advice after the cuts - Page 2

UofA Razorback · #16 08-16-2005, 05:13 AM

UofA Fayetteville

All the advice and seeing there are others who have felt the same pain I'm feeling for my daughter tonight is a bit comforting after receiving the tearful phone call tonight.
After a wonderful day and showing well at all the houses she was cut by all but 3.
She still feels a bond with one of the 3, I've encouraged her to learn everything about them and ask questions, show interest. Any other words of wisdom would be helpful.

carnation · #17 08-16-2005, 06:29 AM

I'm an Arkansas alum and I know that recruitment there is rough--years of tradition play into their rush and there are many legacies. All the chapters except 1 are very, very old. Tell her to focus on the 3 she received and find some super girls she'd love to be sisters with.

oldrusheenowmom · #18 08-16-2005, 10:01 AM

The support from everyone is wonderful-- I am hoping that what she "wishes" works out today-- I feel like being in a house will give her some of the confidence that she needs! Someone asked if my house was one of the three. Unfortunately, AZD closed in 2003 at Iowa State. From what I understand, the house went on a major slide??? I have told some ladies rushing at Nebraska and Iowa to look at the houses there. Keeping my fingers crossed for her call today--

TexasStar · #19 08-16-2005, 12:30 PM

I'm holding a special thought and a prayer in my heart for your daughter. I hope the days brings her good news.

UofA Razorback · #20 08-16-2005, 12:57 PM

Thanks Carnation, I am an alumni of UA as well but didn't go through the Greek system. I'm finding out just how "closed" rush can be with a few of the houses. But, our attitude will remain positive - good luck to all your girls who are going through rush!

I'm thinking of your daughter as well, oldrusheenowmom, and will say a special prayer for her today. Good Luck, keep us all posted.

ISUKappa · #21 08-16-2005, 02:02 PM

As an alumna of an Iowa State sorority, I definitely agree that there is a house for everyone there. Unfortunately, sugar and spice is correct, because so many girls do make the minimum GPA requirement for the majority of the houses, the chapters have to cut for other reasons, and lack of really remembering the PNM is one of them. I was cut extremely hard the third day of recruitment, and it is a difficult blow to take (I called my sister crying).

I'm very glad that your daughter returned to those three houses and had a good time at them. I really believe that all the chapters are Iowa State are good chapters, regardless of size. They all have wonderful sisterhood; they all have great things of which to be proud. All that matters is that your daughter finds the chapter in which she feels most comfortable. If she doesn't feel that maybe she's found it by the end of recruitment, I do believe that quite a few chapters (half or more) participate in informal recruitment, either right after formal recruitment ends, in the beginning of the spring semester or continually throughout the year. Informal is much more relaxed and, well, informal, and many of the more shy women find it much easier to really get to know the different houses and reveal more of their personalities through informal recruitment.

Yes, Alpha Xi Delta closed in 2003. I don't know whether the chapter had begun to "slide," but they had had issues with low numbers for a while. Only AXiD Headquarters really knows why the chapter closed.

If you have any other questions or concerns about the chapters your daughter is still interested in, feel free to PM me.

AchtungBaby80 · #22 08-16-2005, 02:32 PM

This thread makes me so sad! I never even thought about what a rushee's mom might be going through if she'd been Greek herself...my mom supported me during rush and wanted me to end up happy, but she didn't go to college so I don't think she was as emotionally invested. Those of you who've mentioned not standing out as a reason an otherwise great girl might be cut are right on the money...I've only been an alum for a couple years, but I remember how difficult it was to remember each girl I talked to when there were up to 12 parties each day and I might've talked to three each time. That's 36 girls! It gets easier as the week goes on because the number of girls you meet is less, but I think that's one reason why a lot of rushees might be cut early on. There's just too many out there, and if you don't make an impression, you won't be remembered as well. I really hope things work out for all the daughters whose moms are posting here!

BetteDavisEyes · #23 08-16-2005, 04:32 PM

Not a mom but a story I have to share happened a year ago. We had a wonderful PNM that was a legacy to another GLO on campus. Her mom was really pushing her to go to her former house. She preffed both houses & finally chose to go to Sigma Kappa b/c she just felt more at home w/us. The hardest thing after she received her bid was watching her cry as she called her mom b/c her mom was not supportive of her decision to stay w/us. To this day, I know her mom is still unhappy w/the decision.

