than where I'm at

Yes, I rushed in August! And thank you

The next round was Slideshow Day! Out of a possible 4 invites, I received 3:

Trudy Campbell
Joan Holloway
Peggy Olson

I'd been dropped from Jane Sterling, which I was honestly surprised about not because of my potential? legacy status, but because I thought that I had found a real connection there and I got to know so many women really well the day before.

(By the way, my best friend who thought Joan Holloway would be a "significant drop" from Midge Daniels got dropped from both this round...she ended up joining Jane Sterling and so now my best friend is sisters with my sister! Actually, at bid night when a Jane Sterling found out from my best friend that we live together, she said "Oh my gosh! _______! I was obsessed with her! But I think she dropped us..." Panhellenic whoopsie?)

I was, however, extremely excited to go back and see Joan Holloway! I'd been curious about their voting process, considering I'd met 4 girls at all the other houses and only one at Joan Holloway, making it more Pref-like than House Tour-y, if that makes sense--which I truly liked a whole lot better.

First up was Trudy Campbell. Again, this house has the catchiest songs ever. My contacts were bugging me so I wore glasses at this party, and some girls looked at me kind of funny...(so after this party I definitely changed into contacts, but that was kind of off-putting). I was paired up with a new girl and led into the slideshow room. The theme is very cute and elaborate and the girls get really into it. I found lots of things about their philanthropy and chapter in general that I really liked or connected with and mentioned that to the girl I was paired with. They consistently get lots of Greek awards, are very involved, and as I'd noticed before, have a very strong sisterhood with very close big/little bonds. After the slideshow, I talked to a junior or senior and the conversation was kind of...pleasant. Somehow the next girl I talked to would not veer from talking about food trucks. I don't have much to say in regards to food trucks so...that conversation was a little strained as well. However, on the way out I saw many of the girls I'd talked to during House Tours and I waved to them, and the girl that was walking me out commented that I must know a lot of girls in the house. I felt a little disappointed leaving but I felt I could still "learn" from this house if they wanted to Pref me, because I didn't feel like I had gotten along with them AT ALL during Convo Days, but had a really great House Tour there, and maybe Pref could tell a different story too.

Next was Joan Holloway. I was paired up with a different senior girl than last time, she was really outgoing and asked me a lot of questions. It was great because I could tell that she wanted to know more about me and whether I'd be a good fit, rather than at Trudy Campbell where it was more up to me to ask questions and talking to so many girls felt like Convo Days v2.0. At Joan Holloway, again it felt very personal and Pref-y. We had a lot in common, even found out we had some mutual friends. As we walked down to the slideshow area, I think I'd mentioned my sister was in a sorority at another school and she asked me which one. When I said she was a Jane Sterling, she asked me when I was going to visit that house today and I told her I wasn't. I think she wanted to see the chances of me wanting their house over my sister's, which meant a lot to me since I want their house back. The slideshow room was really prettily set up but it wasn't deafeningly loud like at Trudy Campbell's. Anyways, through their slideshow I got to learn so much about their chapter. They're one of the consistently improving chapters that always wants to better themselves while still being nice to everyone. They've won first place in fraternity philanthropies consistently, are very passionate about their own philanthropy, and have great programming for girls within their house too. After visiting this house again it really reaffirmed my good instincts about this house from even before rush. I even liked the way they rushed PNMs, really focusing on getting to know a girl in depth. And their commitment to the Greek system here stands out above the rest to me, and that says a lot since our Greek system is huge and has a large presence. On top of that, though I'm serious about this house and undoubtedly the girl that was rushing me is too, we both got along very easily and jokingly. And I definitely could've worn glasses here and not gotten weird looks.

I'll give more about Peggy Olson in a bit. It's kind of an interesting story...

[BraveMaroon]

MORE!!!

Peggy Olson interests me because my house was smaller than average when I joined - and so sisters had to take 2 rushees the first round. And a lot of them found that off putting.

So, if you're a smaller house, you can't win! You can borrow sisters if possible or you can double rush - but either way, PNMs don't like it.

Hrrrm.

So anyway...MORE!

[victoriana]

More, more, more!!! Loving it

[SC2013]

More about Peggy Olson.

