Unsuccessful fall rush at Alabama, questions about possible spring rush. Advice?

[TXalum1]

Back to the original post . . .

Remember that you probably did hurt the group that issued the pref invitation. They did want you to be at pref. Those parties are longer, much more special and give a better insight. Lots of minds changes at pref. Remember that if you go through again.

Also, get all your references, especially at a school like this.
Get involved on campus and find another niche. Sorority women belong to other groups, too, and you don't have to be Greek to be active on campus.

As the year goes on, if you still fee you don't fit anywhere, maybe you should look at your reasons for choosing your school. Is it a good fit for you? Sometimes people choose the wrong school and are happier somewhere else.

You had a bad week, and I'm sorry. Now you must move on. You will find something you enjoy and make friends.

[Titchou]

Go read the post from Zillini on the Bama recruitment thread (right now on the last page of that thread)and then call the GA office. Many of the groups will be COBing to average chapter size.

[Zillini]

To the op, I'm sorry you feel hurt by the process. I don't know you so I have no idea why you were cut so heavy. If you had great grades, a strong resume, and Recs, then all I can say is there were literally 100's and 100's of PNMs who had the same thing.

Dwelling on what happened won't help as you won't find anyone who can answer why. Instead I can offer you options for the future if you still wish to pursue Greek life.

Alabama has a separate Upperclassmen Quota for Recruitment. If you look in your Recruitment book you will see what the suggested GPA's are for every chapter for both Freshmen and Upperclassmen. The are listed on each chapter's individual page.

I strongly suggest that you strive for MUCH higher than that in this next year. Chapters are very competitive with their GPA standing. They want Upperclassmen who have proven able to make grades and who can help their overall GPA rank.

Next, you need to get involved in campus activities and orgs. Community services as well. Basically, your resume needs to be just as strong and CURRENT as when you were HS. Most chapters don't care what you did in HS if you haven't done anything in college. Again, they are looking for Upperclassmen who can help get their name out on campus and are involved.

Now you have to bear in mind that some chapters have a "once cut, always cut" mindset and that is regardless of the reason. I can't tell you which chapters they are because this is not something that is advertised. But the majority don't feel this way. Point being, your options may be more limited than an incoming Freshman who is going through.

Also you need to spend this next year getting to know as many Greek women as possible. Having friends in the chapters can only help come recruitment time. Keep in mind though that the Greek women will also know you or know "of" you. You need to watch the reputation you are putting out there on campus during the year.

Just keep in mind that even if you do everything listed above "right", there is still no guarantee of a bid to the chapter of your choice next year.

One other thing to keep in mind, Delta Gamma is slated to recolonize next fall. This is another option you can consider pursuing.

[leesek]

A good friend of mine went through recruitment at Bama a few years ago. She had a full party schedule through skit day then was dropped by all. It was devastating for her. Long story short she still loved her years there and had a very full social life and made great friends and got a great education. There are many orgs on campus that are not greek that you can become a part of. I know it is hard right now, but as school begins there will be many more people on campus and many opportunities coming your way. I feel your pain but things will get better.

[AnchorAlumna]

Remember that even if 30% of the girls there are Greek (and I think it's actually less than that), that means 70% are NOT.
Go here: http://wow.ua.edu/
Scan the CW for clubs and groups that are meeting. Visit the campus student ministry of your choice. Go to church - LOTS of students do and there are several right next to campus.
Volunteer!
There are lots of ways to make friends at UA!

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

You have to understand how many women go through recruitment there and how few spots are available in comparison. There are probably many other girls just like you that had one sorority left (or none at all) by pref, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or them. There are so, so many reasons you might have been dropped, so don't assume it's because you weren't "good enough" or that no one liked you.

Most of my friends from high school went to either Alabama or Auburn, and I can definitely understand feeling like you HAVE to be Greek at Bama, because it seems so important. But most of those most of those were not Greek and had an awesome time regardless. It's a huge campus and 70% of women on campus aren't Greek. You'll be able to find a group, Greek or not, that is a good fit for you. Spend this semester meeting as many people as possible and finding a group of friends that you feel at home with. (And, of course, concentrating on your academics. First, because that's the real reason you're there, and second because if you are still interested in Greek life you will need good grades from your first semester.) Then if you still are interested in Greek Life next semester, call the Greek Life office and ask them for information on COBs.

Also remember that one chapter did want you at their pref party. If that wasn't the chapter for you, that's fine, but some women get dropped by everyone, and one chapter on campus was interested in you!

Good luck!

[kddani]

Not clear on whether the OP actually attended pref or dropped beforehand.

If she dropped before attending the pref party, shame on her for not giving that chapter a chance. They were the only one who gave her a chance, and if she would've given them the same courtesy perhaps she's be pretty happy right now.

No one advocates joining a group that you absolutely do not like. However, most everyone (at least everyone thinking logically...) advocates seeing recruitment through pref. A lot of things can change your mind.