GoneGreek · #24 08-16-2005, 04:54 PM

Some recruitment processes allow houses to do lots of cuts the first day, vs later in the week. If she were at a different school, she just might feel the disappointment later on, which can actually be worse because you get your hopes and almost feel "lead on".

When I was a Rho Chi, there was a woman in my rush group who was cut from 12 of 14 houses on the first day of recruitment. Theta was one of the two sororities she had left, and it was a top 3 choice for most rushees that year with 90% return rates. She ended up being a Theta, much to the jealousy of many other people in our rush group. And she didn't care that she was cut early on, because she still ended up where she was supposed to be. It just made her decision on pref night a whole lot easier. I know it hurts to watch her get cut, but trust and be supportive that it will all work out in the end.

dgdramadawg · #25 08-16-2005, 05:27 PM

It's so hard when people are cut by a lot of houses in the beginning... my heart goes out to you and your daughter. It was hard for me as a rushee to be cut by a lot of the "big Southern houses" at UGA (I grew up in Boston, MA, so I didn't really know much about rush at SEC schools)... however, after the initial really tough cut (I had 9 invites out of 18 houses on campus), I was able to really focus on the houses I was going to and choose the best house for me out of that group (which happened to be my favorite overall). I hope your daughter will find home at one of the houses she was invited back to.

oldrusheenowmom · #26 08-16-2005, 09:54 PM

Well, I just talked with my daughter. Out of the three, she received one invitation-- I am so glad she had at least somewhere to go today- How did UofARazorback's daughter fair?Maybe this one is the house for her or she will choose to wait-- It is hard as a mom-- I hope she isn't afraid of disappointing me-- I keep reminding her how proud we are of her-- Thanks for all the enlightening stories- Hoping she gets invited back for pref. night-- it is such a neat experience!!

pinkyphimu · #27 08-16-2005, 10:09 PM

it sounds like your daughter is really taking things in stride. i will keep my fingers crossed that she gets a pref invite!

oldrusheenowmom · #28 08-16-2005, 10:17 PM

weird question-- or did I goof: What exactly is a legacy? My sister (also an AxiD, but from Iowa) and I were discussing everything- Our grandmother was a Chi O-- but on the Recruitment registration form, it said only one generation- My sister said that when she talked to some of her friends, they indicated that even a niece is a legacy?? Since my house and my mom's house (phi mu) aren't at Iowa State, I didn't list any-- My sister and I are curious-- She finds this all interesting because she was both a rho chi and a rush chairman--

PenguinTrax · #29 08-16-2005, 10:26 PM

Not a weird question at all.

Some groups consider only mothers & sisters.

Others will consider grandmothers, aunts, cousins, etc.

It varies from group to group.

Quote:

Originally posted by oldrusheenowmom
weird question-- or did I goof: What exactly is a legacy? My sister (also an AxiD, but from Iowa) and I were discussing everything- Our grandmother was a Chi O-- but on the Recruitment registration form, it said only one generation- My sister said that when she talked to some of her friends, they indicated that even a niece is a legacy?? Since my house and my mom's house (phi mu) aren't at Iowa State, I didn't list any-- My sister and I are curious-- She finds this all interesting because she was both a rho chi and a rush chairman--

gogoaphi · #30 08-16-2005, 10:27 PM

Most GLO's consider a legacy to be someone with one of the following relatives as a member of the GLO: Sister, Mother, Grandmother, Step-sister, Step-Mother ... aunts and cousins usually aren't considered legacy relationships.

Sounds like your daughter is a Chi-O legacy to me. Is there a Chi-O chapter at that school???

On a more personal note ... reading this thread is making me take a step back on how I'm positioning the greek experience for my step-daughter who is a highschool senior this year. I want to make sure I'm not setting her up to feel bad if things don't work out for her especially when I'm so hard core with my continued involvement in my GLO. Thanks for letting us peek in the window of your experience. Very educational.

Best of luck!