The pre-party revelation

There is so much negative tent talk about this house for no reason besides the fact that they are typically smaller than our ginormous other chapters on campus. But I had to admit...at this point I knew I had to be honest with myself.

Because of catty girls' unfounded comments (usually something like "I'm so glad I got to cut Peggy so I didn't have to see her for House Tours!" Why? Were they rude to you? Judgemental? No...because of our university's long Greek history, there are very definitive "tiers" on campus I really can't be bothered with because I know girls in every house and they are all really quite on par in terms of intelligence, friendliness, AND attractiveness as a whole so whatever frat bros want to shoehorn us into--well, I don't care), I finally realized that I had been using reverse tent talk with this house. Stay with me now.

Because I love a good underdog, and I hate it when anyone or anything is looked down on for absolutely unfounded reasons, I have always rooted for Peggy to do well. But during my break before this party, I suddenly thought, "What if my rush experience at Amazing Top House was just like it had been with Peggy these last couple days?"

And I realized that even if this was some kind of Stepford house with leggy bombshells floating around in their natural sorvironment, and every other PNM and their greatgrandmother's neighbor wanted a bid from this house, I would still not want to join this house based on my lack of compatability with this house emotionally.

And I felt so guilty admitting that to myself! I had for some reason felt the need to counterbalance other PNMs' shallow behavior by telling myself that, yes, Peggy Olson needed some love and yes, of course I liked this house even though, yes, I have to wrack my brain to come up with things to say here, and yes, I feel out of place and, yes, even a little scared to be myself in fear of off-putting or offending anyone's sensibilities here.

So was I this whole time discounting my own feelings by feeling sorry for a house? Did I kind of smooth over my lack of compatibility by thinking, no, this girl's just awkward, give her a chance and in three months of sisterhood maybe we'll have a pleasant conversation? Every time the past couple days that at Peggy Olson my gut told me "no, this isn't for you," I immediately felt guilty. I realized that finally. BUT I also acknowledged that they had invited me back for their Slideshow, so that I could learn more about their house.

The Slideshow
It felt like there was a meagre showing of PNMs outside, and lots of girls looking absolutely outraged that they had been invited back. (There were lots of elevator eyes and general harumphing.) I felt guilty again. Well, maybe more kind of pissed off...these holier-than-thou girls probably hadn't tried to make a connection with these girls...they probably tried to make it more difficult. Anyways, I felt like I'd probably be glad to meet another Peggy Olson to see if maybe I'd been wrong all along and my breaktime revelation was just me being stressed out and Red Bull-ed for too long...

When we walked in, my hometown friend jumped up in front of a different active to join me. I immediately felt a sense of relief. And then I immediately noticed that...shoot. I'd felt a sense of relief. But I wouldn't have to squeeze my brain like a sponge at this party, which meant that until tomorrow I could turn off from rush mode. The slideshow came on and my friend went to the aisles to join in on the dance...I was next to the aisle though, and nobody else was next to me in the entire row which I guess was good so I could focus on the slideshow, but I honestly don't remember much of it.

After the slideshow, my friend took me to the backyard where we sat at a patio table...maybe the same one I'd sat at on Convo Days with Other University Peggy. She asked me how my rush was going, and I sheepishly told her I'd had a really good day so far. She asked me what houses I'd seen and I told her.

And then.

She asked me, "Do you want me to get us to drop you?"

I was...shocked. Surprised. Guilty. Nervous. Also concerned about that this was like some kind of backwards dirty rushing. I was silent for a bit. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I wanted to say, and I just remember thinking, "Well...she suggested it....?"

Finally I said, my voice funny sounding even to myself, "Um, well...sure. I guess?" So she said she would put me down for the lowest score when she ranked me, and later she texted me that she would again. She was so...earnest.

So in the midst of my emotional rush week I suddenly was thrown a loop. I felt real bad. But I also knew that if it came to going to Pref here, I wouldn't be able to...do whatever girls do at Pref. Cry. Feel connected and emotional. I could just imagine myself, standing in a group of PNMs holding candles or something (I had no idea how it worked whatsoever), everybody's sobbing while I'm looking around awkwardly. Also, I would rather drop this house than Trudy Campbell, since I felt like I'd had an off day there rather than an off week here, so maybe we would be cross-cutting each other anyways? Also, my friend is a member of this chapter, after all! I hadn't mentioned any uncertainty about Peggy to her, just that I'd had a good day so far...if I could be a good addition to her house, wouldn't she try to talk up good things about her house rather than simply offer to cut me?