And at such a competitive greek school, formal recruitment freshman year could be the PNM's only legitimate shot.

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by Amicus

My daddy told me that it is better to be 30 and never married than being 40 and paying alimony.

For what it's worth, these are not even mutually exclusive. You could be 30 and never married and paying alimony when you're 40.

[BSCAXOalum]

The one point I have not seen mentioned much if at all that seems to apply at both Alabama and Auburn is that inside pull is a big deal. No, it's not essential (cue Connecticut and California girls) but being THAT far away from home almost sets them apart. If you're from the state or a surrounding state, you need someone in the chapter to fight for you. Many of these girls have been visiting their junior and senior years in high school, have met active girls, gone to parties (good, bad or ugly) so rush is not their first rodeo with these girls. It becomes more and more evident to me that this is almost essential--especially with the sororities everyone seems to "want." This could explain so many high GPA/cute/active/sweet girls that get dropped. Nobody knows them enough to stand up in voting and say, "I know this girl. We HAVE to have her." Hearing, "well she was nice and cute during our skit party" doesn't stand as much ground.

[carnation]

^^^ What she said, especially now that they use RFM and people get cut rapidly.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by BSCAXOalum

The one point I have not seen mentioned much if at all that seems to apply at both Alabama and Auburn is that inside pull is a big deal. No, it's not essential (cue Connecticut and California girls) but being THAT far away from home almost sets them apart. If you're from the state or a surrounding state, you need someone in the chapter to fight for you. Many of these girls have been visiting their junior and senior years in high school, have met active girls, gone to parties (good, bad or ugly) so rush is not their first rodeo with these girls. It becomes more and more evident to me that this is almost essential--especially with the sororities everyone seems to "want." This could explain so many high GPA/cute/active/sweet girls that get dropped. Nobody knows them enough to stand up in voting and say, "I know this girl. We HAVE to have her." Hearing, "well she was nice and cute during our skit party" doesn't stand as much ground.

Originally Posted by carnation

^^^ What she said, especially now that they use RFM and people get cut rapidly.

True.

I mean, think of it this way:

If a chapter has say 150 girls in it, and each one of those girls has 3 PNMs that they know before recruitment (be it from home, HS, wherever) and feel like they "HAVE to have"--- that's about 450 PNMs that have a "connection" in the chapter.

If every one of those "connected" girls get an invite, that makes it rough going for those other PNMs without those connections to a chapter (because there are not many invites left to go around depending their RFM numbers).

I could be way off with this so feel free to tell me I'm crazy. lol.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

True.

I mean, think of it this way:

If a chapter has say 150 girls in it, and each one of those girls has 3 PNMs that they know before recruitment (be it from home, HS, wherever) and feel like they "HAVE to have"--- that's about 450 PNMs that have a "connection" in the chapter.

If every one of those "connected" girls get an invite, that makes it rough going for those other PNMs without those connections to a chapter (because there are not many invites left to go around depending their RFM numbers).

I could be way off with this so feel free to tell me I'm crazy. lol.

nope-i think you explained a possible scenario perfectly!

[Wipledale]

I have to respond here...It is a shame you dropped out before even giving your one sorority a chance. My daughter rushed 2 years ago, got in a sorority (which being out state and know NO one was huge). Well...she came of of the stadium in tears..I MADE her go to the house..spent the afternoon talking. She went back that night...and guess what? She was the last one to leave! and since then has never looked back. I just hope that this is a lesson...Don't drop out without even giving the one who CHOSE you a chance. When everyone says its a process...it is...sorry you did not at least give them a chance to make you happy....

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by BSCAXOalum

The one point I have not seen mentioned much if at all that seems to apply at both Alabama and Auburn is that inside pull is a big deal. No, it's not essential (cue Connecticut and California girls) but being THAT far away from home almost sets them apart. If you're from the state or a surrounding state, you need someone in the chapter to fight for you. Many of these girls have been visiting their junior and senior years in high school, have met active girls, gone to parties (good, bad or ugly) so rush is not their first rodeo with these girls. It becomes more and more evident to me that this is almost essential--especially with the sororities everyone seems to "want." This could explain so many high GPA/cute/active/sweet girls that get dropped. Nobody knows them enough to stand up in voting and say, "I know this girl. We HAVE to have her." Hearing, "well she was nice and cute during our skit party" doesn't stand as much ground.

This is a VERY good point.

[TideMom]

My daughter just went through Bama rush and fell through - she went to 2 pref parties and received no bid. While she was disappointed greatly, today she has already moved on. She mentioned on the phone that she actually CAN meet people without a sorority and she has lunch & dinner company for the next few days to prove it. That was her big fear - not being able to meet people and find friends.

I'm sure once school starts Wednesday, she'll meet even more people in classes & organizations. Should she choose to rush again next year, she'll be a bit more wise : )