honeymoon fundraising

[joliebelle]

It is incredibly tacky.
Posting it on facebook is just...beyond tacky.

I have seen HM registries with the flights listed as something that people can buy the couple. If you can't afford to fly to your honeymoon then maybe you shouldn't go.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I don't see why a HM registry is any tackier than a standard gift registry. Either one is pretty much saying "we picked stuff out for you to buy us."

[joliebelle]

Regular registries can become tacky when they are pimped out on facebook or on wedding invitations.

[Nanners52674]

This is reason number 678 why Facebook has become a constant reminder of everything tacky, facepalm, and pearl clutching worthy about our world today.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss

yes I've seen it, and yes its beyond tacky- but good Lord seriously don't get me started on what ISN'T tacky on FB these days... everything from begging for money for honeymoons and weddings to personal fundraising for medical expenses... people honestly have ZERO SHAME any more!!!

I had a "friend" who randomly posted in numerous Facebook statuses that he was fundraising for a service trip overseas.. to Africa, I believe. I thought he was part of some church group or social club that was trying to plan a big trip together. I was expecting a cookie order sheet or something to be posted that would assist him in raising funds. But oh no... this guy just wanted his friends to send him money which he would supposedly save and spend to go to Africa by himself. Uh.. seriously?!

Surprisingly, no one ever liked or responded to his posts..

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

I attended an Italian wedding where the bride carried a string purse at the reception and men put cash in the bag to dance with the bride. I had never seen this done before and I was sort of

TonyB06, is this what you were referring to?

Don't even get me started on dollar dances, and the like. Ugh. They're extremely annoying and tacky, they're a disruption in the middle of the reception, and they're not even really worth it. I've gone on rants about this on GC before, so I'll stop here.

[Missouri Ivy]

One of my APhi sisters is getting married next month and was just asking opinions about the dollar dance today. While I don't really like the tradition, the older generations around here pretty much expect it to happen. One friend had a suggestion of donating the money from the dollar dance to a charity.

Also, in my neck of the woods, the groom dances too. My poor husband danced with all of my great aunts. It was kind of sweet though.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by Missouri Ivy

Also, in my neck of the woods, the groom dances too. My poor husband danced with all of my great aunts. It was kind of sweet though.

Oh yes, this is what I've always seen. And then there's the one guy who thinks he's hilarious by paying to dance with the groom...

[KKGCaroline]

Over here, couples will more often than not request money for a honeymoon in lieu of wedding gifts, especially if they've lived together for a number of years.

DH & I have been over here for a couple of years now, and been to a fair amount of weddings, and only one couple had a gift registry.

I've never seen the request go up on Facebook before, that in itself is pretty tacky.

[ADPi95]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

My friend (she and her fiance both have great jobs and are not at all hurting for money) is doing this to finance her 2 week honeymoon to Greece. I think it's the tackiest thing ever. Receiving cash/checks as wedding gifts and using that towards your honeymoon is fine, but asking people to "buy us a gift card for this 5 star restaurant!" is so tacky to me.

Don't even get me started on the money dance.

Speaking of buying a gift card for a 5 star restaurant. The DH and I are going to our friends wedding in a few weeks. I thought it would be a great idea to get them a gift card for a restaurant we know they are going to on their honeymoon instead of a gift (Our Idea. That way, they'll know we're thinking of them on their trip). So I looked up the info online and gift cards started at $750!!! Not, $75, but $750! Yikes! Yeah, we decided that they can pay for their own meal and we'll figure something else out!

Back to the OP. It is extremely tacky. The DH and I didn't get a honeymoon because we couldn't afford it. A lot of people don't go on honeymoons. One day we will and it'll be that much more satisfying when we pay for it ourselves.

[Nanners52674]

$750 for a dinner gift card? Are they serving the food on China with Silver settings you get to take home with you?

How on earth would a couple spend that much on dinner in one night?

[ADPi95]

Originally Posted by Nanners52674

$750 for a dinner gift card? Are they serving the food on China with Silver settings you get to take home with you?

How on earth would a couple spend that much on dinner in one night?

I didn't even mention the upgraded gift card for $800! According to DH, who is a professional chef, French Laundry (in Napa) is THE restaurant in the US. I hope it's one of those places where "you get to keep your dish" that's encrusted with gold.

I looked up their menu and its a choice of two prix fixe starting at @270 each (9 courses each)!!! Then of course, there's wine. I hope they have doggie bags!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I was invited to a bridal shower for a 3rd cousin of my husband's, in which we were asked to bring money for a "money tree" they were creating. The invitation came with a "cute" little poem about the money tree, and a hand-made envelope made out of paper with money printed on it.

I didn't go. I envisioned the bride and guests sitting around while the bride opened each envelope and oohed and aahed over the amount of cash each one contained. I wasn't really sure that would happen...maybe we were supposed to bring a standard gift as well, and she'd open the money tree enveloped later. But just the thought of opening the envelopes added to my abhorrence.

Anyway, I had my MIL and SIL take a gift from her registry, and skipped going myself. It turns out she didn't open the envelopes there. The participation level was lower than expected.

Money trees used to be advocated as a good option if the husband or wife (or both) was in the military, so out of necessity they would be moving around a lot and therefore couldn't take lots of gifts with them. In that instance, it makes perfect sense. But just asking for money in a regular circumstance? No no no. Tacky tacky tacky.

And the dollar dance is pretty common round these parts as there is still a lot of "old world" influence. Basically you are paying for the shot you get, not to dance with the bride.

If you want to finance your honeymoon and have lived together forever, as KKG Caroline mentioned, then register on Ammazon where you can buy the house stuff you need. The wedding I just went to? They used my Ammazon gift card for a thermostat. Then they can use the $$ for their honeymoon. That's fine with me. But asking for $$ for your honeymoon outright is pretty much like asking for your rent/gas/light payment, IMO.

Asking for ANYTHING on Facebook would probably cause me to skip the wedding altogether. That's kind of like the girl who sent wedding invites to people at work 2 weeks beforehand saying "we haven't had the response we wanted, if you would like to come [and of course bring a gift] we would love to have you."

[DubaiSis]

Including a honeymoon registry along with the other registries I don't have a problem with. But blasting it on Facebook seems mighty impersonal. If someone ASKS you about your registry on Facebook, then sure, answer them with all the places where you're registered. And there are regional/cultural differences in what people like to give as gifts. For example, the Greeks in my hometown liked to buy linens (sheets, towels, etc.), but nobody else did. Others prefer the china/flatware/crystal, I think because of its permanence. I'm all about travel, but it is a single-use item, so for some it absolutely doesn't belong as a wedding gift. And then there are the people who buy picnic baskets... And then you just hope you can figure out what store it's from.

[ASUADPi]

For me what makes it tacky is for my SIL and the bride to continue "sharing" the link all over facebook. Yes, we understand that you and your fiancee live together and have a house, you don't need much, but don't go blasting all over facebook that you want us to pay for your honeymoon.

Create a wedding page with a link for people to donate in lieu of gifts.

The thing is my SIL continues to share the link and then say she is getting them a gift!

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by TonyB06

Yep. It happens a lot at Black receptions as well. Usually you give the money to a bridesmaid or someone who is holding a container, before you dance with the bride. Or you pin the money on her wedding gown, or whatever she's changed into.

I've never seen it at a Black wedding, and I've been to my share all over the country. The only wedding I've seen it happen was at a Filipino wedding. The bride didn't want it, but her parents did.

My opinion on this stuff is highly documented on GC. Do y'all remember my tantrum about the treadmill?