Man was I guilty. During break before the party I'd felt guilty for feeling sorry. Now I was sorry for feeling guilty. Or something. Dammit, recruitment!

However, needless to say, ranking my 2 houses for Preference were pretty simple. My other RC (each RC group has 2 RCs, and half of the group usually visits 1 of the 2 during computer ranking) helped me at the computer today.

She asked me what my first choice was.

"Joan Holloway," I must have said with a lot of certainty, because she said:

"I love it when PNMs just know and find a house that they really love," she was looking at me, smiling with a kind of proud approval.

My second choice was Trudy Campbell, and then of course Peggy Olson was my first alternative.

I felt an uneasy peace. I realized that I did feel a weight off my shoulders that I would be dropped from Peggy. So whatever happened tomorrow was meant to happen...right?

[I have a feeling this post is going to make all of you hate me! I'm scared to see your reaction but I think that as a PNM I did my best to give each house a fair and open-minded shot...right? Giving bias to the so-called "top tier" sorority while disregarding actual emotional connection is the flip side to giving bias to the so-called "lower tier" sorority out of indignant support...right? And was I reverse dirty rushed? Am I just a silly little girl who doesn't know what's best for herself??? (Yes.) Thoughts? Like I said, I'm scared to hear your thoughts but a major reason I wanted to share this story is to hear an outsider's insights.]

[DubaiSis]

I have never heard of a chapter offering to cut a PNM. EVER. It was nice of her because, presuming it worked, it would allow you to not have to ISP later. But seriously weird. Here on GC we ask people to have an open mind. It sounds like you did. You thought clearly about whether you would find a home there and decided you just didn't think so. That is not the same as deciding without any consideration at all that these girls were losers and you wanted no part of them.

As far as dirty rushed, one of the things the rusher needs to do is determine your interest in them. Even the small chapters have to make a ranked list, so it's good to know where you stand, as a chapter. It's just unusual to know someone well enough to be that blunt. Usually you have to sort of dance around the issue. I'm interested to see if you actually GOT cut from them.

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I have never heard of a chapter offering to cut a PNM. EVER. It was nice of her because, presuming it worked, it would allow you to not have to ISP later. But seriously weird. Here on GC we ask people to have an open mind. It sounds like you did. You thought clearly about whether you would find a home there and decided you just didn't think so. That is not the same as deciding without any consideration at all that these girls were losers and you wanted no part of them.

As far as dirty rushed, one of the things the rusher needs to do is determine your interest in them. Even the small chapters have to make a ranked list, so it's good to know where you stand, as a chapter. It's just unusual to know someone well enough to be that blunt. Usually you have to sort of dance around the issue. I'm interested to see if you actually GOT cut from them.

DubaiSis, just read your retro recruitment story...the part about the cocktail drink/weird frozen fruit skewer business reminds me that during House Tours with Trudy Campbell, we were served a fruity drink out of margarita glasses that were very wide and shallow, and while walking through the house I spilled most of it on my skirt! It's a black skirt that is miraculously stain-resistant and there were a ton of napkins at hand but I said, "Man, I've had way too many of these."

Dunno. That just sparked my memory.

Yeah, I'd never ever thought that somebody would ask me if they should drop me...the most stressful part during rush is figuring out what on earth each house decides to do. And the fact that a good friend of mine asked made it so much stranger.

[FleurGirl]

I am like seriously on pins and needles waiting to hear how it went. Good luck!!

[BraveMaroon]

Well, you were respectful and open-minded of Peggy, and that's more than we can say for some of your peers.

Were you dirty rushed? Yeah, I mean she definitely discussed membership selection with you - but in the grand scheme of things, her infraction was pretty minor. And well-intended.

So no, I'm not mad at you or your friend at Peggy.

I really liked the "worst" house when I rushed, and they cut me after second round, which hurt - because I actually wanted to go back and had to listen to everyone bitch about how they *had* to go back. I ended up where I was meant to be, so it's all good.

Now, let's talk prefs...